Chapter Seventeen

Time Jump – One And A Half Years Later

Clary POV:

The past year has been a roller coaster. Jace and I were doing amazing, married life was one of the most amazing things I have ever experienced and to think that I could have missed out on this opportunity was really an eye opener. I can't believe that I was ever in that place, and that if I was successful that I wouldn't have this life, and I wouldn't want to be anywhere else right now. About 4 months ago we welcomed our first born into the world. She was the light of our lives; always smiling, and giggling. She was a total daddy's girl, and I loved her more than anything in this world. I don't know how my parents never told me they loved me, I tell her at least 30 times a day.

I had a couple appointments today, and I feel like I'm really making a difference with these kids. They are either experiencing what I did, or they have experienced it, or they are finally ready to talk about it. I feel like I am having a positive impact on their lives and there isn't anything else in the world that I want to be doing.

When I got to the office I looked over the files that were dropped off on my desk and realized that I had a new client today, she was a 15 year old girl, and her name was Madison. I looked over at the clock and noticed it was 10:30 am, and it was time for Madison's session. I walked out into the waiting room and called her name. A girl with jet black hair, a tone of piercings, dark black make up and a very discontent look on her face stood up. I mentally prepared for her to be very defensive and not forthcoming with any information but I was going to do my best. We walked back to my office and she took a seat on the couch, and I sat across from her. After a moment I decided to talk.

"Good morning Madison, how are you?" I asked and she looked into my eyes and I could see the emptiness in them.

"I'm fine." She said and I took a deep breath.

"My name is Dr. Herondale, but you can call me Clary." She nodded but didn't speak. "Want to tell me a little bit about yourself?"

"Not much to tell." She said as she avoided my gaze.

"Madison, this session is going to be hard if you don't open up." I said and she let out a dry laugh.

"Why should I talk to you? You're a stranger."

"What if I told you a little bit about myself? Than we won't be strangers." She shrugged and I put my notebook down and took my heels off and relaxed. "Well, like I said before my name is Clary. I married my high school sweetheart in a sense, we just had a baby actually. Her name is Danni, and she's one of the best things that's ever happened to me. I went to college at NYU, I went to Idris Area High school." I noticed the way her body shifted; I guess that was something we had in common. "I have an older brother, and when I was a teenager my escape was skateboarding."

"What do you mean high school sweetheart in a sense?" She asked, and it wasn't the response I was looking for but it was something.

"We met in high school, but we didn't start dating until we graduated." I said and she nodded. "What about you? Do you have a boyfriend?"

"No. I don't think any boy would be interested in me anyway."

"Why not?"

"I'm not tall, blonde, and I don't have big boobs." I nodded, I knew how that felt. Feeling so insecure about your appearance.

"I know the feeling. I never thought that I was ever going to find a guy who was interested in me. The guys I dated always wanted something from me."

"What do you mean?"

"My brother is in the NFL, my father is the governor of New York, and my mother is a famous painter. Coming across people who wanted to know me for me was hard."

"You're like an idol at my school. You have a wall dedicated to you in the main hallway." She said and I laughed.

"Yea, that's what having a famous family does to you." She nodded and I decided that I needed to ask why she was here. "Madison, would you like to tell me why you're here?"

"My mom thought I needed to talk to someone. She thinks I'm depressed."

"Are you?"

"Isn't that our job?"

"My job is to be a pair of ears that'll listen to your problems, and maybe some of your problems I can relate to and help you through them by sharing my own experiences and what helped me."

"I doubt we have the same issues."

"Why do you say that?" I ask and I know what she's thinking, I come from a wealthy family, and I have the perfect life.

"Please, we are from two different social classes. You grew up taking vacations to Paris, and probably driving an expensive car. You lived in a mansion, and you probably never have to work a day in your life. Your husband is probably a rich boy who drives a jag and wears expensive suits, and you probably have a personal chef, and I live in a run down neighborhood where I see drug deals happen every day. I have to take public transportation, and my parents have to work twice as hard as you do to afford anything." She said and I could tell that her family situation was probably one of her main reasons for her discontent. Something was wrong there, and I was going to find out what, but for now I wanted to build her trust.

"Is that how you really feel?" She nods and I laugh. She looks up at me with a angry expression. "You couldn't be more wrong about my life."

"What?"

"What you just described was not how my life played out at all." I said and she looked confused. "Yes, I lived in a big house, I had a chef, and my parents made sure I had the most expensive car, and the most expensive and in style wardrobe, but I was miserable. My parents never had time for me. They were constantly working, leaving me alone with the chef, or passing me off to a family member. You wanna know the first time my mom told me she loved me? I was 20. It took my own mother 20 years to tell me she loved me. My husband, he never knew his mother, she died giving birth, and his father was murdered right in front of him when he was 10. He was adopted into a wonderful family that was already struggling. They lost their home, and could barely afford their own three kids, but still took him in."

"I didn't know." She said and I looked at her.

"I know, how could you? Everything you see in that school about me is a lie. I was depressed. I cut myself, and burned myself, starved myself, I tried to kill myself senior year of high school." She gasped.

"Why?"

"My uncle molested me for four years. He would kiss me, and touch me, and rub me and my parents never knew. He would threaten me if I ever thought about telling. I lived a loveless, and a horrible life." I said and I could see tears well in her eyes. "I didn't tell you this for you to feel sorry for me. I want you to know that I know what it feels like to have the world, yet still have absolutely nothing. You thought you knew me, yet you didn't know the first thing about me. You knew the rumors, and the information that was allowed into the public. I'm on your side Madison, I want to help you. That's why I decided to study this in school. I want to make sure that I make a difference in peoples lives. I know you're hiding something, and I know you're struggling. I can see it." I look at the time and realize our session is almost up. "I don't care how long it takes you to open up to me, but I'm here for you."

"Everything I tell you is confidential right?" She asks and I can see the worry in her eyes.

"Unless I feel like you are a danger to yourself or society, everything you tell me is confidential." She looks nervous. "Madison, I'm not like other therapists. I have a very different spectrum of what I consider a danger to yourself and society. I promise, I'm here to help you. In any way I can. If you want to move our sessions to a different location that's more comfortable for you, we can do that, if you want to have longer session less frequently, we can arrange that, or shorter sessions more frequently, just tell me what you need from me Madison."

"It's my father." She says and I stay silent hoping she continues. "He isn't the nicest guy around. When he drinks, he gets violent. My mom doesn't think he has a problem, but he doesn't abuse her. Most of his anger is towards me."

"Physical, verbal, emotional?"

"Mostly verbal, but he's gotten physical." She said but I could tell she was also holding something else back, but I wasn't going to push her now.

"Does your mom know?"

"No, she works so much she's barely home." She said and I nodded. "Do you think we could move our next session somewhere that isn't so clinical? I feel like there is something wrong with me because I come here." I laughed and nodded.

"Where would you like to go?" I asked and I could see her thinking about it.

"Somewhere safe." She said and I was thinking of a bunch of different places but some were too crowded, others weren't really easily accessible, and if she has to use public transportation to get there it wouldn't work, and than an idea hit me.

"How about my house?" I said and I could see the surprise in her expression.

"Are you sure?"

"Yea, I have an office there, and during our sessions my husband can take our daughter out so we can be alone."

"Okay." She said and I started to scribble down my address.

"This is my address, and meet here at 11, Thursday next week." I said and she nodded and got up.

"Thanks Clary. For being willing to listen and not judge."

"It's my pleasure Madison. I'll see you Thursday." I said and she nodded before exiting my office.

The rest of the day went by rather quickly but I couldn't stop thinking about Madison. Something was off, and I knew she was holding something big in and I wanted her to tell me so we could start to work through it but I wasn't going to push her and I hope she wants to continue our sessions until she is comfortable enough to talk about it.

I finally finished all my appointments today and headed home. I couldn't wait to see my baby. I missed her when I had to go back to work, and thankfully Jace has the luxury of being able to work from home so he can take care of her while I work, but I missed her chubby little cheeks and her cute little giggles. When I walked into my house I followed those cute little giggles that I missed so much and found them sitting on the couch while Jace tickled her belly. I walked over and sat down next to them and Jace looked up and gave me a kiss on the cheek and than he looked at me and I think he could tell something was wrong.

"What's got you thinking so hard?" He asked and I laughed. I grabbed Danni and I gave her a big kiss and hugged her.

"I got a new client today, and I can just tell she's holding something big back, and I want her to be able to trust me, because I want to help her but she's so stubborn." I say and he laughs. "What's so funny?"

"It must be so hard to reason with a stubborn person." He says and I know he's talking about me now. "How ever will you survive?"

"I am so sorry if I'm like that. It's so hard to communicate."

"That it is, but we figured it out over the years." He says and I lean back and he puts his arm around my shoulders.

"Our next session is here. She wanted to meet somewhere safe that didn't feel so clinical." He laughed. "Our session is on Thursday at 11, so you can have a nice little daddy daughter date for about an hour."

"Sounds good. And don't worry Clare, you will get through to her. If there is anyone in this world who understands a traumatic experience, its you. I know you can help her, and you are very easy to open up too, she'll come around." He said as he kissed my temple. Danni looked up at me and started to giggle and I couldn't help but smile.

Helping people is all I've ever wanted to do since my life took a turn for the worst. I wanted to help those who thought they were all alone in the world, and I know Madison feels that way, and if I can't help her, I don't know who is and I can't help but feel like I could really be a positive influence for Madison, but in the end it was totally up to her, and I had to accept that sometimes I can't help everyone, but I damn sure was going to try.

Authors Note:

So, this chapter took an interesting turn, but I actually really love where it went. I know you all might think that this is a filler but it isn't. Madison will actually be really important to Clary and her family later. Although I am planning on ending this story in a couple chapters, those chapters will be longer than normal because I do want it to be a complete story. I wanted this chapter to show how far Clary has come and I think I did that, and I also wanted to give you all some insight to her job. Mostly I wanted to show that you can help someone through a traumatic event, and I thought that adding Madison and her story was a great way for Clary to show that! Let me know what you all think, and I hope you enjoy it! :)