Okay, okay, okay... *shoots herself and comes back from the dead*
I really am incredibly sorry that I had completely neglected this story for over a year now. That wasn't very nice of me to do, but I do have a reason behind it, and it's not because I didn't care about this story nor for my readers. You see, I've been engrossed with this shitty website called Tumblr. Yeah...for those who know what it is and what is does to you, it does kind of drain you away from everything else which it has done to me. So, because of that, I've been doing role playing there, writing with many others as well as writing my own drabbles and other stories on the new anime/manga thingy I got so into Kuroshitsuji.
I've been doing things here and there on that godforsaken website that it even was becoming stressful for me since I have many role plays to do, and I tend to write a lot for replies, so it only became heavy on me, yet I still remained on it for a while longer. I'm still role playing, so yeah.
Also, I've been having such difficult times such as college and issues with 'friends' as well as relationship wise. I've been sent to the hospital many times last year and at least one or two times this year because I'm not entirely stable. I've done many bad things, and I've been getting the help that I need, sometimes refusing that I need it which only caused me to become worse and worse. Currently, I'm doing okay, so let's hope that lasts a while.
And, I'll admit, I had been having a major writer's block on this story until recently when I have begun to get back to my Vocaloid stage since stupid KuroSHITsuji has been taking over my life pretty much along with my OTP and such. *sighs*
So that's pretty much the reasons why I haven't been able to update this story for a while, and I really am sorry. I don't want to say lies any more, so I can't really say that I'll be updating these too often unless I get a major explosive thing to make me write a lot. For now, I'm going to set a goal for myself and hopefully I can keep myself to it. My goal is to update at least once a month. I really want to keep this story going until the very end, and I really don't want to disappoint you guys since I read your reviews and it makes me really happy to see that you all are enjoying it. It gives my motivation to keep on writing for you all, and I will truly try my best to uphold my goal for you guys~
This story is not dead, and it won't be dead until it's done (which is sad but that's just how it is). I'm back, guys~
Please do enjoy this chapter. Since I've been writing a lot in the past year or so, my writing has changed quite a lot, and you'll be able to see it, comparison to my earlier chapters. But I still hope you all like it nonetheless and without any further ado, I present you Chapter 27 at last.
Chapter 27
My icy blue orbs didn't faltered from the grey head that had so bumped into me as I was heading back home to take care of my own business. There was no doubt that this shit was coming this way to visit Rin- an innocent visit, he would say, to which I know immediately that it's not true. But we stood there, like two predators eyeing the other, coming up with strategies to attack the other in case it were to become another war, one where I won't hesitate to punch his ugly face.
Yes, I hated him.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, noticing how Piko had flinched a bit from how deep my voice had suddenly sounded, but it was only my threatening voice. Yeah, you better be scared, you dip shit.
The other stood his ground as his own eyes narrowed slightly before giving out a defeated sigh, his focus suddenly on the ground. His body was that of a weaken prey, getting himself ready to be devoured. "I'm not here to cause any trouble..."
"Bullshit." Seriously, after everything that happened, he really expects me to believe in anything he tells me? "For all I know, you're probably heading over to the hospital to try and 'purify' Rin again. Save yourself by turning your ass around and heading back to your hell hole before I take care of it myself."
"No, no. Please listen to me. I'm being serious."
I raised a suspicious eyebrow as I crossed his arms over my chest and glare over to the other. Would it do me harm if I were to stand here and listen to whatever lies he's going to spew?
Piko gave a loud sigh as he hid his hands behind his back in a bashful manner, something that wasn't normal with him especially when he was around me. Perhaps there were people that were watching? "I did come to see if Rin was doing better, and I also came to give an apology.
An apology? Hmm...
"I know that what I did before was wrong of me, and now I understand. It's just that...I was raised by this organization, my parents being part of it too." His gaze was away from mine, but I knew better than to lower my guard in case he tried something fishy. "We do work on trying to make the world a better place, to help people get become pure by erasing those sinful interactions they have done in the past. We have done nothing but good; we're not bad people. But I was being one by what I was doing to Rin..."
"And me," I sternly added.
"And you." Piko gave his third sigh. "I just...I guess it was love at first sight, you know? When I first saw her, I instantly knew she was a good person, a very beautiful one at that. She held no true evil within her, only the damned sickness she has to deal with. Other than that, she's nothing but pure, and I wanted her to stay that way."
"Hold it. If she was already 'pure', then why the fuck would you go around trying to 'clean' her?"
"Because she kept talking about you."
I held back my breath, my cool blue hues growing dull, I'm sure, because whenever I heard about Rin talking about me, it was normally bad things, and that instantly made me think that she might be lying to be. Earlier when I was just with her, she told me such things that made me hope that she didn't hate me. This was probably my fault, but the idea that I'm the bad guy in all this just doesn't seem to go away. There was just no way she could like a guy like me.
The grey head finally had the balls to look up to me with a face that almost seemed so out of character. The way I had seen Piko to be, he was a cheeky, energetic, crazy guy. But this face, it was one that was sorrowful and begging as if he was trying to even things out by actually being sorry for what he had done. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do the things I had done before. I guess I got jealous over the fact that she only talked about you. 'Oh yeah! That reminds me of what Len did when-' or 'You know, my buddy Len was doing this-'. She would just bring up things that reminded her of you, and it just frustrated me that the only being she had in her mind the most was you."
It was my turn to look down to examine my shoes for a bit. Yeah, I heard before from him that what Rin would talk about would be me, but he also said that it was a bad influence on her or something. That my being was 'tainting' her soul. I wouldn't find that surprising in the least really since I am quite a disgusting guy, but I've tried, I really have, to become someone better for her, someone she could admire and be thankful for, someone who wasn't so disrespectful towards others just to get what I want. No, I, Len Kagamine, refuse to live the life of the player that has been my aesthetic for these past years of high school. I don't want that anymore.
Rin made me want to become someone better.
"And that's why-" Hearing Piko's voice again, I lifted my head back up to see him still holding onto this sad look. "-I wanted to remove you from her memory. She told me your flaws, but I found them more to be teasing in a way that even with them, she still liked you because, as pure as a soul that she is, she knows no one is perfect. I could just sense it within her that she liked you more that she let on and knowing that only made my anger stronger." He clenched his fists and shouted, "I love her! I wanted her to only be thinking of me! I wanted her to love me just as much as I did to her!"
What was this awful gut feeling I'm suddenly, well, feeling? This wasn't a new thing for me; I used to steal guys' girls because they were more into me than they were to them, and I would have some casually come up to me telling me the exact same thing- either that or they'd try to fight me, but seeing how I'm a god of the school, most avoided that and would only run away like a scared dog with their tails between their legs. They had nothing on me, so it really didn't bother me much when they would do stupid things like these. I just didn't care.
But now...I don't know.
Piko calmed down, hanging his head and loosening his tensed muscles. "But I guess that's not gonna happen, huh? I've done so many bad things to her that she wouldn't even look twice my way. I never wanted to hurt her, yet I did so, didn't I? I'm so stupid." He gave a bow, something that not even the people who worshiped me did. "I'm sorry for causing the both of you trouble."
Yes, this definitely was something completely new to me. Someone coming up to me and apologizing after so much that they had put not just me, but Rin as well through? Could I really forgive him? This was a touch decision for if I say the wrong one, things might go horribly wrong with either Piko not being too happy with me not accepting his apology and might try to hurt us again or if I do forgive him, he might see that as a way to get us again some time later. Ugh! There were too many possibilities, and they were all negative. I have something with thinking negatively so much, and it normally occurred whenever Rin was at the hospital.
Rin. Tell me, what would you do?
Well, yeah I know what she would do. She would forgive the grey head and give him another chance. That how much of a good person she was. Unlike me who immediately thought otherwise, that Piko might try to harm her again and drag me along. Naturally, I wouldn't even think twice on forgiving some low shit, then again, there was something totally different in the guy that stood before me; he wasn't the same as before. He seemed sincere, and that gut feeling was only growing.
Should I forgive him or not?
Giving a long sigh, I raised one hand and placed it over Piko's shoulder, causing him to hesitated and look into my own eyes. I took a few second staring at his own, trying to find the deception hidden within them but found none, so I gave one more sigh before letting out the words, "Apology accepted."
That nearly made Piko shed tears as I could see his eyes becoming glossy with tears before granting a smile and another bow. "Thank you, thank you, thank you. I promise you won't regret your decision. Thank you."
"I better not," I warned. "If you do something like that again, I swear I'm not going to go easy on you, understood?"
"Yes, sir!"
That caught me off guard for sure as I shook my head and patted his shoulder once before motioning him towards the hospital. "It's getting late, and if you're thinking of visiting Rin, you better get your butt in gear and go now. I don't want anyone to be disturbing her rest, so go now."
The grey head nodded and gave multiple 'thank yous' before heading off, stopping a few feet away to turn back around. "What about you?"
Not even sure why he cared, I turned myself around to face my back towards him and began heading my way, giving him a wave of my hand. "Don't worry about me. I told you to head over to the hospital, so do it before I change my mind."
I guess that gave him the signal to move since I hear those feet create rapid foot steps which caused me to smirk, one that lasted only a while until it became...well, I'm not even sure. Was it a frown or a sad smile? They count the same, don't they? Well, whatever it was that I was wearing on my lips, it wasn't at bit comforting nor a bit disturbing. It just felt right in a sense, and I went along with it.
Not even taking account into the illusion of time, I ended back at home almost with my mind with me until I threw the keys over to the kitchen counter. I looked over to the living room that has been surprisingly cleaned, a thing that I did before I headed out to perform the project that had been due...
Oh that's right.
I sighed as I cleaned up some things and fixed myself a meal before plopping myself on the couch, solemnly eating as quietly as I could, almost as if I were to chew too loud, I might break the entire house.
I had much to think about.
Now that the project was over, there was no need for Rin and I to be hanging around anymore. That was the only reason we spent time together, right? With that out of the way, what else would there be for us to continue? Surely, Rin wouldn't want to waste more time with me though I can't say the same because I really enjoyed my time with her. Such a shame we must part now, just when things were kind of getting good, I don't know.
'Because she kept talking about you.'
That still didn't sound right in my head, and it only made it hurt. Why in the world would Rin be talking about me? I understand if she was ranting out about how much she hates me, yet it still didn't make any sense. Earlier today, she told me she was thrilled spending time with me and even asked if we were close friends- best friends. I agreed because 1) I didn't want her to break down and 2) I really did mean it. I felt like I've known her for long that we could be called best friends, but...ugh!
I stood up and carefully placed the bowl I had down on the desk beside me, making sure I wouldn't go insane with frustration to throw it across the room. I placed my hands over my face, wanting to peel my skin right off and cry out loud for some clear answers that I desperately wanted to know. I was only going to kill myself with these recurring thoughts that weren't neither false nor true, and there was only one person who would tell them what was right and wrong.
My shoulder to rest on, Rin Kagamine.
But there was no time for me. At the moment, she was the most important and needed to get better soon. She's bee getting sicker lately, and it had only added to my already stressed life. The least I want her to be is...
Stop.
I gave a soft growl, grabbing the bowl and walking back to the kitchen to wash it clean. I really need to stop negative because it's only going to build my grave deeper. For now, I just needed to do what I can to help Rin out and forget everything else. Hmm...okay that won't happen because I'm sure I can't just neglect school and other responsibilities and disappoint her. And just at that moment, I realized another crucial thing.
I've been doing a lot of things just for her.
A small smile came across my lips, stepping out from the kitchen and back to the living room where we spent days working on that dreadful project. Even when she wasn't here, my house has become lighter with her light, and I haven't been feeling as lonely as before. How amazing it was, wasn't it? That just one person can light up someone's world. As cheesy as that sounds, it's true.
I gave a out chuckle which wasn't a happy one, more of a 'haha shit' kind of deal, not sure, as I headed down to my room to get some fresh clothing and possibly watch TV until I fall asleep.
That fucking Piko better not do something funny while I'm not there.
And there you have it, precious souls. Piko and Len have finally come together to speak of such, and it appears that Piko feels sorry for what he done in the past. Len seems a bit suspicious but eventually forgives him and lets him go see Rin. Was it a good idea to had done that? *shrugs*
Len keeps thinking a lot about how Rin might like him then not like him. The poor guy is getting a bit overwhelmed with it and really only Rin can fix this. It's Rin's turn to confess her love or not to Len just to chill the boy out a bit.
And Piko apparently liked Rin and that's why he did what he did, but no one cares about that right? Sorry.
But yes, here is the chapter many have been waiting for. Like I said earlier, I will aim to update once a month from now on. So somewhere at the beginning of each month, I will do my best to keep this story going. Funny how I uploaded this on April Fools. Haha.
I would greatly appreciate it if you lovely people would leave a review to tell me how my new writing has become whether you like it or not and talk about the story, what parts you like, what do you feel will happen next, was it a good idea to let Piko off the hook or not? Whatever you wish. I enjoy reading theses and like I said, it does gives me motivation to keep on going. Thank you everyone for keeping up with this story and for having to deal with such a bad writer.
I love you all~
