It sucks being an adult.
Chapter 28
The final bell rang at last.
It was the ending of yet another long week of school, and it seemed like I wasn't the only one who had my arms open wide to welcome the weekend. Everyone rushed as quickly as they could out from the classrooms and out through the front gate towards what was considered their freedom on the other side. Only a couple few stayed behind to leave at a slower pace, one of them being myself and a few others who were merely just waiting to follow me like sheep to their pastor. It made me feel a bit glad that my influence in this school was still definite though lately I haven't really bothered much to keep maintaining it. But to be honest, it doesn't seem like I have to try to stay a god since these followers of mine are as mindless as they could get. Frankly, I feel pity for them.
There was also another character in which I've been keeping my eye on that somewhat followed behind everyone else, and that was Piko. Ever since that last talk we had a few days ago, he's been keeping quiet around me, almost as if he was scared to say anything that might anger me in some way to which I was grateful for because that proves to me he's learned his place. I am aware that he's been seeing Rin, but I've been so generous to let him keep visiting her just because she's been allowing it, and I respect her decision. That doesn't necessarily mean that I trust that little shit or like him enough to have him as my comrade; I still have my grudges and that won't change in a matter of weeks. The only good thing about him has been his behavior which has calmed down since the last conflict we had, and if he knows any better, he better stay an obedient dog.
Once I reached the exit of the school and gave my goodbyes to the girls who had pursued me, I was finally given my space to walk on my own towards the end of the school grounds. I was pretty excited to leave this place and head over to my house in order to wait until I get a notice from someone very important, however, I wasn't given the chance to leave just yet as someone else had different plans for me, someone I hadn't seen in a long time.
"Hey, Len. It's been a while."
Haruhi.
While the last time we've communicated didn't end on a good note, I wasn't a bit nervous to see her again. The only thing I felt when I saw that face was impatience since I was really hoping to go home as soon as possible in order to continue what I had planned for today. But really, there wasn't anything she could do to stop me.
"Hey," I said nonchalantly, not eyeing her as I crossed my arms to show the sign language of not being a least bit interested.
She closed the distance between us, trying her best to sweeten her way into my good side though it wasn't going to happen. "I've missed you. And I'm sorry for what I've done to you before. I wasn't being a good girl."
I rolled my eyes and said nothing.
"I swear that I've changed, baby, and I'll do anything just to be with you." She placed her hands over my crossed arms and looked at me straight in the eyes. "I love you."
If there was one thing that really pissed me off, it was the fact that there are some people who don't know the meaning of the word 'no'.
"Haruhi, I'm sorry. I'm just not interested." I pulled her hands off me and pushed her away to give myself some space, my blue eyes glaring slightly at her figure. "I told you before, and I'll say it again. I can't love you because I honestly don't find anything about you appealing. I'm sorry."
There came a small pause before Haruhi spoke up and pouted like a big fucking baby. "Oh come on, Len! That's not true. You told me before that you liked everything that I had to offer. Why aren't you-" But her speech was blocked off as I found no more fucks to give. I moved my attention elsewhere as she continued to speak and noticed my friends hanging out just outside the gate. Kaito took sight of me and waved me over to join them to which I was glad enough to do.
"Yeah, yeah. Anyway, see ya." I stepped aside and made my way towards the others while Haruhi angrily stomped behind me and started to tell me such awful things that I really didn't have the energy to give a damn about. I sure wished this was the last I'll be seeing of her because that side of my life was no more. It's been over a month and half since I last seduced any girl that I've lost interest. Sure, I might still flirt with some of them just because that's still a part of me, however, I won't ever lust over them as I've done so before.
And that's all thanks to a certain, special someone.
"Hey, what's up, Len?" The minute I joined up with my group, they all greeted me with smiles on their faces. I high fived both Kaito and Gakupo and nodded to both Miku and Luka to acknowledge their existence without having the need to touch them when they possibly didn't want to.
"Not much, just ready to head home, you know," I replied. "You guys?"
"We were actually planning to head out downtown," Kaito said but was interrupted by Miku who excitedly added to the statement.
"Yep, we are! Have you heard that Rin is getting discharged today? Isn't that great?"
"Oh my gosh, guys, like if that's not something we should celebrate, I don't know what is. I'm so happy to have our little Rinny back!" Luka's booming voice sprung forth as she and Miku both did bunny hops from excitement.
I'd join them too if I wanted to because I was just as elated as they were. This morning, I received a text from Rin telling me she was going to be set free sometime this afternoon and honestly, my joy in hearing that could not be properly shown through mere words on screen. Just knowing something like that to be true made this whole day better because that meant Rin was okay, and she was going to be able to come back to reality once more. But while I was mad from happiness on the inside, I gave out the impression that it wasn't that much of a big deal on the outside, staying as cool as I could be.
"I'm glad she's doing okay," Gakupo said as he reached over to place his hand upon Luka's shoulder to get her to calm down. "The little miss sure is a tough cookie."
"Damn right she is!" Luka exclaimed. "That's why we're going to head out to get some gifts for her return. I've heard there was some new shops with a bunch of cute things~!"
"Ooh~! Then what are we waiting for? Let's go!" Miku giggled as she suddenly jumped over Kaito's back for a piggyback ride, one he hadn't anticipated and almost had the both of them fall to the ground.
"Babe, you really need to warn me before you do stuff like this. You might end up breaking my back one of these days," Kaito sighed but adjusted himself enough to where he could carry his girl properly.
"I'm sorry, sweetie. I promise I'll tell you ahead of time next time, yeah?" She gave a kiss to the blue haired man's cheek and that seemed to be the signal for everyone to start walking away from the school at last and head towards the direction of downtown.
To be honest, before, I didn't really care much about affectionate stuff these two couples did, but things changed and now as I look at the pairs being so in love with one another, I'll admit I'm a bit jealous. I can only dream of doing stuff like that with my special one...
"And I'll take the flan, please and thank you~"
After Miku ordered her dessert, the waiter assigned to us bowed and grabbed all of our menus before heading out, leaving the five of us to do our own thing.
All of us had been walking around for two hours moving from shop to shop and looking for the perfect gifts to give to Rin once we would get the chance to see her. While Kaito and Gakupo selected their own items at the first store they were in and I had my gift set and done from a while back, the girls weren't going to stop as they continued with every shop that caught their eye, causing for us boys to trail behind them and pant from exhaustion. One thing we could thank them for, however, is giving us some exercise for the day though really during the time, we weren't all too happy about it. Thankfully, Luka suggested we stop at a cafe before finally heading home which everyone was glad enough to agree.
We all waited patiently for our orders, talking among ourselves about anything that came to our minds though for the most part, I was excluded from the talks as my mind decided to daydream instead. My eyes glanced out the window I sat besides and allowed myself to drift off into another world for a small amount of time. But being with these people, alone time wasn't going to be an option.
"So, Len," Luka caught my attention quickly being how she sat next to me over to my right while she sat to the left side of Gakupo, making her the meat of this man sandwich. Kaito and Miku sat across from us which gave them more space to stretch which wasn't fair but then again, no matter which side I'd sit, it'd end up in the same result having been seated at this small booth.
"Yeah?" I said as I turned towards the pink haired girl who had her light blue eyes locked onto me.
"I think we need to have a serious talk," she informed me, whisking some strands of her long hair over her shoulder.
"About?"
"Like what's the deal with you and Rin?"
"Come again?"
Luka gave a small giggle as she rested her head on top of her hands and closed her eyes for a bit almost as if thinking about what to say next, but Miku stepped in before she could say anything else.
"Do you like Rin?"
I hesitated for a second, my face most likely giving the look of shock as I eyed the two females who gave each other secret looks like a way to communicate without having to say anything which really was stressing me out. Have they figured out my feelings for Rin?
"W-what do you mean?" I stuttered, feeling myself shrinking in my spot yet my eyes were wild as they looked from Kaito who was sitting in front of me to Gakupo who sat at the edge of the same side of the booth Luka and I were in. But they either had no idea what the girls were talking about or decided to stay out from it since all they did was look around but never at me.
"Oh my gosh, Len. You can't be serious. You know exactly what we mean." Luka turned back to look at me with some sort of mischievousness to her face which actually...kind of intimidated me.
"I...don't-"
"Do you love Rin or not?" I guessed Miku wasn't going to be playing the waiting game as she blurted out the obvious notation they two girls were hinting at. She leaned forward, laying the top half of her body over the table as she tried to reach out to poke me but failed in doing so and only remained there softly whimpering. Sometimes, it was hard to take these girls seriously, but I could tell from their eyes they weren't playing around.
I looked down to the hands resting on my lap and did my best to not sound hoarse to give away how nervous I was and to hide the faint blush that had crossed my cheeks. "Ha. You guys are crazy. Why would you think something like that?"
"Well, shit, because it's obvious," Luka commented as she leaned back, crossing her arms and I could feel her hawk eyes roaming all over me. "The way you've been acting around her, from what I know, has been a little...romantic, don't you think?"
I twitched slightly. Have I really been that obvious?
"R-Romantic? Ha! Now you're just pulling my leg," I joked in order to make it seem like none of this was actually affecting me in any huge way, but these two girls could see past the lies.
"You visit her a lot," Miku added, pulling herself back into a sitting position just as the waiter arrived. He gave all of us our orders, bowed, then headed off once more to leave us with this talk I wish I wasn't a part of. "We know because she's been telling us. Like almost every day, right Luka?"
"Mhmm. And that you stay for as long as those visiting hours last and then some," Luka said matter-of-fact as she took a sip from a milkshake she received.
By this time, I felt too sick to the stomach that seeing the banana sundae in front of me made me almost want to vomit. I kept looking from Kaito to Gakupo as if asking them for some back up, but neither of them flinched a molar muscle to help me out. What a bunch of wankers.
"Is it wrong to be worried about someone's health? You guys are thinking too much into this," I said as I forced myself to act as neutral as I could, reaching out for a spoon to scoop a small bit of my dessert that I could not force to waste.
"No, we're not saying anything like that at all, silly," the pink haired tuna loving girl giggled. "We're just asking if you might have some feelings for Rin that aren't something you'd feel for someone who you see as just a friend. Is it really that hard to confess?"
"I already did. And that confession is a no."
"Come on, Len. Don't lie to us. It's okay to tell us. We'll keep it in our group, won't we guys?"
"Absolutely!" Miku saluted just at the moment Kaito reached out to her with a spoonful of ice cream for her to eat but since her movement was rather quick, he dropped the spoon and the cool treat landed on the table, causing him to almost cry in anguish at the lost of a bit of his most favorite meal ever. Miku gasped and apologized to Kaito for her actions, wrapping her arms around him.
I heard Gakupo chuckled at his lone spot all the way at the end of the line.
"Because believe it or not," Luka continued being savage. "I actually think Rin likes you a lot. Like A LOT."
Now that statement shot right through me like a bullet at high speed - no - more like a bolt of lightening that electrified every single nerve in my goddamn body and made me paralyzed to the core. I swear I felt like I was underwater for a moment; I couldn't hear things clearly, I could barely see straight, and I felt like I was suffocating.
"Rin doesn't just like him," the muffled voice of Miku reached my ears. "I'm pretty sure she loves him too."
And now all of my senses came to a halt. My world, this plane of existence, came to a stop just as it was drenched in the darkness that came when Death appeared right before you.
Okay...I know I've exaggerated that, but I am being nothing but honest. I felt like things came to a standstill for a while because the things these two crazy loons have told me...it was beyond surreal. But once I did came back in control of my body and soul, that whole performance I did was a rather waste of my energy.
Because I know Rin doesn't love me.
But by god did I wish it was true...
I gave a tired smirk as I went back to eating my treat, no longer pressured by the two girls and merely waved them off by saying, "Yeah, you two are out of your freaking minds."
"Oh really? So you don't believe us?" Luka mused, her eyes not leaving my frame for a second.
"It's a bunch of bullshit."
"Bullshit? That's pretty harsh-"
"Yeah, well, that's life for you, sweetheart. You just can't expect for any two people to fall in love with one another. That isn't how things work in real life."
"I know that but in this circumstance, I honestly feel like it's a possible thing between you two because-"
"Well, it's not." I stood up and slammed my hands hard on the table top, causing silence to spread to the entire group, all their eyes on me but mine were solely locked onto Luka's who was daring to talk me into falling for a fairy tale that I know won't ever come true. "I don't know what your guys' deal is, but this topic isn't something to joke about. So what if I actually love Rin, hmm? What then? Should I just confess my feelings for her and hope she feels the same? Sure, that sounds like the most logical solution and maybe I'm just scared of rejection, but I don't want to ruin the friendship we have with one another just because I couldn't control myself. Rin doesn't have eyes for me. She just doesn't. I know because I'm the one who's spent more time with her than anyone one of you to know that fact. And you guys have no idea just how much I wish for one day for her to see me as someone she could lend her heart to. But for now, she only sees me as her friend, and if that's as far as this relationship will go, then so be it. I'm scared of losing her, I don't want to lose her. She's the only one who's made me learn what it is to love someone. I'd give up my life for her."
Anxiously breathing, I stood there having a swirl of mixed emotions engulf me like a tornado. It wasn't until after the speech that I realized what I had said though I wasn't able to pinpoint exactly how I should feel about my reveal. I didn't really have time to think about it and take back what I said as my body urged me to move, so I did and jumped over the table in order to escape the stares the others were giving me, surely judging me even as I ran away from them.
My legs moved on their own as they carried me far, far away, but my mind knew exactly how to maneuver them, so I would end up following the path that lead to my house. There was no where else I want to be right now than be locked up in my cold, dark hole and be alone. I wanted to destroy myself for a bit, torture myself with thoughts that could kill, just so I can bounce right back with as much numbness as I can. I didn't want to feel anything. I just wanted to be an empty shell for a while.
I just needed to forget.
Body aching but not stopping, I was able to reach my home in under twenty minutes, however, I did came to a screeching halt when my blurry eyesight from the tears I tried to hold back caught sight of light coming from inside the building. I was sure I didn't leave the lights on when I left this morning, so the only other thing that came to mind was that someone had snuck in. I cursed under my jagged breath as I was ready to embrace a combat that might come from this bare handed. I knew what were the stakes if an invader was actually in my home; I could die if they held a weapon. But at the moment, I didn't much care for my own safety and barged right in, my hands clenched tightly to deliver a beating to the first unknown being I would see.
What I saw was something that knocked the air right out from my exhausted body.
Two figures sitting down at my living room couch turned my way, their blues eyes staring at me. There came forth a staring contest that lasted for who knows how long though to me it felt like an eternity until one of them, the tall, prestigious looking male of the two with striking blonde hair nicely combed, stood up and granted me a small smile while the other, a short, elegant woman with coconut colored hair and a very beautiful red velvet dress, remained seated yet managed a wave at me. The man was the first to open his mouth.
"It's been a while, Len."
And all I could do was stare and keep my mouth shut while the world around me spun out of control. My heart raced like it was begging to be freed from its cage, and my lungs were too heavy to give me enough oxygen to keep my brain from turning off.
"It's so good to see you again, honey," the woman spoke then but, even so, her voice sounded much too far away for me to distinguish correctly.
Yet in the middle of all this, there was one sound that was clearer than anything else in this time and space, enough to break through the beating of drums in my ears. It was a small chime of bells followed by a slight vibration in my left pocket that indicated there was someone else who was trying to reach me from this void I fell in, and only one person out of 7 billion people in this earth had that ringtone signal.
My parents were here.
Rin was contacting me.
I was in limbo.
I'm so sorry.
I know it's taken me a long time to update this story again. But I have returned for a moment in order to grant you lovelies another chapter at last. I hope this will be enough to please for now. I cannot make promises on making these chapters more frequent as my life has become a battlefield. But I will try my best. As you can all see, I haven't given up on the story.
Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Please review and let me know what you think about it so far. Thank you, and I hope you all have a wonderful day.
