12…Gardening At Night…
Once outside, I just keep walking. There are other restaurants and businesses on this block and plenty of people around. I want to get away from them; get away from the entire human race. Forward. Movement, is all I think. I start jogging. Then running. I get almost to the end of the block and realize I have no idea where I am or what direction I'm traveling, and I am never directionally challenged, especially here in Manhattan where it is so easy to get around. I slow back to a walk, and then stop entirely. Even though I've been running, when I do stop, the cold descends through the thin silk of my dress and I start shivering.
I hear a voice, a beautiful velvety man's voice, call out behind me, "Ellawyn!"
I start walking again, away from it. Forward. Movement.
"Please! Wait!"
I feel a hand grab my arm; this action causes me to spin toward him. I look everywhere but at Leif's face until I feel fingers on my chin, pulling my head to face him. My eyes reluctantly meet his and I shiver again.
"You're cold."
I shake my head, but my shivering says otherwise.
"You have a coat at the restaurant?"
I shiver-shrug in reply.
"Come. We're going to get it." He starts to pull me back down the block and I am suddenly conscious that I caused a bit of a scene by running out and there is no way in hell I'm going back in there.
I stop, quite literally digging in my heels, wrenching my arm out of his tight grasp. I will not be dragged down the street like an errant child.
Leif stops, glaring at me. I glare right back.
I think, but don't say, You're not the boss of me. This is not at all childish.
"Give me your coat check claim." When I make no move, he adds, "Now!" And then softer, "Please."
I am perturbed to find myself reaching into my bag to get it. I hand it over wordlessly.
"You are going to stay right here. You will not move until I come back." I don't answer. He walks a few steps toward the restaurant, his eyes still not leaving mine. He points at me. "Stay!" He turns, striding back down the block and for a moment, I'm actually glad he's getting my coat because it's a hand-me-down from my grandmother and I'd hate to lose it. I watch Leif until he disappears behind other people on the sidewalk.
Then it occurs to me that his last words were exactly what I've said to Petal the couple times I've tied her up outside some shop to run in quickly. Stay! Do not move until I come back! I giggle a little until my amusement turns to indignation and then outrage—I am not a child, nor am I a dog! I silently vow never to say that to sweet Petal again.
I glance around me, seeing the street signs just a few feet away. Okay…I am at 12th and University Place. I reset my internal compass. The street light changes to green and with it, the accompanying walk signal beckons like an invitation.
Stay, indeed!
I cross 12th and just keep going, turning south another block down.
I am momentarily confounded as the iron fence surrounding that side garden at Grace Church where I met Captain Gray comes into view. I guess I have not been conscious of where I'm going, just relying on my inner compass to give direction to my stride. I trail my fingers across the top of the fence until I come to the gate that opens into the garden, sure to find it locked this time. I try it anyway.
It swings open.
Knowing this is trespassing, I walk onto the dark garden path anyway, clicking shut the gate behind me. I sit on the wet grass under the tree, near where I sat with Petal almost a week ago, not even caring that this will probably cause a nice butt stain on my silk dress.
I pull my knees up and wrap my arms around my legs. I lean a little to my left, against the tree, closing my eyes. I am immediately soothed into a kind of peace.
There are plenty of people walking and talking on the sidewalk outside the church garden, but it is one brisk staccato of footsteps that I can't help but tune in to. It seems to exist apart from the other street sounds; its own song. It captures my hearing and won't let go. I curl into the tree, making myself smaller. The footsteps stop and I swear I can hear a head swivel from side to side. The footsteps start again. Then stop, to be replaced by the light squeaking of the garden gate. Then start again. Then stop. I keep my eyes closed.
Is it actually possible for a pair of eyes to burn into a person? My whole right side goes warm and then warmer still when a heavy body alights next to me on the ground. I hear shoes dragging on the earth and stopping in what I know, even with my eyes closed, is a cross-legged position. I feel a warm leg against my right shin. I tune into a new sound—breathing in and out. A new fire burns across my back as a muscular arm snakes around my waist, pulling me away from the tree. I hear a rustle of cloth and feel a coat placed over my back and shoulders. The arm again. On my shoulder this time, pulling me further away from the tree and closer to the warmth. I don't resist. I free fall to the right for just a moment, for just a few inches, my head coming to land against a shoulder. There's a new sense added to the sounds and the warmth, a lovely masculine scent. My nose moves forward, to the source of that smell, inhaling into a warm neck. It is my own arm this time that snakes across a back, under a suit jacket. My other arm moves across his stomach so it meets at his side in a perfect circle. I clasp my hands together, pulling tighter as my head searches the perfect niche against his neck. A warm hand softly touches my cheek, gently pressing my head tighter to the warmth and the smell. I do not open my eyes, but tune into another sound—the perfect steady rhythm of a heartbeat. Neither of us moves for an eternity.
Finally, a soft voice. "I better get you home."
My eyes open languidly.
I thought I already was.
