The party just seemed endless. I couldn't believe how happy everyone seemed. I should be right in there with them. Why wasn't I?
The thought didn't last long in my mind however, as I began to witness Varric and Iron Bull in a drinking contest. It was quite amusing.
"Dwarf, face it, I've got you pegged".
"Not in your life time Tiny".
I chuckled, "If I didn't know any better I would have said that you were still in school".
"Pssht! Des, just because I enjoy a good battle, and some war strategy talk, doesn't mean I'm a mature Qunari."
"You've got that right boss," Krem shook her head at the pair.
Josephine chuckled, a smirk adorning her lips, "If your maturity states anything about your manhood size, then I should feel bad for all the ladies that, dare I say, 'ride the bull".
My mouth just dropped. Did Josephine just say THAT, rudely I might add, to Iron Bull. Varric was on the floor, holding his stomach like it would burst at any second from the amount of laughing.
"Oh my! Did I say that out loud? I must remember to use my indoor voice next time, my apologies".
"Ruffles, you just made my day".
"I think I'm still picking my jaw up off the floor". The look on Iron Bull's face was hilarious. "I think she's got you Bull".
"For now," he scoffed, turning towards Josephine, "Maybe you'd like to Ride the Bull and see for yourself", all that happened was a blush colouring onto Josephine's cheeks.
I turned, my head might pop off If I continued t shake it anymore. Yet, when something like that was said, I should have been joining Varric on the floor. Instead, with my mind muddled, I exited the Tavern.
It was a cool night, the wind gently caressed my face, like a lover's hand. I sighed, it was a welcoming feeling. I lifted my head towards the sky, eyes closing, and just breathed for a moment. Was it really all over?
With one last sigh, I began walking toward the keep when a small realization hit me. All the nobles will be in the keep and I would have to talk to everyone of them before reaching my bed chambers. Which happened to be on the other side of the grand hall… I was going to have to talk to Josephine about that later.
So instead, I turned my journey towards one of the empty towers. With all that was going on, some of the renovations to Skyhold hadn't been completed yet. Just the ones that were necessary to improve the view of the inquisition. I couldn't really imagine Nobles taking a stroll on the battlements.
As I walked, the voices faded with every step I took and the light dimmed from behind me, until nothing was left around me except the castle walls and the stars. Within every step I took, however, I realized how different I was from everyone.
Not that I was mage. Not even that I was an elf. I could just sense that I was apart from everyone. Not in a way that set my higher… definitely not. I just was.
As the breeze rustled through my hair, my thoughts drifted along the wind. Not scattering but flowing through – like everything wasn't quite settled – just calm. I started almost reliving how my life turned. From stepping out of the Fade to finally killing the beast. But was the beast really dead?
He physically was, but his words always played through my brain. At the time, I could just tell myself he was evil – everything he said was to upset myself, the inquisition, or others around me. With him dead, I couldn't claim that anymore. There was no reason his words could still effect me this way.
Pretender.
I flinched at the memory.
"Everyone else is either in the Tavern, or the grand hall… Yet the leader of the Inquisition has found herself on the battlements looking like you're expecting evil to come at us at any second… Why is that?"
A pause… a shift. The voice sent chills up my spine… I knew if I turned that lopsided grin would be my undoing… Yet didn't I want to be undone? To feel normal? To feel something other than empty?
"Just wondering what will happen with the Inquisition now that Corypheus is dead".
I heard his footsteps come closer till he was standing directly beside me. I had yet to look at him but I felt the heat from his presence. The scent of sandalwood within the air.
"Isn't that something we are suppose to worry about after the celebration and the hangovers?"
"Will there be a need for the Inquisition now that our sole purpose has been accomplished?"
"Desideria…" I could feel the pause like a weight being placed upon my shoulders. Cullen was right, I should be celebrating with the rest of them. Not up here, morbid, and sour, trying to plan our next move. I should be partying, getting drunk… looking forward to the hangover because I could afford to. "The war between Templars and Mages is still rampant across Thedas… I believe the inquisition will still be needed. Don't lose hope after this major success".
His words offered little comfort. "The world will continue to turn, with or without us," I paused, "and I'm afraid that's up to Thedas… not us".
