Forewarning- if Kyos there, there will be bad language. Enjoy!


Kyo dragged a match along the rough wall, waiting waiting…

It caught suddenly and the tiny flame flickered mesmerizingly. Kyo watched it closely, watched as it consumed the pale wood of the match. He watched right until the flame had chased itself towards his hand and he felt the burning pain in his thumb, then he dropped the match. It was extinguished immediately, and lay blackened and useless in the dirt.

Kyo sighed. Mostly he was bored. He was so damn bored he could eat himself.

He kicked at a patch of dandelions struggling through a crack and watched the white wisps catch in the chill evening breeze and flutter weakly away.

He hated staying at the flat when he mother was out. It made him restless and anxious, waiting for her to return. At the flat there was only the shouting of the couple next door, the creaking of bedsprings from the flat above and the occasional yelling from the derelict yard below when a fight broke out. On the evenings he wasn't working at the docks Kyo often went for a walk. Because he couldn't bear waiting alone, couldn't focus on his homework, couldn't bear feeling so claustrophobic in the small rooms.

He wandered aimlessly now, but he knew the streets so well that it didn't matter where he went. He kicked at some small stones and watched them scatter satisfyingly. He reached into his back pocket and drew out one of the cigarettes the older men at work had given him. Well, it was something to do. He struck another match and lit the cigarette. This time he couldn't be bothered waiting for the match to burn out so he tossed it high into the air above him. He wondered if it would strike him on its fall to the earth but rather disappointingly it had extinguished itself before it reached him.

Kyo took a drag of the cigarette, inhaling deeply. He didn't really like smoking, but it wasn't unpleasant like it had been the first time he had tried it. He supposed in a way it was calming. And, it was something to do.

He vaguely registered the buildings emerging from the darkness in the orange glow of the streetlights and realised he was near to home. Whatever. He supposed he would go in and try some homework or clean the flat or try to sleep. Just something.

As he was crossing the street to his apartment building Kyo heard them. The bubble of voices, more brazen and slurred with the help of alcohol. He stopped for a moment. It was past midnight and he was cold in the thin t-shirt he wore. He didn't want trouble tonight. He would like to just go home now.

But then the group came into view and Kyo continued walking. He didn't back down, not ever. And they were between him and his home. They quickly spotted him, a lone figure walking at night, his shock of bright orange hair catching the dim light from the streetlights. There were hoots of delight as the group honed in on him. Kyo kept walking without hesitation. There were four of them tonight. Sometimes there were more, so he supposed tonight was his lucky night. A few of the group went to his school, a few were older and had already left. This group always seemed to be lurking in the streets and playgrounds in this area, and shortly after he had moved here with his mum they had very quickly discovered the enjoyment targeting Kyo could give them.

"Oh look what we have here", trilled the leader of the group, Shigure. He was a tall man several years older than Kyo. His younger cousin Masuyo was in the same year as Kyo at school and any incidents at school always resulted in more serious repercussions with Shigure on the streets. Not that Shigure ever got his hands dirty; he had others to do his dirty work for him.

Kyo hated this unfairness, when there were always, and would always be, more of these bastards than him on his own. From the martial arts training he had received from his mum's ex-boyfriend Kazuma he had learnt to respect a fair fight. But these guys… well they just didn't care. And Kyo was always on his own in these fights. Without friends… he was an outsider.

"It's this loser again. Out for a romantic walk under the stars. But… where's your date Kyo? It looks like you're all alone. Again." The others cackled at Shigure's awful jokes, despite them being much overused and stale.

"I'm just heading home. Look… I don't want any trouble guys." Kyo tried for peace despite knowing that it was useless with these guys. They laughed in response to his feeble attempt and Kyo felt goosebumps raise on his arms. But… he couldn't tell if he was scared or excited.

It wasn't like he went looking for these fights. But sometimes… on nights like this when everything was too still and he had way too much energy and no outlet… a fight could go down nicely…

"No guys guys, don't laugh" Shigure cautioned in mock seriousness. "Kyos probably already done the deed, ain't that right Kyo? Already wined and dined and… all the rest…" The others could barely contain their laughter as Shigure continued.

Kyo waited with teeth clenched. He knew what was coming. Shigure was a sleazy dog. He discreetly slipped a beaded bracelet from his wrist into the pocket of his jeans. From experience he knew it was safer there. Kyo wasn't one for sentiment, but that bracelet meant something to him. It meant a lot to him actually. It had been from the time when it seemed that his mother and Kazuma would get married. From the happy period in Kyo's childhood.

…He had nearly destroyed it when Kazuma had left. He had been so close. But in the end, he couldn't do it.

So he now hid the bracelet safely away and balanced on the balls of his feet. Ready…

"Though… wandering the streets like this, meeting charming girls… well…" Shigure took a deliberate step towards Kyo, an eyebrow raised suggestively. "You'd better be careful Kyo… you wouldn't want to pick up a whore… and discover it was your mother."

Kyo had launched across the gap between himself and Shigure in an instant. And it wasn't that he hadn't been able to control himself, or even that he was surprised by this action. Comments about his mother always cause his anger to flare like flames.

He landed one satisfying punch squarely on Shigure's cheek before anyone else could move. He kicked out to the side and sent one of the guys sprawling to the ground, but by then the others were on him. He managed a few more wild hits and kicks but their numbers soon overwhelmed him and he struggled against the sharp hold on his arms. A particularly nasty punch to the side of his head sent him reeling and he began to feel the first hints of fear. Just how far would these guys go?

"Stop." Shigure's voice came calmly through the chaos. "Let's not waste too much of our time on him."

He reached up to touch the side of his face which was inflamed where Kyo had hit him.

"Besides, I find it rather charming. Makes me wonder if his red-haired mother is as feisty as this… Maybe one day I'll get to find out…"

He grabbed a small handful of gritty mud and smeared it down Kyo's cheek. Kyo struggled to rise but he was still being held by one of the guys and his head was spinning.

"Pathetic" Shigure muttered, and they walked away chuckling lightly. Kyo was left crouching in the street.

Kyo closed his eyes and breathed deeply, trying to quell the anger and humiliation. He rose unsteadily and stumbled towards the stairwell of his apartment block. He used the railing for support until his hand met something sticky and he quickly let go in disgust. Empty bottles littered the corridor and clinked against each other as he staggered to his flat and let himself in. He carefully closed the door behind him and sank to the floor.

"Fuck" he muttered. "Fuck fuck FUCK!"

He closed his eyes again, attempting to calm himself. He should have killed Shigure for what he'd said about his mum. But there were too many of them, dogging him wherever he went, and he was all alone.

He dragged a chair to the small window and resolved to look out, both for approaching trouble and his mum returning. Now all he could do… was wait.

Kyo had dozed off against the wall by the time his mother returned home, his limbs curled up tightly on the chair like a cat. She smiled slightly at his sweetness in trying to wait up for her but felt an equal tinge of sadness. Then she noticed his obvious dishevelment; the blood on his chin, dirt on his face and grazes along his arms. She sighed. He was always getting into fights.

"Kyo?" she murmured gently, "Kyo."

Kyo blinked sleepily and smiled when he saw his mum. Stretching languidly he pushed a hand through his untidy hair, looking even more catlike.

He was pleased to see her. He could go to bed now.

"What happened to you?" his mum asked quietly.

"Oh… nothing? Just, you know…"

"I know Kyo," she sighed. She looked tired but went to the kitchen and soaked a cloth. She brought it to him and tenderly dabbed at the dried blood on his face.

"You don't have to do that mum, don't bother yourself. It's nothing really."

She continued to clean the blood then applied a small amount of cream which stung. Kyo had protested but really he didn't mind. He liked getting to spend any time with his mum.

"Are you ok? There's nothing hurt inside?"

"I'm fine mum."

She carefully stuck a plaster to a cut on his arm then she gathered the items and retuned them to the kitchen, yawning as she did so. She looked worn out, with her hair lank and her make up smudged. Kyo changed into a clean t-shirt for bed.

"How was work?" he asked quietly.

His mother's face seemed to still. "It was fine… you know. Just work."

Kyo regretted having mentioned it. His mother removed her jewellery and stepped into the bathroom to wash her face. When she returned she'd removed her dress and changed into worn pyjamas.

Seeking to distract her from his question Kyo rushed: "I finished all my homework. Well… not all but most. The stuff I didn't do was stupid anyway."

"Well done dear," his mother muttered distractedly as she nibbled on a piece of stale bread. "Thanks for cleaning the kitchen."

Kyo smiled, glad she had noticed. "Maybe I could show you my homework?" He sprang to his feet to retrieve it but his mother seemed not to have heard as she ran a hand tiredly through her long hair. Kyo went instead to take one of the blankets from her. As he did he noticed an angry red mark on her neck. It drew his eyes and he hated how ugly and possessive it looked on his mother's pale skin. He swiftly turned away, wishing he hadn't seen. He didn't mention his homework again.

Kyo made up his bed on the smaller couch as his mother turned off the light. "Are you warm enough?" his mother asked.

"Yeah. What about you? Do you want me to fix you some food?"

"No no," his mum dismissed him, "It's late. You should have been asleep ages ago, you've got school tomorrow."

Kyo frowned into his pillow, thinking of his classes tomorrow and wondering if there would be any trouble with Masuyo at school.

They lay in silence in the dark for some time. Kyo was used to sharing a room with his mother, he had done for several years now. He was used to the sounds of her breathing, her movements. His mother coughed wheezily into the silence and Kyo grimaced in worry.

"I love you" his mother's soft voice drifted to him through the night and a small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

"Love you too mum."

The restlessness and agitation had left Kyo. All his adrenaline and anger was spent. He quickly fell asleep.

.

.

The first fat droplets of rain made the final stage of their journey to earth and extinguished themselves on the grey pavement. They came slowly, unsurely, like the words passed between the two boys. Slow and tentative.

Yuki and Haru walked along the street, together, but with careful distance between them. They were cautious. Their words conveyed little, but their movements revealed much.

Haru looked sideways at the shorter boy. Yuki walked with his arms crossed across his chest, clutching an elbow in each hand as though this could hold together his whole chest. His sharp shoulders pinched upwards and inwards, like his body was punishing itself for taking up so much space.

He spoke softly, and so quietly that Haru had to strain to hear over the sounds of children playing nearby. He didn't say much either.

Haru filled in Yuki's silence with his energy and chatter. Yuki observed curiously how Haru seemed able to switch in an instant from a serious train of thought to a humorous one, like flicking a switch, or lifting a veil. He wondered sadly if either one of these shades was the true Hatsuharu.

When they reached the end of a street Haru paused, bouncing on the balls of his feet. His hand was still bleeding from his earlier outburst, and he touched it now, faintly self-consciously.

"Well this is me" he said, thrusting over his shoulder with his thumb at a winding street beyond.

Yuki nodded, silently.

The walk from the shed to here had been short, and neither of them had spoken of anything noteworthy. And yet... they had somehow shared everything. It was more of a… connection… than Yuki had known in… a long time. And he was miserable at the prospect of their parting.

He stayed silent for a long while and Haru nodded, as though he had expected this silence.

"Alrighty then. See ya!"

There was an undercurrent of melancholy and uncertainty to Haru's bravado. It was this, more than anything, which made Yuki act. As Haru made to turn away with a grimace Yuki took a step forward.

He licked his lips, trying to push the words upwards from where they had lodged in his throat. Haru paused, his head tilted to the side, patiently silent. Yuki struggled for a few more moments.

"I go on Sundays." He finally managed. "I go to the shed… on Sundays. Just… if…?" He chewed on his lower lip fretfully.

Haru smirked, and his eyes sparkled charmingly.

"Next Sunday, it's a date. Goodbye Yuki."

This more sincere parting allowed Yuki to breathe easier. At the same time he could hardly believe he had just invited someone to his private place. Would this impulsive invitation prove to be a huge mistake?

He turned and headed back to the home, as the rain began to hammer down in earnest.

.

Haru and Yuki met the following few Sundays.

The shed was just as it had always been, but now there was a burst of energy there. Energy Yuki wasn't exactly sure he wanted, but wasn't exactly sure he didn't want either.

They talked a lot on these Sundays, general discussions about what they did during the week, but nothing of any weight. With their words they were still cautious, as they had trained themselves to be. With their bodies however, they could hardly help but give away some of their stories.

Haru saw how Yuki was quiet and soft, timid and tired. He noticed that was kind and smart, but that he didn't seem immediately intelligent because he was so quiet. But most of all, he saw the sadness.

Yuki wore his sadness with him always. He carried it deep within him, so deep within his core it was as though it was woven into his bones. You could see it in his eyes and in the tired way he moved his back, as though he were weighted down by it. He was, in fact, tangled so tightly with this sadness that he would hardly know how to live without it.

There are however, many different ways to wear sadness. And, with difficulty, Yuki caught sight of Haru's. Haru's sadness was lightning fast, and nearly impossible to catch before he shook it off, unless you knew what you were looking for. Haru shook himself through countless emotions a day; anger, hurt, happiness, pain, humour… He never allowed one to settle for long, but he felt each one with a piercing clarity as it passed by him.

It was difficult to understand at first, how Haru could be pensive one moment and hyperactive the next. But Yuki began to understand. Haru didn't want to get stuck in a bad place, so something in him sent him rattling through feelings like they were accessories, always steering him away from the Sadness. It was, in many ways, an effective method. Yuki observed that Haru was intelligent and funny and bright, with an often dark sense of humour. But constantly flitting away from sadness is a tiring dance. And after three Sundays of near silent observation Yuki could see how frayed at the edges Haru was.

He wondered if one day Haru would feel comfortable enough to just… be… in front of him. To relax, to stop pretending and just… to be sad. And he wondered if he would, or could, ever be comfortable too. The thought of Haru judging him made Yuki instinctively hug his legs closer on the sagging couch, so tightly it hurt. He pressed his eyes together against the pain, and squeezed harder.

.

They weren't saying anything at all when they first saw the boy who wore his sadness like war paint.

They sat together, with the same careful distance between them, on a crumbling wall near the shed. In companionable silence they savoured the weak autumn sunlight. Haru was sipping on coffee from a Styrofoam cup. He drank a lot of coffee, Yuki noticed. Always the same cheap one from a grimy van a couple of streets away. The side of the cup was emblazoned with a print of Jesus' face and the words 'Have Faith'. Yuki watched as a droplet of coffee slid slowly down Jesus' cheek.

The peace of the afternoon was disturbed by what sounded like hissing. Simultaneously turning to the source of the noise, Haru and Yuki saw a boy stumbling along the street. He wove from side to side, grabbing leaves from hedges and shredding them as he walked so there was a winding green tail after him.

"Bastards" he hissed again.

When he saw them staring at him he smirked devilishly and sauntered over. With surprise Yuki saw a trail of vibrant red blood coming from the boy's ear. Combined with his bright orange hair this made the boy's skin look ghastly pale. Anxiety prickled all over Yuki's body; he hated confrontation and this boy reeked of it. But he didn't want to show this in front of Haru, who had carefully set down his coffee and sat back comfortably, waiting.

In one agile movement the boy had leapt onto the wall and tottered along it until he was standing over them, leering. This close they could smell the alcohol coming off him in nauseating waves.

"What… are you staring at?" the boy slurred down at them.

Yuki felt his back go rigid. His pulse jumped erratically in his neck. Haru's heart rate was increasing too, but his was in anticipation. He stood up slowly and faced the boy on the wall. Yuki looked up at them both. They were the same height, and though the boy's arms looked muscled Haru seemed to be the more impressive of the two, with his straight posture and quiet confidence.

"Well… I'm staring at you."

Yuki could hear the smile in Haru's voice and wondered if he wanted a fight today. The boy took a step closer so he was mere inches away from Haru's face.

"Stare away then. Go on. I dare you."

The stench of the boy's breath hit Haru directly and he swallowed uncomfortably.

"You stink" he declared, and Yuki could detect a true anger in his voice.

With both hands Haru gave the boy's chest a firm shove.

It would have been fine ordinarily, even with the small stumble the boy did, if the wall hadn't been so old. As it was he stepped sideways onto a patch of worn brick and plaster which crumbled under his foot. He fell to the ground with a surprised yelp and sat dazed on the dusty road.

"Fuck" he muttered to himself.

Haru and Yuki looked at each other in surprise. The boy held up a shaking hand which was grazed and coated in a light layer of dust, and choked out a laugh.

"Fuck. Whatever" he muttered again, and his voice broke desperately.

He rested his head in his hands, smearing dirt and blood into his bright hair as he did so. Now Yuki and Haru's gazes turned serious. This boy wasn't as old as he had first seemed, and his fierceness was chipping away like an old coat of paint. They both stood down from the wall and watched as the boy in the dirt shook his head back and forth, still clutched in his hand.

"We can't… we can't just leave him." Yuki said, though he would sorely have liked to.

"Hmm, can't we?" Haru inquired with a sceptical glance.

Yuki sighed. "I… don't think we should" he almost whispered.

Now Haru sighed. He would have just left the kid. But since he'd been hanging out with Yuki… well it seemed like they would have each other's backs. And if this was important to Yuki…

He groaned melodramatically. "Fine, I know you're right!" he declared, "The shed?"

Yuki nodded. They lifted the boy under his arms, one on either side. He struggled blearily.

"Hey stop that. It's your lucky day punk, Yuki doesn't want to let the cops find you like this." The boy stopped struggling so much.

"Hey grab my coffee, I'm not wasting anything I paid for." Yuki smiled slightly as he scooped up Haru's cup.

They staggered inside the shed with difficulty and deposited the boy unceremoniously onto the couch. Haru sat down on the arm of the couch and the boy edged away, watching warily.

"Hey don't flatter yourself, I'm not interested." Haru laughed and accepted his coffee from Yuki.

"It's just…" Haru turned a shade more serious, "Whoever did this to you…" he indicated Kyo's bleeding face, "Well… you're not in a fit state to be meeting them again. And that's not really fair so…" he tailed off and shrugged.

The boy seemed to soften at these words. He settled back blearily against the couch.

"S'just that bastard Shigure… he found out where I work so that's… that's…that's really not going to be fun." He laughed again, but very gently, and very sadly. "Doesn't matter anyway… I could take him any day. Yeah any day. But… so many…"

His head lolled sideways against the couch and he blinked slowly.

"What's your name?" Yuki asked quietly. The boy opened one eye and stared up at Yuki for a moment.

"Kyo" he murmured. Yuki nodded.

Kyo let his eyes drift closed again. "Lovely place you have... g'night stranger one and… and… stranger two..."

He drifted gently into a quiet sleep, slumped sideways in the sagging couch.

Haru and Yuki's eyes met over his sleeping form. Haru downed the rest of his cold coffee and dropped the cup to the floor.

"Well that was quite something." Yuki nodded in agreement.

"He's not coming back here." It was a statement but also a question.

"No," Yuki confirmed, "He's not invited." This boy was so muddled up, there could be no peace with him near.

Suddenly Haru was deeply serious. "I won't have alcohol in here. As long as I'm here I don't want that."

Yuki looked into those dark, guarded eyes. He didn't ask why. He understood better than to ask.

"No," he confirmed once again. "Kyo won't be back here."

Between them Kyo slept, curled up and peaceful as he never was in wakefulness, with the shield of his anger dissolved.

He had a bizarre dream of a cow, a rat and a cat playing in a field together. And it felt like… what he imagined friendship would feel like. He wouldn't remember the dream when he woke up, but he smiled while he slept.

Whether Haru and Yuki wanted it or not, Kyo would be returning to the shed.

.


Thanks for reading, and for waiting for this update. I had a great time on holiday so now I'm happy to be back to this.