After everything that happened he truly couldn't find it in himself to eat. He took his time getting ready. When he got to the great hall only a few people remained. Hermione was probably already in class, seeing as it was starting in ten minutes, while Ron and his siblings were gone. It seemed that no rumour had yet to spread about where they were.

Harry glanced up to see that Snape was still at the table too, most other teachers gone, only Dumbledore remaining but while Snape's eyes flickered in his direction when he came in Dumbledore didn't look in his direction once.

Harry went to sit down. He was too tired to pretend everything was rainbows and unicorns. He gathered some plain porridge and added maple syrup and ate the few little bites he could manage before it was time to go to class.

He barely arrived on time but Snape took little note of him. He snuck in to stand by Neville who was unpaired. Hermione was with Pavarti and leaned over.

"Where were you? Where's Ron?" She whispered.

"Silence." Snape called out. Harry turned back to the front. He would tell her later. Snape proceeded to explain the potion of the day.

"You ok Harry? You look dreadful." Neville whispered.

"I'm fine Neville." Though a glance to his potion knife narrowly showed the bags under his eyes.

"Mister Potter, what syllable of the word 'silence' confused you?" Snape demanded. Harry looked up and resisted the urge to roll his eyes at him. "Ten points from Gryffindor."

Harry waited until Snape looked away before he shook his head. He decided to simply concentrate on the potion and get it done. Neville spent a good deal of the day apologising for getting him in trouble.

"For the last time Neville, it's ok." Harry said but the words only seemed to sink in by the time Harry finished his last lesson.

"Harry. What happened last night?" Hermione asked him after they were finally left a moment alone. She led him around the cloister to sit on a stone chair on the corridor. He knew he had to keep it short since she had another lesson in a few hours.

"I had a dream. About Ron's dad." He said. Her eyes widened slightly. "Ron and professor McGonagall took me to Dumbledore and Ron's dad was found injured like in my dream…" He mumbled. "Ron's in the hospital with his brothers and Ginny."

"Oh Harry… that… It must have been hard to see that. You ok?" She asked. Harry nodded.

"I'm fine… anyway, I just hope Mr. Weasley is alright." He said. "Christmas break is just a week away. I think Dumbledore mentioned something that they could spend it with their family before they left." Harry said. It was a blur. He must have been in some state of shock.

"I'll write to him then… I have to get to class. You're ok? You look awful Harry. Did you sleep at all last night?" She asked already getting up. "You should try and catch some sleep. I'll see you after class." And she was off. Harry smiled faintly and sighed closing his eyes once he was left alone. He couldn't go to sleep even if he wanted to. Especially with the wonderful session he had at four. He cringed. He could only imagine that it was another Occlumency lesson.

However, an hour later, he was outside the potions master's office and knocked awkwardly. The potions classroom was empty though and one lone cauldron bubbled on Snape's desk. Didn't professor Snape teach Thursdays afternoons? He did when Harry was a first year, why did fate have to be so cruel to him all the time?

"Come in." He walked in to see Snape reading a scroll in his chair. He closed the door behind him and stood awkwardly by the door. "Do you plan to stand there for the whole two hours?" Snape asked without looking up.

"I am quite comfortable here." He smartly replied.

"Sit." Snape said dismissively and kept reading the old scroll. Harry was tempted to just wait out the two hours rooted to the door but he was tired and the chair looked quite welcoming at the moment. He put down his book bag and sat, fidgeting, wondering what the hell the other would ask him. However as the minutes passed, Snape kept reading and pointedly ignoring him.

"Professor? Am I supposed to do anything?" Harry asked.

"Is there anything in particular you'd like to do?" He asked blandly, still not looking up.

"I dunno." He shrugged. "Aren't you supposed to ask me questions?"

"Is there anything you'd like to tell me, Potter?"

"…no." he shrugged looking out the narrow little window behind Snape's desk. A few more minutes passed and Harry felt his stomach rumble. He blushed slightly hoping the other hadn't heard or would ignore it.

"Have you decided to starve yourself?" Snape asked casually.

"I'm not hungry today." Harry shrugged. His stomach rumbled again and Snape looked at him then, an annoyed look in his face. "Well I wasn't hungry before!" He defended himself. Snape rolled his eyes and put his scroll down, mumbling something about idiotic Gryffindors as he called a house-elf.

"Get this idiotic boy something to eat." He ordered the house-elf. The house-elf's eyes widened slightly as he saw Harry and with a bit too much eagerness, popped away, appearing a few minutes later with a tray of sandwiches and pumpkin juice.

"Thanks." Harry told the house-elf who gasped gently and popped away. Harry glanced at Snape who was already reading his scroll again. Harry fidgeted a bit before grabbing a couple of salami sandwiches and digging in.

Although he was full by the time he finished, a few sandwiches being left on the tray, he had only killed about fifteen minutes. Still the silence slowly became less awkward as he sipped on the pumpkin juice. It gave him time to think, about why he was here.

"I know… I know this is a waste of time. I should be learning how to defeat Voldemort… not bothering people with a pointless sob story." Harry mumbled. Snape glanced at him briefly.

"How valiant." The sarcasm dripped from every syllable.

"Why can't I join the Order?" Harry asked.

"Because you're only fifteen." Snape replied simply.

"Not 'only'! I'm already fifteen!" Harry argued.

"You are a child. An ignorant little child. Slightly more aware of what's out there but don't fool yourself into thinking you know everything." Snape said. Harry groaned, frustration settling in.

"Voldemo-"

"Do not speak his name!"

"Whatever! He's trying to kill me! Excuse me for wanting to be prepared when he tries to get to me. Or when he tries to get to me through my friends!"

"The dark lord has bigger goals than you."

"How would you know?" There was a pause. "He's already started. He attacked Ron's dad. He was in that room… with the dark door." Snape clenched his jaw.

"You foolish boy. You need to occlude! He's trying to draw you out. Don't be fooled."

"I don't know how to clear my mind!" At that Snape opened a drawer and started scribbling on a piece of parchment. Harry frowned when the other passed it to him. "A… library pass?"

"To the forbidden section. There's a book on Occlumency there. Do not take your friends. Remember, this should remain a secret." He said. Harry sat down and huffed.

"Great… more homework."

"Shocking the effort some of us need to put in order to obtain knowledge." Snape mumbled grabbing the scroll. "Don't make the assumption that your change in subject went unnoticed." The small victory Harry felt vanished.

"I'm not a child. I never was."

"Dramatic."

"Why do you always have to do that? If you want me to talk don't just be all sarcastic when I do." Harry snapped annoyed.

"My lack of empathetic skills must truly come as a shock to you." He replied without looking up. Harry felt the corner of his lips twitching but reminded himself that the other was still a bastard. A couple of minutes passed and he looked down.

"…I was so desperate to leave the Dursleys when Hagrid showed up… I would have gone with Voldemort himself if he had been the one to come for me." Harry said softly.

"I'd imagine anyone would, living with Pe-those muggles for fifteen years." Snape said.

"Now I have Sirius though… but no one will believe me that Vold- the dark lord is back so he can't get a trial to prove his innocence." He mumbled. Snape sneered. "You really don't like him do you? Well, you really don't like me so Sirius and I must have a lot in common." Harry shrugged.

"Lucky me, now you won't shut up." Harry smiled and chuckled softly. He quickly drank more pumpkin juice to hide the fact that Snape had managed to make him laugh.

"Am I weak? I'm a wizard… I shouldn't have fallen for Mr. Emwood's tricks." Harry said finally.

"After melting a professor, killing a basilisk, outrunning a werewolf, banishing a hundred dementors, stealing a dragon's egg and facing the dark lord himself I have to wonder on your definition of 'weakness', Potter."

Harry rolled his eyes and leaned back on the chair. "I don't want to talk about this. There's more important things to be worrying about right now. If only I knew what they were." Harry said.

"If only."

"All those things you said, it was all luck you know."

"I never doubted it for one moment."

Harry sighed and shook his head. He remained quiet for the remaining half hour. Strangely enough, that night he managed to fall asleep without a problem and slept through the night without so much as a nightmare.