Oh my gosh! This chapter was so difficult to write! I apologize for the long wait. I struggled to make it how I envisioned it. Hopefully, I did a good job. Let me know what you think! Comments, rates, advice, anything is accepted, but let's be honest... don't be an asshole. Criticism can be said politely. Thanks! Enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin! But I do own any and all of my own creations and adaptations in this story! Enjoy!

Chapter 11

(Inari POV)

I will never get over the breath-taking views of the surface. The military training camp was holed up in a desert canyon, so I couldn't really appreciate the sunshine and scenery. The sun only cooked your skin and soaked your clothing with sweat, and there was little to no vegetation, not counting the small patch of forest used for 3D maneuvering practice. Although, with Commander Shadis barking orders, no one could really take a moment to look around.

We had been travelling via horses and wagons. The Choosing Ceremony wasn't filled with any real surprises, except for when Petra chose the Survey Corp. Shepp followed me, despite our fight. Kitty chose the Military Police as she had worked so hard for. Our friendship was on the back burner for now, considering what went down. I don't blame her. I just hope she realizes that Shepp is the one that deserves all the wounded, angered looks. Sure he got them too, but I was roped into getting her scary looks because Shepp can't get the hint that I'm not interested. I've been avoiding him at all costs.

The wagons came to a halt in front of a large castle manor, Survey Corp soldiers milling around, going about their duties. I scanned my eyes over the scenery before me. The sun was beginning to set, tinting the sky with its rosy, golden hues. In front of the manor was a large, expansive training field that had yet to be cleared of the tall, overgrown grass, and underbrush. To the side of the manor, a bit of a ways away, was a dense forest that stretched across the land. The stables were nestled close to the manor; we led our horses there, untacked them, and gave them to the stable boy to take to their stalls.

I slung my pack over my shoulder, its weight feeling good on my back, and followed the rest of the new soldiers to the front of the manor where three higher-ups stood firmly, eyes assessing us. Commander Erwin stood ahead of Corporal Hanji and Corporal Levi, hands clasped behind his back, his face void of all friendliness. Corporal Levi shared the same stern expression, though a hint of judgement stirred in his hard set gaze. Hanji was the opposite of the men. She had wide, bright eyes behind her glasses and a welcoming grin. She rocked on her feet, humming faintly. To anyone that had never met Hanji, would think her pleasant and warm, but to those familiar with this impressive woman, all knew she had plenty of screws lose, and many reasons to be cautious around her.

Petra and I ventured to the front of group, keeping our distance from Shepp. Petra understood my predicament, often aiding me as well. She had tried her best to coax Kitty into an understanding of what really happened, but it was all for not. Shepp had caused too great a rift in our band of friends. I wish I could throttle him and send him packing to the Military Police, but such matters were out of my hands.

Sensing my worry, Petra took my hand in hers and gave it a reassuring squeeze. I gave her a meek smile and looked back the commander, who was about to speak.

Erwin cleared his throat and addressed us, "Good Evening! Your lives as newly instated soldiers starts right now. You all must be tired from your travels, but the matter of room assignments depends on your placement in a squad, platoon, or reinforcements. Such decisions have already been decided before your arrival, based upon your scores as cadets and where your skills would serve best. If sorted into a squad, you will receive a private room of your own. If sorted into a platoon, you will share a room with one other soldier of the same gender. If sorted into reinforcements, you will room in groups of five. Once I dismiss you here, you are to place your packs in the entryway and head to the dining hall for dinner. You will receive your placement during dinner. It is up to your new leader as to where you will stay," he looks at us for a moment then salutes, "Dismissed!"

We all shout, "Yes, sir!" and salute him in return.

Petra and I lay our bags down and follow the smell of pork until we come to the dining hall. Chatter fills the air, along with the nice aroma of tender meat and fresh veggies. I nearly salivate at the thought of a hardy meal. We giggle at each other and scurry over to the buffet line. We greedily fill our plates with roasted pork, corn, sea-salted potatoes, steamed carrots, and a bread roll. I smother my pork and potatoes with gravy and grab a tall glass of milk. We find a spot in the middle of the hall at a large table filled with other new soldiers like us. My eyes glance down the table and spot Shepp at the far end. Good. At least he knows when he's not wanted around. A nudge to my shoulder pulls my gaze away and to the conversation at hand.

"Well, we finally made it! Not that putting your life on the line outside the walls is something to celebrate, but we survived Shadis' grueling training," Petra chirps, earning a round of nods and words of agreement from the others near us. "That reminds me, isn't your sister in the Survey Corp?"

I feel a rush of excitement flood my blood stream and I nearly jump out of my seat. "Yes, Isabel is. I've been so overwhelmed with, well, you know who, that I almost forgot. I'm going to go look for her," the words rush out of me. I quickly finish my meal, wipe my mouth with a napkin, and begin to stand. Then, I feel a hand on my shoulder. I hold my breath. Did she find me? I whip around, ready to face Isabel, after so long of being apart from her. Only, I'm met with steel-grey eyes, instead of Isabel's brilliant green.

"Inari," Levi says, my name rolling off his tongue, his hand still resting on my shoulder.

"Yes, Corporal Levi?" I ask, itching to run away to find Isabel.

"I see you made it here," he glances around me, to Petra, "and you as well Miss Ral. You two will be joining my squad. Petra, see Erwin for your room assignment, I need to speak with Inari."

I can't take it anymore. "Can this possibly wait? I really need to find someone."

What comes out of Levi's mouth next surprises me. "I am well aware of that. Now, come with me," he says sternly, then turns to leave. I look back to a shocked Petra, then go to follow him.

….

(Levi's POV)

I need to get her far from the others if I am to shatter her. I think it's best to cushion the blow in some way. Luckily, I have something in mind, but such a thing as this can't possibly fill the hole I'm about to blow in her heart. I hear her treading feet behind me. I exit the dining hall and make my way to the right wing of the manor. Me and my squad will be staying on the third floor, the top floor of this castle manor. At the end of the right wing hall, after passing many doors, I open a metal door, revealing to a winding staircase. I begin my ascent, my feet thudding on the steps. Inari's footfalls soon follow, along with the close of the metal door. After some climbing, we make it to the third floor's metal door. I open it and enter the awaiting hallway, Inari right behind me. My office with adjoining bedroom lies exactly to my right. I pass my door and go to the one after it.

I stand in front of it for a moment, looking intently at its wooden surface. I haven't entered this room in a long time and I dread stepping through its archway again. I grip the black iron handle, feeling the metal cool my sweating palms. Nothing ever unnerves, but this seems to set my nerves a flame with dread, sorrow, and all the anger I was forced to shut away at the back of my mind the day I pledged to Erwin.

I hear movement behind, and clear my head of the ghosts of my past. I take in a deep breath and open the door.

"Inside," I rasp.

Inari gives me a concerned look, but does as I say. I follow her inside, turn on the overhead light, and shut the door, silently locking it. Inari is oblivious of this, thankfully. Then, I take in the room in front of me, a cold ache weighing heavily on my shoulders.

A double bed juts out against the wall perpendicular from the door. A nice, baby blue, down comforter and two, puffed up, white pillows dress the bed. The walls are painted white and there's a big window on the far wall, sheer curtains drawn back, showing the last rays of sun, before night consumes the land. A single nightstand sits next to the bed, a lamp perched on the surface. A single wardrobe stands opposite the bed, tucked in the corner, and beside it a bare desk. A large, blue, patterned area rug lies on the floor, covering most of the wooden floor. In the corner is a full length mirror, along with a door to her private bathroom.

Inari's shuffling breaks me from my thoughts.

"Inari, this will be your room," I say in a hushed tone.

"It's quite lovely, thank you very much. Now you say you know I'm looking for someone, so you must know my sister Isabel. Where is her room?" She says giddily.

I gulp and speak once more, "This is it."

"Oh? We're sharing a room? I can't wait to surprise her! Her face will li- "

I cut her off, not able to bear the dread any longer, "Inari… this, this was Isabel's room."

She looks at me like I grew a second head. "Was? Did she get stationed elsewhere?" she stutters.

I close the distance between us, reach into my jacket pocket and pull out a necklace, a silver sparrow on a silver chain. I hold it up to her, my hand shaking. A sharp gasp leaves her lips and her smile is gone.

"Isabel died in the line of duty outside the wall on an expedition," I whisper, hating every word that fell from my lips.

A tortured cry crawls out of Inari's throat. I quickly grab her, holding her steady, before she collapsed to the floor. I feel her body shake and tremble as each and every cry escapes her.

I am not new to death, having dealt with it all my life. Every soldier lost is for humanity's survival, so I keep my head held high for them. But for someone so close to me, like Isabel and Farlan, grief digs its nails into me. Their passing had unleashed a monster I had long buried inside me. It was thanks to Erwin that I could reel it in, but here, now, Inari has no one. I have since left that sad day behind me, but for Inari it has crashed upon her.

Her wails fill the room and I hold her tighter. I slowly bring us to the floor, nearly cradling her. I won't let her go through this alone. Feeling the grief claw into me again, a tear slides down my cheek. Just this once, I'll let my cold shell fall.

"I knew your sister. I, too, am from the Underground. It's my fault she and Farlan were roped into the Survey Corp. And it's my fault she is gone, Farlan too."

She stirs in my arms and speaks, her words slightly garbled whimpers, "What do you mean?"

"Isabel, Farlan, and I were a group of bandits in the Underground. We ran into trouble with the military and Erwin took us in to pay for our crimes by joining the Survey Corp. I was the leader of our group. It's my fault. I had no idea she had a sister. I wouldn't have let her join us if she did," my voice wobbles.

"She wanted to keep me safe. I understand that, but why are you at fault for her death?" Inari cries, and grips my jacket.

"We were promised freedom from the Underground by a noble if we killed a certain Commander. Turns out it was Erwin who we had to kill. We thought that we could still obtain freedom even though we had to serve our time in the military. On one expedition, I got reckless and strayed from Isabel and Farlan, to go after Erwin. Unable to find him, I went to return to my comrades," I choke back my anger, "only a group of titans had gotten them first. I should've been there to protect them." I unconsciously hold Inari tighter, feeling as if she alone could help push away my guilt.

"Titans killed her. The titans… are they still out there?" I feel her body go ridged, feeling the anger build inside her bones.

"No, I sliced them to bits." I say, finally pulling us apart. I get a good look at Inari. Her ponytail is disheveled. Her eyes are red and puffy, still wet with tears. Her body looks so fragile, as if the wind could turn her to dust.

"I managed to find this among the… uh, I remember she never took it off. I assume now, that it was a gift from you," I say, my voice all raspy. I put the necklace in her trembling hands. I then notice the silver chain around her neck. Without realizing it, I reach out and let my fingers trace the chain, slipping it from under her shirt. True enough, it is the same as Isabel's. She reaches up and touches the sparrow pendant. I let my hand fall to my lap and shakily stand to my feet. I help Inari to a stand and have her sit on the bed, knowing she won't be able to stand for long.

She continued to cry into the pillows and I simply sat beside her, rubbing circles on her back. It was well into the night when a choked silence permeated the air. Her eyes had run dry, simply out of lack of tears. We had sat there for a long while before I decided she needed time alone. The bed creaked when I stood and trudged to the door.

I turned to look at her again. She was curled into a ball on the bed, hugging the pillows close. Her body faced mine so I could see her sorrow-filled face.

"Take the time you need. You have your own bathroom there," I say pointing to a door in the corner," If you need anything, just bang on the wall; my room is right next door. Get some rest."

"How did you get through this?" She whispers.

"What I did nearly destroyed my sanity and harmed those around me. So I don't know what to tell you. I'll tell it to you true. It doesn't get better. Losing someone tears into you. All I can say is that it gets easier," I then grip the handle, ready to leave.

"Thank you, Corporal. It was better to hear it from you."

"Call me Levi, but not in the company of those outside the Survey Corp. We are from the same roots, raised for survival, and trained to kill, so we are equals in that way. I am still your corporal though, so orders are orders. I know your pain, but I tell you this," I look her right in the eyes, "do not let your demons sink their claws into you."

A flick of recognition passes through her eyes and it is then that I know that they already have. I leave her room and for safe measure, lock the door once more.