Chapter 94) Fall


Laughter caught my ear, and I glanced up tentatively, wondering what was going on. I was in the palace, running an errand, and desperately trying to not get caught. There was a noble in residence that had a taste for young elf boys, and I might be young 'enough' for him if he caught me.

But still, the laughter was warm, so I found myself following the sound. I was startled to see it was King Maric and Teryn Loghain, laughing hard enough to cry.

"Maker, the poor girl was just so horrified!" King Maric managed through the guffawing. Neither of them could stand because they were laughing so much. "What else was I supposed to do?"

"Did you have to deadpan that you preferred red shirts to white?" Teyrn Loghain replied. "It's not even red! It was more of a maroon stain, thanks to the wine!"

"First thing I thought of, but Maker, the looks on everyone's faces!"

I slipped away then, feeling a little happier about the world. I wondered if I would have friendships like that. That might be nice.


It was amazing how quiet things were in the morning. There was not one bit of strangeness, not one assassination attempt. We just, simply, got dressed, polished our weapons and armor before putting them on, did final checks on silly things like hair and make-up, and then… we headed for the Landsmeet.

We lingered outside the main door, and I knew the reason why. Lady Elspeth was taking that extra second to gather her courage. We didn't mind the wait, of course. It gave us extra chances to triple check who was going to be signing for Cleon so he could keep up: Morrigan.

Finally, though, Lady Elspeth glanced at us worriedly, uncertain she could do this. But I think even Shale managed a smile for her, so her gaze hardened and she looked back to the door. Then, with one final breath for courage, she pushed it open and we walked inside the main hall, already teeming with nobles.

"My lords and ladies of the Landsmeet!" Arl Eamon boomed as we walked in. It wasn't a coincidence. This was set up in advance. It was to start everyone off-balanced, by hiding our arrival. From there, it would be easy to pick up the momentum. "Teyrn Loghain would have us give up our freedoms, our traditions, out of paranoia!" He gestured grandly, taking advantage of being on the second floor of the room to hold everyone's attention. "He places us on this destructive path, yet we should place our destiny in his hands?" He scoffed. "Must we sacrifice everything good about our nation to save it?" There were cheers as Eamon stepped back, a clear sign that his words struck a chord.

"A fine performance, Eamon." However, this was a debate. There were rebuttals. Loghain, on the floor, had to argue in his defense. No one else would. "But I won't be taken in by it," he replied, standing tall. I saw the people clear the area, recognizing that the 'main show' of the debate was about to begin. "You would put a puppet on the throne and every soul here knows it." That was why Fergus was chosen to be Alistair's champion at the balls, not Eamon. Fergus would not seem quite as power-hungry. "The better question is, of course, who will pull the strings? It's clear to anyone who the real power behind your campaign is."

"Loghain, such barbed words are unsuited to simple discussion," Lady Elspeth chided, stepping forward. The crowd instantly whispered excitedly. This was the first time Lady Elspeth had ever openly spoken in a Landsmeet, and the nobles held their breath in anticipation. She made a good impression at the balls, and she made a better one now, armored and armed with bow and sword. A bow Loghain had given her, and Maric's own sword, at that. "I am your opponent, Loghain." She stopped at the 'proper' distance, and held her head up high. I saw her glance to the side nervously, though, and I caught her eye to smile reassuringly. "You may begin when ready." That was a show of confidence. She was confident that she could find a rebuttal to anything Loghain started with, and so she gave him the first 'move'. White to her black, when she already had the path to 'checkmate' in her head.

"Well, then tell us, Elspeth," Loghain began. I could see his hands shake, though, as he walked, talking as much with his hands as his voice. "How will the Orlesians take our nation from us again?" This again?! "Will the deign to send their troops or simply issue their commands through this would-be prince?"

"Loghain, you are aware that Fereldan is no longer a barely held together country of squabbling chieftains that originally fell to Orlais's troops over a century ago, yes?" Lady Elspeth remained calm and poised, simply shaking her head. "That is, of course, ignoring how no one but a mad fool would want the tainted ruin that will be left of Fereldan once the darkspawn are through with it." Anger bled into her words, and her eyes hardened. "Orlais has no bearing on this. Your paranoia has led to you wasting time and resources on a non-existent threat while the real one grows even stronger. The Blight is the threat here."

"There are enough refugees in my bannorn now to make that abundantly clear," someone commented. I recognized her as Alfstana, Bann of the Waking Sea. She looked annoyed. "I petitioned thrice for help with them, but received nothing but silence."

"Silence is all I heard, when I begged for help while the West Hills burned," another added. Arl Wulff, a well respected man. Rumors said he lost his children, and almost lost his grandchild, because of the Blight. "The South is lost; Lothering is ruined." He shook his head. "Will you let the darkspawn take the whole country for fear of Orlais?"

"The Blight is indeed real, Wulff, contrary to my initial impressions," Loghain replied. He looked mournful, but I wasn't sure if it was 'real' or not. "But do we need the Grey Wardens to fight it?"

"Historical records confirm that is, indeed, the case," Lady Elspeth replied. This time, she openly glanced at me, and I nodded. I knew what this part was. This was us 'revealing' a secret. "The Archdemon has a regenerative ability that allows it to come back from the dead. Through the power of the Joining, Wardens gain the ability to stop it." Somehow. This was all really confusing. And I didn't like the implication that one of us would have to die for it. "If it was as simple as shoving a sword through its head, then the first Blight, the only one that was initially fought without Wardens, would not have lasted as long."

"That does not change the spectacular failure at Ostagar." He seriously brought that up? "Asking to bring four legions of chevaliers with them."

"Yes, I suppose with so many, it might have been enough to send Cailan a messenger to tell him the plan was a failure." Lady Elspeth sighed. "Loghain, for all your pragmatism, I would not expect to have to remind you to attend to reality. But perhaps it is easier for you to make certain decisions in your delusion of a world." Her eyes narrowed. "Like say, for instance, selling the elves of the Alienage to Tevinter?"

The effect was instantaneous: roars of disapproval. Fereldan might not care about elves normally. Fereldan might ignore what happens to them. But the second anyone brought up the possibility of slavery, even if it was of elves, they rioted. Slavery betrayed everything they held sacred in the country.

It was enough to make me smile bitterly.

"There is no saving the Alienage," Loghain tried to defend. His wide eyes screamed that he never expected anyone to find out. "Damage from the riots has yet to be-"

"Purge," Lady Elspeth cut off. Her tone was harsh, bitter. "Call it what it is. Howe led a purge in the Alienage, slaughtering anyone the soldiers came across. An entire orphanage was put to the sword, and it was set on fire to ensure no survivors." Her hands balled into fists. "That we live in a country that such a thing can be suggested, that such a thing could go unnoticed is a failing on many parts. Maric, my father, you… we failed the elves, and that you thought you could sell them without anyone noticing, that you did sell them without anyone noticing, is the accumulation of those failures." Thank you.

"I simply did what was good for Fereldan."

"Thank you, kindly, for proving my point, as that statement implies that the elves are not Fereldan!" She was actually yelling now. "But since we are on your 'duty', why is it, then that you interfered with another's, a templar's?" Everything stilled. "Why is it that you captured a templar, freed a malificarum in his custody, and then trick that poor mage into poisoning Eamon? The dead were walking in Redcliffe because of this!" Of course, that was because Isolde hid her son's magic, but no one needed to know that yet.

"Preposterous." Loghain was doing his best to seem nonchalant, but I saw how fast he paled. "I would use my own soldiers for such a task. I would not trust the discretion of an apostate."

"How very peculiar," Alfstanna drawled. She leaned against the railing, looking quite smug suddenly. "My brother tells a very different tale, once he recovered enough from sitting in the dungeons of the Denerim estate."

"While we are on the dungeons, I wish to ask another question about your duty," Lady Elspeth declared. She was in command, and the whole room knew it. They knew it by her fierce tone and almost regal bearing. I exchanged smiles with the others; Leliana looked particularly proud. "In those dungeons, there were countless men, women, and children being held hostage, and forced to endure torture for nothing more than a twisted man's sick pleasures."

"The Cousland estate is filled with the survivors," Fergus added. His eyes were closed, as if he were forcing back tears. "Some of the children were younger than Oren, and scream if you so much as move too fast."

"My own son was among them!" another cried. Bann Sighard of Dragon's Peak. His eyes were furious. "He will never walk again after spending so much time on the rack!" The mood of the room was fury. Righteous fury, fanned by a single person after days of information gathering. This was what our efforts earned. All of this, for this moment.

"Do not think the Chantry will overlook this, Teryn Loghain!" the Grand Cleric, traditionally silent during the Landsmeet unless specifically spoken to, hissed as she stood from her chair. "Torture is an offense against humanity, and interfering with a templar's sacred duty is an offense against the Maker." Snickering caught my ear, and I turned to see Shale and Oghren were fighting back laughter. Even Sten had cracked a smile. This was great. This was the best.

"Whatever I have done, I will answer for later," Loghain whispered. He looked Lady Elspeth full in the face, though. "As for the moment, I wish to know what has been done with my daughter."

"Anora?" Lady Elspeth replied. She smiled sweetly, and the look on Loghain's face screamed that he knew he had walking into a trap. "Anora, are you sufficiently recovered from your ordeal to speak for yourself?"

"Yes, I am." It felt like the whole room gasped as Anora stepped into the room, walking slowly as if she were injured. This was something the two of them had concocted. Something about 'vulnerability winning people over'. Honestly, both of them terrified me. "Though, if you do not mind…" she whispered. Lady Elspeth immediately went to her side, and helped her the last few steps into the room proper. "As always, you are too kind."

"It is simple courtesy." Lady Elspeth stepped back, smiling warmly. "Shall I, or…?"

"No, I can keep going." Anora smiled back before focusing on the gathered nobles, who now held their breath. "Lords and Ladies of the Landsmeet, my father is no longer the man you know. He is no longer the Hero of the River Dane, but a man twisted by fear and hatred." Her eyes filled up with tears, and I almost wanted to applaud her for being a good actress. "This man turned aside, and did not protect your king, my husband, his best friend's son." Her voice cracked. "This man seized Cailan's throne, before his body was cold, through my name, and had me locked away so I could not reveal his treachery." She shook her head. "If Nuada and Commander Tabris had not answered my call for help, I might have been killed, or worse, at the hands of Howe!"

"What a performance," I murmured as the crowd growled in anger at what could have happened. I couldn't help it. "She turned on her father for protection?"

"She turned on him because she has realized her father is a detriment to Fereldan," Lord Nuada corrected. He was frowning slightly. "Look, I might have difficulties trusting the people of my past, but that's a problem with me, due to Howe. She's beloved, and there is a reason for it."

"…That is true. I had forgotten." Indeed, my issues were mainly personal. I felt she did not do enough for the elves, and I felt her too similar to Loghain, who I could not bring myself to trust. "She loves Fereldan."

"Yes, and honestly, I think her main issue with Alistair is that, unlike her, he's really not trained."

"She worries he will run the country into the ground." Prideful, she was. Overestimated her abilities, possibly. But she was loyal. No one in the world could deny that. She was loyal to her country, and the tears might not actually be faked. They might be real, as she loved her father, but felt he had to turn on him to protect her country. "Ah, is the vote…"

"Yes, it's starting."

It was hard to hold back a grin when the very first thing heard was, "South Reach stands with Lady Elspeth!"

"Lady Elspeth and her associates helped me when Howe's soldiers kidnapped my son. Wolf's Claw stands with them."

"Waking Sea supports Lady Elspeth!"

"Dragon's Peak supports Lady Elspeth!"

"The West Hills, or what's left, throw their lot in with Lady Elspeth, Maker help us."

"Redcliffe stands with Lady Elspeth!"

"Highever stands with Elspeth and Anora."

On, and on they voted. A few sided with Loghain. It was to be expected. But I watched the Grand Cleric tally the votes, and it was clear from the start who would win. Overwhelmingly, Lady Elspeth won, and with it, Loghain was deposed and, theoretically, we had our armies.

But Lord Nuada tensed next to me, and I remembered there was another part to dealing with Loghain. One that we had known from the start. Loghain's angry rant, of which I barely caught half of, proved that.

"Loghain, you are called to lay down your arms peacefully," Lady Elspeth murmured, a calm counterpoint that I could actually understand. "But if you will not, then I propose a duel, as per Landsmeet tradition. Do you accept?" Thoroughly confused, Loghain could only nod. "Very well." She took a step back, and curtseyed. "Then, it is time for me to leave the stage." She turned away, walking towards the group, and Lord Nuada moved, walking towards Loghain. "You're it, my twin." They passed each other, and I could hear the crowd murmur. I had a good idea why. In all the years of gossip I could remember, not once did I remember anything like Lord Nuada publically showing his martial prowess, except when he lost his temper.

It was clear that the crowd expected a fight, though. I saw Fergus help Anora up onto the second level, next to him, to keep her a bit safer.

Lord Nuada and Loghain faced each other, drawing their weapons. They began to circle each other a few times, and the Landsmeet held its breath. I looked back, checking on everyone. Wynne was tending to Lady Elspeth, who was shaking, looking ill. She had used up most of her courage for the debate, but she won. Cleon had her snickering before long anyway.

"Now we will see if his statement is fact." I glanced up at Sten, who crossed his arms, eyes narrowed as he watched. "I believe so, though," he whispered. "Ashkaari is skilled, in intelligence and in strength of arms."

"Really, though, with all the fighting everyone has done, I think we could send even Layla, without using a spell, to win," Oghren noted on my other side. I glanced at Mistress Layla, and saw her clasp her hands in prayer. I knew she was more worried of Lord Nuada taking a bad injury, again, than of him losing. "Can a mage be sent?"

"Now wouldn't that have been fun," Morrigan murmured, slinking up behind me. I was curious that she was here, but she shrugged. "I am informing you that Zevran saw something suspicious and went to check it out." Ah, I see. "But, truly, would they have?"

"Ask Lady Elspeth," I replied. The tension of the room was heavy. What were they waiting for? "I actually don't know that one."

"Perhaps when she is a little calmer." Her eyes narrowed. "Ah, we're waiting on the old biddy." The old?

"Begin!" Oh, the Grand Cleric. She was, apparently, the one who called the start to the duel.

And, by the Maker, it began.

Both lunged at the same type and their shields clanged together, actually sparking as they broke off and lunged again. Each movement was mirrored, and I knew it was deliberate. I could see Lord Nuada's eyes narrow as he watched for Loghain to become complacent. Lord Nuada was fighting as a 'champion', but he had other ways to fight.

Such as templar. Lord Nuada suddenly twisted and used a sword trick Alistair had taught us both. I could hear the crowd gasp as they recognized it as a signature strike from the templars, a way to addle attackers before killing them. From there, Lord Nuada commanded the battle, switching between 'templar' and 'champion' to continuously keep Loghain off-balance. I grit my teeth as some strikes began to connect in places not protected by armor, and red dripped down. Sten moved to grip my shoulder reassuringly, and I was glad for it.

Still, I wasn't the only one who yelled when Loghain got a lucky strike, clear across Lord Nuada's neck. Red blood flew, and I saw both Wynne and Layla lunge forward.

But Lord Nuada grinned, and in his eyes, I saw power. Strength. Blood lust. The silver shimmered and I almost thought his eye shifted from human to dragon. He had another way to fight. Reaver. And he was done holding back.

Lord Nuada slid his shield off his arm and threw. Loghain ducked under it, but a resounded thud and crack made the whole room scream. The shield had embedded in the wall. And Lord Nuada was not done, as he clearly expected Loghain to dodge. He had already moved, and struck with vicious, brutal attacks. Loghain's armor began cracking, the pieces clinking down. His shield buckled.

He tried to catch one blow on his sword, but Lord Nuada's strength, bolstered by his injury, was too much. The sword shattered, the shards flying and cutting into their faces. Lord Nuada's strike continued on, breaking the armor and sending Loghain flying, dented shield clattering to the ground.

When Loghain tried to stand, Lord Nuada placed one foot on his chest, and pointed his sword at Loghain's face. The silent implication was clear: yield or die.

Loghain sighed, and nodded, closing his eyes, and Lord Nuada stepped back, resting his sword on his shouder. The duel was over. As he had promised, Lord Nuada won.

"How… did I underestimate you?" Loghain whispered. He stood slowly, shaking his head. "I taught you. I should know…"

"Three months of chaos does a lot to change a person," Lord Nuada replied. His smile was sweet, a sharp contrast to the earlier bloodlust. I was glad that his eye went back to 'normal'. "You expected to fight the 'me' before Highever fell, not the 'me' that I became. I knew that. That's why I chose to be here."

"You always were a good tactician." He laughed softly, shaking his head. "I yield."

"…I had a good teacher." Lord Nuada stepped back and brought his sword to his side, closing his eyes. He did not seem bothered, at all, by the red blood trickling down his throat. I was, though. I wanted him healed. Now. "There has been no call for 'Oathbreaker' on you yet, despite the rumors, though it is know you are associated with one: Rendon Howe." That had been declared official late last night. "With that, and your crimes, there is only one fate…"

"Execution, yes, yes, I know." Loghain shook his head, and went ahead and knelt. "Go ahead."

"…Very well." Lord Nuada moved to stand by Loghain, bringing the sword up. It flashed in the light, and I could see Anora trying to lunge forward, to stop it, and Fergus holding her back. "Goodbye." And so ends-

"Wait." Startled, we all turned and I realized Riordan walk up. What was he doing here? Why did he have a chalice with him? "There is another option," he continued, coming to stand right in front of me. "The Teyrn is a warrior and general of great renown. He could be useful." He was not suggesting… "Let him go through the Joining." He was. He was honestly suggesting this!

"You must be joking," I deadpanned. He had to be. "That's up there on the crazy scale."

"It is not a matter of what we like, but what we must do." That didn't matter to me at the moment. We had been doing what we must do without any help! "We are not judges. Kinslayers, blood mages…" He glanced at Layla, who flinched. "Traitors, rebels…" He looked to Cleon, whose eyes narrowed when he saw the translation. "Carta thugs, murderers…" That time, he looked right at me. "Anyone with skill and courage to take u the sword against the darkspawn is welcome among us." I highly doubted that included 'person who made a decision that got a bunch of Wardens killed'. "It is an alternative and, if you choose, your right." The Right of Conscription. Duncan used it to save me from execution. Riordan was suggesting that I do the same

I… was sorely tempted to hurt him. I really was. The whole point of us setting things up this way was so that I could remain neutral. That we could remain neutral. So that none of us had to make a decision, for once, and keep things peaceful. This was forcing me to make a decision that could jeapordize…

Okay, you know what? Fuck it.

"I would rather put the question to someone else, for once," I replied, hoping my voice was loud enough to carry. I stepped back and looked to the everyone, looking them in the eye. Less than one hundred days ago, I wouldn't have even thought about doing something like this. "So, Lords and Ladies of the Landsmeet, I leave the decision to you, as a gesture of goodwill! We Wardens value the alliance and oaths that bind us to Fereldan! We will not steal away your justice in this situation! Vote, as per your laws! If you choose execution, we will not bat an eye. If you choose the Joining, we will welcome him!" Not with open arms, mind. I didn't trust him. It made me a little sick to propose this at all.

But I was tired of every single important decision being forced on me and mine.

The nobles immediately debated. Whispered words, punctuated by loud yells. I glanced at Lord Nuada and Lady Elspeth, but the looks on their faces said they hadn't expected this either. The one time someone comes in to give options, and it actually completely screws us up. Go. Figure.

"I don't like this." It took me a second to realize the person 'hissing' was Alistair. "I really don't like this," he continued, head down and trembling from suppressed fury.

"I know, Alistair," I replied. Honestly, no one liked it. I could tell by how our entire group looked ready to kill Riordan. "I don't either."

"I will never like or trust him."

"I know."

"I can't view becoming a Warden as a punishment."

"I know." I finally looked at him. "But I am tired, Alistair."

"I know." His fists clenched at his sides. "I know. So, I'll do my best to bite my tongue if…"

"That's all any of us are going to do."

"Landsmeet!" Fergus boomed, bringing the whispers to a halt. He certainly cut a commanding figure up there. You would think he had planned such a thing. Who knows? Maybe he had. "In light of the threat, we must cut discussion here. Now, you must cast your votes for the fate of Loghain Mac Tir!"

Each one voted one by one, just as they did for the earlier debate. I watched the Grand Cleric keep track of each vote, and felt intense regret as I realized what would win.

"The Landsmeet has spoken. Loghain, you will undertake the Joining."

I held onto the faint hope that the Joining would kill him as I watched Riordan pass the chalice to Loghain and watched him drink. It had killed Daveth and Ser Jory. Why would it not kill him? Though, then again, I had no idea why it didn't kill us, all those days ago. But, in the end, it didn't matter.

"He lives. Loghain Mac Tir, former Teyrn of Gwaren, Hero of the River Dane, you are now a Grey Warden, and will live to atone for all of your crimes."

So falls the aging hero, and he was stuck in the shadows with us. Maybe I should have decided. Well, too late now. I made the decision to not choose. I had to live with the consequences.


Author's Note: So, one big reason I emphasized Alistair's character development was to have this 'work out', so to speak. In game, you cannot have Alistair and Loghain be in the party at the same time (there is a way to keep him in your camp, I think, but it requires a very specific set of conditions). This is because of a few things: 1) Loghain is responsible for the death of the only father-figure Alistair ever really had (Duncan) and the only people to ever treat him like family (The Wardens), and it would not surprise me if Alistair was also bitter about Cailan's death; 2) Alistair, as mentioned above, just… he personally can't see becoming a Warden as a punishment because becoming a Warden really was the best thing to ever happen to him, to him it is a reward and a promise for a better life which he doesn't feel Loghain deserves; 3) Because of Alistair's psychological association, bringing Loghain into the Wardens is almost like asking him to accept Loghain as a 'brother/uncle/friend/family' when Loghain is, again, responsible for the death of the only family Alistair has ever had. To add a bit, there is a reason I emphasized how little time this all takes: it hasn't even been three months since Ostagar. He's three months into mourning, and not even a proper mourning, because of everything else that's going on. And is only twenty, an age where people aren't… really well known for good coping skills anyway, much less ones who suffered from abuse and neglect for most of their growing years.

However, this is a fanfiction, and novelizations are more fun if you change things. So, in this one, we have Loghain be recruited, and Alistair staying on. (Because, while understandable, it is a bit sad you don't ever really get to see these two interact.)

Next chapter – the second half of the Landsmeet with Nuada