The moment Harry was back in Grimmauld place he felt all his worries leave as Sirius greeted him with a warm hug. Sure, Mrs. Weasley would never pass a chance to hug him but Sirius' hugs were for him only. If only Voldemort could just die so he could have a father and a proper home. His father, was just a picture. He longed for more than a name and a moving photo.
"Harry. I'm so glad you're here." Sirius said.
Harry smiled. "I'm glad Dumbledore let me come." He mumbled, taking in the faint scent of cologne that Sirius liked to wear. Sirius smiled and cupped his face, taking a look at him. The proud way the other looked at him made Harry uncomfortable, because he wasn't used to it, and happy, because he'd yearned for affection all his life.
"Come in Harry, dinner's on the table." Mrs. Weasley said coming into the corridor and dragging him away.
"Mrs. Weasley. How's Mr. Weasley?" Harry asked.
"Oh, he's well sweetheart! All thanks to you. Now come, enjoy your dinner." She encouraged him, sitting him next to Ron who smiled faintly at Harry.
Harry was feeling drained by the time it came to going to bed yet he couldn't go to sleep. Ron snored on the bed beside his. Harry stared at the dark wall paper and thought of Voldemort. He felt so frustrated. He could help if they would just let him join the Order… the sooner Voldemort came to being destroyed the sooner he came to having a home. Here.
If only he could do something. He closed his eyes and let sleep take him.
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Severus cringed as he walked into Grimmauld place, following Black. "What do you mean the headmaster is late?" He asked.
"I mean, that he is unable to meet at the time he expect the meeting to start with. As such Snivellus we have to wait until he arrives.
"I am not staying in this stinking ruin of a house longer than required. How late did he say he would be? I'll return then." Severus said, resisting the urge to punch him.
"He didn't say, so I guess that means you're staying for Christmas dinner. Unless your master wants his dog back." Black said, grabbing the arm with the black mark. Severus hissed and snatched his arm back.
"I'm not the dog here Black!" He hissed back. They glared at each other hatefully, both contemplating hexing each other until a noise at the end of the corridor made Severus turned to see Potter standing behind the slightly opened door. "Potter, eavesdropping is not polite."
"Don't talk to my godson like that." Black sneered.
"How endearing Black to-"
"No. Professor. I wasn't. I um… Sirius, Mrs. Weasley said dinner's ready." The boy said glancing between the two of them.
"Ah! I'll be right there Harry. Can't have Christmas dinner started without everyone." Black said in an overtly cheerful tone.
"I'll wait for the headmaster in your dingy living-room." Severus said and scoffed as he shoved past Black. Potter stepped out of the way.
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Harry watched Snape go to the living-room. A warm light soon came from it. Snape probably lighted the fireplace.
"Come now Harry, don't let that miserable guy ruin the celebrations." Sirius said. Harry nodded going with him back into the dining room but he felt uncomfortable celebrating something when Snape was sitting in the next room.
"What do you mean Severus is here? You should have told me." Mrs. Weasley said smacking Sirius' arm and started serving a plate. "George take this to Professor Snape will you." She said as she poured things here and there but that second George's eyes opened wide and he aparated away. She huffed and looked at Fred who vanished aswell.
"I'll go Mrs. Weasley." Harry said standing up, taking the plates. Everyone was just glad not to be the one taking it to Snape so no one even questioned why Harry volunteered.
Harry entered the living-room to see Snape sitting in one of the chairs, reading a small book. "Professor, I brought you some food." Snape glanced at him and scoffed.
"How presumptuous that you would assume that I need any of that foo-" Harry just set the tray in front of him and sat in front of him, eating from his own plate of mini treacle tarts. "You are too fond of sugar Potter."
"I'm catching up." Harry said shrugging as he ate another.
"Don't you have a celebration to get back to?" Snape sneered.
"What about you professor?" Did Snape have anyone at home waiting for him?
"I'm waiting for the infernal meeting to take place." Snape said. "Go to your friends."
"It's Thursday." Harry said. Snape looked at him and Harry had to look down and focus on another mini pastry.
"It's Christmas, I'm sure madam Pomfrey will forgive us one slip." He said taking the plate finally and Harry felt a bit relieved.
"Oh, I took the bandages off a couple of days ago. It was great." Harry said showing Snape the smooth, normal looking skin, no traces of the scars or bruising.
"No remnant pain?" Snape asked. Harry flexed his hand a couple of times.
"No."
"Good." They sat there, each eating their own thing. Harry looked at his own hands and then at the potions master.
"I don't feel comfortable… celebrating something when you're here…"
"How touching. Is this where we exchange gifts?" he replied snarkily.
"No." He grumbled, glaring at his last bit of pastry. The git just made it so hard to be nice to him.
"I assure you I would be more uncomfortable where I'm not wanted than here by myself." He said. "Rest assured I do not hold exclusion as close to the heart as you do." Snape said simply.
Harry looked up to argue but decided that there was nothing he could really say. If he said he wanted to celebrate Christmas with Snape it would be a lie. Though it felt wrong at the same time. "Alright… enjoy your meal professor." Harry said and stood, leaving the other behind.
No one really noticed his absence that much and soon he returned to the side of his friends to open some magical Christmas crackers. Still he felt a little better after talking to Snape.
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"Alright children, you all go upstairs while we grown-ups have a boring little chat." Mrs. Weasley said and Harry looked at the twins. It meant that it was an Order meeting. But how? He never saw Dumbledore come in.
"Sirius, I want to stay, please I'm old enough." Harry pleaded.
"Of course Harry."
"You cannot! He's just a boy Sirius. Don't do that." Mrs. Weasley chastised Sirius again.
"Yes Black. One has to wonder where your loyalties lie when you're so desperate to get the boy killed." Snape sneered as he walked passed Harry and into the room.
"I'm going to get killed if I don't know what's happening! I can help. If I have this connection to him, why not use it to spy on him?" Harry insisted.
"Unfortunately for you Potter a spy already exists for this Order, your vast skills in mind magic are currently unneeded." Snape said and Harry felt anger boiling in his chest.
"I'm not as weak as you think I am! I can do this! I've already tried and I think-" Snape smacked him to the back of his head. He saw Sirius shoot up and pull his wand out, aiming it at the back of Snape's head but Snape must have been too distracted as he shook Harry briefly by the shoulders.
"The dark lord will drive you mad before you can even peek into any corner of his mind! You foolish child! As careless as your father!" Snape snapped.
"Don't talk about my father that way!"
"Don't talk about James that way!" Both Harry and Sirius yelled at Snape. Snape turned to face the end of Sirius' wand.
"Oh? You agree Black?! You agree that Potter should step into the dark lord's mind?! Good thing the boy's still not in your care yet or the child might as well start writing his obituary!" Sirius looked conflicted. On the one hand Harry could see that his godfather saw his plan as pure madness while on the other hand he still looked like he wanted to strike Snape down where he stood.
Harry felt his eyes burning a little.
"I just want to help! Sirius I'm not a kid anymore! I want to fight him! He took everything from me too!" Harry yelled, desperate to stay.
"Harry…" Mrs. Weasley tried coaxing him but Snape grabbed him by the shoulder and threw him out.
"Do not mock those trying to protect you by throwing yourself into danger. Go upstairs." He ordered, his voice calming down but Harry was incensed.
"You are not my father!"
"Thank Merlin for that."
"You can't tell me what to do! Sirius, please." Harry said turning to his godfather, who looked at a loss on whose side to take. Snape solved the issue by shutting the door hard and locking it. Harry clenched his jaw and growled kicking the door as hard as he could. It hurt. A lot. He could hear Snape and Sirius arguing about the handling of him and Harry turned storming up the stairs, ignoring the worried look of his friends and going straight to his room, throwing himself into his bed, wishing the entire world would just fade away.
He wasn't a child. He never was a child. How dare they? Harry groaned feeling the rage slither inside him, like a snake inside his skull. Clear your mind, clear your mind, clear your mind… clear…
