Welcome, once again, to another exciting episode of Laff-A-Lympics. Our competition begins in the ever-lovely Lichtenstein and wraps up on the improbable island of Iceland. Will the Yogi Yahooeys, the Scooby Doobies, or the Really Rottens win today's gold medal? Let's join our commentators, Snagglepuss and Mildew Wolf, and find out.
Snagglepuss told everyone, "Greetings, everybody. Salutations, even. We have some interesting events planned for today, don't we, Mildew?"
"Do we ever, Snag. Just thinking about it gives me goosebumps—or maybe it's the cold mountain air."
"Perhaps, it is. But let's get started with our first event: mountain biking in the Ardennes forest. For the Yogis, we have Hokey Wolf."
"Thanks, Snagglepuss. Wolves love the mountains, so maybe I have the home forest advantage," Hokey replied.
"Indeed. For the Scoobies, we have that dynamic teen angel, Dee Dee Sykes. Dee Dee, what do you think?"
"I can't wait to start. I'm sure I'll soar above the competition," she replied.
"Chuckle, chuckle. Finally, for the Rottens, we have Mrs. Creepley."
"Thanks, darling. I can't wait to feel the wind in my hair."
At the sound of an alphorn, Mildew told everyone, "There's the signal—if it isn't a sick moose—so get going you silly savages!"
And our contestants are off. Hokey has the early lead over Dee Dee. But the Rottens' Mrs. Creepley hasn't even started yet!
"Oh pshaw. I'm just getting warmed up. I'll start in a moment and win the race. And, I won't even cheat," she replied.
"Now this, I've got to see," Mildew said.
Mrs. Creepley started to pedal down the mountain, but she was still way behind the other two contestants.
Back at the front of the race, the Scoobies have just taken over the lead, thanks to Dee Dee's determination.
"I'd hate to say that five times fast," she deadpanned.
With Hokey hot on her tail...
"I thought I had the tail," Hokey interjected.
Let's try that again. With Hokey close behind, this race might end up a photo finish.
Trailing behind, Mrs. Creepley let her feet off of the pedals. Her bike continued to pick up momentum to the point she had trouble steering.
I can't believe it. Without any type of tricks or cheats, Mrs. Creepley has caught up to the other contestants. But can she keep control and finish the race?
Dee Dee pedaled as fast as she could. "I can't let that Rotten finish first!" she exclaimed.
Mrs. Creepley narrowly made the last sharp turn. Despite the wind blowing her hair into her eyes, she said, "See you at the finish line, darlings."
Hokey did his best to keep up with Dee Dee. If he couldn't win, the least he could do is try for second, or force a tie for second place.
As we reach the finish line, it's Mrs. Creepley for the Rottens. And it's... it's... it's too close to call for second and third place! We're going to need to use the instant super slow replay for this one, Snagglepuss.
"So we do. Let's take another look, one more peek, even," Snagglepuss replied. As he activated the replay, Dee Dee narrowly finished ahead of Hokey by the smallest possible margin.
"I don't get it, Snag. How did she win without cheating? Isn't that against their code of conduct?" Mildew asked.
"We don't always cheat, Moldy," Mr. Creepley replied. "Besides, we need those points for the playoff round."
Elsewhere, Junior Creepley congratulated his mother on her win.
After our first event, the Rottens have the early lead with 25. The Scoobies' spectacular second place finish gives them 15. And the Yogis are in the cellar with 10.
The Yogis gave a collective groan of disappointment.
"I'm here with our contestants for the next event: the yodeling contest. Tell us more," Snagglepuss said.
Each contest will have 30 seconds to Yodel for our judges. After each team has yodeled, the judges will announce the final positions.
"For the Yogis, we have Cindy Bear. Cindy, do you even know how to yodel?"
"If I can charm a bull with my singing, I can yodel my way to victory," Cindy assured Snagglepuss.
"And for the Scoobies, we have Hong Kong Phooey."
Hong Kong responded with a karate chop and what sounded like Japanese words and phrases.
"I hope that's not how you yodel," Mildew said.
"And finally, we have Daisy Mayhem and Sooey Pig for the Rottens," Snagglepuss told everyone.
Sooey gave a few grunts and oinks in reply.
"Miss Daisy, what do you know about yodeling?" Mildew asked.
"It can't be any different from a hog-calling contest. So I figure I'll try one of my famous hog calls. It's a cinch, right Sooey?" Daisy answered.
Sooey once again grunted.
"I can't argue with that logic—especially since there wasn't any," Mildew conceded.
By virtue of their lowest score, the Yogis will go first.
Cindy stepped up to the judges. Despite her noticeable Southern US accent, she warbled and yodeled her heart out. The judges took notes as she rejoined her teammates.
Next up: the Scoobies.
Hong Kong Phooey did his best to Yodel, but the judges weren't impressed with his grunts, groans, and unintelligible Japanese exclamations. They did chuckle, however, when his final scream caused snow to fall off the tree next to him and land on his head.
Rounding out the event: the Really Rottens.
"Alright, Sooey, you know what to do. And make it fast. This cold snow is torture on my tootsies," Daisy said.
Sooey winked his good eye and grunted an acknowledgment.
Daisy did her best to combine her skill at hog-calling with yodeling. The judges, however, found the noise more annoying that fingernails on a chalkboard. Once time ran out, Daisy gave a giant "Yee haw!"
"Excuse me, Miss Daisy, do you think you have a chance at first place?" Mildew asked nervously.
"Of course we do, Mildew darlin'. I took first place three years in a row using that hog call."
"We'll see about that. Do we have the final standings yet?"
For first place, the judges decided that Cindy Bear of the Yogis had the best yodel.
The entire Yogis team cheered at the announcement.
For second place, we have the Really Rottens.
"Hey, how come they get second place?" Shaggy asked.
"Simple, although Daisy's yodel was annoying, your yodeler was even worse than she was," one of the judges replied.
"I'm sorry I asked," Shaggy answered sheepishly.
With these results, the Yogis now move into second place with 35 points. The Rottens keep first place with 40. And, the Scoobies are in the cellar with 25 points.
Scooby looked on with a sad face. Elsewhere, the Rottens cheered their early lead.
"It's amazing that we're winning—and we haven't even cheated yet," Dread Baron stated.
"That's right, Dread. But the best, or maybe the worst, is yet to come," Mr. Creepley replied.
"That's it for Lichtenstein—and for the first half of our show, even. Dress warmly, because we're about to head off to Iceland for the second half of our show," Snagglepuss told the audience.
"Oh, drat. I forgot my earmuffs," Mildew replied.
As Mildew does his best to stay warm, we welcome you to stay tuned for the second half of our All-Star Laff-A-Lympics.
Welcome back to the second half of our All-Star Laff-A-Lympics. Join us for intense Icelandic fun as we start with a spectacular snowball fight and end on a resounding note with a race in snowshoes.
To recap the scores, the Rottens have the lead with 40 points. The Yogis are right behind with 35 and the Scoobies round out the field with 25 points.
The teams are ready for their next event, so let's bring you back to our announcers, Snagglepuss and Mildew Wolf.
"Welcome back everyone. Thanks for returning, even. Our next even is the three-way snowball fight. When both players from a team are hit, they're out of the game. Last team with players remaining wins first place," Snagglepuss told the viewers.
"Oh, peachy. Why not give them sharp objects, too?" Mildew replied sarcastically.
"The object is to win, not hurt each other. For the Yogis, we have Doggy Daddy and Augie Doggie."
"Thanks, Snagglepuss. There's nothing like bonding with your son with a fun little snow ball fight," Doggy Daddy said.
"You tell 'em, dear old dad!" Augie added.
"For the Scoobies, we have Babu and Captain Caveman. Now, there's a crazy combination," Mildew stated.
"Don't worry, Mildew. We'll be just fine," Babu replied.
Captain Caveman added a few unintelligible growls and grunts.
"And for the Rottens, we have the Dalton brothers: Dirty and Dastardly," Snagglepuss announced.
"We may be short, but it means our opponents will have a hard time hitting us, too. We won't even need to cheat to win," Dastardly stated.
Off to the side, Dread Baron said, "But we know better, right Mumbly?"
Mumbly nodded and snickered.
As the teams moved to their respective snow forts, they noticed a number of snowballs already available for use. A moment later, they heard the loud sound of a horn.
"There's the signal, good luck and best wishes, even," Snagglepuss said.
Doggy Daddy threw a snowball at the Scoobies' fort. Captain Caveman was ready, however, and swung his club at the snowball.
"Nice job, Captain Caveman," Babu said.
Captain Caveman growled some before replying, "Less talk, more snow."
Augie Doggie threw a snowball at the Rottens, only to see his throw canceled out as it hit a snowball thrown by Dirty Dalton.
"Blast. We'll never win like this," Dirty said.
"Don't worry, brother. We'll get em." Dastardly replied as he threw a snowball that hit Doggy Daddy from behind.
"I'm sorry, son of mine. You'll have to finish yourself," he said.
"Too bad, dear old dad. I'll do my best, though," his son answered. Unfortunately, Babu hit him with a snowball, eliminating the Yogis from contention.
With the Yogis out of the game, the Rottens and Scoobies threw all their snowballs to no avail.
Dread Baron and Mumbly secretly dropped a fresh batch of snowballs into the Rottens' snow fort.
"Did you put the horseshoes in, Mumbly?" he asked.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Mumbly whispered before he snickered.
"Those yahoos won't know what hit them."
Meanwhile, Babu noticed the Scoobies' nearly-depleted snowball supply.
"We have to do something, Cavey," he said.
"No worries, me fix!" Captain Caveman replied. As he rolled up the largest snowball he could make with his hands and put it on the edge of their snow fort.
"Captain Caveman!" he shouted as he smacked the snowball with his club, directing it towards the Rottens. The snowball proceeded to hit Dirty Dalton.
"That was unexpected," Dirty said.
"Don't worry, Dirty, I'll get 'em for you," Dastardly promised. He then grabbed one of the new snowballs.
"Hmm, this one sure is heavy," he said as he threw it with all his might and it Captain Caveman square on the head.
"Me hear birdies tweet," Captain Caveman said before he fell unconscious.
"What did you do, you rotten Rottens?" Babu asked. Upon seeing another snowball flying his way, he tried to stop it with his magic.
"Yapple dapple!" he called out.
Unfortunately, Dastardly's snowball hit Babu, eliminating the Scoobies.
With two teams eliminated, it looks like the Rottens have won the snowball fight.
"Hold it!" Mildew shouted. "There's no way the Rottens could win so easily. Run the cheat detector."
As we replay the snowball fight... wait, what's this? The Rottens received unofficial snowballs with hidden horseshoes inside. That's obviously a cheat. That means the Rottens have been disqualified and the Scoobies are the new winners.
The Rottens rained down their usual boos and catcalls upon being called out for cheating.
"Lets see the updated standings, shall we?" Snagglepuss said.
The Scoobies, with their 25 points for first, now have 50. The Yogis get 15 points for second and move into a tie with their 50 points. The Rottens, due to their disqualification, get no points and stay at 40.
"Razzin frazzin no points kazzin," Mumbly muttered in disgust.
"Brack!" the Magic Rabbit added.
"We're here at our final even here in Iceland, the snowshoe foot race. Snag is about to interview our contestants—better him than me," Mildew told everyone.
"For the Yogi's, we have everyone's favorite giant gorilla, the great Grape Ape," Snagglepuss told the audience.
"Grape Ape, Grape Ape," Grape Ape replied.
"I couldn't say it any better, even if I tried, even. For the Scoobies, we have that awesome snow angel, I mean teen angel, Taffy Dare. So, tell me about the race,"
"I've never run in snow shoes before. But at least I'm not wearing heels. I couldn't run in those, I don't think," Taffy replied.
"Indeed. And here for the Rottens, we have Dinky Dalton."
"Where's the starting line?" Dinky asked, oblivious to Snagglepuss due to his hat covering his eyes.
"In good time."
"Good? If I'm good, my name isn't Dinky Dalton."
"If you insist. The winner of this race gets 25 points, and they will win the gold medal—first place even."
With the contestants anxious to being the race, the sound of a trumpet announced the start of the race.
And the racers are off. We have a neck and neck race between Grape Ape and Dinky Dalton with Taffy Dare trying to keep up.
"Go ahead, say I'm in last place. I dare ya," Taffy called out.
As our runners approach the turn, it's—hey, Grape Ape, watch out for that tree!
Grape Ape turned to face the camera. "What tree?" he asked before smacking into one. "Uh oh," he added.
As Taffy completes the turn and tries to catch up with Dinky, they leave Grape Ape in last place.
Grape Ape finally regained his bearings, ran to the turn and did his best to recover from his mishap.
Look at him go. The galloping Grape Ape is back into the mix. As we reach the finish line, It's Dinky, Taffy, and—wait, Grape Ape, it's... it's too close to call!
"Let's review the tape and filter out that dust cloud, shall we?" Snagglepuss added. He than walked over to the view replay booth and examined the tape.
As we see here, Dinky Dalton edges out Grape Ape for a spectacular snowshoe race victory.
The Rottens loudly cheered their cheat-free victory.
"I can't believe it. The Rottens actually won fair and square," Mildew stated.
"Don't spread that around, you varmint. We's got a reputation to keep, you know," Daisy Mayhem told him in reply.
"If that's what you really want. Please, recap the final scores now."
The Rottens, with their 25 point win, finish with 65. The Yogis' 15 points for second also gives them 65. The Scoobies' 10-point finish gives them 60. We have a tie for today's gold medal.
Joining Dinky Dalton on the gold medal podium was the Yogis' Yakky Doodle. Dynomutt received the Scoobies' Silver Medal.
"And that wraps up another crazy competition, wraps it up indeed," Snagglepuss told everyone.
"I can only imagine what's in store for us next time, if we even have one. I don't think I can take all this excitement," Mildew replied.
Mock Social Media Update
Official LAL Bogus Chirper Feed – The Yogis and Rottens tie in this week's #Laff-A-Lympic events.
Yogi Yahooeys MyBook Account – Yakky Doodle poses with our gold medal from today's competition.
Rottens Stumbler Account – Dinky Dalton comes up big with a gold medal. See, cheaters do win... sometimes.
Updated Team Standings
Yogi Yahooies, 2, 1, 0, 220
Scooby Doobies, 1, 1, 1, 245
Really Rottens, 1, 1, 1, 175
