Sean tried to work on his customers car the next day, and when the boss worked on the vehicles, it meant the customer was paying good money; only for the best. Sean was that, but he couldn't seem to concentrate. He sighed as he leaned under the hood, using his wrench to pull a lever out in the engine.
FLASHBACK OF THIS MORNING.
Sean was having a fantastic dream. There was a girl - warm, and naked - blonde. her hair smelled like flowers and vanilla, her skin was so soft, and it had been so long since he last had her in his arms. His eyes opened drowsily, hoping it still wasn't a dream, and Emma in fact was still next to him.
Thank god, it wasn't a dream.
Blonde hair was spread over the pillow, tickling his cheek, and he had his arm swung over her tiny waist. She breathing in and out softly, in a deep sleep, like a kitten. So damn cute, he thought. I hope...
...shit, I hope she doesn't regret last night.
He rubbed the back of his neck, his brow furrowed with worry and began to panic as she stirred awake at the feeling of someone stiffening right beside her. She could probably even hear his heart pound.
Maybe things had moved too fast, but it wasn't like they hadn't known each other for a long time.. and what she had been through the last few weeks, it was a lot to go through with someone who was just a 'friend'.
END OF FLASHBACK
Sean huffed and leaned up, trying to rub his eyes. He couldn't help but grin slowly though as he went back under the hood and tried to get to work again but more memories clouded his head.
ANOTHER FLASHBACK
"I don't regret it," Emma whispered repeated for the 100th time in his ear. He sighed thankfully, running his fingers through her hair. She arched against him, feeling that 'morning' poke and he groaned, shutting his eyes and hoping she didn't notice but she did, and purposely did that for a reason. His mouth dropped as she eased herself on top of him, and begged him to fill her. He almost came there.
"I'm going to be late for work." he sighed helplessly.
"We can stop?"
He sent her a look, making her giggle then yelp when he tossed her now under him, and he leaned over her, thrusting into her just once, then twice. Emma whimpered and clenched his arms, closing her eyes. His lips met hers and she instantly melted against him, her lips parting to accept his tongue, moaning as it stroked against hers as he was moving in and out of her slowly.
Making love.
He would pull out almost all the way, leaving just his tip inside her, her walls gripped him and she tensed as she waited for him to plunge back inside. Every trust, every stroke was so worth waiting for. Her legs were almost shaking around his waist.
She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer, lifting her hips, matching his rhythm as his thrusts increased in speed and depth, making her moan almost constantly and him pant. Their lips met again in a bruising kiss the next time, full of passion and fire.
Emma felt his whole body tense and she knew he was close.
The climax of hers came when his did. She felt his whole body vibrating with pleasure, his muscles tensing, the way his head dropped back for a second before his eyes latched on to hers again, seeing the evidence of his pleasure in his gaze, the feel of his cock swelling, pulsing inside her made her begin to climax with a whimper and shudder, rocking her hips against his and clenching the bed sheets.
END OF FLASHBACK
Sean now removed himself from the car, slamming it shut.
He couldn't work today.
All he wanted to do was leave and go spend the rest of the day with Emma. She hadn't even texted him or anything though since he left herplace. He had showered after they , well, they made love. And then, she was asleep again when he came out. He didn't want to bug her, so had left.
Maybe he should of left a note?
Maybe he should call her?
Dammit. Emma had him second guessing his every move all over again like he was 14 years old again.
"You okay dude?" Jay had to ask, cleaning his tools from in his tool box with a white towel, giving Sean a wierd look.
Sean rubbed his eyes, "I can't...work!" he seemed frustrated. He turned, and leaned back on the car he was working on, crossing his big arms over his chest as he panted madly before he sighed and gave up. "Can't stop thinking about her."
Jay stopped cleaning his tool, and his shoulders dropped, sighing. "Something happened, didn't it?" he put the tools down, walking over to Sean.
Sean stared off between their feet as he muttered, "We slept together last night."
Jay scoffed, "Come on, man! You couldn't hold it in for a few more months?"
"I don't have a few months!" Sean shot back angrily, "I have mere weeks to figure out what I want with Ellie before she comes back to ask me again.. I can't even- don't even- know what I am with Emma. We were, just, in a moment. I couldn't help it. I wanted her to know how I feel about her. How I still feel about her."
Jay gave him some pity, sizing Sean over, "You'd go back to Emma if you could?"
Sean kept staring down at the floor, agony in his eyes. "I'd always go back to her..." he licked his lips nervously as he glanced back up, "I just want to see if this thing with me and Emma is serious."
Jay asked, "So Ellie's going to just be on the back burner til your ready? Dude that sounds more like something I'd do"
"No, you're right. I just don't get it. Ellie never clarified if we were together or not.." Sean wondered if he had even cheated. God, this wasn't him. What was going on suddenly? Life was so average and, boring, until Emma walked back into it. Now it was spinning out of control. She had him spinning
Jay chuckled, "I don't get it either. You two broke up, she went missing for a bit, then she suckered you back in with sex, now she's trying to trick you into marriage. Never liked that girl." At least with Emma, Jay could admit Sean was a better person. Emma changed Sean for the better. Ellie made Sean weak, and boring. And the way his friend looked when around Emma, Jay just knew he was more happier with her than with Ellie.
Sean couldn't help but think of Ellie walking down an alter towards him, and he just shook his head, cringing a little. He couldn't imagine himself doing it. Marrying Ellie. But easily, Emma popped into his head, smiling and wearing a beautiful white dress-
"Shit." Sean cursed, closing his eyes and rubbing them.
"What?" Jay asked.
"I need to go talk to Emma." Sean began to walk out and hollered over his shoulder, "Close tonight, please!"
"You're her love sick puppy, Cameron!" Jay called after but chuckled, turning back to his tools and shook his head. "Oh, those two."
((((((******))))))
At Emma's apartment now, Sean stood in front of her door and took a deep breath before he knocked a few times and waited.
A few seconds later, Emma opened the door, her soft blonde hair falling around her shoulders and wearing fitted blue jeans and a casual white tank top on. She looked so good, her eyes nearly glowing. She bit her lower soft pink lip.
"Hi." she greeted.
he snapped out of it and cleared his throat, "hey."
Silence filled the hair. He furrowed, "We need to talk."
She held the door to her side and leaned on the door, "I know.."
"Can I come in?" he asked.
She looked a bit startled for a moment, and even glanced inside before choking up and trying to explain, "I don't.. I don't think that's a good idea."
Emma saw the hurt cross over his face. She smiled sadly, "We don't really make good ... choices..when we're alone together."
He too chuckled sadly but reminded, "I don't think their all bad choices."
Emma swallowed, locking eyes with him. She sighed helplessly and finally opened the door, letting him in. He took hold of the knob and came in, closing it behind him.
"Smells good in here." he admitted, looking around.
"Made pie." Emma admitted. Not for so much she was hungry, but she needed to take her minds off things. Off Sean. For God sakes, he had a girl friend!.
Sean was nodding, and now leaning against the counter as Emma finally huffed.
"Sean, I'm not the side girl. I can't be anybodys side girl."
"You're not." his eyes widened, not believing she could think she was.
"Sean you're with another girl." Emma raised her eyebrow at him, not knowing how he could forget. "I think yesterday was just...old..old feelings or something."
"Old?" Sean had to repeat, looking at her with a crazed look and walked closer. She stood by the couch and leaned back against it the closer he got. "They aren't old feelings Emma, they're continuingly, lingering, forever sort of feelings." he snickered bitterly, "I didn't ever think of you after you left and went 'hmm, wonder how 'that girl' is doing'. It was always, 'I miss her. I still do.' " he shook his head at her, "Don't stand here and tell me you never thought about me now and then too."
Emma looked away from him, tears making her eyes shimmer. "Does it even matter?" she looked back at him. Would he even give the other girl up for her?
He looked so helpless, and devoted. He took a step forward, closer, staring into anothers eyes. "I don't care about Ellie, I care about you-"
"Ellie?"
"You and me-"
Emma spoke louder, catching his slip up that he didn't even catch, "Ellie Nash?!"
He finally stopped, wondering why she was suddenly looking so angry while he pouring his heart out to finally stop and curse silently. "Fuck." Oh, not so silently. He closed his eyes and huffed, going to explain, "Em-"
Emma snickered, shaking her head at him and looking at him like she didn't even know him. His gut turned sickly.
"Emma." he took a step closer, going to put his hands on her arms and she shrugged him off like his touch disgusted her. He flinched with hurt.
"I am so stupid." she laughed, upset, putting her head into her hands to then look back up and ran her shakey fingers through her hair.
Don't let him know he can still break your heart, Emma thought, finish this once and for all. No more giving chances to the guy who always breaks your heart. For once, Emma wanted to be in control again.
"You know, it's not just me whose changed." she looked back into his eyes so vile like.
He looked so sorry, and tried to explain, "I knew if I told you it was her, you would-"
"Would of ended whatever this is a long time ago? Got that right, Sean." Emma stormed over to the door, but Sean caught her arm, spinning her back around to him.
"Why are you threatened of her?! She doesn't make me feel anything close to what you do-"
Emma cried and yelled at him, "Yet you lived with her, your friends liked her, you two never had the problems we did Sean, and you sure as hell never fought like we do!- And you've been with her all these years.." Emma couldn't believe it.
Sean's mouth hung, and he tried to muster words but there was all too much to say, but nothing related to that. Who cares if his friends liked Ellie? He didn't. He wanted Emma; always had. But for Emma's information, they didn't really like Ellie, not really, Alex put up with her because she was with Jay, and Jay actually didn't like her at all, never did. He just would of rather Sean be with her than the school goody two shoes back in highschool because Jay knew he could control Sean more when he was with Ellie and didn't have to fight over him like he had to with Emma.. He was an ass then, and he knew Emma's opinion mattered to Sean.
Sean always cared about anything that had to do with Emma.
"Just go." Emma pleaded, opening the door and couldn't even look at him.
Sean stood there, looking like he had been hit by a bus. His shoulders felll and he walked out but stopped and had to ask her, "Would you of taken a chance if you didn't find out? About Ellie?"he asked with a braver tone, "Would you of at least wanted to try again with us?"
Emma turned her head, and locked eyes with him. She swallowed the lump in her throat. "I'm done with liars and people who aren't good for me, Sean."
With that, she shut the door.
Sean stood there, frozen cold.
Inside, Emma silently sobbed and shut her eyes, climbing onto her couch and her heart ached and broke as she surrendered to another countless heart break by Sean Cameron.
/how stupid could I be
a simpleton could see
that you're no good for me
but you're the only one I see
love has made me a fool
it set me on fire and watched as I floundered
unable to speak
except to cry out and wait for your answer
but you come around in your time
speaking of fabulous places
create an oasis
dries up as soon as you're gone
you leave me here burning
in this desert without you/
{How stupid could I be- Sarah Mclaughlin}
Sean went home, throwing his keys effortlessly into the tray by his door. He slammed it shut and turned to the door, resting his forehead against it, closing his tired eyes.
He turned, and his tired eyes glanced around his gloomy home. He dragged his feet into his own apartment and sat on his couch, leaning back and throwing his head back on the cushion.
His pocket vibrated by his phone, and dug with a scoff to get it out and looked miserably at the caller.
Ellie.
He tossed his phone over the couch, and it fell with a noise he was sure meant he had broken it, but he carelessly turned on his side, trying to sleep but just stared at his blank wall with his heart tearing up inside of him, his stomach twisting with pain.
'I'm done with liars and people who are no good for me, Sean.' her voice haunted him.
He couldn't agree more. She deserved better.
He felt like a scumbag.
(((((*****))))))
"Come out, babe." Manny begged Emma the following week. "We can have a girls night."
Emma ate cerial on her and Jay's couch, just trying to spend more time with MAnny to keep her mind off things. The worst thing to do, was let this 'heart break' set her back.
"No I-I'll just say in tonight." Emma said and put the bowl down on the coffee table. "You go though."
She gave Emma a stupid look. "I'm not leaving you here to drown in your pity."
"I'm not drowning."Emma muttered miserably as Manny sat next to her. "Fine." Emma raised an eyebrow. "Lets go. Bring me to your closet."
"My closet?" Manny asked somewhat in disbelief but amused. Emma had always said her closet was too 'promiscuous' for her.
This night out might just be fun after all!
((*))
"You closing?" Jay asked Sean another night, turning from walking out with Chad and Mike. There was a big storm outside but they were going to go grab some beers.
Sean stood at the front desk of his shop, all the lights on but only him staying late. He just glanced up from the chart he was writing down on to mutter, "Ya." and got back to work.
Jay frowned, noticing how down Sean had been the past week or two, even that light in his eyes blew out the day he had said he needed to go talk to Emma. Jay had guessed things didn't go well.
Sean had thrown himself into work, and was barely talking- about anything. Even if it had to do with work. He tried to alienate himself in his office a lot too.
Oddly, Jay also knew Emma was going out with Manny a lot more too. They had 'girls night' every Friday and Saturday.
"Want to come for beers after?" he offered.
"No." Sean just answered while still signing some forms.
Jay gave up, sighing in defeat and opened the door, leaving Sean to wallow in his misery.
/everything changes
everything falls apart
can't stop to feel myself losing control
but deep in my senses I know
how stupid could I be
a simpleton could see
that you're no good for me
but you're the only one I see/
