So, I think you all know what this is. I tend to do this for a lot of my aged fics that I look back on and cringe at, in an odd, defiant mix of shame and pride. That's right: I'm officially killing this off.
Anyone who's also read my other killed-off fics would know that, most of the time when I announce a story to be dead and over with, I like to include the unfinished, doomed chapters, for the potential pleasure of any readers still interested in my old, incomplete, story-relevant work. I sometimes also write up a little explanation of things that hadn't been explained yet in the fic, and now never will be. (A.k.a., where the story had originally been intended to head.) If there's a specific reasoning behind my execution of the fic in question, other than simply a lack of interest in both continuing and/or going back to revise plot holes/poor characterization/etc., I'll usually also put that in here.
So here goes, from the last described addition to the first...
Why I Killed This Off: Other than the general reasons listed above, I felt this Hinata was growing too close to a Mary Sue, or just uncomfortably OOC. Some of the other characters, or maybe even all of them, were also looking a little too OOC for the me-of-the-present. Also, this was never a very popular story in the first place, and I fully admit that it had been an indulgence-fic for the me-of-the-past. After losing motivation, there was no logic behind continuing what was meant to be fun indulgence thing, if it no longer felt like a fun indulgence thing.
Some Stuff Never Explained So Far, OR, A Brief Past Timeline of Hinata and Naruto: Hinata grows obsessed with being stronger after the kidnapping scare. Early on in her training, she befriends a vaguely sympathetic Branch member, Hisoka, who she later has to kill through the seal when he's assumed captured on a mission. She becomes much colder after that, and also starts a side-hobby of researching seals out of a secret desire to save anybody else from Hisoka's fate. After realizing she's pretty bad at seals, and also doesn't have time or materials to learnt to get better, she switches tracks to researching sealmasters, in hazy hope of somehow reaching her nebulous goal through one. She comes across the Uzumaki clan description in a history book, and learns of their affinity with seals. When she notices an Uzumaki Naruto in her class, despite being a little skeptical of his un-Uzumaki-like coloring, she's still desperate enough to try and approach him. They develop a friendship, against Hinata's reluctance, and she becomes his sort-of-mentor. He becomes a huge soft spot for her. Fast foward a few years, and I'm pretty sure everything else has been explained at some earlier point? (This is actually elaborated on in some of the unfinished chapters below.)
And, Of Course, Unfinished Chapters: (Never assume anything below is finished, though some of the smaller numbered drabbles actually might be. In the end, feel free to just interpret it how you wish.)
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(awkward family interactions and tenten sarcasms)
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[Age 11]
That morning, at breakfast:
"Neji-san, may I accompany you to see your new Genin team?"
It was a Saturday, but the Hyuugas had a standard of 'dawn' for everyday's awakening. Even Hanabi was not spared this early rising, although of course the children didn't start 'sleep training' until they were at least 3, and had a certain degree of control over their impulses by then.
Hinata had not planned for anything significant that weekend, and as Cousin Neji's graduation day had been on Thursday,
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(desertion reactions, world-building, and yeah, that's it)
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[Age 13]
News of the Uchiha's desertion, leaving for Otogakure and Orochimaru's cursed powers, may be hushed up by the ninja. That's for the civilians, however. 'Civvies'. It would do no good for them to panic and raise a ruckus and alert every amateur spy within a 25-mile radius.
Truthfully, news of the Uchiha's abandonment of the village had spread rapidly among the hitai'ate-wearing ranks. In particular, the news had caught onto the Rookie 9, as they were being called, like a wildfire amid bone-dry skeleton trees. Affecting each one differently, jumping from tree to tree, but with unanimous negative reactions ranging from mild disapproval to shocked denial to howling, passionate outrage.
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Team 8 fell on the spectrum of mild disapproval.
Hinata views it as the betrayal of a ninja defecting to another allegiance, and reacts with appropriate, obligated, societally-expected concern.
… Plus, she spent all that time sparring and instructing and, ugh, socializing with that ungrateful brat, and the Uchiha just ups and leaves with a sarcastic letter!? Is that all that her precious, could-be-training time is worth? A letter? A letter of sarcasm!?
-Is what she would think if Hyuuga propriety hasn't been ingrained into her through years of practice.
Using exclamation points is greatly frowned upon unless for the purpose of awesome/dramatic/life-and-death battle scenes, and using them with question marks is even more taboo.
(Much like the reaction of someone who has invested millions in a promising stock, only for the stock to suddenly go bankrupt because of insider trading: indignant, disappointed, annoyed at how much time was spent on an ultimately fruitless endeavor.
If, um, there were such things as a stock market in the Elemental Nations.)
(But seriously, she really, really hates socializing.
Call it a lingering remnant of her shyness-at-before-age-3 if you'd like, but she really, really hates it.
It'd be deliberately misleading to label her as 'shy' at the age of 13; all 'shyness' has been thoroughly beaten out of her through the years of trying to live up to the title of Hyuuga Heiress.
She is, however, still a very private person who values her privacy very much.
Privacy is a big issue in the occupation of ninjakind. Also, a big advantage.
Let's just agree that, for her to willingly socialize with the Uchiha is a tremendous freakin' deal, okay?
And no, she doesn't exactly socialize with the Uzumaki, because her definition of 'socialization' means being in another's presence without third-party pressure or training or concerning ninja duties or with any discernible non-emotional payment, preferably including food of some sort, and extra points for something relaxing.
[Another bonus of food is that if it's too awkward/boring, it's always possible to simply concentrate on busying one's hands with utensils and excusing oneself from talking by eating.
And it's food.
Hinata may not look like it, but she can appreciate good food.
She has partaken of various ridiculously expensive dainty delicacies before, as befits the formal occasions the Hyuuga Clan are often obliged to make a showing at, yet after grueling training sessions or missions, anything other than tasteless crunchy ration bars is a welcome relief.]
Team socialization is practically mandatory, as well, and is contributory to improving kinship, teamwork, and familiarity, all of which will improve their mission showings.
So there is a 'payment' of sorts.
Or maybe that's just Hinata trying to justify everything to herself.
Yeah, probably.
You may have noticed her miserable coping techniques and commendable ability to lie excellently to herself.
Kinda hard to miss.)
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Shino's reaction is much the same as her first one: he didn't know the Uchiha that well, nothing beyond mere acquaintance as a fellow Konoha ninja and 'rookie', and thus only is disapproving because of the principle of the matter.
Ditching the village is a huge no-no, and, put into Aburame terms, is like an member deciding to rebel against their hive, striking off on their own.
They won't last very long, most likely, and it's just foolish to ignore the 'strength in numbers' mentality, as well as astonishingly ungrateful for the careful upbringin and safe environment of the freely provided hive.
So, yes, indignant for the principle of the matter.
All Konoha ninjas have slogged through their fair share of Academy pro-Konoha propaganda; at this age and rank, even joking about leaving the village is treated with utmost shock and severe consequences on account of suspected treason.
If the right people (or, rather, the wrong people) hear you saying something slighting against Konoha that bears the faintest chance of future abandonment, you'll be hauled off to T & I in a Shunshin instant.
Political armor, occurring when you are a high-profile/important individual or under the backing of a high-profile/important indiviual, can only ward you against so much.
(A certain brown-haired Mokuton-wielding expert-of-the-Flashlight-Scary-Face© made it out of a certain shadowy organization because of the interest garnered from a certain pipe-smoking possibly-senile monkey-summoner and a certain silver-haired ANBU Captain.
A certain yellow-haired [because it's not really blond, c'mon let's be honest, it's freaking yellow] seal-inscribed expert-of-the-Orange-Jumpsuit-Pranking-Stealth-Mode was not ever approached by a certain shadowy organization because of the vehemently emphasized protection from a certain robe-wearing possibly-stalker staff-user.
Every Clan Heir/Heiress is under a label of too-risky and too-public to kidnap/recruit into a certain shadowy organization, since it stands to reason that their Clan would very loudly protest having arguably the most valuable child of the next generation stolen, and very permanently end the people responsible for the theft.
[There are always those idiotic, foolhardy, stupidly-brilliant few who dare to try and kidnap one of them anyway, since a successfully kidnapped, young-enough-to-be-brainwashed Clan Heir/Heiress is worth their weight in explosive tags.
Which results in a spectacle such as the Hyuuga Affair.
Bloodline theft is a serious matter, and wars have been fought over such matters before the first ninja villages were established.]
As for Uchiha Sasuke...
Being the 'Last [Loyal] Uchiha' and a certifiable Bearer-Of-Good-Genetics-And-Looks-And-Talent-And-Money [though not, unfortunately, a good personality of any sort], that means he is the sole inheritor of a richly noble history and, more treasured in the eyes of the Konohagakure Convening Councils [both the civilian and ninja ones], the sole hope for repopulating the Clan of an extremely-coveted Kekkei Genkai.
'Lenient' is a vast understatement regarding the view of the majority of Konoha towards Uchiha Sasuke.
Probably the worst fear of the Councils is that their 'golden gander', so to say, will one day decide to waddle off in search of finer flocks to join.
And...
Now that worst fear is realized, and the weapon they sacrificed much to hone has turned against them.
Not quite irony, but close enough to count.)
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(train, copy, corrections, habit)
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Okay.
The first Hyuuga-Uchiha joint-training session in probably forever.
She can totally do this.
Yes.
'How am I supposed to do this?'
(It's not even because it's Hyuuga and Uchiha the famed rivaling Clans, it's because the Uchiha Clan is down to one petulant and irrational and seriously messed-up angsting child that the Hyuuga [who is but a child herself] doesn't quite know how to handle.)
It sounded so simple and sensible before.
Training.
Training is so simple and sensible, right?
Or at least it is for her.
Go out to the Hyuuga training grounds, practice some Jyuuken stances and test some Byakugan theories.
Go out to the Academy training grounds, practice some non-Jyuuken moves and test some weapon corrections.
Go out to the public training grounds, practice some chakra control exercises and test some meditation experimenting, while keeping the Byakugan active to memorize the chakra actions of those going through ninjutsus/genjutsus, as well as keep an eye out for any useful taijutsu moves.
Go out to the private training grounds, practice some (copied) technique recreation and test some personal ideas.
Simple, sensible.
(Technically, if the Hyuuga had ever decided to become ninjutsu/genjutsu users, they could very easily become masters.
They have the large chakra pools, the refined control, and the Byakugan to see chakra fluctuations.
If they simply recreate the chakra fluctuations in the right way, then they will have just copied a technique, much like their bitter rivals bearing the Sharingan.
The only problem is remembering all the different fluctuations and techniques without the photographic memory of the Uchiha, which makes it much harder.
Recreating a jutsu without knowing the seals, too, takes far more time and effort, and therefore they can't simply glimpse a technique in battle with their Byakugan and then miraculously produce it a few seconds later.
It may take several careful, purposeful looks to commit a technique's chakra movements completely to memory.
Although, on one hand, you would then have a completely seal-less technique, making it impossible for anyone other than another Hyuuga or an Uchiha to copy it, and on the other hand, it's completely possible to simple see the technique a second time and remember the hand-seals.
And it would probably make them even more unpopular, since no-one likes a technique-stealer [the very definition of an Uchiha to most enemy nations], even though that's basically the job of spies during peacetime and everyone during wartime.)
Occasionally she teaches Hanabi, which was the equally simple and sensible matter of sparring and correcting poses.
Now how to train a brat who is trying to become less of a brat?
… Wing it?
Winging it it is.
Just follow what her instructors would have done to a new Hyuuga student.
"I will first evaluate your skills. Run through all of your jutsus and katas, then show me the best of your weapon-handling abilities."
He complies easily, probably at least in part because of the flat ordering tone she copied from her Hyuuga-senseis.
She activates her Byakugan and carefully observes how his chakra reacts throughout his demonstration.
Textbook-perfect
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20. Rebirth
(School!AU)
Everything was so drab.
Drab and dull and dingy.
The world was drab and dull and dingy, no matter how much people attempt to cover it up with glittering gold and shining silver, buying up beauty and trading off triteness.
Born in the cradle of luxury as one of the famed Uchiha, his circumstances did not change his worldview.
People were naught but a few steps up from animals, and deluding themselves was only a shallow film of color over the gray of life and death and existing.
Really, young children best displayed the core instincts of a human, at their savage best and shameless worst, before they grew and matured and muted their reflexes with the expectations of 'society'.
'Society' is just a word, an agreement by majority to certain rules, certain taboos, certain ways of acting and behaving and empathizing.
(Empathy can be devoid of sympathy; sympathy can be lacking of empathy.)
He always felt like there was something wrong about this world.
Some unfixable inherent wrongness.
Life should be faster-paced,
Brighter.
Intenser.
Adrenaline-fueled joy of being alive and breathing.
Not…
This.
Then he met Naruto, the blond heir to Namikaze-Uzumaki Industries (Nami-Maki), the up-and-coming new trade partner with Uchiha Enterprises, and he felt so familiar like he's definitely seen him before.
A splotch of vivid yellow in a greyscale world, even if he was an idiot.
(He was also his best friend and worst enemy combined into one pint-sized package of hyperactivity on caffeine.
Ramen-flavored caffeine.)
The intercom crackled on.
"We have landed. Repeat, we have landed. Katsu Airlines would like to wish you a good afternoon, and would like to remind all passengers that, when getting off, you should proceed in a calm and orderly manner. Katsu Airlines would also like to remind all passengers that, as always, art is an explosion, but do not worry, Katsu Airlines' planes will never explode, because then Hunter Banking will cut off their clay funding. Katsu Airlines' partner, Scorpion Motors, would like to add that their founder Deidara is an idiot of epic proportions whose concept of art is flipped. That is all."
After sitting through the strangely long and not-at-all-reassuring intercom message, he lugged his carry-on out of the compartment, and strolled off the plane, barely making it to the nearby bench before a loud voice hailed him.
"Oy! Broody teme!"
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27. Colors
On the color spectrum, there are infinities of colors captured.
In equations, a whole new shade of a color can always be created, even if the difference between an existing 'named color' and the newly created color is blind to the naked eye.
As a fictional character once astutely summed up, "some infinities are larger than others".
Very true.
The Byakugan is truly quite a uniform color, with no variation other then the occasional tint on the blank chalkiness of the much-acclaimed Doujutsu, from outsiders marrying in and managing to somewhat overpower the dominant white-eye genes.
('Much-acclaimed', because to be honest, there were more threats of Sharingan theft than there were of Byakugan theft.
Really, after the first Shinobi World War, only Kumo kept on persisting in their efforts to land a Byakugan.
Everyone else gave it up as a bad job, on account of their firsthand or secondhand experience with the paranoia of the Hyuuga; the Cursed Seal of the Caged Bird, to witnesses, was an undeniably harsh and controlling and effective safety-measure.
Too much trouble to unravel without triggering several dozen fail-safes built in, especially with the possibility of their hard-won captive dying by a remote death-trigger.
The only way to get a Byakugan would be to somehow find an unused way of circumventing the rigid seal, or to kill/capture a Main House member, who were all unsealed.
Main House members were, as a rule, all viciously strong and mercilessly ruthless; hardened veterans of combat who were good enough to live far past the typical ninja life expectancy.
Their corpses were also swiftly recovered and warily guarded, before heading off to the incineration chambers. In cases of wartime, Main House members would often booby-trap their possessions and themselves to explode upon their death.
So, killing a Main House member wasn't exactly viable, and capturing one wasn't viable either, as once they were past a certain age, or if they were high-up enough to be heavily involved in their Clan, then they were kept away from risky missions and kept secure in the Compound/Konohagakure.
At least...
Killing/Capturing a Main House adult wasn't.
Killing/Capturing a Main House child...
It would be difficult getting past the alert squadrons of bodyguards and patrollers, but once one got to the actual child, there was little theoretical resistance to be found.
Perhaps that was what convinced Kumo that it was a plan worthy of a try.)
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32. Mist
His new teammates always smelled very... interesting.
Well, his sensei ostensibly never wore perfume or used any scented toiletries, possibly even using a neat little genjutsu to mask her scent, because Kiba could never get a whiff of anything from her that wasn't emotion, the only thing not able to be masked.
(Possibly Kurenai had only begun this habit after hearing that she'd be training an Inuzuka on her prospective Genin tracking team. And Kiba knew for a fact that Team 10 was so definitely intended to be a tracking team.)
He knew what he smelled like, on an average training day: dog, family, whatever he ate recently, energy, earth, trees, fur and excitement and waiting.
Most Inuzuka smelled rather distinctly of fur.
The quiet Hyuuga always smelled of an assortment of different scents, mostly faded, probably from whatever bathroom routine she went through, flowery and fruity and sugary, a surprisingly girly array from the severe and neutral kunoichi.
Most Hyuuga smelled like that, actually, even the guys, although in hindsight it probably wasn't that shocking for the guys to smell so good as well (and wow did that come out wrong), since they all seemed to have long and impossibly perfect hair and skin.
Probably a Hyuuga thing, to take such careful care of their appearance.
Shino he's known from the Academy
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35. Knowing How
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36. Fork in the Road
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37. Nature's Fury
"Winter has come earlier this year," Hinata remarked idly, eyes rolling sideways to gaze out of the restaurant's window, one hand supporting her chin, and the other hand loosely clacking together her chopsticks.
"Weather trends would indicate that, yes," Shino agreed at her side, sedately making his way through his wild grass salad and winter melon.
She moved her eyes to watch his meal for a moment, and then returned to her vigil of the window, and the snowstorm outside.
Her teammate's food choices weren't her concern, so long as they weren't poisoned.
A warmth traversed her body, nestling in her stomach, as she took a sip of her steaming zenzai, looking down at the red beans in the soup.
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43. Party
"The greatest force in the world," Asuma had once told his Genin very seriously, "is an Akimichi's cooking. And free food in general."
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"The greatest force in the world," Kakashi had once told his Genin very seriously, "is devastating blackmail. And bribery in general."
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"The greatest force in the world," Kurenai had once told her Genin very seriously, "is the subtle art of persuasion. And convincing coercion in general."
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"THE GREATEST FORCE IN THE WORLD," Gai had once told his Genin very passionately, "IS THE POWER OF THE FLAMES OF YOUTHFULNESS!"
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Therefore, when Ino and Kiba decided to throw a "Yay-We-Aren't-Dead-From-The-Invasion" party, and managed to drag both Sakura and Tenten into it as well, they combined the lessons of their senseis to devastating effectiveness in getting all the Konoha 12 to agree to come.
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45. Stirring of the Wind
Naruto's windchime is a ragtag ol' thing, gifted to him by the Konohamaru Squad + 1 (Hanabi) for one of the past New Year's.
It's ragtag, but it's also beautiful, because the work put into it is visible.
They all contributed a bit of the material, and presumably had Hanabi put it all together, since she has the best dexterity of them all.
Konohamaru gave the carved silver saucer, flipped upside-down for the cover, thoroughly cleaned of all remnants, now leaving only the faintly sweet scent of well-aged sake.
Moegi donated carefully saved strips of oddly twisted metal and heat-warped bronze or copper.
Udon put forth his best feathers and most brilliant cloth samples, delicately weighted with smooth grey pebbles.
And Hanabi had volunteered the strongly woven silk thread used to 'stitch' the pieces into completion.
(Really, at this point, she's just not part of the K-Squad because 1., she prefers to be her own boss, and 2., it's more fun riling them up as the antagonist.)
Everyone helped in gathering the prettiest riverstones and picking out glass marbles from shops, and Naruto was informed that more than a few had unfortunately been destroyed in the process of figuring out how to drill a hole clean through them.
(In the end, they asked Hanabi to ask her sister to help, and Hinata had given it a go with a needle-thin chakra-pierce. She'd graciously consented to drilling the rest of the pieces as well, claiming she needed more precision practice, anyway.)
The windchime looks strange and often lopsided.
It does it's job well, though, and when he needs peace to muse over his thoughts, he lays on his back and watches the windchime hung above his window.
Light hits it and tumbles out in sparkles and rainbows refracted, bruised differently with each sway and clang-ching-tong-tink.
Always changing.
Ragtag for what it's made of, beautiful for how it's made.
Beautiful for the love put into the production.
It tells him he's wanted in Konoha, and that, more than anything else, gives him the peace of mind he's forever searching for.
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59. Boundaries
Sasuke doesn't feed the cats out of love.
He feeds them out of habit now, more than anything.
Actually, he never liked the cats much.
They used to frighten him with their claws and fangs and hissing and unpredictability.
But the Uchiha had had close ties with the nin-cats, and That Man had had a particular affinity and fondness for them, so he had sucked up his fear and learned to love them.
(Learned things are quickly unlearned.)
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63. The True You
Once a month, Kakashi buckles down and tells his Genin life lessons with a hard, grave voice.
He usually follows it up with a practical test, given in a more lighthearted manner.
Today, it's motives.
"Everyone has a motive for doing what they do. It can be motive that seems silly to you, but which is equitable to a life-or-death matter in their perspective. Predicting someone's actions by understanding their motives and personality can be accurate to a certain extent.
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64. Pretense
"Today, students, we will be playing Capture-The-Flag instead of the afternoon spars."
Hinata's eyes discreetly glanced out the window at what could be glimpsed of the 'playground'.
('Playground', as in a glorified training course to condition the mentally susceptible young children.
Ah, the fine establishment of the Academy.
Molding minds since the Nidaime's time.)
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70. A Place to Belong
(Hogwarts!AU)
Briefly, in that year's Welcoming Feast:
"However, a fourth school of magic, and a rather reclusive one at that, has contacted us to join the Triwizard Tournament in the interest of improving global diplomacy in magicks. Apart from Durmstrang and Beauxbatons, this year we will also be joined by our friends at the Elemental 5 Academy, who have informed us that they will provide their own housing and training grounds for their hand-picked contingent in case of room issues. Naturally, we have plenty of room, as the majestic Hogwarts is quite good in that area of expansion, but they insisted they feel it would be politer to not infringe overly so on our hospitality. As the two other schools presumably plan to follow Elemental 5 Academy's lead in procuring their own housings, this is simply a notice that none of you have to worry about sharing dormitory space."
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(chakra trick anecdotes, cont.)
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[Age -?-]
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-firming the ground underfoot to prevent loud noises or clinging underbrush (earth/fire*)
-hardening the epidermis layer of skin to lessen superficial injuries and lessen the severity of deeper injuries (yang, unconscious)
-coagulating blood faster to scab quicker and slow bleeding (yang, unconscious)
-faster information absorption and implementing rate after a shocking or traumatic event (yin, unconscious)
-sparking neurons to fire faster and increase reaction and thought speed (lightning)
-whisking off dust (wind)
-cleaning the superficial layer of grime from clothes and/or person (wind primary, depending on severity there may be water and fire and earth mixed in, although no one has ever needed lightning yet)
-heating/boiling a liquid, often used to purify drinking water of most impurities when on an extended mission (fire)
-increasing blood flow and cell production to speed up healing time (yang, unconscious)
-softens the ground underfoot to limit alerting noises (earth/water*)
-charging batteries (lightning)
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(no summary yet)
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"Chakra control."
Naruto pouts, and stretches his arms behind him.
"Awwww, really? But Hinata-chan, that's so boooooring. When ya gonna teach me all those super-awesome-really-cool jutsus, huh? Huh?"
She stares at him blankly, like she doesn't quite understand his words.
"If you do not have good chakra control, you will never be able to perform many jutsus. You have terrible chakra control, but that is merely-"
"'Meer-lee'?"
"'Merely', as in 'just', or 'only', or 'simply'."
"Oh, okay!"
"As I was saying, your terrible chakra control is merely because of your vast chakra reserves. Which means you have a lot of chakra, Uzumaki," she explains before he can interrupt again.
"How much chaztpa?"
"'Chakra', not 'chaztpa'. And as I would estimate..."
She made a seal-thingy with her hands and whispered something, making her eyes go into that freaky ghost state that she said can see through a lot of stuff.
"You have more chakra right now, as a 6-year-old, than most Jounin do. It is understandable that it is harder for you to control it, since you have not learned how to control it yet, and those Jounin have practiced for more than your current lifespan in order to reach their rank."
Her voice sounds kinda impressed; Naruto beams proudly, even if he doesn't quite get why.
Lotsa chaztpa- um, chakra, is good, right?
Because he's gonna be the bestest ninja ever, which means he needs lots and lots of cool jutsu, which, according to Hinata, means he needs lots of chakra.
But...
Where does this 'control' fit in?
Naruto almost doesn't ask, because all the meany adults hate when he asks questions and they get really mad and make him go outside no matter if it's raining or not, but even though Hinata talks like an adult, she isn't mean, and she's always answered all of his questions, even when he can't understand some stuff she says and she has to say it again.
(Really, he's so happy that finally he has someone to play with and talk to, like- like- like a friend of his own.
He thought it was too good to be true when he sat near her for lunch a few months ago, and she didn't say anything about it.
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(in hiashi's defense)
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[Age 12]
Hyuuga Hiashi is many things.
He does not have time to list all of those things.
Suffice to say, however, he is well aware of his firstborn's animosity towards him, no matter how carefully she curtails it behind respectful words and obedient actions and just-inquiring-enough subtle rebellion.
d
d
d
[Age 11]
[Age 10]
[Age 9]
[Age 8]
[Age 7]
d
dd
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[Age 6]
Darkness sprawls over the Hyuuga Compound, dragged hither by the resigned grasp of Night.
Dozens, no, hundreds of alabaster orbs glint by candlelight, ghostly berobed figures silently circling below the marble altar in the ivory-plated gazebo, draped exclusively in snowy purity.
Three outer rings sweep right-left-right in neverending motion and rustling cloth.
A fourth, inner ring, stands stationary guard around the gazebo, carrying forth the waxen rods that appeared to pray for flickering fickle fire.
Unnatural white-hot flames contorted, twisted wicks impaling them, anchoring them, their frayed edges curling off into grayed smoke, destined to be carried up into the vast gaze of the starry heavens overhead.
There is a brief shuffle, smooth and soft, as the rings give way, pausing, parting, allowing four more similarly berobed figures entrance.
They glide across the paved pathway, light.
Ascending the slick curved steps, slight.
Stepping to a halt under the shelter of the gazebo roof, bright.
Hiashi takes up his spot on one side of the glassy, glossy marble table,
"crystals within
our gaze
diamond-sight cuts
through haze
seeing further
than one can hear
clearing dangers
none to fear
we are
the dragonborn
from seer-prophet kami
we are torn
open-palmed lifelines
genteel
a tap
death swifter
than slick steel
eyes behold
polished pearls
clarity unfold
reality unfurls
power bestowing whole
new worlds
divine snowfall yielding
Bearers of sin
inner madness
and the One that swirls
breeze of surety
stone of strength
river of soul
light of sense
flame of spirit
raise your head
towards the sun
praise the moon
when tales are spun
sun in heart
moon in head
stars under skin
shining lifethreads
ribbons of blue
are how victory
is won
red on white
blossoming from fingertips
from flattened palms
make them bleed
make them surrender
we are survivors
crafting pyres
we are victors
quieting desires
we are detectors
unmasking liars
we are Hyuuga
building fires
Hyuuga
Is
You
Me
I
We
togetherness in unity as one as all as us
clan is kin is comrade
This is the vow of the Hyuuga."
Hinata exhales, deep and slow and content, something settling warm and heavy all around her.
She closes her eyes, bows her head, and presses her hands into a prayer position.
The sing-song chanting, fallen to a single, lonesome call, echoes around them.
"This is my vow to the Hyuuga.
Will the Hyuuga accept my vow?"
There is a moment of silence.
(Not tense, not expectant, just relaxed and satisfied and dreamy.
What happens next will happen.
It is a part of the Hyuuga rites that has never been analyzed or overly inspected, from lingering, subconscious knowledge that looking too closely will not help understanding arrive.)
Then the large, elegant silk scroll glows blue, a brisk wind curls through the courtyard, and the simple candle set by the scroll bursts into a steady, unwavering white-hot flame at the same time as all of the other candles extinguish.
Strangely enough, the candle does not appear to be melting the wax or giving off any heat, th
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(trembling fingers of a furtive friendship)
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[Age 3]
Her first real, non-relation acquaintance Hinata will willingly call a 'friend', is a Branch House Hyuuga member who's 10 years older than her and aspires to be a librarian.
(Odd ones out, is that the saying?)
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Hyuuga Hisoka is utterly unambitious in almost everything.
He strives to live a peaceful, calm, and hopefully rather long life, even as he accepts the reality of his inevitable fate.
Fate is kinda a really big deal in the Hyuuga Clan, in the Branch House especially, where they spend each day laboring for the Main House, and have no lack of time to mull over how their birthtime, maybe merely a few minutes off, is the only differentiating mark between the sealed and the sealers.
No lack of time to become resigned, become understanding, become indifferent, become bitingly bitter.
Hisoka likes to think that he is a well-balanced mixture of the former three.
Resigned to his position in life, knowing from the start of his childhood that he'd be sealed as soon as the next Heir/Heiress turns 3,
He also likes to think that he is a remarkably pragmatic individual possessing the common sense that is so uncommon in a ninja-populated world.
(Any world, really; Hisoka reads, and that includes more fantasy novels than he'd admit to.
Even in a chakra-less world, often imagined by various authors of varying renown to have wondrous technologies and many Amegakure-like cities, it seems there is always good, always bad, always that idiotic portion of the population that ought to be culled under the labelled claim of 'gene-pool cleansing for the greater good'.
Ahem, in the authors' opinions, of course. Hisoka is… neutral, on his opinions of the so-called 'greater good' theory.
Because, well, then is there a lesser good?
A greater and lesser bad?
What is good and bad?)
(Neutral on his opinions, but passionate nevertheless in his neutrality, and endless in regards to his opinions' topics.)
Bookish, intellectual Hisoka is not exactly alone in his… liberal, free-spirited thoughts among Konoha residents.
In the Taijutsu-emphasized, close-lipped Hyuuga Clan, however, he sure feels like it.
So maybe it's an inner want for company, so maybe it's an empathetic surge of pity, so maybe it's knowing that the Main House lodgings are at least five minutes away, and will probably take about 200% longer to get to when every part of you aches and there's mud where there should never be mud and oh freakin' kami why won't the kami-damned water-from-above very-much-unwanted-impromptu-soaking stop already?
(Um, ahem, this time in Hisoka's own opinions. And they may or may not be based off of prior torturous experience, from extra-extra-extra training sessions aimed to 'rectify' his subpar Jyuuken abilities.)
Either way, something makes him hold open his door, scroll tucked safely underarm, and call in the downtrodden Heiress as she miserably drags her shivering self across the slickly wet courtyard cobblestones, under the humid downpouring summer rain, on her doleful way to rest.
(Or perhaps she always looks that doleful, like somebody died from driving off a cliff to avoid a cat, and that cat was hers, and her cat died too, from shock.
Hisoka wouldn't know.
He's not old enough, talented enough, or trusted enough [don't be bitter, he reminds himself, don't be bitter because bitterness clouds the heart, fogs the mind] to be on any sort of Heiress-guarding duty, and thus has only caught fleeting glimpses of the Heiress.
Usually drifting around the Compound and accompanied by caretakers, or at formal ceremonies, when she trembles behind her mother [Hitomi-sama] and is occasionally pushed in front by her father [Hiashi-sama] for a few moments.
Although, what with the whole 'kidnapping incident' a few weeks ago, sightings of her frequenting the training grounds and poring over an open scroll in shady spots have risen quite a bit.
Motivation found, ne?)
It's worth it, though, to see her impossibly large opalescent eyes (the one thing truly tying the divided Clan together) get even larger and ooze pathetic gratefulness.
Even as they trickle out thinly veiled confusion and wariness, clearly wondering why someone would help her, much less one of the usually resentful Branch House members.
He wants to say something like, "Well? Are you coming inside or what? I don't have all day, and you're getting wetter by the second out in that torrent."
That would be unspeakably rude, however, and more importantly, if anyone heard him and reported it, he'd get 'seal-zapped'.
(The Heiress herself is rather unlikely to use the seal, or report it to anyone.
From what he's picked up from Compound chatter (because, of course, the Hyuuga are far too dignified to stoop down to 'gossiping' level), the Heiress is widely considered 'soft' and 'the bleeding-heart type'.
Not good for any ninja, much less one expected to lead the future Hyuuga Clan, a Clan of criticizers and nitpickers and superiority-complex egomaniacs who are all unfairly attractive and ridiculously skilled with a tendency to churn out emotionally-flat and socially-repressed genii every few generations.
Hey, Hisoka thinks it like he sees it.
Though, of course, he's not suicidal enough to say any of what he thinks or sees aloud.)
randome stuff here fill in
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One key characteristic, and some would say 'flaw', of the Hyuuga Clan's signature Jyuuken style, is the practitioner's tendency to stand their ground.
They are taught to hold their position, moving very little, and to block or counter instead of running away, since fleeing is seen as defeat, defeat is seen as weakness, and the Hyuuga Clan despise weakness above everything else, even traitors.
Even dodges are trained to be performed with minimal movement, conserving their energy for the precise sort of chakra handling needed to go on the aggressive offense typical of most Jyuuken katas.
randome stuff here fill in
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It is the day before her fourth birthday and she is thrilled, carefully and quietly thrilled, because her birthday means another day of sitting demurely in a room full of too-noisy too-loud Clan children bearing gifts she didn't want while her father spoke with their parents and did political things and her mother lay weakly in her bed waiting for her to visit, yes, but the day after her birthday means a day off.
Hisoka said he'd be back late today, and that he would show her the basics of cooking something other than boiled-water-with-things-tossed-in-and-flavoring-stock/soup.
Her mother likes hearing about her various kitchen exploits on her journey of food-crafting, a skill she can't teach Hinata herself on account of her movement-restricted state.
(It makes her face go all droopy and her smile shrink and her hands freeze limp when she thinks about all of those skills she can't teach her daughter personally, so Hinata eagerly regales her with another tale with amplified cheer, trying to beat back her mother's sadness for another visit.)
Then her father calls her in to his study.
"Hinata," her father says, looking at her with deep eyes, deeper and strangely warmer than his usual cold appraisal, casting an odd sort of something that held the potential to be very thin empathy, perhaps some nascent sympathy.
"Hinata," he repeats, firmer and more forcefully this time when she doesn't answer, his callused, broad hands grasping her own twiggy, clearly-veined ones with a delicate kind of fragility, like this is a first one for him, this concept of 'consolation' vaguely existing just outside of his understanding.
"Hyuuga Hisoka is a Branch member of our Clan. He is nonetheless of our Clan. When a member is presumed missing in action, and likely either grievously injured or otherwise disabled, Clan policy is to... extinguish them, to prevent bloodline theft. There is not a better way to word that. Any Hyuuga would see it as a mercy to die rather than to unwillingly aid in bloodline theft, whether through terrible experiments or non-consensual... bearing or siring of children. Those children will not lead happy lives, Hinata, and likely he will not live long enough to even know of them. Do you understand this, Hinata? This is a truth of ninja life."
His voice is surprisingly gentle, solemn, cupping her uncontrollably trembling fingers.
"It would be a comfort. Quite possibly his only possible comfort before the final comfort of the Shinigami's kingdom. Would you not grant him that last possible comfort? It will be your duty as Clan Head. And... as a... friend."
There is a slight stress on 'duty', a slight twist about the intonation of 'Clan Head', a slight uncertain cadence to the tremor of 'friend.'
Subtle, subconscious.
He does not seem to notice.
She does.
Hinata closes her eyes.
'Is this my way to becoming strong, to becoming Heiress? After Heiress is Head...'
"Yes, Otou-sama," she murmurs in a very small tone, her words falling mechanically.
Guiding her fingers through the necessary seals, her father steps closer.
A pause happens mid-way on the last seal.
"Now," he says softly, an expression she can't see with her eyes closed on his face, "you will feel several hundred glowing dots, correct?"
Her nod confirms it, because she does not trust her words to convey the heady, faintly obscuring rush of warmthlightlife.
The shine of a night sky is just the ghost's breath of dead and dying stars, but they are glorious in their passing nonetheless.
"Those are all of the sealed Hyuuga. All of the Branch House. Concentrate on thinking his name. It helps to picture his appearance what memories you have of him."
Another nod, shallower this time, faintly distracted.
How to pick a gold fleck, a dust speck, out of a madly thrumming galaxy's wreck?
"You should be narrowing in on a particular dot. When there is a single dot left, it will enlarge into what he would look like if you viewed him through the Byakugan. That is, his body outline and chakra circulation system. Push chakra to your hands and finish the seal to complete it."
Hesitation.
Hiashi, patient, steps back and takes away his hands.
Hinata needs to do it herself.
Fingers shaking madly the entire way, she slowly, slowly, finishes the seal.
He wonders when she will notice she's crying, as he watches her stumble down the hallway in a hasty, half-blinded departure, her built-up composure crumbled.
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Somewhere in between the borders of the Land of Frost and the Land of Lightning, a feverish, forcibly sedated barely-teen passes away silently in a caravan.
Five minutes later, on a periodic check-up, the guards of the merchant wagon curse viciously under their breath upon finding the corpse, the dull light from the cover-skins reflecting off their slashed hitai-ate.
"So much for that bounty from Kumo."
"Yeah."
The body, fast-cooling, is unceremoniously stripped of valuables and then pushed off the quick-moving vehicle, landing in the mounds of power-sugar snow glittering everywhere in the Land of Frost, left behind within seconds.
The body cools even faster, and is soon piled over by snow and frozen in perfect preservation.
Such is the way of unfeeling nature.
If one would melt the Land of Frost's snowdrifts, they'd find a country-wide cemetery, burial grounds dedicated to the lost, the forsaken, the forgotten.
Snow is pretty.
Beautiful.
Gentle.
Not nice.
Nobody ever mistook snow to be nice.
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Hinata is rather quiet on her fourth birthday, even for her.
She absently accepts another present, thanks the giver with a polite nod and some soft, meaningless pleasantries easily sliding off her lips, returning swiftly to her somber thoughts.
Hisoka...
That seal.
There has to be a better way than that seal.
Her fingers ache with phantom pain and the heaviest burden of all.
Guilt.
What a powerful, powerful thing guilt is.
It all went back to seals.
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(a mission, kiba gets thinking, here be nobles, smiling slits 'n a slash)
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[Age 14]
"Team 8, you have been assigned a mission. Please report to the Hokage's office and await entry. He will be briefing you."
"Whoah, seriously!?"
"The chances of someone managing to procure a genuine mission-scroll canister, the correct ink and paper, the authentic validation seals, and both acquire a Konoha messenger hawk and convince it to play along, solely for the purpose of a joke, are incredibly slim. Ergo, it is indeed serious, in the sense that the message is truly a 'real' mission assignment. Or, as 'real' as any of us are, to be more exact, since one can never grasp for sure if we are but butterflies dreaming ourselves to be humans."
"That's deep," Hinata acknowledges, smiling faintly at the reference that probably passes completely over her less stoic teammate's head.
She then side-eyes said less stoic teammate.
"And now that we have safely established that this message is most likely not a very high-quality forgery, may I commence my reading of the letter?"
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Kiba somehow succeeds in creating an expression of simultaneous grumbling, pouting, shivering, and embarrassment.
Amused/Accused Side-Eye Guilt Look, activate!
Also, Hinata is scary when she goes back to her super-polite and super-formal speech.
The Inuzuka Heir has learned this unexplainable lesson after many months being on the same team as the "Ice Queen/Princess".
They aren't in the Academy anymore, but she doesn't say anything when he starts nicknaming her 'Princess', first in scorn of her so-seen haughtiness, second in teasing of her thawing 'ice-cold' veneer, third in affection born of comradeship and the bonds between a Genin Squad.
See? Wow, even hanging around her has caused some of her wordiness to rub off on him. Shino's wordiness doesn't help, either, especially since Kiba couldn't understand half of what they were saying in the beginning in their ultra-intellectual smarty-pants 'discussions'.
All in good fun, still.
(Hey, now he can understand 3/4 of what they're babbling on about!
That right there?
That's progress.
Plus, he's kinda convinced that they're just making up words now.
Because really, what's a 'crepuscular'?
Or a 'nebbish'?
Or 'petrichor', 'ultracrepidarian', 'zeugma', 'chiasmus', 'nesh', 'synecdoche', 'persiflage', 'chthonic', 'panglossian', 'paralipsis', 'I am not prolix', 'dunandunate', 'tmesis'.
He's surprised he even remembers how to pronounce all of those words.)
It's been months, and it's been fun months.
Kiba can honestly say that they're friends, now, good ones.
Kurenai has adjusted to teaching, Hinata has relaxed her tension, Shino has learned teamwork, and Kiba has figured out their pack order.
Having that sense of settlement, of safety, has calmed him as well, since he no longer has to test the unfamiliar boundaries each one of his new 'pack' set.
(They were all testing each others' boundaries, slowly molding themselves to the people their lives will depend on, fitting each piece into the puzzle of peaceful coexistence.
Once those were understood, then they could begin the process of understanding each other, and not just their boundaries.
By the end, Team 8 is a fluid network of collaborating machines, working separately to synchronize the whole, not well-oiled and not perfectly-honed but as close to it as the inexperienced determined Genjutsu specialist can achieve in less than a year.)
Alpha automatically falls to Kurenai, his sensei, his all-around superior in ninjahood, his seniority superior out of ninjahood.
When the Alpha is away, the Beta makes sure the others don't play.
And if they do, well, the Beta makes sure they pay.
So that's Hinata, the strongest and maybe smartest of their initially ragtag trio.
Strength to keep them in line, smarts to use that strength well, steely steadfastness to lead them through hell or high water, and just enough offhandedly sly snark to startle them out of boredom.
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.
(Pressure points were vastly useful if one had the patience to memorize them and the discipline to properly learn disabling and enabling.
The Hyuuga had both virtues in well-bred strictly-trained spades, relying on it mostly as a back-up for when regular Jyuuken/chakra shots won't work or can't work.
As it was, Hinata often felt grateful for the edge it lent her in combat, when she could add a bit of extra versatility by switching unexpectedly between using tenketsu and using pressure points, which were slightly different.
Tenketsu points needed chakra to disable/enable, costing more to re-enable than disable, and were the ones that the heavily tradition-following Jyuuken-superiority-preaching members of the Hyuuga Clan preferred to stick to stubbornly, although it was required for every one of the Hyuuga to memorize both charts and placings, and there were comparatively modern and liberal members of the Clan who used each without reluctance.)
(Note: I had intended for this chapter to have Hinata experience a near-death attack. She'll survive, but she'll also have a mental breakdown from the bottled-up stress and strength issues, confronting the real reason why she's so obsessed with strength - she's afraid of a helpless death. Her team will also realize this, and then yay, team bonding and the emphasis that Hinata's not perfect.)
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(words, quoting, ease, hawks)
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[Age 12]
(There are multiple crossed-out words, crinkles, and smoothed creases, as well as oddly messy handwriting from the usually vastly-concerned-about-appearances Uchiha, as if he had written it in a hurry with cold hands and a harried heartbeat and a malfunctioning pen on a rough stone bench under dim moonlight.
Oh wait.
He did.)
.
Strikethrough: Dear Hello So Hyuuga Hinata-san Hyuuga Hinata
To Hinata,
I have gone to take advantage of what has been offered to me. I have shuttered my pride and seen that there is a person willing to give me instruction. It is like you have once told me, many years ago.
Strikethrough: With thoughts of you Sincerely My Regards Take care Stay strong Until next time When we meet again L o v e
From,
Sasuke Uchiha
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Hinata exhales slowly, after reading the piece of paper that had been delivered to her by one of the last remaining Uchiha-bred messenger hawks.
With the Uchiha now gone from the village, the hawks are likely to leave the compound, and disperse into the woods surrounding Konoha, since they now have no one tying them down.
Tying them down…
Yes, she had indeed said similar words to the Uchiha, many years ago, and recalls them being meant as advice.
Clearly, the Uchiha has remembered them well, and has purposely referenced those words.
Why?
A sardonic, 'taking-your-advice' insinuation?
A wry, 'it-all-goes-back-to-this' suggestion?
Ah.
Well.
Not her business anymore.
(It would be hypocritical of her to demur over his choice of mentor.
She is, in an indirect way, the one to suggest seeking out teachers and seizing any opportunity available in order to maximize knowledge gained.
So she'll accept that blame, and trade it off for not blaming the Uchiha.
There, a happy draw.)
Hinata's hand tingles, and in the next second, the paper is reduced to ash by the chakra directed from her palm.
She flips her hand over, scattering the charred flakes into the training ground's floor, and casually steps on-and-over them.
'Pity,' she muses, settling into a Gentle Fist stance that is a tad more aggressive than her usual fare, which is already aggressive enough.
'He was finally becoming a worthy sparring partner.'
Fingers flash forward, blue lights glint, and the training dummy explodes into shreds.
Hinata retracts her arm, breathes out steadily, steps to her left, and repeats the process, until the entire row of dummies are decimated.
Then she heads to her room without a glance back and requests for some tea to brought to her.
She plans to do some heavy studying up .
The Uchiha will return, she is sure of it.
(Sasuke will return.)
She plans to be well-prepared for that returning.
(As a second thought, Hinata mentally writes 'visit the Uchiha hawks' on her To-Do list.
Apparently, the Uchiha found no one sufficiently tying him down.
The least she can do is give his hawks something to tie them down.
They are, after all, such a remarkably fierce and loyal breed of fighters and scouts, once you earn their respect, as the Uchiha had once demonstrated to her, so proud was he of one of the last remaining legacies he possessed.
Like he possesses them no longer; leaving Konoha is as good as giving up his claim.
She may as well take up the duty.
The hawks are veritably summon-level, and are familiar with her, since the Uchiha often introduced her to the flock and let them watch as they sparred.
Such a valuable asset, if used properly, maintained in a happy state, kept healthily balanced.
[The same can be said of the Uchiha. Or, as his unofficial title seems to be, 'The Last Loyal Uchiha'.]
[Very pointedly, Hinata makes note of these parallels, and promptly erases the note from her mind.
Then she goes off to find some of those Forest of Death chakra-squirrels that the Uchiha hawks adore so much.
Great Jyuuken practice; defend herself from enemies, Byakugan-track the wriggly little bushy-tailed creatures, and hit them with a bolt of chakra expelled from a perfectly poised palm.
Also great for venting out subconscious anger.
… Just sayin'.])
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(how to spam bullshit)
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[Age 14]
Writing mission reports was not a job that any ninja particularly liked.
They accepted it as a tedious, necessary, hum-drum mundane task on the grand ol' checklist of life.
But they didn't have to like it.
Some were more amiable on the matter than others, complacently tackling each report like a top student tackling an extra-credit essay.
Some steadfastly anchored themselves into the realm of neutrality, professionally giving their report with everything required, nothing extra.
Some would prefer nothing more than to never have to write a single mission report ever again, and then it'd still be far too soon for another, their reports curt and short and probably generated without once glancing at the guidelines and layouts.
Team 8 was no different.
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Yuuhi Kurenai, Jounin, ID 010881
A-rank Theft, Code Specter
We departed
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.
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(swings, seals, steps, and snacks)
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[Age 6]
Research, research, research.
For the past two years, any bit of free time Hinata had that wasn't already allotted to her mandatory 'rests' had been dutifully designated to research concerning Fuuinjutsu and sealing in general.
History, theory, practitioners...
Anything she could scrounge up from the Hyuuga Library and the Konohagakure Public Library she read, analyzed, broke-down, and reanalyzed some more.
Research, research, research.
Hisoka had never left her mind, not really, just slightly shifted and nudged backwards a bit to make room for her new knowledge.
He was the 'drive' for her seals interest, the mental battery powering her determined devouring of all the sealing information that she dug her fingers into.
His much-beloved and much-frequented libraries saw a lot of her, nearly as 'lot' as the training grounds did.
Questions were asked, of course, pointed and prodding questions, about why exactly would the Hyuuga heiress-apparent be suddenly researching seals.
That whispered of a certain progressive attitude.
A certain progressive attitude that worried the Hyuuga Elders, the Council Elders.
Worried Elders were aggressive, suspicious, pushy Elders.
Her father inquired, one night over dinner, about her interest in seals.
She, prepared for months, smoothly reeled over her pre-made statement.
"I
"Aa," he said neutrally.
But the next day, he told her during breakfast that the Elders had backed off, and that she was free to continue her research.
Something of the approximate, anyway, just much more formal and with many more words.
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Welp, it was a good run, I think. But this is goodbye.
Thank you, readers. For everything.
