The next morning, Fawn is up and about at seven in the morning, taming her unruly waves and curls into a high ponytail. A nervous feeling settles on the pit of her stomach as she glances at herself in the mirror, silver eyes hard and determined. She'll train until exhaustion if that's what it takes to protect Gale, to help him survive. At the thought of the boy, a small smile appears on her lips. Gale would certainly survive – he's a natural at hunting and he covers his tracks well. Fawn's afraid that he'll have to be the one to protect her – that's why she'll train and train and train. She doesn't want to be a liability. A burden.
Her thoughts immediately lead her to the other tributes. The career boys and girls would surely be a difficult task – they trained all year for this and they're good at it. The thought that someone, a kid, is good at killing sends a chill down her spine. She'd have to be stealthy about it, corner them and hope for the best.
A gasp falls from her lips as soon as Fawn realizes what she's thinking. How can she be thinking of killing them so nonchalantly? Like they were mere, annoying flies, instead of the kids they are. Much like she is. The games haven't even started and they're already changing her, slowly but surely. She shakes all those unpleasant thoughts away, concentrating on getting something to eat before the training starts.
The dining room is already buzzing with voices, the excited career tributes being the source of most of the noise. On one of the most faraway tables, she spots Gale and she quickly joins him after grabbing an apple. He's gulfing down his breakfast like he hasn't eaten in days and Fawn can't help but to wince – they didn't get to eat much back home, except for the occasional rabbit or bird they caught back home and if they were lucky enough, a deer, so it's only natural they'd take the opportunity to eat more here. As she sits beside the muscular boy, the latter scrunches up his eyebrows and Fawn casts him a questioning look.
"That's all you're eating?" He seems concerned, confused that she wouldn't eat more, but she simply shrugs.
"With how nervous I'm feeling, I'm afraid I'll throw up my breakfast if I eat more than this."
"I got your back, don't worry." He says as he continues eating. That's what I'm nervous about, she thinks. She does her best to smile and murmurs a soft "thank you".
Once they're done eating, the peacekeepers that were keeping an eye on them all throughout breakfast (as if they'd do anything), lead them to the gym adjacent to the dining room. All the tributes stand in a circle as the trainers addressed them, explaining the different training stations and rules. They all looked so intimidating. Fawn starts feeling even more nervous and chews on her lower lip but ceases once she feels a supportive hand on her forearm. She casts a grateful smile at Gale whom returns it easily.
The tributes disperse once the trainers are done with their small speech and start wandering around the different stations, some of the younger kids immediately dashing towards stations like knots, camouflage and edible plants and insects while the career tributes go straight to the stations with the deadly weapons. The youngest seems to be a dark-skinned girl, whom appears to be no older than twelve. She recognizes her as the small girl from district 11. Her stomach churns and twists at the cruelty of it all. The little girl quietly walks towards the slingshot station and Fawn observes her for a while before shaking her head. She couldn't afford to form ties to anyone else. As she glances around, she notices Gale glaring at the tall blond from district 1, standing, unmoving, by her side. Fawn brushes her fingertips over the boy's hand and offers him a small smile before heading over to the knot station. As she sits beside two other kids, they look at her with a fearful gaze, eyes wide. They scramble away to other stations and Fawn sighs. The expert on the station asks if she needs help but she politely declines and passes most of the morning trying different kinds of knots (though failing at most of them). She eventually gets tired and joins Gale at the snares station.
"Still suck at making knots?" He asks with a teasing smile, never looking away from the snare he's preparing. Fawn scoffs, plopping unceremoniously onto the floor.
"Oh, shut it."
"And here I was thinking of helping you, but since you're being so rude…"
"Yeah, like you won't help me anyway." She states smugly, a wide grin on her lips. Gale lets out a soft laugh before they fall into a comfortable silence. Out of the corner of her eye, she notices the small girl from twelve watching them and she lets out a sigh, which immediately earns a questioning look from her childhood friend.
"She shouldn't be here." Fawn whispers as she glances once more at the small kid. The girl's eyes widen and she walks away quickly. Gale is about to question who she's talking about but follows Fawn's gaze and understands right away.
"I know. But there's nothing we can do." It's sad, but it's the truth. There's nothing a couple of kids can do and that angers her greatly. They shouldn't have to do anything, shouldn't have to be here. They should be having a happy life. It was not fair.
"If you keep doing that, you'll bleed." Gale's voice sounds from her side and she blinks quickly, eyebrows furrowing. There's a dull ache on her forearms and she's now aware that she was sinking her nails on her skin. Red, crescent moon-like marks stare back at her.
Before anything else can be said, the trainers tell all the tributes to stop and get lunch – almost all of them quickly scramble to the dining room, the more timid ones following them slowly and silently. With a heavy sigh, Gale pushes himself up before helping Fawn onto her feet.
Lunch is a quiet ordeal – the only noise being the happy chatter of the career tributes, mostly boasting about their skills. It almost sickens the raven haired girl. How could they be talking about it so lightly? A chill runs up her spine and Fawn feels like someone is burning holes onto her back. The teenager feels the urge to glance at the career tributes but once she does, she immediately regrets it. The tall blond – Cato, if she's not mistaken – is staring back at her with such a heated glare that she's afraid, for a millisecond, that she'll burst into flames and become dust. He has 23 other kids to glare at. Why her? Once again, she remembers her mother's words and shoots, what she hopes to be, an equally intense glare. Fawn feels a gentle squeeze to her elbow, pulling her attention back to her table. Gale's eyes are also trained on the other boy, eyebrows scrunched up and eyes narrowed but relaxes once he feels Fawn shift.
"Don't mind them." He offers with a small smile.
"I know, I know. It's just..."
"Weird?" He finishes with a knowing smile. At Fawn's surprised and confused expression, he laughs softly. "What? I'm not blind nor stupid, midget." Fawn promptly rolls her eyes.
"I know that. You're too observant sometimes."
"And you're not enough." Gale murmurs to himself but Fawn manages to hear him and it sends her mind into another whirlwind of thoughts. The tone of his voice, that unfamiliar emotion in his eyes yet again, the faint frown marring his handsome features – it all confuses her. It's not the usual Gale and an itching curiosity scratches at the back of her mind, but she's too afraid to question him – it's something new and Fawn doesn't know if she's ready for anything new at the moment. Not with her impending death right around the corner. So, she decides to ignore it and pretend she didn't hear anything at all.
"Well, change of topic. Have you thought of trying to form any alliances?" Fawn nibbles on her lip as she murmurs the question, not wanting anyone beside the two of them to hear it. Gale hesitates before answering in a hushed voice.
"I'm thinking about it… We all know that the career tributes are good allies in the sense they're some of the strongest ones around but… they could easily stab anyone's back. Figuratively or not." His eating pace slows down as he mulls over the question and they carry on in silence throughout the rest of their lunch, both deep in thought.
The first day of training ends with Gale helping Fawn with knots, going over the most useful ones repeatedly. When they finish, they're told to have dinner at their respective floors and rest. Fawn and Gale follow behind all the other tributes but the raven haired girl notices the small girl from earlier – Rue, if she's not mistaken –, hesitating and looking back at them. The younger is pulled by her hand by her tribute partner, whom also glances back with a narrowed glare. Fawn's eyebrows furrow. She shares a look with Gale before their gaze is broken by Haymitch calling and waving them over by the elevator.
"Can you two be any slower?" He drawls tiredly as the two tributes are close enough to hear him. Fawn rolls her eyes as they step inside the elevator.
"We could, but that would annoy you, wouldn't it? And we wouldn't want that." She replies with a sweet smile, earning a mock-warning nudge and a muffled snicker from Gale.
"You really can't judge a book by its cover, can you?" Haymitch sardonically asks with a hint of a smile on his lips. He receives a small shrug and a teasing smile which finally gets Fawn a genuine smile and a ruffle to her hair.
A shower is in order and after taking off every piece of clothing, Fawn doesn't waste any time to get under the warm stream of water. She washes herself quickly, only to stand there afterwards, unmoving, for what seems like hours. The warmth relaxes her mind and her body, it reminds her of her mother and friends back home. She doesn't cry. Not because she doesn't want to, she does – terribly so –, but Fawn feels like she can't cry anymore, like it's all dried up. She only gets out when Gale softly knocks, announcing that they're all ready to have dinner.
Dinner passes quickly and without much talk, apart from the casual "how did your training go?" and "listen to the experts". When everything is cleared from their plates and the conversation dies, Haymitch and Effie excuse themselves to their bedrooms.
"I'm going to catch some air." Fawn states as the avoxes wordlessly clear the table – as if they could utter a word, the teenager thinks sadly, watching them just as silently.
"I was hoping we could talk about strategies and alliances." Gale lightly chews on his lip and Fawn wonders if her nervous gesture is contagious. She smiles faintly.
"Please, not tonight. I'm…tired and it's…"
"Too much, too soon?" He finishes for her with a reassuring smile. The raven haired girl casts one back easily.
"Yeah." She exhales a sigh of relief at how understanding he is.
"Gotcha." The handsome boy flashes a broad smile and offers her a quick hug before retreating back to his room. Only when she hears the click of the door, does she start walking towards the roof. By the door, there's a small table where her sketchbook lays and she picks it up, along with her pencil, and continues on her way.
An almost instantaneous feeling of peace and serenity washes over her as she peers at the flowers, lightly brushing the petals with her fingertips. Fawn leans her head down to inhale the scent of the lovely flowers, for a few seconds taking her back to the forest of district twelve. However, thoughts of her mother, Katniss and Prim immediately assault her mind and she jumps away from the flower, narrowing her eyes at it as if it was its fault for the bittersweet memories.
"Didn't know that those flowers bit." A whisper sounds by her ear. Fawn shrieks at the warm breath that washes over her skin, swiftly turning around and thrusting her pencil forward. Blue eyes stare back into her own and her cheeks flush with embarrassment at Finnick's teasing grin, his hand gently gripping the very tip of the pencil. "Woah there, killer. That pencil looks sharp." Fawn narrows her eyes as the taller boy lets go of her pencil.
"You think you're very funny, don't you, O'Dair?"
"I could start a career as a comedian, right?"
"Aren't you too busy with all your Capitolian girlfriends?" Finnick's eyes darken and she regrets it as soon as the words leave her mouth. She knows she's taken it too far. "I—I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—"
"Forget it. Have fun on the arena when you're up against your own partner, hm?" His voice is hard, cold and Fawn feels shocked at how indifferent he sounds. "I'll see you around, Fawn."
The smaller girl watches him leave, gaze trained on his back as she stands there with a heavy heart, guilt eating away at her soul. Truth is, she doesn't see him again for the last two days of training whenever she goes to the roof. Fawn goes up there hopeful and returns disappointed, her guilt growing bigger. She takes out her frustrations with the bow and arrow during her training and ignores the curious gazes of the career tributes and avoids Gale's questioning and worried glances.
Soon, it's time for the demonstrations and Fawn couldn't be more nervous. She could barely eat breakfast and not even Gale's caresses to her back were able to calm her – all thoughts of Finnick and their harsh exchange of words went away as the Capitolians call their names one by one. The career tributes had, of course, scored highly, both from one getting 11 and the ones from two getting 9 and 10.
Fawn's hands start shaking when the girl from 11 is called up and Gale's calloused, warm hand covers her own, the muscular boy sending her an encouraging smile which she weakly returns. Gale is the first from 12 to do his demonstration and he gives Fawn a tight hug before going inside. She's left alone with her thoughts, her shaking hands and her racing heart. One minute closer to her death, and another one, and another one, another one, another one—
"Fawn Ivory." She doesn't know where the sound comes from and she honestly doesn't care. Fawn stands up on shaky legs, almost wobbling her way into the training center. She's afraid of looking weak – though apparently she doesn't have to worry. The Capitolians, Head Gamemaker included, are all talking, eating from a big roasted pig, laughing and not paying attention at all. This brings a frown to her features and her hands stop shaking. The freaking nerve—oh, I'll show them.
She grabs a flask of alcohol and a piece of cloth, dipping the fabric on the flammable liquid.
I'll show them what fear is.
Fawn takes an arrow and rolls the cloth right beneath the tip.
Show them what it's like to feel weak.
With two pieces of wood, though it takes a bit, she creates friction and watches as small wisps of fire lap at the wood and she grins. Fawn swiftly lights the cloth on fire and grabs a bow, though not before taking the mockingjay pin from her pocket and lightly kissing it—thinking of her mom, Katniss, Prim, Gale.
I'll show them.
Fawn aims and shoots. For a few seconds, it's like everything is in slow motion. The arrow soars through the training center and Fawn follows its movement with a determined gaze, exhaling slowly as it lodges itself right in the middle of the pig. Hysteric screams from the few females in there ensue and Crane's eyes widen—he'd been reaching for a piece of meat and the arrow barely missed his hand. Fawn smirks as they all turn to look at her petite figure, some incredulous, some outraged—but all equally afraid. Maybe she's taken it too far (again) and they'll kill her and tell everyone it was a training accident. But at the terrified glints in their eyes, she finds that it was worth it. Fawn doesn't care and it makes her feel powerful.
Fawn drops the curved bow and greets the Capitolians dramatically, joining her thumb and pinky and placing her hand over her heart. She swiftly leaves the training center, not waiting around to hear her score. The raven-haired girl makes a beeline for the elevator and once the doors slide shut, she finally lets out the breath she's been holding, her back hitting the wall as she supports herself on it, not being able to stand anymore. The shaking is back and her trembling hands reach up to her face, covering her damp skin, little beads of sweat trickling down her face. Her body slides down the elevator's wall and she sits down, taking deep breaths as she tries to not hyperventilate. Her eyes close and Fawn doesn't care when the elevator starts moving, even though she didn't press any button. Doesn't care when the doors open and someone steps in. She just doesn't care.
The petite girl flinches when warm hands take her own, only then noticing the pain in her forearms. Red crescent moon-like marks are visible once more, some bleeding, some not. Blue eyes stare back into her own once again when she dares to open them. There's concern in those eyes and she really can't fandom why. But it's Finnick and he suffers too. He's cried too, right? He understands, doesn't he? It's with those thoughts that she leans against his chest and cries, letting out tears she thought were all dried up. Strong arms wrap around her trembling body and Finnick brings her close to his own, chin resting on top of her raven hair.
The older boy murmurs what she thinks are comforting words, but she can't really concentrate on what he's saying, so she focuses on the sound of his voice instead. It's smooth and low, guttural and his chest rumbles whenever he speaks. It seems like it's a lullaby and Fawn is so tired. So worn down. The raven-haired girl slowly succumbs to the darkness tugging at her mind, lulled by Finnick's voice and his steady breathing and she dreams of a calm ocean, its gentle waves lightly lapping at the shore, of singing mermaids with eyes as blue and bright as the ocean on a clear, sunny day.
A gentle breeze caresses ivory skin, rustles the light blanket that covers the milky expanse of flesh. The body awakens but the mind stays dormant for a couple seconds more as the eyes adjust to the brightness of the room. Fawn takes a full minute to realize that she's back to her apartment, to her floor. Fingertips graze along the soft sheets of the mattress and for a full minute, she lets herself relax and her mind drift to pleasant memories. Fawn knows that within the next few days those memories will vanish, along with her body. She'll be the one turning into a memory instead.
With a long, suffering sigh, Fawn crawls out of bed, still in a daze, vaguely remembering blue eyes and a soft lullaby. It's as she stares at the mirror of the bathroom, fingers combing through raven curls, that it downs upon her. Today marks the beginning of the end. Of everything – her sanity and, most probably, her life. God forbid that she lets Gale die instead of herself. She'd protect him to the end, even if it meant her demise.
Fawn doesn't even bother to think about the live interview that is going to take place before the Games begin, can't think of more dresses and prepping, of feigning courage and hiding her fear. She's terrified and doesn't know if she'll be able to keep her composure.
Her reverie is broken by a soft knock on her door. Fawn expects Gale to be on the other side, saying that she should eat something substantial before everything begins, but she finds Haymitch instead, an almost apologetic look on his features.
"Last minute advices?" Fawn smiles faintly and steps aside to let the victor step inside. His steps are slightly sluggish, heavy, as if he's the one that's going to step inside the arena. She figures that watching his own tributes eminent death must be just as hard as being inside that deadly cage.
"Something like that." Comes the simple answer as the bed creaks under his weight. Fawn sits beside him, doing her best to not show her fear and nervousness. A comforting hand rests on her shoulder and she's sure that her mentor saw right through her. Fawn wonders if the others will be able to do that as well and once again fears for her life.
"Look, I—I can't tell you that everything is going to be alright, because that would be a lie. Most may think I don't care, that I'm merely a drunk, lost man, but I do." He pauses and coughs awkwardly. Even after all these years, he must not be used to pep talks and comforting words. "You're strong, kid. I know it, I've seen it. Both of you are. I believe in you two and in your strength and will to stay alive." Fawn can only smile.
"Alright, uh—try to avoid the bloodbath and the Cornucopia at the beginning. If no one camps there, return later and get what you need. If not, use whatever you have around you. I'm sure you'll take care of yourself."
"Thank you, Haymitch. Really, thank you." Her nervousness goes down a notch and the small spark of hope that's deep inside her heart lightens, flowing through her veins with new found courage. Haymitch clears his throat and stands up.
"Okay. Go eat and I'll see you later at the interview." He starts towards the door but stops suddenly. "Oh! I don't know what you did, but nice score at the demonstration. Been a while since any tribute from district twelve got anything above nine points."
A new fear settles on her heart—after what she'd done, she got a score greater than nine? At the time, she didn't think of the consequences but now… it just seems wrong and screams danger, and her stomach churns. She just knows that the Head Gamemaker is going to retaliate and it won't be good at all.
She files those feelings and thoughts for later and concentrates on getting dressed and meeting Gale for breakfast, even though most of her appetite is gone. Said boy emerges from his room almost at the same time as she leaves hers and for a fleeting moment there's a spark of foreboding on his brown eyes. Gale's quick to hide it behind a mask of courage and kindness as he approaches the smaller girl with an easy smile.
"Ready for more prepping and playing doll?" She chuckles, shaking her head slowly – only him to make her laugh and feel better at a time like this. Her stomach quietly growls with hunger.
"I was born ready." Fawn jokes, eliciting a small laugh from the taller male. They join hands, like they've done so many times before, when everything was much simpler, and walk towards the cafeteria of the building. Haymitch and Effie must have already eaten because she doesn't see them anywhere. They take advantage of the food offered this time and eat as much as they can without feeling bloated and sluggish. There's a silent agreement that they have to be well fed for what's to come.
Throughout breakfast, they receive nasty glares and sneers from the career tributes but they're promptly ignored by Fawn and Gale, who honestly are too worried to really pay them any attention.
The prepping for the interview is quicker than the one for the chariot ride. Cinna is silent throughout the whole process and it slightly scares her. His eyes are dark and hard, lips tightly pressed as he adjusts Fawn's dress. It's a gorgeous black dress – mid-thigh length, with long, thin and puffy sleeves and a sweetheart neckline. It's tight at the waist and fits her just right. Small, red beads decorate the bottom of the dress, making it look like it's slowly burning, gentle and warm. The cloth flows whenever she moves and the texture is smooth, silky as her fingertips brush along the fabric. It's beautiful beyond words. Fawn tells Cinna exactly that and the hardness on his eyes soften, the darkness in them clears.
"Thank you. It's especially designed for you, Fawn. Tell you what—" He smiles mischievously, like he's going to tell a big secret. "When you feel ready, snap your fingers." She's more than confused.
"Snap my fingers?"
"Snap your fingers." Cinna winks before continuing the final touches. A bit of blush here, a smidge of eye shadow there and she's done. Her curly hair is pulled up high in a tight, neat bun, a few strands of hair loose and framing her face. Fawn's once again mesmerized at Cinna's work – she normally doesn't care much about how she looks but it seems like she came out of a magazine, like the models on the shiny pages she found in the room of the Capitolian apartment. Yet simpler, not as ostentatious. A natural kind of beauty.
"Gorgeous, my dear! We did an amazing job, didn't we, Cinna?" The lighter haired woman says, a wide smile on her lips.
"Indeed." He murmurs, a satisfied smile adorning his own pair. "Now go," he told her as he gently pushed her towards the direction of the stage, where Gale awaited, along with the host and audience. "Go and shine, little flame."
so! long time since I posted a new chapter! aha- 2 years :' )
but i'm back! hopefully...
anyway, i hope you enjoyed this new chapter!
thank you for the follows and favorites, and reviews!
