Thanks for the great feedback so far on this story. I always worry people won't enjoy it when you start a new one.

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Chapter 3

Elliot opened his eyes and blinked against the sun coming in through the window. He sat up slightly and groaned as pain shot through his stomach. His hand went to his stomach and he felt the stitches. He looked down and saw the freshly stitched wound all cleaned up.

"I finished is off last night after you passed out," said Olivia making him jump, she was sat on the floor by the bed, where she had been all night.

Elliot sighed and dropped his head back against the pillow and moaned as memories of last night came flooding back to him and what he had said to her.

"I figured I better stay with you, you know, just in case you needed me…. I wouldn't want to be accused of not being there this time."

Elliot turned his head and looked over to her as she remained sat on the floor, her eyes fixed on him. He could tell from the redness she had been crying. He knew he had been a bastard to her last night, he knew he had said some hurtful things but he had been so angry, so pissed off and he just let it all out onto her. When he didn't say anything she pushed herself up of the floor.

"You're welcome," she said quietly as she opened the door and slammed it shut behind her.

"Fuck" he cursed staring back up at the ceiling and letting out a shaky breath. "You're a fucking prick Stabler" he sighed rubbing his hands over his face.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"How's he doing," asked Munch as she walked down the steps of the motor home and into the sun with a cup of coffee.

"Alive and awake," she said sitting in the chair next to him and taking a sip of her coffee. "Where's Don and Fin?"

"Don is trying to get us a different motor home. After what Elliot said about not trusting anyone in the FBI he thinks it would be a good idea to change this one, get one nobody knows about. And Fin is fishing; Amaro has joined him so he can be filled in."

Olivia nodded and looked out across the lake.

"He really hates me, doesn't he?" she said not looking at him.

"I think he is angry," he said to her. "He is angry with all of us after what happened. None of us went to him Olivia. We all just thought he could handle it himself, that his family would be there for him."

"But he doesn't hate you guys; I was the one who let him down."

"No Liv, we all let him down. But don't forget he could have called you as well. Phone calls work both ways. He could have got in touch and let you know what had happened. He could have told any of us but he didn't."

She turned her head and looked at Munch. "John when has Elliot Stabler ever opened up to us about any problem he has? You have to push him and dig and dig to get him to tell you anything. I should have done that just like he would have done to me… I let him down."

John sighed but didn't say anything knowing no matter what he said she wouldn't listen. If one thing he had learned over the years it was how stubborn both her, and Elliot were.

"I think it would be best if I just headed back to New York. Let you guys bring him home. You don't need the added pressure or stress of having me here when Elliot obviously doesn't want me here."

"Olivia if you leave now, any hope of repairing your relationship with him is gone. Is that what you want?"

"It doesn't matter what I want," she said, as she put her cup down and stood up walking down to the lake and wrapped her arms around herself.

John pushed himself up and followed her down.

"You know, they say we always hurt the ones we love. That we always take it out on the ones we care about, the ones closest to us," he said wrapping his arm around her. "I wouldn't take anything he says to heart. He is scared, hurt and pissed off."

Olivia shook her head. "I have made up my mind," she sniffed. "He didn't want me here, he didn't ask for me. I thought I could do this job without him. And I tried I really did," she sniffed. "I'm flying back to New York, end of story," she said pulling away from him and walking off along the edge of the lake.

"Shit," he mumbled as he watched her walking away.

He turned back around and headed back towards the motor home picking up her empty cup on the way and entered the home.

He put the cup in the sink and put the kettle on, just as Elliot came out the bedroom looking around the room.

"She is down by the lake," John told him as he walked past him and sat at the table. "Probably on the phone, booking her flight."

Elliot's head snapped up. "Her flight?"

"She is heading back to New York."

Elliot stared at him but never said anything.

"Well what the hell did you expect?"John snapped. "You have treated her like shit since you got here."

Elliot looked at him a little surprised at his out-burst; it wasn't often that he raised his voice like that.

"Oh don't look at me like that," he told Elliot. "You know, I get your pissed off with us. We screwed up, we let you go through all that shit alone…. We, we all did that, not just Olivia. So if you want to be pissed with someone be pissed at all of us."

"She was my Partner!" he yelled. "Not you, not Fin and not Cragen….Her."

"And she tried to get in touch with you. She didn't know you didn't have your phone. She didn't know Kathy had left and Eli wasn't yours, because you didn't tell anyone, because you never got in touch. Because you done what you always do when things go wrong….. You kept it all inside and bottled up, because big tough Elliot Stabler doesn't need help."

"Fuck you!" he snapped stepping towards Munch

"Do you even know the hell she went through after the shooting? Sure you pulled the trigger but she was the one that had to put up with questioning looks from people. She had to sit for hours with IAB answering questions from years ago as they tried to find a way to get her off the force. She went to Sister Pegs and Jenna's funeral alone because you were missing."

Elliot stepped back as Munch walked forward towards him.

"But do you know what finally broke her, when Don took her in the office and told her you weren't coming back. I found her doubled over in the integration room sobbing her heart out, because she had lost her Partner and Best friend and she didn't know why. She had to pack up your desk into a small box, a desk she used to sit and stare at for hours at a time when you first left. So yes," he said stabbing Elliot in the chest with his finger. "You had a bad time, but so did Liv. And for you to come back into her life and put all the blame on her is out of order," he yelled.

"I don't need this shit," he growled pushing past John.

"El, if you let her leave, if she goes back to New York today, you will lose her for good."

Elliot turned to face him "Maybe that's for the best."

"For who? Her?….You? Cause I got to tell you it hasn't been good for her since you left. And from what I can see your life hasn't been too good either."

Elliot just looked at him.

"When you didn't come back she changed. She became hard and I guess at times she was a grade A bitch. It took her months to even accept Amaro as her Partner. She wouldn't open up or get close to anyone. And you…..you took a job across the other side of the country that could have got you killed to try and get her out of your head."

"It wasn't like that," he said. "You don't know what the hell was going around in my head, so back the fuck off," he yelled.

Munch walked towards him as Elliot stood still clenching his fists.

"Blame Olivia all you want," he said calmly. "But when it comes down to it Olivia tried to make that call, she tried to reach out to you. You're the one who left. You're the one who didn't tell Olivia what was going on at home. So she never knew you had no one. She thought you had your family and you didn't need her….. So let her go. Let her get that flight back to New York and don't ever get in touch with her again. Because she doesn't need you Stabler. She has people now who care for her, who will be there for her, who won't blame her because their life goes to shit," he told him walking out the motor home.

"You hear all that?" he asked Fin who was stood outside.

Fin nodded. "You think you got through to him?"

"Don't know," he said. "But what I do know is if Olivia goes back to New York alone, by the time we get back with Elliot she will be gone."

Fin was about to speak when they heard a loud crash from inside the home. He went to step forward and Munch stopped him shaking his head.

"Leave it," he said looking down towards the lake and Olivia.

Fin nodded and grabbed a chair each for them and the both sat down without a word as the noise from inside the home continued.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Is there anything I can say to make you stay?" asked Don sitting down next to her.

She shook her head. "I can't stay, not when he is like this," she said trying to smile.

"Just promise me, you won't don't anything rash before we get back."

"I will try not to," she told him as a car pulled up not far from them. "That will be my rental," she said standing up and walking towards the car.

"She still going?" asked Fin. Don nodded.

"What's Elliot doing?"

"Not a clue. It's gone quiet in there I just hope we won't get the bill for the damages."

"Once Olivia has gone we need to see about making a move. Elliot's injury seems to be okay. I think we should take turns and drive through the night get a bit of distance."

"Sounds good to me. The sooner we get back the better. Does Amaro and Rollins know about all the changes?"

"Yeah, they are going to go ahead check things out and then drop back along the route. They are going to change their car ever couple of days, the same as us."

"Have you been in touch with anyone from the FEDS yet?"

"Nope and I'm not going to. Like Elliot said, it's hard to know who to trust," he said as Olivia walked back to them.

"I just need to grab my stuff and I will be off," she told them.

"You want me to come in with you?" asked Fin.

"No thanks. He maybe be pissed and hate me right now, but he wouldn't hurt me physically," she told them walking towards the home and climbing the couple of steps.

She pushed open the door and stepped in to the trashed home.

"Jesus," she said looking at the mess and the holes in the walls.

"Yeah, I kinda lost it," chuckled Elliot from the living area.

She looked over and saw him sat on the floor with a bottle of whisky in his hand.

"I thought you would have left by now," he said as he took a drink.

She ignored him and opened the storage cupboard and took out her bag, stuffing the few clothes she had unpacked into it. She heard him stand up and kick stuff to the side as he walked over to her.

"So your just going to leave," he said standing right behind her.

"It's for the best," she replied not turning around. "You made it pretty clear you don't want me here," she said zipping up her bag and picking it up.

"And when the going gets tough and things don't go to plan the only thing you see is the back of Olivia Bensons head," he said as she pushed past him. "As she walks out of your life."

Olivia dropped her bag and spun around.

"I never walked out of your life!" she yelled. "I stayed. I'm still at the 1-6. I'm in the same damn apartment. And the only reason I'm leaving now is…. Is because I can't stay and have you looking at me with such hate," she said pushing her hands against his chest. "You left me, you walked away….. So fuck you…..Just fuck you!"

"Computer crimes…..Oregon!" he yelled back. "As soon as things got tough or a little difficult, you left."

"And I always came back….. I never left for good. Keep blaming Elliot, keep punishing me if that's what makes you feel better, hate me all you want, because I made a mistake. But don't think I'm going to stay around and take it."

She took a deep breath as they glared at each other.

"I didn't know you needed me," she said with tears. "Do you really think I would have stayed away if I knew what you were going through?"

Elliot went to speak but nothing came out as he stood just staring at her. He felt the panic rising from the pit of his stomach making him feel sick, as he realised he had gone too far. He knew he was being a bastard to her but he couldn't stop himself. He was so pissed off and angry, at everyone, and everything but he took it out on her. He took it out on the one person he needed the most and now she was leaving.

Olivia wiped her eyes and bent over picking up her bag and turned around.

"Don't leave," he said quietly.

Olivia closed her eyes and took a deep breath before stepping towards the door. She reached out for the door handle and was about to pull it open when she felt Elliot behind her and his hands slammed against the door either side of her head making her jump. She felt the bristle from his beard brush against her cheek and his breath on her skin.

"I… I need you Liv," he whispered his voice so deep it sent shivers down her spine. "I need you," he breathed against her ear.

Olivia dropped her head and shook it. "No you don't," she said to him. "If you did, you would have asked for me," she said grabbing the handle and pulling the door open as she pushed back against Elliot. He stepped back and she walked out the door slamming it shut behind her.

Elliot dropped his head against the door and for the first time since he pulled the trigger on Jenna he let the tears fall.

Don, Munch and Fin watched in silence as Olivia walked out the motor home and climbed into the rental car.

"I will call when I get back," she said not even attempting to hide the tears as she started the engine. She turned and looked at the three of them. "Keep him safe," she told them. All three nodded as she pulled away and out of sight. As the car disappeared around the bend they turned back to the motor home. Elliot was stood in the doorway his eyes red from crying as he raised the bottle to his mouth taking a large drink before stepping back in and slamming the door shut.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Olivia wiped at the tears as she sped down the road and away from the campsite, finding it hard to breath as she cried. Elliot's words spinning around in her head.

"I didn't ask for you….. Don't leave…. As I put the gun to my head…I need you Liv….."

She quickly pulled the car over and threw the door open leaning out and vomiting onto the grass.

"Fuck," she gasped when she finally stopped wiping her mouth on the sleeve of her shirt.

She reached into her bag and took out a bottle of water and took a sip looking into her rear view mirror.

"You're a mess Benson," she mumbled before taking another drink and throwing the bottle onto the seat next to her. She took a deep breath and put the car into gear and pulled back out. She saw the sign for a gas station 2 miles down the road and looked at her watch. She had plenty of time to get to the airport and she knew it was dangerous to drive in the state she was in so she decided to pull in there to sort herself out.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She sat sipping her third cup of coffee. After using the rest rooms and washing her face she ordered a coffee and had been sat staring out the window drinking it for the last hour or so as she watched the passing traffic.

"You okay Honey?" asked the waitress as she topped up her cup again.

"I will be," she said giving her a small smile.

"Well you look a lot better now than you did when you first came in."

"I guess I was in a bit of a state."

"Just a little and I hope whoever got you in that state is as upset as you were. They should be ashamed of themselves making a pretty thing like you get into that state."

Olivia was just about to answer when the loud roar of motor bikes was heard outside as about ten bikers drove past the small diner slowing down as all their heads scanned the area.

Olivia swallowed hard as she watched them her eyes straining to see the back of their jackets. The large words Grim Angels stood out.

"No!" she snapped jumping up from the table and knocking her coffee over.

"You okay sweet heart?" asked the waitress as Olivia grabbed her bag and started looking inside for her phone.

"Dammit," she said panicking. "I need my phone," she said as she watched the bikers disappear down the road picking up speed. She threw some money on the table and dashed out running to her car. She quickly climbed in and grabbed her phone from the passenger seat and quickly pressed speed dial one for Cragen.

"Shit," she cursed as it went straight to voice mail. She started the car and screeched out of the gas station heading back towards the camp site.

She called Cragen again but yet again it went straight to answer phone.

"Don, get out there," she shouted into the phone leaving a message. "The Grim Angels have just passed me about 15 miles from you….Dammit!" she screamed hanging up and trying Fin and Munch but getting nothing. She remembered how she had to go down by the lake to get a signal earlier that day as she sped up. She rounded a bend and looked ahead down the long straight road the bikers were nowhere in sight.

She reached into her bag and pulled out weapon as she got close to the campsite and cocked it before she turned the car onto the track and headed through the trees and down the hill towards the lake.

Her stomach dropped when she heard the sound of gun fire. She put her foot down and drove as fast as she could down the small track. As she neared the lake she drove into chaos. People were running around screaming and diving for cover behind cars, kids were crying as parents grabbed them and ran, as the sound of gun fire continued to fill the air.

She stopped the car and jumped out and began to run towards the motor home.

"No….No!" she yelled but she wasn't heard over the sound of gun fire, as she watched about six bikers fire automatic weapons into the motor home that she had only left less than two hours ago, peppering it with holes as they laughed.

She looked around frantically for any signs that Elliot, Cragen and the others, but couldn't find them. Her eyes went back to the motor home.

"Oh god no…..Please no," she begged as the bullets tore apart the home. She knew everyone in there wouldn't stand a chance. She ducked down behind a car as one of the bikers who was still sat on his bike turned around and scanned the area. Her whole body was shaking as she crouched down so he couldn't see her.

She wanted to return fire but she knew she wouldn't stand a chance. As she looked back she saw Rollins crouched down behind a boat by the lake, she had hold of two little girls, her arms wrapped tightly around them. But she couldn't see anyone else. Rollins looked at Olivia and shook her head. Olivia didn't know if that was warning her not to do anything stupid or that there was nothing they could do.

The sound of sirens could be heard over the guns shots and suddenly it went almost silent as the shots stopped.

"Fuck you, you fucking prick!" yelled one of the men towards the motor home. "Just fuck you!"

The next sound was the roar of bikes as they all started up, then the sound of tyres on gravel as they all spun the bikes around and sped away whooping and shouting.

Olivia stood up from behind the car and stared at the motor home which was now full of holes. She saw Rollins and other people standing up, but no Cragen….No Fin…..No Munch and no Elliot. She stepped forward a few steps before dropping to her knees as tears streamed down her face.

"Elliot!" she screamed as she stared at the destruction before her.