C7: Revelation of the future
That night Jackson arrived home feeling exhausted. The day's events had been tiring on mind and body. Walking through his front door Jackson found the house playing host to a set of barristers. There was a merry mood in the house. Susan was stood talking to one of them, a distinguished looking man still in his robes and wig wearing a smart pair of spectacles. The man was regaling Susan was a tale of the fraud case he just won. Jackson knew the man was a very well respected QC and that the case in question had resulted from a joint investigation between Inspector Ressler and Inspector Garnet of Chelsea. Susan looking relaxed and very interested in the conversation.
Seeing Jackson enter Susan bid the man farewell, her place being taken by Sapphire much to the man's delight. Taking his hand Susan led Jackson into the parlour, locking the door securely behind her.
"Susan what happen today with the lawyer?" Jackson asked, anxiously pacing the room.
"Mr Grosvenor wants free access to the girls and in rent what the house makes in a day. He does not desire me. I and the girls have his protection. He gave me a thousand guineas as compensation for Duggan's treatment," Susan replied smiling broadly, her eyes sparking with delight.
"GOD DAMN! We are free now darlin'. We can live as we want without fear," Jackson laughed, picking her up and spinning her around.
"Free….we are free," Susan whispered, wrapping her arms around him.
For a moment they looked at one another in utter awe as they realized what the day's event meant for them. All the stress, worry and anger of the recent weeks vanishing in an instant. All the anger and cruel words forgiven. Holding onto one another tightly Jackson and Susan revealed in the true relief the day had brought.
"Caitlin you promised to tell me the secret you've been keeping," Jackson said, his voice taking on a note of worry.
"Matthew…I really need to tell you," Caitlin began, her voice and face betraying a sense of insecurity.
"Caitlin you've been vomiting and your behaviour has been different these past weeks. I'm a surgeon not a fool," Matthew replied, placing her gently on her feet.
"We have both tried to avoid what is in front of us," Caitlin replied, walking away from him.
Gripping onto the mantelpiece she looked into the swirling orange glow of the fire. Pain, sorrow and guilt shone in her eyes. Folding one arm across her body she stared into the fire. Taking a step forward Matthew looked at one then stopped, unsure what to say or do for the best.
"Caitlin please tell me," Matthew whispered, reaching a hand out to her.
"I'm pregnant Matthew."
Standing by the fire the light turned Caitlin's hair into liquid gold. Sorrow mingled with fear and confusion shining in her eyes as tears rolled down her cheeks. Bathed in firelight all the fear she had kept locked away had broken out. The simple true she had known but tried desperately to deny. Now forced to confront the truth the magnitude of the situation overwhelmed her.
Taking her by the hand Matthew led her out of the parlour upstairs to his bedroom without a word. Matthews face perfectly calm. Entering the room Matthew locked the door tightly and placed a sack at the gap beneath the door and floor. The room was lit by soft lighting giving it a sense of warmth and security. Looking around the room Caitlin saw the surgeon's instruments and various bottles, her eyes full of confusion. She had been expecting many reactions from her husband but this one had thrown her.
"I need to find out how far along you are," Matthew said in calmly, his demeanour every inch that of a surgeon.
"I understand Matthew," Caitlin whispered, laying down on the couch.
Neither spoke as Matthew examined her. Both avoiding each other's eyes. Caitlin's eyes turned to the wall so she could not see what her husband was doing. Within minutes Matthew confirmed she was two and a half months pregnant. Looking at his wife Matthew let out a low whistle as he washed his hands. His mind reeling while Caitlin just lay there in silence.
Gently Matthew carried Caitlin over to the bed, placing her down on top of the red duvet with the uttermost care. Her golden hair glittering against the soft red covered pillow. Slipping off his boots Matthew lay down beside her. For a moment they both lay together under a blanket of deafening silence. For the first time since arriving in London, Caitlin felt utterly lost. All her strength had vanished as the mask of power had been shattered. Looking at her Matthew felt a weight of responsibility descend onto his shoulders.
"What are we going to do Matthew?" Caitlin asked desperately, tears falling from her eyes.
"Fraid I don't have a plan for that, not the thing we covered at Pinkerton."
"Between us we know how to end this."
"That really what you want?" Matthew asked in a sceptical tone.
"What other choice is there?" Caitlin asked, her eyes swimming with sorrow.
Together their eyes flickered over to the small green plant growing on the desk. A plant that if brewed correctly could cause miscarriage. The tension hung in the like a thick smog as they thought of that that path would mean. The path they choose now would alter their lives for good, no matter what their decision nothing would be the same.
"I can see what you can't bear to admit to yourself. You want the baby, if you didn't then you wouldn't be feeling scared. You can do whatever you want in this matter. I love you darlin'. Choose Caitlin," Matthew said, softly stroking her hair.
Laying there Caitlin let out a soft sob. Placing a hand on her stomach Caitlin felt her heart surge with love for the baby. Her mind at last able to admit what her heart craved from the start. All the stress and guilt of the past days overwhelming her. A mixture of love, sorrow and utter desperation glittering in her eyes.
"I saw Father lose his kindness the rain soaked day we buried my mother and my sister Annabella. I saw the cruelty within consume him. I saw family I loved destroyed. If Theodore found out he would…"
"Theodore has no way of finding out. I will protect you," Matthew replied gently placing his hand over her stomach. "I want our baby Caitlin."
Matthew's heart was beating frantically. Never before had he wanted anything as much as he wanted their child, not even to have Caitlin Swift as his own. He was terrified for he could see the desperation in Caitlin. Only once before had he seen Caitlin filled with despair, one black day in New York when she had revealed the events surrounding the death of her mother Meredith and sister Annabella. He had prayed never to see her suffer in such a way again, seeing her now broke his heart.
Looking at her husband Caitlin saw the utter sincerity in her husband's eyes, saw the smile on his face and the love in his eyes. Laying there Caitlin looked down at her stomach, feeling the weight of her husband's hand. Her mind flickering to her idyllic childhood and the love her mother Meredith had given her. To the wonderful bedtime stories Theodore once told, the love he gave her and the love between Theodore and Meredith. Caitlin felt a long lost flower bloom in her heart, the love of a mother and a child. Caitlin saw her own recent actions, her kindness towards the girls, helping Rose without a second thought, treating Lucy like a sister and the business with Rain.
Gently Caitlin moved her hand across her stomach. In that moment she saw the baby that could be born in her mind's eye. Soft emerald eyes gazing adoringly up at her, a smiling face, dark curls and hands reaching to her. A perfect mixture of herself and Matthew. A baby swaddled in a blanket of dark green, innocent, beautiful and hers.
"My baby," Caitlin whispered, tears running down her cheeks.
Brushing back the tears Caitlin smiled and a deep sense of peace entering her heart. Her fears no longer ruling her heart. Fire surging through her veins, her strength burning brightly once more. A fierce determination entering her heart, in that moment the shadows of the past vanishing.
"I love our baby Matthew. I choose to become a mother," Caitlin whispered.
Before she could say another world Matthew kissed Caitlin. Grinning from ear to ear Matthew laughed. Gently he kissed Caitlin's stomach and placed his hand over hers. Caitlin laughing through tears of joy, her emerald eyes sparkling with happiness.
"I swear to protect you both, I swear never to hurt either of you and most of all I swear from now on you both come first," Matthew said, his eyes shining ferociously with love.
"Thank you," Caitlin replied, tears of utter joy running down her cheeks.
Gently Matthew wrapped his arms around Caitlin, one hand remaining resting protectively on her stomach. His vow blazing ferociously in his heart. Overcome with exhaustion Caitlin snuggled into his embrace. Laying on Matthew's bed the pair fell asleep in each other's arms.
