follow my twitter: emisonislifeok for updates on affair and my new emison/pll superhero fanfic that's coming out soon!


Alison felt herself regaining consciousness, and a dull pain in the back of her head. She frowned slightly, as she kept her eyes closed. The dull pain in the back of her head seemed to have a pulse, she could hear her heartbeat in her ears. Whenever she heard the thump of her heartbeat, she could hear a beep coming from a machine.

Her eyes fluttered open, and light flooded her vision. It was blurry, and it took her a few seconds to realize where she was. She blinked a few times, and looked around the room. She was lying in a hospital bed, with a heartbeat monitor on her finger. It was dark outside, but the lights were on overhead. The next thing she noticed, was warmth and a slight tightness on her hand.

She looked down at her right hand, only to see someone else's hand holding onto it. It was Emily's hand, and Emily was fast asleep, sitting on a chair next to her hospital bed. Her head was resting on the edge of Ali's bed, but her grip remained tight on Alison's hand.

"Emily," Alison said, softly nudging her. She was sleeping so peacefully, Alison felt bad for waking her up.

"Mmm, what?" Emily mumbled, her soft expression quickly turned into a frown. "Five more minutes."

"Emily, it's Ali," Alison said, smiling at Emily's groggy voice. "I just wanted to tell you that I was awake."

She reached for Emily's cheek with her free hand, and stroked it gently. Emily's eyes fluttered open, her expression still in a frown. Her deep brown eyes searched the room, before locking with Alison's.

Alison's smile grew wider as she watched Emily lift her head off the hospital bed. Emily's frown soon disappeared and was replaced with a concerning smile.

"Hey," Emily mumbled, as Alison stroked the back of Emily's hand with her thumb. "How are you feeling?"

"My head just hurts," Alison sighed.

"What even happened?" Emily asked. "How did you split your head open like that?"

Alison paused, she knew the answer to the question. Emily noticed her pause, as Alison searched for an answer. Emily's eyebrows raised expectantly, and Alison looked at their intertwined hands.

"I was taking down some stuff, you know in my classroom. I slipped on the stool and fell off and smacked my head on the edge of my desk," Alison said, avoiding Emily's eyes.

She looked up moments later, did Emily buy it? If she didn't, she surely wasn't showing it. Her soft chocolate eyes were slightly glossed over, and she was biting her lip. She was worried, worried about her. Her eyebrows were knitted in a slight frown, making her forehead crease ever so slightly.

"Emily, you don't have to worry about me," Alison said, squeezing Emily's hand. "Thank you for everything, you don't have to wait here with me."

Emily sighed, "I know, I know. I'm just...I was just worried. The doctors said you would be fine, but I just wanted to make sure that you were okay myself."

Alison smiled, not knowing what else to say. Instead, she tugged on Emily's hand, pulling it towards her.

"Come here," Alison said, smiling slightly.

Emily inched forward in the chair, pulling it towards where Alison laid. She lifted her broken leg slightly, and came to stop right next to Alison. Alison let go of Emily's hand, and moved her hand to the back of Emily's neck.

"Thank you, for everything," she said. Her angel, here to make sure she was okay. What did she do to deserve this? "I lo-"

She paused, the words catching in her throat. She made a swift recovery, and smiled. "I appreciate it."

"Anytime, really," Emily said, her hand rested itself on Alison's stomach. "I was with Hanna doing some cake tasting, and basically dropped everything just so I could come and make sure you were okay."

Emily laughed slightly, and looked down. Her cheeks turned slightly pink, and she rubbed her forehead. "Sorry that sounds really stupid," she admitted.

"No it's cute," Alison said, squeezing her hand again. "I really do appreciate this Emily. If you weren't here, I would've woken up alone."

Emily looked up, her smile dropping slightly. Alison stared into the deep brown eyes of the girl sitting across from her, comforting her, making her feel better. The light was dim enough that Emily's eyes were only dark pools, but Alison knew that in the light it was a whole different story. Emily's eyes were magical, far different than her husband's, Spencer's, anyone's really.

Emily's brown eyes flashed downward, and before Alison knew it, Emily leaned forward and kissed Alison. Alison's heart fluttered. It was soft, slow, gentle, and full of comfort. Alison forgot about the dull throbbing in the back of her head as she enjoyed the moment. There was nothing that Emily couldn't make Alison feel better about it seemed, and Alison was grateful for that. She would've gone insane without Emily sooner or later.

Emily pulled back, but kept the close distance between she and Alison. Alison smiled wide, and kissed Emily again. She could feel Emily smiling on her lips too, and she pulled back fully after Alison released Emily's bottom lip.

Emily leaned back in her chair, and picked a book off the ground. Alison's eyes tried to catch a title that was hard to make out from the angle she was sitting.

"What are you reading?" Alison asked, nodding at the book as Emily folded a corner of the page so was on.

"Oh, it's just one of the books Spencer got me for my birthday. I carry a book in my purse everywhere. It's called, Milk and Honey. It's not even a book really, just a collection of poetry," Emily shrugged, closing the book.

"You should read me some," Alison said, sitting up on her bed.

"Look at that, the English teacher in your is coming out," Emily smiled, but began flipping through the pages of the book nonetheless.

Right as Emily began to read to Alison, there was a knock on the door and a man entered. Emily's voice faded out, and Alison looked up to see her husband enter the room with a plastic bag that had take out boxes inside. He smiled sheepishly at the two, as he struggled to close the door behind him.

"I see you're awake," he said. "I brought you some fish and chips in case you were hungry."

Alison wasn't really hungry, but it was the thought that counted she guessed. He was probably trying to start making amends for what he had done a few hours before. His hair was a bit disheveled, and the tie around his neck was loose.

"Thanks," Alison said, as she watched her husband place the plastic bag on the table next to her.

Rollins bent down and kissed her forehead firmly, and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Feeling any better?" Rollins asked. "It's almost midnight now."

"Not really, there's just a pain the back of my head," Alison said. "Emily's been here to make sure I was okay."

Rollins stopped, and glanced at Emily. "I was here too, I just stepped out to grab dinner."

"And you didn't offer to get Emily any dinner?" Alison asked, her voice was firm and biting.

"No, Ali it wasn't like that. Really I wasn't hungry when he was going out. He offered," Emily said, putting her book in her purse.

"I did," Rollins nodded. "I think it's time for Emily to go home, did you need a ride Emily?"

"Um yeah, I can call my mom to pick me up if you need-"

"It's fine, it's no bother to drive you. I'm sure your family is asleep anyway," Rollins smiled, dangling his keys. "Come on."

Emily flashed Alison a look, before joining Rollins near the door.

"I'll see you soon?" Emily asked.

"Of course, have a good night. Thank you for everything," Alison smiled.


The car ride between Emily and Ali's husband was silent. She wasn't really good friends with Rollins at all. It wasn't that Emily thought badly of him either, of course he did do some things to Alison and in general that Emily didn't agree with. But, he was human after all, and at least he was trying to make a difference with his daughter Olivia.

She found out that he liked to listen to indie bands, all of the songs that came on during their car ride was bands that Emily had never heard of with vocalists that had voices very smooth to the sound. He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, out of habit or out of nervousness Emily didn't know.

"So, are you enjoying your time back at Rosewood?" he asked, trying to strike a conversation.

"Um, yeah," Emily nodded. "It's nice to come back and reconnect with everyone. I never really liked it when I was in high school, but it's a bit better now."

Rollins laughed, "I know what you mean, it's not necessarily my ideal place to settle down either. I'm from Canada, if you didn't already know, and a small town in Pennsylvania wasn't where I imagined myself being ten years ago. Hell, the only reason I'm here is because of Alison."

"Yeah, small towns seem to be neither of our things. It's funny that Alison wanted to come back here, she never seemed like the type to want to in high school," Emily remarked, looking out the window at the dark houses.

"Well, she mostly did it because of her older sister CeCe. I knew it would be wrong to say no to that," Rollins shrugged, and began singing along to the band playing over the radio.

It wasn't too long after that Rollins pulled into the driveway of Emily's childhood home. He pulled his red car right behind Emily's father's SUV, and put the car in park.

"How's Olivia doing?" Rollins asked, peering at the dark house ahead of them.

"She's, um, she's good," Emily said. "She's still a little bit cut up over what happened with her mom, it's only been a few weeks."

"Yeah," Rollins said, sadly. "It's sad for me too. Do you think I can see her again sometime soon? Maybe go do something?"

"You'll have to talk to my parents about that. They're the main guardians," Emily said, turning to look at Rollins. He was wiping his eyes with one of his hands, and sniffled slightly.

"H-Hey, are you crying?" Emily asked, frowning and leaning forward to get a better view. Rollins continued to wipe his eyes, and a soft whimper left his lips. "What's going on?"

Rollins continued to sob, "I pushed her," he said, between the sobs. "I pushed Ali."

"You what?" Emily asked, frowning. "What do you mean you pushed her?"

"I'm the reason that she got hurt," Rollins said, lifting his hands away from his face. Emily saw his dark brown eyes were wet from his tears, his cheeks wet as well.

"What?!" Emily asked in disbelief. "What happened?"

"I came home, and I know I shouldn't have drank that much but I did. She and I got into a fight as usual, and I pushed her. She lost her footing and fell backwards and smacked the back of her head on the end of my bedside table," Rollins said. "I'm such an awful person. I hurt my wife and neglected my daughter for sixteen years."

"Elliot, you're not an awful person I-" Emily didn't know what else to say. Why did Alison lie about what happened? Did she not want her to worry?

"I am Emily! I fucking can't do anything right! I fell in love with Rowan and I got her pregnant when she was a teenager, and then I neglected my daughter. I married Alison and everything was great, but she and I both want different things right now and my marriage is falling apart," Rollins sobbed, and placed his head on the steering wheel. "I'm a psychiatrist and I can't even keep my own life together."

"Do you think the amount of alcohol you consume has something to do with it?" Emily asked, looking at Rollins. His body was heaving as he sobbed.

"I don't know, Alison mentioned I drink too much. But I've always drank that much, I swear! A lot has been going on in my life, and I don't know what to do," Rollins said, wiping his eyes and looking at Emily.

"Look, everyone has these rough patches in their life. Life happens, and unfortunately things change. It sucks, life sucks. We never seem to get what we want, and happiness doesn't seem to last for very long. I can't say shit about tough life experiences though, the worst thing that's happened to me is I've broken my leg and the person I'm falling in love with is-" Emily paused, her words catching in her throat. "Besides the point. If you want to fix your life, you're going to have to take a step forward and try to fix it. You can't just sit back and drink booze and hope things will turn out for the better."

"I know," Rollins said. "I know. Sorry, Rowan's death has had me very emotional."

"It's alright to be sad, I understand," Emily said, smiling comfortingly. "Rowan meant a lot to you, she meant a lot to all of us."

"I'll never love someone as much or quite like I loved her," Rollins admitted. "Please don't tell Alison that."

"I think you should probably be getting back to her, she's at the hospital alone," Emily said.

"Why should I? God, Emily, I don't think she loves me anymore. We haven't had sex in months, she barely says she loves me anymore. We barely spend time together, she's always angry with me!" Rollins said, frustration edging his voice.

"Alison may be mad at you right now, but you are her husband for one thing. And number two, you are the one who caused her to end up in the hospital. The least you can do is stay there and keep her company," Emily said.

"You're right, you're right," Rollins said, sniffling and wiping his eyes. "I'm sorry I said that, I didn't mean to dump all of that on you. There's just been a lot on my mind."

"It's okay, I get it. I do," Emily said.

"Thank you," Rollins said, looking at Emily and smiling slightly. "I'm sorry once again."

"Don't worry about it at all, it's really not that big of a deal. I was-" Emily began, but was cut off by Rollins leaning forward and firmly pressing his lips to hers.

The second she realized what was happening, her hands flew up and pushed Rollins off her with enough force that he flew back in his seat. Emily's face contorted in anger and shock.

"What the fuck?!" Emily yelled. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm sorry! You remind me so much of Rowan, you're like a younger version of her!" Rollins sighed, and placed his head in his hands. "I just want to be loved."

"I don't know if you've gotten the memo yet, but I'm very lesbian. As in no men for me," Emily said, fumbling on her words as she tried to hide her shock and anger.

"I know, I know," he whined. "I just got caught up in it and all, you just remind me of Rowan. You look so much alike."

"Speak of this to no one," Emily threatened. "Do not tell Alison about what just happened, or anyone else. If you do, I will personally come and find you. I'm in the military remember, don't think I don't know what I'm doing."

Emily got hastily out of Rollins's car, and slammed the door behind her with enough force to shake the car slightly. She walked as fast as her booted leg would take her, and frantically wiped the disgusting feeling from her lips.

She could see why Alison didn't like kissing Rollins anymore. Or maybe it was because she just wasn't into guys.


In late January, Emily found herself back in Dr. Gordon's office. She hadn't been going to therapy for a few weeks, cancelling for stupid reasons. It was mostly because she just didn't want to go, but she felt guilty once her mother expressed her concern for her. Her mother only meant well, and Emily did notice that she was beginning to mentally slip again.

Dr. Gordon's office changed a bit, and Emily quickly noticed. There was a new photo on his desk, of a newborn baby wrapped in a green baby blanket. Dr. Gordon told Emily that the baby was his newborn daughter, who was born in early January. Her name was Lexa, and his son Blake already loved her to bits.

For some reason, this struck a question in Emily's head. Did she want children? Sure she thought about it, but not that often. She had no one to think about having kids with in the past five years, she hadn't had a serious relationship. Back in high school, she didn't want to get too far ahead of herself but now it was different. Did she want kids?

Yes, her mind answered. Emily could see herself being a mother, but with who? Alison? If she ever decided to leave her husband, which she was going to eventually do right? A guilt had set in on Emily after her talk with Rollins. He was at least trying with Alison after all, and here she was coming in between their marriage by having an affair with Alison.

Dr. Gordon now had a cat in his office. His name was Tywin, an orange tabby that liked to sit on his patient's lap and purred loudly whenever you scratched him under the chin. Dr. Gordon was a big Game of Thrones nerve, so it was fitting that his cat would be named after a character from the books.

"So, Emily," Dr. Gordon said, clicking his pen as he often did between their talking periods. "Other than being able to sleep better, has anything else changed that you've noticed? Either in relationships or just things around you?"

"Well, I tried meeting people," Emily said. "I reconnected with this girl I used to know in high school. We were never that close in high school, but things are different now as they usually are."

"Is this in a friendship or romantic sense?" Dr. Gordon asked.

"Well it started off pretty friendly, but it turned into a sort of hook up thing," Emily explained. "It's a bit of a complicated situation."

"Do you wish to elaborate?" Dr. Gordon asked.

"No not really," Emily shrugged.

"Have you had any other romantic interests at all?" Dr. Gordon asked.

"No, people have tried but I'm not really interested," Emily shrugged. "Exactly, one of my best friends Toby and Spencer are taking me and some girl Toby wants me to meet to a football game. That is if the Eagles make it to the Super Bowl."

"We can pray they do," Dr. Gordon laughed. "I'm a big Eagles fan. I think it's good that you're at least trying Emily. I know the transition can be hard, but two months in and you're doing very well. Has your doctor discussed when you're going to get that brace off and do physical therapy?"

"Sometime in April he's predicting," Emily said, looking down at her bound leg. "Not sure how long physical therapy will last. It just depends on how good I can walk once I get back up there."

"Is the army planning on re-enlisting you?" Dr. Gordon asked.

"I think so, but doubtful as a combat medic again. I don't think I'll ever be able to step back out there again," Emily shivered slightly, trying not to think back to her time in Afghanistan.

"Right, of course. The only downfall to this is, you could have a relationship, but then you would have to leave them and only come back for a month every year to visit them," Dr. Gordon said.

Emily chuckled, "You don't need to remind me."


On February 4th, Emily awoke to the sound of her phone ringing. Her eyes shot open, as her phone vibrated from the bedside table. She squinted in the dark and looked at the caller ID. A photo of Alison appeared on her phone, along with her name across the top. Emily reached across and fumbled with her phone. She had upgraded to a new phone less than a week ago, since her old one was over five years old. The new version of the phone was a lot bigger, and still took some getting used to.

"Hello?" Emily croaked.

"Emily," Alison's voice answered. Her voice was heavy, and Emily could hear small sobs emitting from the receiver.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Emily asked, sitting up in bed. The cloudiness already leaving her mind.

"I think something's wrong with Pepe," Alison said. "He hasn't been eating for the past few days, and he can't even make it outside to use the bathroom anymore. He just mopes around all day and whines occasionally. Can you please come over?"

"Yeah, yeah of course," Emily said, throwing the bed sheets away from her body. It was close to 4am. "Where's Rollins?"

"He went to go visit his family," Alison said. "I'm here alone, I don't know what to do about Pepe."

"I'll be right over, hang tight," Emily said, shimmying out of her pajamas.

Emily and Alison sat on the ground of Alison's kitchen, with a mopey Pepe at their feet. He hadn't moved since Emily arrived, and only sheepishly wagged his tail when Emily entered the kitchen.

Pepe didn't look good, worse than before. He just laid on the floor, and let Alison rub his stomach. His breathing was a bit labored, and Alison was crying heavily.

Emily immediately sat down next to Alison, and pulled her into a tight hug. It was unspoken, but they both knew that it was Alison's time to take Pepe to the vet. They sat in silence for over twenty minutes, just sitting with Pepe and making sure that he was alright.

"Are you taking him to the vet tomorrow?" Emily asked, as Alison rested her head on Emily's shoulder. "You know, to put him down.

"I think so," Alison said. "Will you come with me? It's going to be really hard."

"Of course it'll be hard," Emily said. "And of course I'll with you. You should probably go to bed now, we can't do anything about him now. It's late."

"Will you sleep with me?" Alison asked, as Emily stood up.

"Of course, baby," Emily said, holding out her hand. "Let's go to bed."

Emily laid awake in Alison's bed, Rollins's and Alison's bed. She felt guilty, he was trying! She couldn't prevent herself from not being with Alison like this, she felt something for Alison that was different than anything she had ever felt before. It was a scary and weird feeling.

Alison wasn't intertwined with her, instead she was apart from Emily, but facing her still. That was fine, she didn't expect Alison to cuddle with her every night, but it was nice to feel her skin. Alison's golden blonde hair fell down the side of her face and down her back in loose curls, and her full eyelashes covered sea blue eyes. She looked so angelic lying there, forgetting about what was going to happen when she awoke.

Emily watched her, trying to find her own sleep. It was a hard thing to do, especially when it was already close to morning by now. The sun was started to light up the sky, and Emily watched as the sky began to get brighter and brighter.

She didn't end up sleeping, instead she watched Alison sleep. She felt bad for her. Emily never really had a pet, so she never experienced pet death. But she felt Alison's grief, even if it wasn't her dog that was going to be put down in a few hours. She felt a lot of things for Alison, and she was glad that she was there to help Alison get through it.

She liked it, the feeling of going through things with Alison. Being there for each other, and sharing intimate moments together. Emily always knew she wanted more from what she and Alison shared, she didn't want to verbalize that just in case Alison ended it entirely. But, did she want it now more than ever?

She tried to imagine she and Alison, a few kids running around. Would Alison have the kids, or would Emily? How would it work, and how many would they have? What would they look like?

The sun continued to rise, and Emily could hear Pepe hacking from downstairs in the kitchen where they left him to rest.

Here Emily was, here when Alison's husband wasn't, here to help Alison through the loss of her beloved Pepe. She was here, and she was always there when her husband wasn't.


reviews help a lot and are very uplifting to me:)