A world of fog and steam surrounded him. There was a hiss of white noise: the rain, which was lessening now, that had initially poured down from the sky like buckets were being emptied on their heads. The hard earth was by now so waterlogged that the rain pooled on the ground, running in small rivulets as though looking for somewhere to go. But there was nowhere to go. There was only this place, a world of water caged in by the whiteness of the fog.
The man took a tentative step forward and the cage moved with him. If it weren't for his feet on the ground, he would have felt rather disoriented. He could just see a few feet around him, which revealed only muddy water to slosh through, and some very sparse, wilted grass.
Beyond the fog, a few large, dark masses loomed ahead of him, crumbling and shrinking in size even as he approached them. They vented huge billows of steam. A waft of it hit his face and he cringed in surprise. The rain had chilled him down to the bone, leaving his ears and fingers numb, making his back ache from the stiff way he held himself as he tried to suppress the shivering. But the steam was warm from the titans' bodies. The contrast was strange, but not unpleasant.
He used the blurry, indistinct shapes of the titans' corpses as a guide as he moved forward. The shifting fog and steam roiling along the ground obscured visibility greatly, but still he pressed on. He was unsure what to do with himself, but he felt as though he had to keep walking. Perhaps if he went far enough, he would leave this dreamy world of white fog and mud behind.
As he walked forward, something slowly became visible through the fog.
He stopped and stared dumbly at the sight in front of him, a new kind of numb feeling creeping into his body and settling in his chest. This went beyond the kind of physical numbness he felt in his hands, or in his feet in their wet socks. This went straight to his heart, until he couldn't feel, or react, or think.
It was a head.
Suddenly everything came back to Levi: the sight of his squad fighting the titans, and all of them dying one by one. He had seen it, he had known what had happened, but in a way he hadn't really understood what he'd seen. Until now. Isabel stared up at him with unblinking eyes.
Levi dropped to his knees, letting more water seep into his boots and getting his white pants dirty, and for once he didn't care. He closed her eyes and just stared at her. A light breeze ruffled one of her pigtails.
"Hey! Are there any survivors out there?"
From the periphery of his vision, Levi saw the fog parting to reveal two figures on horseback approaching. He continued to watch, as a drop of water slid down Isabel's cheek, leaving a clear path on her muddied face, to her chin. He was frozen in place, waiting to see if it would drip.
"Levi! Are you the only one left?" It was Erwin.
The drop of water dripped off Isabel's chin. Levi forced himself to look up.
Erwin's short blond hair looked darker when it was wet, and it stuck to his forehead in a dishevelled state. His green cape was soaked and dirty. He looked distressed, or perhaps a little confused, like something had not gone his way that really ought to have. At the moment, Erwin looked less like the politically-minded, smug bastard Levi knew him to be, and more like just any other member of the Survey Corps.
"The corpses of these titans... you did this alone...?"
Levi felt something through the numbness, something hot that cut through the cold void that had settled in him, and roused him enough to make him move. It felt like a fire threatening to consume him, and Levi welcomed it. He remembered saying that he was going to kill Erwin Smith.
The thing burning in Levi at that moment was pure rage. In any other moment, Levi would have taken note of their positions to calculate the risks of a fight. Erwin atop his horse was six feet higher than Levi's crouching position, and Erwin had backup. But this was not any other moment, it was that moment, and none of that mattered.
Levi lunged.
Chapter One
Levi was now the fifth member of this small band of riders making their way back to the main group. Around him was Erwin's squad; the other two had caught up to them shortly after they had set out. He stared ahead past the space between his mount's ears and focused on holding his seat. They were keeping a quick pace.
Much of that day was starting to feel like a dream. He had attacked Erwin, somehow tackling him off his horse and readying his blade in the same movement, too quick for even Mike to have been able to stop him. Levi knew that if he had swung hard enough, moved fast enough, he could have killed Erwin then and been done with it. But he had hesitated, just long enough for Erwin to block his blade and start talking.
When Erwin had started talking, Levi had blanked, unable to truly argue with him because he still felt like he couldn't think. Erwin didn't give him time to think, he just talked: about Levi's friends, about Lovof, about the Survey Corps. He had laid everything out so logically, explained all the details behind the business with Lovof, and had given all his reasons for why Levi should join the cause, and Levi had not had any idea what to do with all that information. Erwin had looked at him expectantly, like he wanted something from him, some kind of reply, but didn't he understand that Levi couldn't fucking think?
Levi had given up on trying to kill Erwin, and that had left him with no goal to focus on, so he had felt very lost. He couldn't even remember much of the conversation now, less than twenty minutes later. He remembered how it ended, though.
"We're going to rejoin the main group, and then we're returning to Shiganshina. Levi, you're coming with me."
There was no room for argument. Levi, who had no other goal to focus on, clung to that order like it was a promise. Levi, you're coming with me. He so desperately wanted to know what he should do with himself, so he made that order his goal. Levi would rejoin the main group. He would return to Shiganshina. He would go with Erwin.
"Squad leader! A titan, just ahead." One of Erwin's squad members who had been riding slightly ahead, the woman, fell back to relay the message. Levi had seen her once before, when these four had captured him, Furlan, and Isabel.
Soon they, too, could see it. Approaching them from their front-left corner, the titan was coming straight for them. If they continued forward, they would soon leave behind the cover of trees around them and any advantage they gave.
Before Erwin could make any orders regarding the titan, Mike rode up to them from behind. "A titan behind us. It was hiding in the trees, so not very big. 3-4 meter class, maybe. But I smell more."
"How many?" Erwin asked.
"It's hard to tell. All this rain - everything smells like water. And it's washed away some of their scent."
"Stay at the rear, but not so far back. We'll try to outrun the one you saw, but kill it if you deem it necessary, and let me know if you sense any others following us. I don't want to lead them back to the rest of the Corps."
"Sir." Mike began pulling away from the squad.
"Emil! Cover Mike," Erwin said, and the third man of the group pulled back from the right front point and followed Mike's lead.
With both the riders at the point having pulled back, Erwin was suddenly at the front. He spoke to the woman riding beside him. "Sophie, you and I will have to take care of this one." The titan ahead of them had started making its way through the trees.
Erwin turned to look directly behind him, where Levi rode, staring straight ahead with no expression on his face. "Levi." Levi's eyes shifted to Erwin and focused on him, but he said nothing. "Keep riding forward no matter what. I want you to keep us on our course." Levi nodded and then he looked ahead again, his eyes glazing over as they gazed into the distance.
Erwin and Sophie switched to 3D manoeuvring and zipped into the treetops above them. Levi rode past the titan as they engaged it, and he soon broke free of the treeline and undergrowth, Erwin's and Sophie's horses riding out with him. Levi did not look back to see if Mike and Emil still followed closely, or if the titan was down and everyone was safe, or if other titans had made appearances from the trees. If he looked over his shoulder and saw something bad, he didn't know what he would do about it. He didn't want to make any more difficult decisions today, so he just did as he had been asked. Levi thought bitterly that this was the closest he would probably ever come to being a good, obedient soldier.
From behind him, someone started whistling and the horses next to him slowed down. Shortly after, Erwin was seated atop his horse and had urged it ahead to catch up to Levi. "It's possible there are more titans around that ridge," Erwin said, pointing ahead to where the uneven ground created a ridge that blocked their view of much of the low valley beyond. "I want you to keep riding straight, no matter how many there are, unless I ask you to stop. Can you do that?"
Levi pulled his eyes away from that now-familiar spot between his horse's ears to return Erwin's look. The squad leader observed him with that calculating, icy blue gaze of his that made Levi feel like he was being read. Levi nodded.
"We're going to get back. If you can put your trust in me, I can get you home."
Under normal circumstances Levi might have had something snarky to say in reply, about how Flagon's squad didn't get to go home, or about him not needing Erwin's protection. Since he wasn't in the mood for it, he focused on the horizon and the ride ahead, reminding himself that Erwin had a track record for getting his soldiers home safely. Levi didn't want a fight; he wanted to get back alive.
Erwin turned to the other members of his squad and ordered them back into a formation. Mike rode ahead to the front, Erwin next to him. Emil and Sophie rode on either side of Levi. Levi realized absently that Erwin was keeping him at the centre and it felt claustrophobic. Did he really not trust him to do something so simple as ride straight? Sophie in particular kept side-eyeing him, and Levi couldn't shake the idea that she and Emil were here to keep him in line. He felt another hot flicker of his earlier anger.
They passed by the left side of the ridge, where the ground sloped downward to the valley. A long stretch of shadow blanketed this side of the slope. Levi didn't look around him, but there was an eeriness to the place, a stillness, the kind of off-putting lack of disturbance from birds or insects that told him what to expect even before he saw them.
Three titans were standing in the shadowed space behind the ridge, turning to the group of riders coming into view with those characteristically stupid faces. They immediately began to approach, the largest one, about 10 meters, making huge strides once it had struggled to its feet.
The titans would be on them soon. But that wasn't Levi's problem. He had been asked to ride straight, and that was what he would do.
Levi saw Mike pulling to the right, as Sophie and Emil dropped back, and the three surrounded the largest titan, Mike clearly aiming to get behind it. The titan's enormous foot swung dangerously close to Emil, whose horse reared onto its hind legs and made an impressive leap to the side, avoiding it by a hair's breadth - the corner of the saddle blanket could be seen whipping back as the titan's toe brushed it.
Emil pushed himself up out of the saddle and deployed his 3DMG in the same movement, sinking a hook into the titan's hip. He made a dangerous arc towards the ground as gravity pulled him down quicker than his grappling hook pulled him in. As he reached the ground, he touched down with both feet, kicking himself forward to stop from crashing, just before the grappling wire finished pulling him up to the titan's side.
And then the action was behind him. Levi resisted the urge to turn his head and see what was happening. Levi's horse, trained to try to keep in formation at all times, followed the front horse's lead and broke into a full on canter as soon as Erwin's did. Then Erwin veered to the left and yelled at Levi to do the same, probably to avoid running into the cluster of nearby trees they had now placed on their right side. Loud sounds behind them alerted Levi to a titan trailing them, and he had to assume one of the three from before had broken away from Mike and the others. Getting behind it from here would be awkward, so it seemed Erwin was hoping to outrun it until one of the others could give them backup.
At the speed they were going, the tall trees and brush on Levi's right were starting to blur into streaks of green and brown. The only clear focal point Levi had was the line of the horizon. Then, as they began to pull up a hill and gained a better vantage point, their destination came into view.
"Shit."
That knocked Levi out of his stupor. In the time Levi had known him, Erwin had always presented himself as polite and in control. Levi had to agree with him though, watching the unsuspecting soldiers ahead of them pause at their approach, and some of them leap into defensive positions. They had finally reached the main formation, on its way back to the base. Exactly where Erwin had said he didn't want to lead any titans.
Erwin looked back, but not at Levi. There was a focus in his eyes that Levi had not seen there before, but recognised all the same. There would be no time to wait for the others to give them backup.
Quickly, Erwin turned them around the bend of trees, aiming away from the weary soldiers and their supply carts. Erwin looked directly at Levi now. "Levi. Ride straight." And just as the line of trees creeped close enough to their right that Levi would have considered ignoring that command and swerving to avoid them - the thick undergrowth could lame their horses, there could be titans in the trees - Erwin deployed his 3DMG and pulled away into the branches.
Where the fuck was he going? Levi thought Erwin had gone into the trees to gain a better vantage point on the titan, but as precious long seconds ticked by with no mechanical clicks or whirring of the grappling wire, Levi began to doubt that.
Levi didn't bother trying to lose the titan or use his gear to escape to the trees. He had nowhere to go. It wasn't lost on him that Erwin had turned them away from the supply carts and the soldiers, only to check out. Levi was on his own. He had no delusions that he had any friends here. No one wanted him around; even Erwin had abandoned him.
In his own stubbornness, Levi didn't think of it like he was giving up. He didn't really understand the idea of "giving up," anymore than he understood what it meant to "try." You either did things - because you had to, not because you wanted to - or you failed. Levi was tired of feeling like he always had to do everything, because then he was responsible for fucking everything up. Like with his squad. He had tried to do everything on his own, and now here he was, alone, and trying to outpace a titan that sounded like it was gaining on him. No, he wasn't giving up, he was just choosing a different course of action.
What had Erwin said? "If you can place your trust in me, I can get you home." Well, Levi was past having any fucks left to give, and so he thought that if Erwin hadn't left him here like an asshole, he might have placed his trust in him, just because. As it was, Levi was so tired of making decisions for himself that he decided to follow Erwin's orders, whether he could trust him or not. When he finally allowed himself to single-mindedly focus on this goal - follow Erwin - he felt a sense of freedom.
With every step the titan took, its legs drew so dangerously close he could feel the heat radiating from its body. Levi felt an urge to close his eyes and block out the world, but he refused to do so. He was pretty certain that he was about to die, and he wanted to do it with his eyes wide open. Somehow, it seemed more dignified.
Isabel's wide eyes flashed into his mind.
Levi's hands had started shaking so hard that he was distracted, and almost didn't hear the mechanical zip of the 3DMG's grapple. He saw a titan's huge hand frighteningly close to him, but in that same moment, he heard a sharp and recognizable sound, the sound of blades tearing through flesh, and the hand continued forward past him, the arm flopping lifelessly to the ground.
Levi's horse jerked forward like something had struck her on the rump. As she began to rear, Levi tried to rein her in, giving a panicky shh that probably did not soothe her at all. Levi wasn't much in the mind to soothe anyone.
In the midst of this, he finally looked back over his shoulder. He had been wrong; it was not one of the titans they had left with Mike. This one was at least 15 meters from the looks of it, and Levi didn't remember enough of titan behaviour to know for sure, but he thought maybe it had been acting a bit like an abnormal, ignoring the huge group to chase him like that. A trail of gas could still be seen in the air, swooping in to where the titan's neck must have been, and forward, past Levi.
When Levi looked ahead once more, he saw Erwin dropping from a tree, the blood coating his twin blades just starting to dissipate. He sheathed them and strode purposefully towards Levi, whose horse was still shaking her head and pawing at the ground in agitation. Erwin reached for the bridle and smoothed a hand down the mare's nose, calming her almost instantly. Erwin's gaze locked with Levi's, and the intensity of it confused Levi for a moment. Was he angry?
"Sorry I took so long. Let's get back to the others."
The night had brought a chill that settled deep into the stone building the Survey Corps was using as their checkpoint, along with a pallid blue light that filtered through the narrow windows in bars. The rain had long stopped, but there was still a dripping sound from the eaves and nearby trees.
The room was filled with the constant sound of many people breathing together, and it was somewhat calming. Even still, Levi was not asleep, but lying face up, looking at the stripes of light and shadow amongst the support beams.
They had turned around and gone back the way they had come, without bothering to use the new scouting formation. Other than having to care for their gear and their horses, soldiers had been given free leave to do as they wished, most just eating and settling down to sleep. Levi had pulled his sleeping bag into a corner and laid down immediately, without bothering to eat. Erwin's squad had laid out their things nearby, and Emil had told Levi that if he needed to borrow some clothes Emil had an extra set. Of course, Levi had not said anything, or gotten up, and Emil had left him alone.
Now Levi sat up and glanced over the sleeping forms around him. Looking at himself, he suddenly realised how dirty he and his clothes were. He couldn't believe he had laid down like this. He reeked of body odour and his feet had been in his wet socks for so long they were starting to feel wrinkly and itchy, and they smelled. His pants had dried stiff with the muddy water. Under the leather jacket, his shirt had not entirely dried, and it clung to his skin.
What stood out to him most was the blood on his clothes and hands. Still there was that sense of being unable to think, the sense that there was more to what he was seeing than he could understand, and it was frustrating.
Fear filled him at the sight, even as he stood with the intent of finding a place to wash off, rationalising it to himself. He should expect the blood, after all the titans he had killed, and he had been covered in more blood before. Although Levi had talked himself down from such feelings of panic before, it wasn't really helping today. The only thing to do, then, was to wash it off, before he could begin to forget.
Some people were still awake and he saw heads turn his way as he moved. Erwin was among them, sitting with Shadis and a few others at a small table in one of the far corners. A single oil lamp burned low at that table, bathing them in a golden light that contrasted with the blue shadows. There was Erwin's intense gaze again, and Levi was reminded of Erwin dropping from a tree, bloodied blades in his hands. Bloodied blades that had quickly become clean.
Levi paused midstep, unable to breathe. He was overcome with the feeling that he wanted to crawl out of his skin, because it was so dirty there was no way it could ever become clean.
Titan blood evaporated.
"Levi!" someone called from behind him as he stormed out of the room and down a hallway.
"What is he -"
"Don't worry. I'll take care of it." It was Erwin. Footsteps padded heavily down the hallway after him, but at a leisurely pace. Levi was too distracted to be annoyed at being followed.
Levi tore open doors one after another, not knowing what he was looking for anymore, but knowing he would recognise it when he found it. Finally, one door opened to a room with water containers, a few tubs, and piles of filthy clothes against the wall. This must have been the room the others had been using for baths.
Levi began to strip, tossing his clothes aside and heading to one of the tubs. He dragged over one of the water containers and emptied it into the tub, then took a towel from a nearby bench and dunked it in the water. He did not check to see if the towel was even clean, since the tub had seen better days, and he was pretty sure he was using rainwater anyway. He began scrubbing at his face, and the towel came away maroon coloured - dirt and blood then.
He splashed more water on his face until it seemed somewhat clean, then peeled off the last of his remaining clothing and climbed into the tub, scrubbing furiously at his skin, his hands and forearms in particular, until the grime was gone. The water had gone a rust colour, and Levi stared, horrified, at the swirling red, thinking to himself that he had just washed off the last thing he had that remained of his family.
Levi soon got a hold of himself and climbed out of the tub of dirty water. Then he got another water container and filled yet another tub. As he climbed in, he heard a noise at the door and turned to see what it was. He was expecting Erwin, but it was Emil instead.
Emil walked in and put some things on a bench. There was a clean towel, some folded clothes, and something wrapped in a cloth. "I thought you might want to change here, rather than come back to the common room naked, so I brought you some clothes. I didn't see you bring any." Emil then headed for the door again. "And there's soap. If you need it." He left and closed the door.
Rather than ease fully into the tub, Levi stepped back out and headed for the bench. He grabbed the small wrapped object and began unwrapping it. As he expected, it was the soap. He took it back with him and as he used it, he began to feel a little better. The idea of soap was calming, giving him the sense of being actually clean, and he felt his breathing slowly return to normal. He even washed out his hair. He left the bathtub feeling totally detached from the events of earlier that day.
After towelling down and wrapping up the small bar of soap, Levi picked over the clothes Emil had brought him. Levi was used to having only one set of clothes, like many people from the Underground, even if he did keep them cleaner than most other people he knew. Since he hadn't planned on the Survey Corps' expedition lasting long, he had not thought to bring a change of clothing. These were probably Emil's then. It explained why they were too big for him. Levi shrugged them on anyway, rolling up the sleeves and pant legs, then grabbed his boots and jacket and began wiping them down. He left with his jacket and boots in one hand, the soap in the other and the towel slung over his shoulder. He had left his old clothes behind; they were beyond salvaging at this point.
When Levi reentered the common room where most people were sleeping, he attracted less stares this time. He saw Emil at the table where Erwin and Shadis both still sat. Emil and Erwin were talking quietly, and seriously from the looks of it. Levi made his way over to his corner, stopping on the way to put the soap down with Emil's things, and the towel, once he had folded it.
When he got to his sleeping bag in the corner, he wrinkled his nose in disgust at the state of his blankets. Dirt had crumbled off his dirty clothes and gathered in the folds, and there were bloodstains. He picked up the bedroll by both ends and carried it away, being careful not to get any dirt on the ground near his sleeping area. He glanced in Erwin and Emil's direction and caught Erwin's eye.
"Do you need another sleeping bag?" Erwin asked.
Levi gingerly placed the filthy blankets against the wall, away from everyone, and nodded. Erwin pushed himself out of his chair and made his way to a different room. It was suddenly awkwardly quiet as Erwin's companions went silent, and tried hard not to stare at Levi.
After what seemed like a very long couple of minutes, Erwin returned, a new sleeping bag draped over one arm. He handed it to Levi and placed his hand on Levi's shoulder in a friendly gesture that seemed a bit forced. "Get some rest."
Levi made his way back to his corner and settled down, extremely self-conscious of any noise he made. The soldiers sleeping around him seemed too deeply asleep to notice, clearly exhausted, and judging from all the people sitting up, it seemed that those who couldn't sleep had already given up.
Levi shuffled into the sleeping bag and turned towards the wall, curling in his legs. He let his eyes fall closed and tried to focus on that rhythmic sound of breathing around him, to keep himself calm. He wasn't about to hope too strongly for sleep tonight, though lying down still seemed like a good idea, so when Levi next opened his eyes, he instantly felt disoriented. It felt like only a moment had passed, but the room was bright with sunlight. He sat up, squinting his eyes against the ray of sunshine that bathed his face. He had actually slept. He supposed that was for the best, but he couldn't help but be disappointed that he didn't feel very refreshed.
The soldiers made their preparations quickly, a necessity if they wanted to avoid any titans that would be waking up with the sunlight. By the time Levi had awoken, they were mostly ready to go. He rolled up his sleeping bag and strapped himself into his gear and boots, then headed to the stables. The supply carts were already loaded, and horses were being harnessed to them. Some of the more experienced squads that made up the vanguard seemed to already be gone, probably watching the perimeter for titans.
Erwin's squad, with the exception of Erwin himself, were standing together talking, their horses already saddled up. Levi saw that his own black horse was standing with theirs and Sophie was buckling up the girth strap. When she was done, he made his way over and mounted, then started adjusting his 3DMG straps and jacket to avoid conversation.
"Oh, hey. We were just going to send someone to go get you," Sophie said to him. "We'll be leaving as soon as the carts are ready to go. Erwin said you'll be riding with our squad."
There was an awkward pause as she gave Levi the chance to respond.
"I don't know if you had time to eat, but I figured you probably wouldn't, so I got you this." Levi looked down at the proffered bread roll. Just as he reached for it, Erwin's voice grabbed the squad's attention.
"Everybody up. We're heading out behind the first supply cart."
Levi took the bread roll and watched as Sophie, Emil and Mike quickly mounted their horses and arranged themselves into a formation, placing Levi in the centre again. Erwin rode to the front and turned his horse to face the open gateway in front of them. As the first supply cart began rolling out, they followed behind, at a fairly relaxed pace for now. Levi took the opportunity to eat his breakfast, knowing the comfortable speed may not last.
The first few hours of riding they did not encounter any titans. As the sun rose higher, chasing away the remains of the early morning chill and further brightening the sky, titans could be seen on the horizon around them, making their way towards the large group.
They were still not using the scouting formation. Levi was unsure if it they were choosing to avoid it because of the catastrophic outcome the previous day or because they simply did not have enough soldiers left for it to work. The Survey Corps fell back on what Levi had been told during his training was their standard formation.
It was a strange arrow-shaped formation that was denser in soldiers at the front point than at the sides or back to make up for the higher encounter rate at the point. The supply carts moved in a single file straight down the middle, quite a ways back, to give the front point time to take out any titans they ran into before the carts caught up. The extra horses were kept in the gap between the vanguard and the supply carts, where they were in easy reach of a majority of the squads. Erwin's squad was currently on cart defence, where Flagon's squad had been before, which, just like in Erwin's formation, was one of the safest places to be.
"Erwin, we've got titans coming from the east. A good number of them," Mike said around noon. It was the first anyone in their squad had said in hours. Levi wondered if they were always this quiet.
"Mike, could you go talk to Shadis about it?" Erwin asked.
"OK." Mike rode ahead to the front of the supply carts where the commander was. Levi eyed the eastern horizon to see if any more titans could be seen running over the hilltops, but at the moment there was nothing. Mike's nose sure was handy, especially without any major scouting capabilities.
A short time later, Mike had returned to them and Levi saw soldiers from the front falling back to fill out the right flank. Levi kept his eyes locked to the eastern horizon, waiting to see any signs of titans.
Levi had eaten his bread roll already, but he was still hungry, and the crusty bread had made his throat dry, so he began fishing around his saddle to find his water bottle, keeping his gaze up. He wanted to see them as soon as they showed up; Levi felt oddly vulnerable when he couldn't see a threat, and there was a certain morbid curiosity in him as well. For some reason, he needed another good look at the monsters that had killed his family.
He was gulping his water - when there was little food, drinking more water could help fill an empty stomach and give some temporary relief from hunger - when he saw the first titan.
Levi pulled his water bottle away a little too quickly, and spilled some on his shirt front. Meanwhile, the others had seen the titans too, and suddenly there was a flurry of voices and movement around them as people reorganized themselves. It was quickly clear that there were many, as Mike had said. A group of seven of them had already come into view, and were coming towards the formation like they had heard them from afar.
Did they travel in packs? It always seemed like they showed up in groups, which was not good news for the soldiers tasked with taking them out. Luckily, Wall Maria could already be seen ahead of them, so they wouldn't have to fight them off for the rest of the day.
One of the titans was stupidly waving its arms above its head. Levi couldn't take his eyes off of it. Titans were terrifying and disgusting, but at the moment, he couldn't help but notice how ridiculous they looked. Like fat naked men with huge grins, skipping along and flailing their limbs in their individually goofy ways. It only made them seem more disturbing, to notice the complete lack of anger or maliciousness in something so violent.
As the titans neared, the riders on the right flank actually seemed to part around them, but Levi figured that was so they could get the titans surrounded. People were soon whirling through the air in a complex dance of twisting limbs, flashing blades, and taut wires, smoky white trails of steam ejected from their canisters tracing their paths in arcs. One short titan that had managed to get by the first row of soldiers was now running towards the first cart. Mike pulled hard to the right and urged his horse to go on a path that would lead him to right behind the titan, but it didn't look like he would get there fast enough to stop it reaching the cart.
Erwin hadn't given any orders, so it must have been a given that his squad could do as they needed to protect the carts. Levi slipped his feet from the stirrups and bent one knee under him, preparing to use his 3DMG to get on top of the cart in front of them: it was the only available thing to grapple onto that would give any height, and from there, he could probably aim for the titan's side, then swing around to the -
"Levi, what are you doing?" Erwin was looking at him, but his face was unreadable in the short moment Levi had to see it before the squad leader turned back to the titan. "Let Mike handle it."
But Mike wouldn't make it in time. Levi looked at the titan, bracing for the inevitable destruction when it crashed into the cart and its horses, only to see Mike flying upwards, expelling a lot of gas in order to get the height he needed, and going far faster than Levi had expected. When Mike had gotten just a bit higher than the titan's shoulders and neck, he hooked onto the shoulder behind him and snapped back and down, putting all his speed and weight to good use to easily slice out the back of the titan's neck.
The titan fell to its knees, then began tilting forward. The cart had passed it before its head hit the ground, but the plumes of dust it tossed up with its fall wrapped over Sophie, who had been at the back. She flapped her arm in front of her face to wave away the dust, but otherwise seemed unconcerned.
Levi was actually impressed. He'd known the Survey Corps had the best soldiers, and that Mike was very good - he could attest to it from their encounter before - but it still surprised him. Their moves and speed were nothing he couldn't do himself, but until the day he'd run into these guys, they were things he had never seen anyone else pull off.
The right flank was still under pressure from titans and Levi saw a few people struggling with the very same one that had caught his attention by waving its arms earlier. He watched as the titan snatched a soldier right out of the air. Before anyone could do anything about it, it had brought the soldier to its mouth and bit his head off.
There were screams - Levi supposed there would always be screams when something like that happened, no matter how many times these soldiers had seen it - and there was blood running down the dead man's arm, onto the titan's hand. The rest of the man's body was soon stuffed into that huge, gaping mouth. The titan had stopped, savouring its meal, yet Levi couldn't stop staring even as they rode by it. Sophie, who was still behind them, rode into his field of view.
"Hey, keep your eyes forward. Trust the others to take care of it." As soon as she had blocked his view of the action, Levi had relaxed, not sure why he had been fixated on the gruesome sight. He would have followed her advice - maybe - except for what he then saw over her shoulder.
Sophie must have noticed his eyes shift focus, or perhaps heard the commotion, because she soon glanced over her own shoulder. "Shit." She turned back to him and gave him a sheepish grin. He made out enough of her words to guess that she had probably made a casual joke about not always being right, but usually they would be able to take care of it, but he couldn't hear her over the people behind them yelling, and then she was addressing someone else.
"Emil!"
"I see it!"
An abnormal that moved mostly on all fours had leaped over many of the soldiers on the right flank and landed in the midst of the formation. A few soldiers had been knocked over under its weight, and Levi could hear the horses' panicked whinnies as they struggled away, more than one with devastating-looking limping and other injuries. The second cart had been knocked over, tilted on its side, one of its horses partially crushed under it, another horse turned sideways with the cart, struggling to free itself from its harness.
The formation had ground to a halt. They had not been going especially fast before, but they were now at a complete standstill, and the carts behind the one that had crashed were turning this way and that to fan around the crash site and avoid getting caught up with the titan.
A young woman with an obviously broken leg, who was trying to crawl away, was picked up and bitten in half.
Emil and Sophie were soon there. Sophie had actually grappled to the abnormal's hand, even though it was right next to its face, slicing off some fingers, and the female soldier's remains fell away. Levi figured Sophie had probably been trying to save that soldier, but had not been fast enough. Emil shot up next, slashing at the other hand as it tried to grab him, and Sophie took the opportunity to get to the back, soon slicing at the titan's neck.
The squad that had been behind the second cart had just made their way around, and they froze as they saw the titan fall dead. There was no time for relief. They soon joined in with those protecting the right side of the carts from the titans.
Levi tugged at his horse's reins in order to face the fighting, and as soon as he had, Erwin had immediately appeared right at his side. Erwin held out one hand slightly, as though to block Levi from joining in the action. "It's almost over. There's no need for all of us to jump in."
Levi wasn't sure how he felt about the fact that Erwin did not seem to want him fighting, even though that was why he had brought Levi here. It made Levi feel more useless and out of place than he had since the days with Kenny. But Erwin was right. Even in the time that Levi had spent pondering the wisdom of Erwin's keeping them back, it was over.
They had a chore ahead in dealing with the crashed cart. The soldiers who had been in the fighting took the opportunity to relax, and kept watch, while the others gathered the casualties, provided aid, and attempted to salvage the second cart.
Erwin had ordered Levi to help with the cart, then went to see Shadis. Levi dismounted and made his way towards the crashed vehicle, where it was absolute chaos. There were too many people, all talking over each other, and supplies and debris from the cart spread around in a mess, everything covered in mud. Too bad the ground had not yet fully dried.
Some people were holding onto the struggling horse caught in its harness at the front of the cart as one man cut away at the leather to free it. On the other side, the horse that had been crushed under the cart was apparently still alive. A man with a goatee was kneeling beside it, but he stood as Levi approached.
"There's no way she'll make it back, and she'd be put down anyway. We gotta do it." He appeared to be addressing the people standing beside him. He took one of his 3DMG handles and clicked a blade into place, sliding it from its sheath.
A young woman said, "I can't watch. I hate when they have to kill the horses."
Was she serious? Levi stared at her indignantly as a pained look crossed her face. People had died today, some of them were still dying, he could hear their crying. But this girl was upset about the fucking horse? There was always some whiny, bleeding heart -
"Geez, I…" The soldier had lowered his blade. He had clearly lost his nerve. The others nearby had apparently never had any to begin with. At the sound of the horse's pained noises, Levi decided to do them all a favour.
Levi strode over and clicked a blade onto his own handle, swung it out and slashed the horse's throat. For one second, she let out a high pitched squeal that didn't really sound like a horse, but then was mercifully silent. The gasps and cries of the onlookers, unfortunately, did not stop.
He remembered being told that there was no humane way to kill a horse with a knife, the proper way was to shoot it, but they didn't have guns. Well he had done the best he could, although he may have gone a little overboard in his effort to ensure he wouldn't need another stroke. Levi clicked a button on his handle to release his bloodied blade and let it drop to the ground. Then he went to help pick up supplies like he'd been told to.
The chaos was soon under control as squad leaders arrived and began giving orders, telling people to move out of the way, or do something in particular, or stop talking. The injured were carried away to other carts, and the horses had been accounted for, the severely injured ones put down, many others tied up in a train to be led back home. Things soon grew more quiet.
There were some heavy boxes that were moved to other carts, but a lot of stuff ended up being left behind and the cart was abandoned. Some soldiers, including Levi, pushed the debris to the side so it wasn't blocking the path. This area was not paved, but being so close to Wall Maria, the path had been travelled enough that they had worn a trail into the ground that was clear and fairly even, so it acted a bit like a road. It was worth keeping open for future expeditions.
Everyone mounted up, and the squads rearranged themselves into a slightly different formation that protected the rear more than the front and put the carts and horses much further ahead than before. It was the one they used when about to reenter the city. They were going to reenter the city. The squads that had been in relative safety before swapped places with those from the front point and the right flank, leaving Erwin's squad somewhere near the back. There were two rows of squads behind them, but it still felt oddly open to be so far back, and not surrounded by the carts, after those hours of cart defence.
When they set out, they were moving much more quickly. There were apparently some titans that had been seen behind them, and they were hoping to outrun them. Levi was getting fed up with how the titans were such a constant nuisance. How did anyone put up with this? The threat was never ending.
The titans were getting awfully close when Wall Maria suddenly loomed over them. Levi was startled at how close it now was; he must have not been paying attention for it to have happened without him even noticing it. It didn't even feel real, in a way, the thought of going back to the cities after all of this. This had become his world for a short while and completely changed his life, and he really couldn't imagine the world within the walls, going on as usual, untouched by this insanity.
The gate lifted partially, some soldiers from the Garrison waiting on the other side to ride out and help cover the perimeter as the spare horses and carts lined up at the front. They had made it. They were going back behind the walls.
"Don't open the gate!" It was Commander Shadis. "There are too many titans here!"
Levi's shoulders stiffened as though a chill had brushed against his neck. Hadn't they been outrunning them? Why had they waited until now if they were just going to fight them? Levi knew Shadis had probably been truly hoping to avoid more conflict, and was making the correct choice for the situation, but it just seemed very stupid.
Luckily, while the gate's momentum slowed, it was still about eight feet high by the time it stopped, and the Garrison backup were out, the horses passing through first. The first cart was already slowly wheeling up, its top brushing against the gate as it did so.
The first titan had reached the squads guarding the back. It was a little one, which made Shadis's paranoia about the gate seem more sensible. People were flying through the air on their gear again, and Levi really didn't want to see it. He did not want to see any more blood. He did not want to see anyone else die today.
"We may be here a few minutes while the carts get in," Sophie pointed out. She turned her horse to put the gate to her back. The others were doing the same.
"Yes. We'll have to be ready to deal with any threats that get past Anika's and Walter's squads," Erwin said. His gaze was steady and calm.
One moment they were standing and watching intently, and the next they were reacting to a titan running straight at them after a soldier had failed to take it out in one stroke. Erwin yelled, "Forward! Go!" and pushed at Levi's shoulder so hard it felt like he had hit him, then jerked his horse to the side to avoid the titan, right into Levi's horse, and Levi was nearly knocked from his saddle.
Levi recovered in time to keep his seat and kicked at his mount's sides to ride forward once she had gained her footing, as Erwin had ordered, then saw Emil taking down the titan. Levi rode back to the others once the titan had collapsed and watched as the body crumpled and disintegrated before his eyes.
Another glance at the gates told them that there was one more cart to go. The squads drew closer together, and some of them even began withdrawing through the gate on either side of the cart.
"Alright, let's get back," Erwin said, and the five of them rode back together, riding through the gate just behind the last cart. Moments later, the last of the squads had withdrawn and the gate was being lowered those eight slow feet to the ground.
There was a heavy thunk as it settled into place.
Erwin pulled up beside Levi, looking at him with that calculating look again. Levi looked back at Erwin, this man who had manipulated and tricked him, whom he had hated and tried to kill, who had asked for Levi's trust and saved his life the other day, when Levi could not be bothered to care enough to do it himself. The contradictions didn't really leave him feeling confused, or guilty, but rather empty. He still didn't know how to feel. He couldn't feel, couldn't react, couldn't think.
"I promised that I would get you home." Erwin's voice was calm and flat, his face and tone impossible to read as always. Levi cleared his throat.
"Yeah. You did."
