Hey guys!
So this chapter is a little Bethyl, a little awkward, and a lot intense at the end. IDK if you guys will like what Maggie's going to reveal but it is what it is so oh well.
Enjoy!
We. All. Got. Jobs. To. Do.
~MaggieRhee
"So you've tried to pass along your doubt
Oh you need somebody's ears to hear you shout
All your wasted and days and twisted ways are up
So now its time to see the cards your dealt"
-Phantoms and Friends.
-Old Man Canyon
I felt empty, yet also full. Like a plastic bag carrying heavy rocks my belly was full of life while I, full of death and impending doom, felt like air.
The morning after I found out, I couldn't be bothered to get out of bed. I was too tired from crying all night. Even though my visit with Dr. Peters had made me feel better, it didn't mean I felt right. Glenn hadn't bothered to waken me, and I was glad he didn't.
Instead, Beth woke me up the next morning.
"Maggie?" she asked.
I tried to fix my face before turning over to her. "Yeah?"
"It's almost lunch. Do you want me to bring you anything?"
"Lunch?" I asked, I shot up in bed and a wave of nausea hit me.
"Yeah, but Glenn told us all you weren't feeling very well. It's okay if you want to rest some more."
"No, Beth. Glenn was wrong I feel just fine. Now let me get dressed and I'll go apologize to everyone for missing today."
"I've been filling in for you. For your classes, I mean."
"Who filled in for you in the kitchen?"
"Daryl."
"Daryl was in the kitchen?" I asked, amused for a moment. "Did they make him wear a hair net and apron and everything?"
She giggled. "Yeah, they did. He didn't appreciate it much."
"I can't imagine he did."
She smiled at me for a moment. "I heard you and Glenn got in pretty late last night. Something go wrong at the drugstore?"
I pretend to look confused. "No? We just took awhile I guess." I shrugged and got up to get dressed.
"Okay. But why? I was starting to get worried."
I rolled my eyes. "Beth, I don't have to tell you why I was gone." I started shuffling around my three shirts, trying to make myself look busy.
"But can't you?" she pushed. I wondered what she knew.
I threw my things down and looked at her. "Beth, what Glenn and I do when we're away is none of your business. Okay? I really appreciate you filling in for me today. I'll come and meet you at lunch in a few minutes. Let me just get myself together first."
"Okay." Beth nodded and started to walk away but she stopped and turned to me. "So you're not-"
"Not what?" I shot at her.
She looked scared but also strong like she always does. "Pregnant?"
I glared at her. "No." I lied. "Who told you I was pregnant?" I tried to make my voice sound pissed off and cool instead of like I was drowning.
She shrugged. "Daryl was the one that found the holes in the condoms." she said. "I know me and Glenn picked them up from the same pile so-"
"Well, I'm not pregnant Beth. That's ridiculous. And that's why we took so long last night. Glenn told me about the bad condoms and I was angry that he hadn't told me sooner. I took a test, three of them actually, but they were all negative. I'm fine. Okay?" I turned back to my clothes. "We're all fine."
She stood there for a second. Beth had never been so suspicious before all of this. The walkers had turned her into a curious creature.
Her hands were in her jean pockets and her shoulders were raised slightly. She bit her lip before speaking. "Okay, I'll believe you then. I just wanted to make sure you were okay."
"I'm fine. But thank you for worrying about me." I said. "Now go on and get to lunch. I'll meet you there."
She nodded and turned slightly but came back over to me. "But why are you lying to me?" she asked.
"Oh, Jesus. Beth," I sighed and sat on the bed. "Can't you just pretend to believe me."
"Well, I tried. Okay? Maggie I really did, for your sake." she stopped. "You're usually a good liar but the baby's changing that I guess."
"How is the baby changing that?"
"So there is a baby?" she asked.
I looked at her, her big blue eyes staring at me. I'd been a role model for her for all these years. Was I just supposed to tell her that this was okay? That I was going to make it through this and come out on top of my bad situation? I wasn't sure what to do.
"Maggie, I'm not five years old anymore. I'm not watching you ride horses with daddy but standing' back 'cause I'm too little. Okay? I'm here. And I'm here for you. You've been there for me all these years so," she grabbed my hands. "So no matter what's going on with you I can handle it. I can help." she said. "But only if you want me to."
I nodded. She was right. She wasn't a little girl anymore. Neither of us were. We weren't on the farm. We were out in the ugly real world now. Neither of us had a real choice about how things went but we did have a choice of being honest with each other.
"Beth," I said, trying not to cry at least. I didn't need to also let her know I was scared. "There is a baby. But, I'm not going to let this do to me, what it did to Lori. That was a lot different. Walkers were attacking, I didn't know how to deliver a baby, Lori wanted to have it. Things were different." I said. "I'm not Lori. I'm Maggie and I'll survive this just like I've survived everything else." I said.
She nodded. "So are you going to have it?" she asked, I could tell she was nervous.
I shrugged. "I don't know yet. Glenn and I are supposed to go and meet with Dr. Peters tonight."
"Dr. Peters knows but I didn't?" she asked, insulted.
"You're never supposed to lie to your doctor Beth. That's dangerous."
"Well you're never supposed to lie to your sister either."
"That's not actually a rule." I said.
"Well, it should be. I deserve to know."
"And now you do know. But you can't tell anyone else. Not Daryl. Not anyone. Okay? Promise me?"
"I promise." she said. "But, will you tell me what happens at your appointment?"
I nodded. "Sure." I wrapped my arms around her. "Whatever happens I'm going to need my sister through it."
Just then, someone appeared in front of us.
"Here," he said, shoving a plate of food in my face.
I looked up to see that it was Daryl. In all his netted-hair glory. The aprons the kitchen hands used barely stretched across his body. "Glenn asked me to bring this to you."
I took it from him. "Thank you Chef Daryl." I said.
He walked towards me, ready to attack and Beth stood up and put her hands on his chest. "Alright, back to the kitchen then."
"Beth, no." he said. "I've been gettin' laughed at all day in this shit." he tried to rip off his hair net but it was stuck. "Besides, the girls in the kitchen keep lookin' at me all weird."
"You'll just have to deal with it for the rest of today. Maggie will be back at it tomorrow but until then I need to cover her classes."
"Wait, aren't you on perimeter all day? Who's covering you?"
"Carl." the both said, shrugging simultaneously.
"I'll do the classes. You take the kitchen." He said, trying to untie his apron.
Beth stopped his hands. "Nope, we agreed that you're too angry to be around children and knives at the same time remember?"
"Well shit." he said as Beth pushed him out of my bunk.
"I'll see you later." she said. "Love you."
I smiled. "Love you too."
It was dark and a few hours after dinner. We wanted to wait until everyone had gone to bed until we left. Since these appointments, at least for awhile, would most likely be regular. I didn't want anyone to notice us going in and out of the office.
Glenn and I had seen each other at dinner but hadn't been able to discuss anything in front of anyone. He had a council meeting after and I hadn't seen him since then. It was getting late and I didn't want Dr. Peters to think I'd forgotten we were supposed to meet.
I decided to leave without him. I was about half way to his office when I heard someone in one of the store sheds.
I looked over to see if I could see anyone until I heard something being thrown against the wall. I crouched down behind one of the tires on one of the train cars and listened. I'd brought my knife but that was it.
I saw two shadows in the shed. One of them was pacing and the other was leaning against the wall.
They were arguing. One woman. One man. In the darkness, I couldn't tell who they were through the windows. I was sure they lived here though. If not their attack was very poorly planned since it look like it was starting with an argument.
The man threw his hands up in surrender before slamming his fist in to a wall. The woman went over to him and ran her hands over his arms, trying to calm him down. He flinched away from her and stormed out of the shed.
"Just sleep on it tonight. We can decide things in the morning." I heard the woman say. My eyes tried to adjust to see their faces.
"It might be too late by then." the man growled.
"Everything is fine tonight. No one is looking to you to make a decision right now." I saw now that the woman was Michonne.
"I am responsible for these people. If someone dies their blood is on my hands."
"Not just your hands." she said. "There's a whole council to help govern this place."
The man came into the light then it was Rick. He was laughing. "The council?" he scoffed with his head down. "The council. Yeah." He punched one of the water bins next to him and the water that remained in it spilled onto the dirt, turning it to mud. "The council is in pieces. They're torn." he shook his head. "None of us have any idea what to do about this."
"Listen," Michonne grabbed his shoulders. "Rick, listen to me. The council will come to a conclusion. We will decide and we will help you tell these people what will become of their lives." she said. "Right now, you just have to give it up and go to sleep."
He shook his head. His voice was softer now, weak yet still angry. "That council meeting was a disaster." he said. "No one can know how broken this council is." he said.
"And they won't. Okay? We're smarter than that. We know how to put on a good show for these people. The council understands that we have to act calm so everyone else will remain calm. Rick, things will be okay."
"Okay?" he said. "My council is broken. My family is broken." he said.
"I know. But they'll fix themselves soon. But not tonight." she said. "Let's sleep tonight and wake up with clearer heads tomorrow."
Rick didn't say anything. He just stood up and walked away. Michonne sighed and followed him.
I wondered how bad the council meeting had gone. If Glenn ever came to meet me I would have to ask him about it.
After I was sure they were gone I started walking again. I'm sure Rick wouldn't appreciate me knowing everything he'd just told Michonne so I decided that it was best no to reveal myself.
After a few moments, Glenn caught up to me.
"Hey," he said. He put his hand on my back and kissed my cheek.
"Hey," I said. "Um, how was the council meeting?" I asked, hoping he might clue me into what was going on.
"Fine." he said. I wasn't sure if he was lying. Maybe he just didn't want to stress me out anymore than I already was.
"Really?" I asked. "I thought things might be pretty stressful after the attack."
He shrugged. "I guess. Tyreese and Rick are disagreeing on most things but that's nothing that out of the usual." he said.
"So nothing peculiar happened then?" I asked.
He shook his head again. "No, why?" he said after I pressed the issue.
"Well," I started. "Rick and Michonne were over in on of the storage cars and," I paused. "They didn't see me or anything but I could hear them and they sounded pretty heated. They were talking about the council meeting."
"Rick always gets worked up after council meetings." he said nonchalantly. "It's nothing Maggie, trust me."
I had a feeling he was just telling me what I wanted to hear. Rick was just being intense like Rick always was and there was actually nothing to worry about. However, I planned on asking him more later. Right now we had more important things to deal with. "Okay." I said.
Glenn spoke quickly then.
"But what about you? How has your day been? How are you feeling? Are you okay? Do you need anything before we go to Dr. Peters'?" his questions came like factory parts. Off the conveyor belt of his tongue and into the air. I couldn't keep up.
He was still speaking and I stopped. "Glenn," I said. "I'm fine."
He looked at me, confused. "You're fine?"
I nodded. "Yeah. I'm fine." I said. "I don't want to treat this like anything that it isn't." I tried to explain. "I just want to take care of what we need to and then move on like it never happened." I said.
He looked at me for a moment. I think he might've been slightly shocked at what I was suggesting. "Maggie," he started. "I know we Haven't had a lot of time to talk about this. I mean, it was just last night that we figured out you were even pregnant." he whispered as if the wind could hear us. "Are you sure that's what you want to do? Just-" he paused and looked down at my belly. I wish he hadn't. "Just make it all disappear?"
I bit my lip and paused. "Yeah," I nodded after a moment. "I do."
He looked and me and began to nod. "Then that's what we'll do."
His voice was serious and even though I didn't know if he agreed with me, I was glad he supported me.
Dr. Peters had Maggie lay down on one of the cots with her knees bent in the air. We'd brought a blanket for her to cover her legs with so things felt more private. I stayed by her head so she felt more comfortable. I also wanted to give Dr. Peters his space. I trusted him with Maggie and he seemed to be helpful so far. I hoped he could continue to do so.
He explained to Maggie that he was going to do a more in depth exam on her cervix. Something about the color or consistency would allow him to tell for sure if she was pregnant, how far along she was exactly, and things like that. He said that if things checked out like he thought they would, that she conceived on our anniversary, then we could talk about what our options were.
I listened to Dr. Peters the best I could but it was uncomfortable in a way that was hard to describe. Nothing that he was talking about made me squeamish or laugh but it was more like I was nervous. I hadn't ever had to do this with someone. I'd planned to be a few years older before I had kids but of course that was before the dead started walking. I'd never had to handle a situation like this and I didn't know how to go about it. Dr. Peters' office was an environment I wasn't used to.
As Dr. Peters put on gloves and talked more to Maggie, I barely listened. I was too busy being impressed by Maggie. She was laying on the cot, completely calm. Her face was neutral, her body was relaxed, and her voice, if anything, was positive.
I wasn't sure how she could behave this way because I knew I wasn't. I was so stirred up and crazy. My brain was spinning yet she was entirely still. I wondered if it was some sort of female intuition that made her this was or if she always handled doctor visits with this level of calmed maturity. Either way, I would have never guessed that this was the same girl who tried to poison herself twenty-four hours ago.
"Okay Maggie," Dr. Peters said from a chair he placed at the end of the cot. "Are you ready?"
She nodded. "Yeah, I'm ready."
"Okay, then let's get started."
He had a tray of tools next to him that I wasn't sure what they were for. When I eyed them and looked at Maggie she shrugged, letting me know she didn't know either. I wondered how she could trust anyone with such cold metal objects between her knees, I knew I couldn't, but I guess if she trusted Dr. Peters, she would let him do what he needed to.
I saw her face squint slightly. She winced quietly, noise that I recognized. I'd only heard during the nights when we were alone in our bunk. It seemed strange to hear it here.
"Okay, Maggie." Dr. Peters started. "Have you ever had an exam like this done before?" he asked, his voice muffled by the blanket in a way I didn't like.
"Um, yeah once before." she said, still getting used to whatever pain she was feeling. I knew she wasn't really hurting but just uncomfortable.
"And what was that for?" he asked.
She seemed to relax a little but she glanced up at me. "Um, it was a few years ago now." she said.
"Okay," he said. "But why did you have the exam?" he said.
Maggie's lips pressed into a line before she spoke. "The doctor wanted to do one before I went on birth control for the first time." she said.
"Oh," he said.
There were a few moments of silence and Maggie seemed to ease.
"Maggie, how old are you?" he asked.
"Twenty-three." she said.
"This is your first pregnancy?" he asked.
"Um," she paused, confused. "Yeah. Yeah, it's my first."
"Okay." he sort of dragged out the word like he was unsure of her answer.
"Why?" I asked. "Is everything not up to code down there or something?" I laughed, trying to ease the tension I was feeling.
"Glenn," Maggie's hand found my arm. I looked at her and she shook her head. I guess she didn't want me asking questions.
Dr. Peters rolled his chair back so he could see us. "Have you had sex in the last 48 hours?" he asked.
Maggie almost smirked. "Are you kidding? With all that I've been dealing with? No."
Dr. Peters looked confused. "Okay. Have you used a tampon or anything of the like within that time?" he asked.
She shook her head. "No." her tone was serious now. "Why?"
"Well," he tilted his head for a moment before rolling his chair towards her again. "I just can't-"
"What is it?" I asked.
"Glenn, please?" Maggie said.
"What? Obviously something's not right. I wish he would just tell us." I said quietly even though Dr. Peters could hear.
"Just stop okay? Please?" she seemed stressed, unlike before. I wondered why she was like this now.
"You're sure this is your first pregnancy?" he asked again.
Maggie looked towards him. She didn't say no right away.
"Maggie?" I asked.
She didn't look at me. "Why?" she asked Dr. Peters.
"Well, it just doesn't look like it's your first." he said.
Maggie was quiet.
"Maggie," I said. "Isn't it?"
She stayed silent. I felt my face turn red.
Dr. Peters rolled his chair back. "Glenn, maybe Maggie would be more comfortable if you left for the rest of the exam." his tone wasn't accusatory but I knew he wasn't getting the answers he expected from Maggie.
I wasn't either.
"What?" I asked.
The room was quiet before Dr. Peters spoke. "Glenn, I know you're worried about Maggie. I understand that. I know that as the father of the baby, that is most definitely in here, that you're concerned about what Maggie is going through. But I think for her to be honest with me, you might have to leave."
"She is being honest with you. It's her first pregnancy just like she told you it was. Why don't you believe her?"
"There's a distinct difference between a cervix that belongs to someone who has been pregnant. And to someone who hasn't. Maggie has the signs that tell me she's been pregnant before. I just don't understand-"
"Well then just take her word for it." I shook my head. "Right, Mags?"
She didn't say anything.
He eyed Maggie. "Maggie," he said. "If you're going to be my patient, then you have to promise to be honest with me." he said. "You were honest with me about the pills right?"
She nodded. "Right." I saw tears in her eyes.
"Then you have to be honest with me all the time. Otherwise I can't give you and this baby the best care possible and I don't know if I can help you anymore."
She nodded slowly then turned to me. She cried as she spoke. "Glenn, I'm so sorry. You never had to know about this before. I didn't plan on ever telling you."
"Telling me what?" I asked. My heart was in my stomach.
"I'm sorry." she said.
"Sorry for what?" I asked again. I couldn't believe this.
She laid back on the table, calm again.
Dr. Peters said, rolling towards Maggie again. "This your second pregnancy?"
Her tears had stopped but her arms remained above her head. I thought she might be having trouble breathing. "Yeah." she said. "It's my second."
I couldn't believe Maggie had never told me she was pregnant before. My head spun. I thought I might pass out.
"Okay, how old were you when you conceived first?"
"Nineteen." she said.
I couldn't look at either of them. I turned to face the wall and pressed my forehead against the cool bricks. My hands were on the back of my neck.
"Okay," he said. Now he sounded like he believed her. "Now there's a small scar on your cervix here. Did you carry that pregnancy to full term?"
She was quiet for a long second. "No," she finally said. The word came out of her teeth, not her lips.
"Did you miscarry that pregnancy?" he asked.
She was silent and the room felt as if it might explode.
"No." She said. Her answer was short and bitter.
"Okay," he said. "It was terminated then?"
His words broke through my haze of confusion.
"Wait terminated?" I asked.
"Yes." she said.
"And that was a surgical abortion. Correct?"
"Abortion?" I shouted. "Maggie?"
"Glenn, please." she begged.
"Mr. Rhee, I have to hear this from Maggie." Dr. Peters said.
"Yeah." she said. "Correct. Yeah it was a surgical abortion."
And then I realized that's why Maggie had been so casual about suggesting this earlier. Expect that this time it was our baby. She had made everything disappear before. She wanted to do the same thing now.
"And how many weeks were you when you got that procedure?"
"Four." she said. "I was four weeks along." her breaths were short and quick. Her skin started to turn a strange color. "Are we done?"
I could tell Dr. Peters was sorry for what he'd made her reveal.
I wasn't.
"Yeah," he said. "Yeah Maggie we're done."
"Thank you." she pulled up her shorts and threw the blanket off of her before running out of the room.
So abortion... I know right? I didn't think she would've done something like that before the apocalypse either yet there she is.
Anyways, MAGGIE IS DEF PREGNANT so let's get this ball rolling...
EVERYONE REVIEW AND TELL ME WHAT THE NAME AND THE SEX OF THE BABY SHOULD BE! BOY? GIRL? KINGZINGTON? PEMEMBERLY? LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS!
P.s. those are real names I didn't just slam my keyboard.
Sorry if those are your names and I just made fun of them.
But also if they are your names, like, damn, I just feel sorry for you anyways.
Alright! Leave a review and make sure you come back and rewd next chapter!
We. All. Got. Jobs. To. Do.
~MaggieRhee
