Two, Dean: More than Words

I called her more times than I could count. That was when she took off. God, I regretted every word I said to her during that fight. Especially when I gave her the demand to pretty much leave. I replayed that so many times in my head, it was haunting me. Andi wasn't the type to just go. I knew she was restless most of the time when we weren't trying to heal from a hunt. I knew keeping her locked up in the bunker was going to backfire eventually. I just didn't think her cabin fever was that bad. All she wanted was a night out. Fresh air. And I didn't give her that. Instead, I tried to keep her cooped up despite knowing how she got when she was going crazy.

I knew it and I still let her leave. I still hurt her. I could see it in her eyes.

"Andi, please, answer your damn phone. Please. Let's talk about this."

Why was I arguing with a phone? She wasn't going to answer me any time tonight.

Better yet, how many times had she done this with me? Called all my phones to hear my voice, to try to convince me to come back? The guilt ate at me more. The first time she leaves and I freak out. The times I leave, she freaks for a second and knows I'd come back to her. But I didn't know if she would come back. She left her ex without looking back, and I knew she could do it again.

Jesus, I really didn't deserve Andi. I didn't deserve her being as faithful as she was to me. I didn't deserve the loving smiles or her kisses or her touches. I just plain didn't deserve her.

Jen made that abundantly clear when she got back to the bunker with Sam and Cas. It took both of them to keep the short, hot-tempered woman from kicking my ass.

Not that I didn't deserve it. Sam and Cas thought I wasn't deserving.

"WHAT THE FUCK WINCHESTER? I AM GOING TO BURN YOU ALIVE. WHERE DID SHE GO?" Jen yelled as she fought to get away from Sam and Cas to kick my ass.

I stepped back, finding Jen more intimidating than Ellen. "I-I don't know. I've been trying to find her. I-I can't. She's not answering her phone."

Jen stopped trying to pry Cas and Sam from her and stared at me. "She WHAT?"

"She's pissed. I get that, but she always answered my calls."

"Well, yeah, she answered you, you green-eyed idjit. She loved you. Haven't you learned that yet? Damn, you're thicker than I originally thought."

I frowned at Jen. She didn't need to put it quite like that. I already felt terribly stupid for letting Andi go and didn't need reminding.

"Why not now?"

Jen narrowed her eyes at me. "You must've hurt her real bad. I am going to kill you for making her cry again."

I forgot that she was ready to kill me if anything bad happened to Andi. I brought Andi into this Hunter's Life and Jen was willing to take me out of it and make sure I stayed dead.

Sam finally piped in. "Jen, Jen, maybe we should hear Dean out on what happened. Without your threats of killing him on the spot."

Jen glared at Sam. "You're trying to protect him."

"A little bit."

"Jen, Sam does have a point. Maybe hearing why Andi ran off would help."

Jen sighed, keeping her angered expression. "Fine," she said.

Before I knew it, we were around a table with a beer for the each of us and Jen was glaring more daggers at me. Man, if looks could kill, I'd be dead back when Andi's Mustang was cremated by a demon.

"Talk, idjit, before I let Crowley make you into hellhound chow…again."

I winced at the word 'again'. I still remembered the night I went vividly. I still remembered HELL vividly. I remembered Andi's tears when it was close to midnight. I remembered her embrace because we both thought I was gone for good. I remembered her screams. Those ill-fated, piercing screams that Allistar would replay over and over during the times I was tortured. I never wanted to go through that again, and here Jen was, wanting to make sure it happened.

I sighed, running my fingers through my hair a couple times, trying to get things in order before I spoke. "I guess Andi was jealous you guys went on a hunt. You know how she gets when she's stuck in one place too long. She gets restless and wants something different. Fresh air. I don't know. Anyway, she and I started arguing…"

Sam snorted a small laugh. "No surprise there."

I gave him a look telling him to can it. "Andi wanted to go to a bar for a drink or something. She just wanted a small change of scenery, and I wouldn't let her. During the argument, I told her that if she didn't like things, she could leave." I paused, flinching a little at how I said it to her. "She was going to and said she would. Then I told her 'don't let the door hit you on the way out'. I was so damn mad that she wasn't as worried as I was. That she wanted a change of scenery, I guess. I didn't want to hurt her. I didn't want her to leave. I tried to stop her, Jen. I really did. But she was done. She left with a few things. I called her so many times before I called you guys, but she's not picking up. I worry about her, she doesn't do hunts on her own. She never hunted on her own. Jen, you told me that she never went with you on a hunt and stayed at Bobby's. I don't know where she's gone."

The other three stared at me for a while. They didn't say anything for nearly the same amount of time.

"Guys?"

It was Jen who finally spoke up. "That's it, I am going to kill you within an inch of your life. You fucking knew better than to say something like that! You're no better than the nosy, controlling fucker she left all those years ago for you!"

I nodded, knowing it was probably true.

"I am calling her. She'd have to pick up for me."

"Or think it's me calling from your phone, Jen. I taught her all the tricks."

"You're an assbutt," she tossed back.

Cas gave Jen a confused look. "Isn't that…?"

Sam, who was close to laughing hard by this point in memory of that, nodded. "Yeah, that is." He clapped Cas's back.

Jen took out her phone and started calling Andi. She bowed her head and sighed when she obviously got Andi's voicemail. "You little bitch. I am not Dean. You know I wouldn't let him NEAR my phone. Call me. I want to talk to you."

Two days. I hadn't slept since Andi left the bunker nor had eaten much of anything. I couldn't sleep because Andi was supposed to be next to me in bed. I tried to sleep on the couch but memories haunted me everywhere I tried to rest. Memories of Andi's smiling face and her voice. It was driving me insane. I tried drinking myself into a sleep, but that didn't work. I knew Andi would be pissed at me thinking it would work. I remembered what she said alcohol did to her when she was drinking back during the times I came back. She said whiskey was never strong enough to numb her or knock her out. Frowning, I swore off whiskey until I found her. My appetite decreased enough to alarm even Jen. Burgers looked horrid and pie looked unappetizing. Nothing Sam said or did would get me to eat anything. Cas tried as well, but yielding the same results as Sam. Jen didn't give a shit; finding herself more worried about finding Andi than what I was doing.

Jen sighed as she walked into toward the large table we used as an everything table. She tossed her phone on it and sat in a chair. "That's it, I will kill her when I see her again."

Sam looked to her, saying softly, "You don't mean it."

Jen nodded. "Yeah, I do. She's making me worry. Andi has NEVER made me worry."

"What about after Dean went to hell?"

Jen looked to Sam, looking about as tired as the rest of us. "Don't remind me. We all were worried about her. The days she locked herself in their room were enough to make anyone worry. I was just glad she decided to help Bobby around the house."

Sam smiled in remembrance. "The place never looked cleaner."

Jen smiled. "I remember when the idjit got back. She was so happy, despite the nightmares."

I frowned. I hated those nightmares as much as Andi did. She had them for six months after I got back. She wouldn't tell me how long she had them after I went to hell. She just refused to tell me, saying it was in the past.

"I don't understand," Cas started, tilting his head as he did when he was confused. "Why don't we summon Crowley. He must know since he keeps tabs on all of us."

I stared at Cas for a second. "We can try. Someone go get up a Devil's Trap. We need to talk to Crowley."

Jen stood up, looking about ready to clasp her hands around my throat. "You aren't allowed to bark orders. If it wasn't for you, we wouldn't be worrying about what mess Andi got herself into!"

"Jen, that's not…"

"No, Sam, she is right. It is Dean's fault."

I blinked at Cas. "Thanks for sticking up for me, buddy, means a lot," I said dryly.

Before too long, we had the Devil's trap on the ceiling and the summoning ring on the floor. Cas pulled a disappearing act as I performed the ritual, hoping for the best and that the bastard was going to come. We needed answers, and when we didn't have them, Crowley sure as hell did.

It took a moment before Crowley showed. He stood where he was summoned and smiled a little. "Moose, Castiel, Jen, and…lookie here, we have a Squirrel. How may I be of assistance?"

I rolled my eyes at Crowley's greeting. "Where's Andi, Crowley?"

Crowley looked to me with an amused look. "Andi? You mean the Faithful One?"

"Yes, her," I said, completely fed up with Crowley's games and the names the douche bags in heaven and hell called Andi. "Where is she?"

"You're going to have to remind me," Crowley toyed.

I growled, feeling the urge to stab him where his heart was supposed to go.

That was when Jen stepped forward. Crowley liked Jen. They were, unsurprisingly, friends. "Crowley, do you know where Andi is? The idjit broke her, and she took off."

"Asking me that is like asking where my hellhound is." Crowley kept his eyes on Jen, not looking to anyone else as he paced around. He'd take a couple steps before turning around to take the same amount in the opposite direction. Watching him was nearly driving me mad. "If you must know, Juliet is a companion to Andi now. Andi needed someone reliable and Juliet was there. That was after the deal."

"What deal?" I snapped from his riddles and his fucking pacing.

Crowley looked to me, his dark eyes boring into me as he stopped pacing. "The deal we made after your little GIRLFRIEND summoned me. Well, she summoned a crossroads demon but I couldn't help but to take the demon's place. The only time a Winchester makes a deal is when the other is dead, but Andi is a different story. She was a little more desperate for something else."

I internally winced at his emphasis on girlfriend. I've always wanted to ask Andi to marry me. I wanted her to be mine, but this life holds no guarantees on anything including life. I didn't want to completely tie her down to me with the looming thought that one hunt might be my last. Regardless of my wants to make her my wife and to possibly have a family with her, I knew that this life never allowed that. No one makes it out and stays out.

"What do you mean something else?" Sam asked.

"Something as in, within the frequent amount of times that girl had cried over Squirrel, she finally snapped and wanted to stop hurting." The three of us gave him a look. Crowley went on, clearly more amused than before, "Her words, not mine. So, her and I made a deal. Let me tell you, being the one that made her finally unfaithful to Dean Winchester felt good against my lips."

I knew he was right. He wasn't lying, and that's what pissed me off. It pissed me off that it was my fault that Andi summoned Crowley. It pissed me off even more that Crowley knew what was going on. But what sent me stepping toward Crowley with my fist wound tight, ready to deck him was the fact that he teased me about Andi and I fighting, that he made a contracted deal with her, and he was currently waving it in my face. I almost nailed him in the face if it wasn't for Sam holding me back.

"What the HELL did you do to her, Crowley?" I yelled, ready to kill the King of Hell with all the strength and energy I had.

Crowley smirked. "I made it stop hurting."

"How?" Sam asked, clearly becoming the calmer one of us three.

"Our deal was that I get her soul for safe keeping. I mean, really, how often does anyone get a soul with so much pure, unconditional love and affection for one being? Andi wasn't called the Faithful One for nothing. In exchange for me getting her soul for safe keeping, I took away the pain she felt by being attached to something holding her back."

I wasn't going to lie, Crowley's words stung deep. Worry and guilt made my blood turn icy. What kind of deal did Andi agree to? "What do you mean 'took away the pain'?"

Jen glared to Crowley. "You killed her."

"Not really. She's alive and in her own meat suit, if that's what you're so worried about, Darling."

"But…?" Jen coerced on, trying to get to answers far quicker than I was.

Crowley shrugged. "So her eyes occasionally turn black now, she seemed pretty good with it when I left her at the crossroads with Juliet. In fact, Juliet and Andi haven't parted ways. Juliet knows how to come home to Daddy when she's all done with Andi."

"You mean to tell me, you turned my girl into a freaking demon?"

Crowley nodded. "Why, yes I am. It was a good choice. She is finally living a free life."

"That's no kind of life! You don't know what Andi wants!" I snapped.

"Neither do you, Squirrel. Remember, if it wasn't for you, Andi wouldn't be in California, screwing out the brains of every man she finds attractive."

My heart clenched. That wasn't my Andi. Andi wasn't like that. She wasn't a one-night stand kind of girl. She never was. She loved being in a relationship and was loyal until the end and then some. She would never just sleep with someone because she could do it. That's not my girl.

"Andi is in Cali?" Jen asked, clearly not as concerned that Andi was a fucking demon fucking every man she liked in sight. "Where?"

Crowley shrugged. "For you to find out, darling. I can't give away everything about Demon Andi."

Demon Andi. The thought both thrilled me and scared me. Andi wasn't going to be herself, but the thought of what she turned herself into thrilled me.