A/N: And now onto chapter 31, the end is nearing, i anticipate the final product being in the late 90,000 words to the early 100,000, just in case anyone was wondering. Constructive criticism is always allowed, yada, yada,yada.
Chapter 31
The door was barricaded with furniture and the others had holed up in the living room by the time I had calmed down. For the twenty minutes that I was having my internal fit, Damien and Kenneth decided to be productive, and Karen quietly consoled my by gently tracing circles in my back. Comforting as it was, I realised that if we messed up, Karen would probably die. We didn't know what they would do with me and her, probably kill, but we didn't seem important to whatever plan they had.
If they caught us and I somehow lived after Kenneth, Damien and maybe even Karen dying... I would not know how I would live. The thought that there was a chance of me being an only survivor made my mind go white with shock, as if I couldn't comprehend the concept. I guess if that would have happened, I would have lived In absolute shell shock and traumatisation, if we all weren't traumatised enough.
I would have guessed that it would have been Damien to calm me, but Karen's gentle, childish words were something of a sedative.
Whatever had happened in the twenty minutes of barricading, be it a self-made revelation or something from Kenneth, Damien was much calmer in his look, and he took charge when he saw me still sitting on the floor. He led me to the sofa, took hold of the revolver in case anything happened and instructed me to get some rest.
Knowing that I was probably safe, I complied.
Every nightmare I had ever had paled and shrieked in their own horror in comparison to what I saw that day.
In the realm of my own mind, I saw Damien, sitting atop a pillar of molten rock on a throne of lava and looking over a plane of fire and of the dead, red eyes now shining with a malicious glee. At his hands, he commanded legions of vile things, from crawling worms and bugs that festered and feasted on the burning bodies that lead below to black formless shadow like demons that swirled around him in worship, madly singing tunes that pierced the head like a nail, and burst eardrums like a roaring explosion. I was looking not at Damien, but at what Lucas thought Damien was. I was looking at the antichrist in my own head, and the antichrist had the form of my friend.
I was standing amongst the many corpses, and if it were real I would have held complete horror, but I was calm in my vivid dream.
Damien leaped from his throne, black wings burst from his back like a bird jumping to flight, and he gently lowered himself to my level.
He did not speak, only smiled; this imagination is not Damien, I had to remind myself, it is all just imagination, but it hurt when he brought his hand slowly to my forehead and I felt fire burn me alive. I was dreaming of hell, a real hell, where the world burned for eternity. A world that may have came to pass if Lucas were right, and if he succeeded.
I woke up screaming. It was short lived by Damien embracing me to stop my thrashing and Kenneth coming to my side to see what the matter was, but I still woke screaming.
I had been asleep for three hours, it was nearing mid-day yet I felt as if I had only slept for ten minutes and had been up for weeks.
In seconds I had gotten myself out of Damien's grip and was sitting on my own, in my reading chair, he didn't seem offended, I wished that he was.
"Well," Kenneth began, to try to ease the situation, "Seeing as you're awake, what the fuck are we going to do. Besides sit like lambs waiting to be sacrificed."
I shrugged but Damien spoke, "Couldn't we try to just run, get to North Park and get the police."
"No busses, none of us can drive a car and fuck if I'm thinking about trekking up and around that mountain, a bullet sounds much more pleasing than hypothermia. Ya hear of those stories, twenty hikers a year die up there." Kenneth smirked falsely, "And fuck if my life goes to being a statistic to some pricks in office." It was true, south park was an isolated town, there was hardly a gas station for ten miles when you went out of the towns borders, North park was scarcely fifty miles away. You cold only get there by driveing the roads or going the shorter path of walking around Mt South.
The problem was that if we braved the roads then chances were that Lucas would spot us if he were actively searching. It wouldn't have surprised me if he had someone watching the one road exit constantly.
Damien sighed, "Well shit. Phillip. I've got to say, I'm glad that we did that-"
I swiftly interrupted him with a fiery glare, "NOT FUCKING NOW," I screamed with fists clenched so hard that my knuckles were white like sheets and the skin under my nails were as red as blood.
Damien quickly recoiled in shock at my outburst, and quieted, Kenneth looked on oddly and Karen... just silent next to Kenneth, she was surely used to arguments. Although I didn't know if my fury was worse or lesser than her fathers and mothers arguments. I hoped lesser, but I could tell my anger was worse.
It was about half five, and I had not done much but be angry and fed up. Inside I had accepted that this night was probably going to be my last, so I left the others to think and stormed to my bedroom to sleep. We were going to die, headed straight to hell or wherever. Lucas would be furious that his son was no antichrist, and the world would go on without me and the others.
An hour passed and Damien entered without knocking, I noticed that even through my foul mood, he was sterner now. Much more like the Damien I remembered from, what seemed like, months ago. Whatever encouragement Kenneth had given him was working to some degree.
He closed the door gently, and the click of the latch closing echoed as if the room were made of solid steel.
He eyed me from the closed doorway, monotone and pity filed, with an underlying sadness in his overall form.
"It was nothing wasn't it? Last night." At my nod, he glanced away from me in disappointment. "Kenny told me what you did yesterday, fully, with Eric. I am sorry, I could tell you were weak and scared and I thought that you accepted me when you... well, accepted me. I led you on. Sort of. Sorry. After Dad... I've had my head in the god damned clouds, but, thank you. I'm sorry for being an asshole and thank you. If that means anything now." I nodded once more; he gave a small smile, "mind if I sit down in here? Kenny and his sister need space."
I felt a grin tug at my lips, Damien didn't seem to breke, he seemed more like himself. If I was to be getting back to my normal self was a different question.
With a brief gesture to the bed on my part, he placed himself down. Before either of us could let out a word, he brought the revolver from his pocket and laid it down on my lap. "Take it," he said, "Hell if I know how to use it."
I left it there, I didn't know if I wanted to touch another gun, although I knew that eventually I would have to.
"Isn't hell where we're going though?" I asked, although not to Damien, to myself.
He took me as to asking him, "If dad's right, yeah, but he isn't, we're still the kings of this world, remember, better than everyone else. Were smart, you're smart. You've dealt with bullshit before, you can deal with bullshit again. Sure, this is different bullshit but bullshit all the same, even if you're the only one who get's the fuck out of here, I know that you'll be fine. You're one of those people. Strange, dad thinks I'm some prince of darkness, yet I'd think that'd be you."
I felt my spirits raise enough to spare him an offended glance, "what's that supposed to mean?"
"That you're much more likable than I am. If I were some antichrist I'd need those features to manipulate people wouldn't I? worm my way into their lives and break them down for amusement alone. That's what I think an antichrist would do. I can't do that."
"So you're saying I'd make a good antichrist? Huh, at least I die on a high note."
"Shut up. You're not going to die," he said, forceful and convicted.
"No," I responded looking him dead in the eye with the stillness of prepared beast, "I'm going to die. Flat on my face, a bullet in my chest. I have it coming to me, I deserve it, you're going to be fine though, I'll make sure of it."
"You don't deserve it, why would you deserve it?"
"Because... Because I am bad, I am evil, I am a murderer. Damien I am a murderer! I'm going straight to hell, burning in the fires with demons cackling in my ears. You're going to be fine though, you're going to be fine."
He just looked disappointed, "I miss it when you were a massive wimp."
I laughed then, loud and hard and full of stress, with mutterings of "so do I."
