Herrmann looked as the light behind him went on again in the kitchen. He knew Cindy and the kids had returned from the service in the church. He knew he should have gone with them. They always went together and he and Cindy always agreed on how important it was to show the kids that Church could give them support and comfort in times of need.

But right now he was not feeling like it. He knew that Cindy was upset. But he wanted to make sense of it without having to hear how it was all part of a plan, or a test of faith, or that he had protected them. Cause why had it happened then in the first place.

The door behind him opened and he heard Cindy walking out and she sat down beside him on the steps.

''How was it.'' He finally said after a few seconds

''It was good, Orlovsky had prepared it well. I saw Cruz there. He said Otis is taking it easy at home.''

Herrmann nodded.

''Hey, I am sorry I got angry earlier, if you don't feel like going, it is fine.'' She said compassionate then.

''Thank you.'' Christopher said, kissing her and so happy he had his wife through all of this.

The next morning Gabby walked into Matt's room.

He was sitting on the edge of the bed, his legs hinging over the edge and he was already panting and she figured that sitting up caused him so much effort.

''How are you?'' She asked a bit worried, grabbing his arm, worried he was going to fall over. His chest was still a mess of dressing and wires, the vest he was wearing not covering it and she was not sure if he should even be sitting up.

''Decent.'' He smiled an dkissed her then.

''Doctor said I should be able to sit in that chair for a while today.'' He said and she helped him stand up and with lots of effort, he made few steps there, leaning on Gabby.

''This is already an achievement.'' She said as he sat down. She was still holding his arm as he sat down, slowly and with a lot of effort. She opened the vest a little, making sure all the stickers were still there to monitor him.

He huffed something, not really amazed by the 5 steps he had taken even though his heart rate was going up and he felt drained.

''Heart rate is already going up, see it was an achievement.'' She said then as she pulled a chair closer to she could sit by him.

''I know, it's draining.'' He said, almost panting.

The door to his room opened and Kelly came walking in.

''Hey man, glad to see you sitting.'' Kelly said then.

The door burst open again and a nurse held her head around the corner.

''Everything okay Mr. Casey? Your heart rate went up.''

''Yeah, just moved to the chair.'' He explained.

''Okay, take it easy and call me if you need anything.''

''Thank you.''

The door closed again and Kelly smirked.

'''That is better than hotel room service.'' Matt said softly. Kelly felt back cause he knew his friend was struggling, even talking seemed to too much.

''Saw the Blackhawks yesterday?'' Kelly asked then.

''Couldn't stay awake.'' Matt admitted.

Gabby left, but promised she as going to come back tonight, but wanted to give Matt some time alone with his friend and left after kissing him.

''I am going to get back in bed, sitting hurts.'' Matt said and Kelly got up, not sure if he should help his friend.

'Kelly - Can you help me please?'' Matt asked, barely able to speak out loud and his friend helped him get up. Matt barely seemed to have the power to get up and Kelly was worried as his friend was panting and seemed in a lot of pain.

''Oh, I really hope you start to feel better soon.'' Kelly said concerned.

''I don't want to pity myself...or feel bad for myself...wanted to prove to Gabby...I could do this.'' Matt said then, his hand on his chest as it hurt too much, ''I know Gabby is hurting too but she won't talk about it, she is just worried about me.''

''She kept you alive, holding your heart and the wound. She didn't care about her own safety, all she needed was for you to have fighting chance. She loves you so much and as long as you are okay, she seems to be okay. So the best thing you can do is try to get back on your feet for her.''

Matt nodded agreeing, thought Kelly was making sense.

That afternoon a lot of them had gathered at Molly's. Even though none of them were planning on getting wasted or even drinking, it was nice to meet up and the calm and trusted environment of Molly's seemed to be perfect for that.

Mouch and Cindy were bringing some coffee and drinks around. They all sat together at the big table they had moved to the middle, none of them knowing what to say.

The door opened then and Cruz held it open, Otis making his way slowly inside on crutches. He almost fell over Pouch as the boy came running his way, excited.

''Hey, are you alright?'' Brett asked concerned as he had almost fallen over his Pouch, walking his way and grabbing his arm.

''I am fine, I am fine.'' He said, worried it was going to get awkward again.

He sat down, Pouch laying down by the table as well. As the firehouse was closed for investigation, it was not possible to stay there for her so she was staying with Mouch and Trudy.

''Boden is going home tomorrow.'' Herrmann said. ''I spoke to him on the phone yesterday.''

''That is great news.'' Brett smiled and most of them were so happy to hear it. It meant only on was left in the hospital and hopefully Matt would recover soon as well.

''Has anybody heard anything of Jimmy at all the last few weeks?'' Brett asked a bit concerned then. For some reason, him being the youngest one it made them even more worried.

''No, I just know his brother is trying to keep a close eye on him.'' Mouch said, ''his brother came to pick him up at the hospital.''

They were silent for a while, none of them knowing what to say.

''Ready for the next shift?'' Otis broke the silence.

''I don't feel ready.'' Cruz admitted.

''Me neither.'' Capp said then.

''Guys, all we can do is go back to work and make the best of it.'' Kelly mumbled before taking a sip of the beer.

''What? You are not affected by this at all?'' Otis asked in disbelief.

''I mean, I am! But we need to move on guys!''

''Don't be insensitive, Kelly.'' Brett snarled.

''Well, I am sorry we can't all be as high and mighty as the great Kelly Severide that drinks a beer and is fine with everything then!'' Herrmann said a bit angry.

''You know what, screw you guys.'' Kelly said angry as he hit the bottle on the table, grabbing his jacket before walking out. Angry he slammed the door shut after him, walking around the block on his way home. It was not that he wanted to yell at them or insult them, but the least thing he wanted, was sulk over this.

Not because he wasn't affected at all, but because he had been in that deep hole before after Shay died, drinking and depressed.

And the last thing he wanted was end up in that bad place again.

Gabby returned to the hospital that evening, Matt poking at his food with his fork.

''You should eat that.'' She said as she walked in.

''I am not hungry.'' He said as he pushed it away, ''the pain is pretty bad. But better now you are here.''

She sat down by him and kissed him, still caressing his hand. He put on the TV and she smirked.

''Now we have to watch our show here together.''

''Sounds like a plan.'' He said and she sat closer to the bed, holding his hand and put her head against the side of the pillow so their heads were close. His breathing seemed shallow and she figured he was still in pain.

''Do you want me to call to the nurse to get you more pain medications?'' She asked concerned, almost reaching out to the call button.

''No. I am on maximum. My cardiologist came later today...said I can move to regular care if I can walk around without my heart playing up.''

''See, that is good, you made four steps today and your heart didn't go too crazy.''

''He expects I can go home in about two weeks, that is so long.'' Matt complained.

''Well, that means that we have to watch this show in the hospital for two more weeks.''

''You don't have to be here every night.'' He said as she was caressing his hand.

''Oh...you don't want me here?'' She asked concerned.

''No no no... that is not it. I just don't want you to put... everything on hold for me.'' He mumbled softly.

She looked puzzled at him and looked at both sides of his head.

''I see nothing that impairs your brain function so I don't know why you are thinking this crap.''

'''Gabby-''

''Matt, I love you and I could be sitting on the couch at home now to watch it but I prefer sitting here with the man I love.''

Finally a small smile appeared on his lips.

''Good, because I do love you here, but I was just concerned.'' He said, almost losing his breath again and she shushed him.

''I love you too.'' She said as she kissed him and laid her head close to him again. Even though she had come here to watch the daily sitcom they watched together at all the time, she saw a bit later Matt had dozed off again. She turned off the TV and moved as close to him as possible.

Laying so close to him, she could hear his heart beating and just hoped that it would be okay.

She just hoped.


NOTE: Another quick update for this story! I really hope you don't mind it, as the response wasn't so high this chapter I am worried I am updating too fast, sorry if I do! I really hope you did enjoy this chapter.

So thank you so much for reading again and please let me know what you thought about this chapter as I wasn't so sure of this chapter after last chapter.