5-2: Kirby Horde
"Poyo?"
15 Kirbies stared in wonder at their single opponent, currently retreating into his thoughts. His breathing had slowed and deepened, as it always did when he was preparing to face multiple fighters at once. Energy flowed freely into his system, and he pushed out the distractions and the mental toxins until it was just him and the Star Warriors and the whistling wind from Whispy Woods.
"Poyo?"
The fight against the first Kirby hadn't been easy. Bruises speckled his skin, and the Kirbies smell the sharp scent of blood. They puffed closer to him, forming a circle, enclosing him. Luigi could feel them beginning to close in. He could smell their essence, along with the essence of the fighter each Kirby copied. He trailed his tongue across his lips, eyes still closed, concentrating now on his belly moving in and out with his breaths. He still remembered what Kirby had been through, what he had been through. It was as if they were survivors of some psychological war. But since these Kirbies weren't about to go easy on him, he wasn't going to go easy on them. He knew and understood exactly what went through their minds as they stared at him with their big, adorable eyes. Because two years ago, faced with a high or a mid-tier, he had the exact same thoughts.
It would've been easy—oh, so easy—to use the tier argument with Koopa. The turtle was only one slot above Kirby in the G tier, yet he acted like he owned everything and everyone in this tournament! Luigi, now in the D tier, had been sorely tempted to wipe that smile off Koopa's face by playing that card. But how could he do what others did to him two years ago? Yeah, he was mid-tier, but he had to work and train hard to get to this point. He must never forget his humbled beginnings in Super Smash Brothers. The last thing he wanted to do was to stoop to their level. Besides, some of his friends and even his brother was ranked lower than him. What would they think if he started using that kind of attitude?
But he remembered the cries of his friends as claws and shell spines dug into his skin. He remembered Koopa dragging him to the replay room to watch the defeat again and again. He remembered those green eyes, the hot breath in his face and the words.
"Bet the Princess is crying a river over seeing this, isn't she? You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to make a videotape of this and send it to her castle so everyone can see it—everyone can find out for themselves what a loser you are. You thought you had me on the ropes with those stupid combos, didn't you? Well, guess what? I enjoyed putting a stop to your pretty little display and snatching the lead from you, and the only regret I feel is that the match wasn't timed so I could keep doing it again! And don't think I didn't see those crestfallen looks on your friends' faces—things of beauty, if you ask me! I would've loved to thrash them one-by-one, but I guess fate has a different plan, huh? Hey—remember the way I body-slammed you against the cold, hard ground? Felt so nice, I had to do it more than twice! If you remember anything, Greenie, remember this—you'll always be nothing, no matter what you do! GWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAA!"
Koopa was still talking and Luigi still stood there, refusing to break down and trying to figure out a way to shut that reptilian cake-hole. But then he heard another booming laugh—a laugh he knew quite well.
The laugh of the Gerudo King.
"Poyo?"
The Kirbies waited, exchanging worried looks, as Luigi tore himself free of the memory, his breathing jerky and erratic. His eyes opened, the puffballs starting at the strong emotions they found in them. Sweat stood out in sharp relief against his reddened, still-swollen face. The blood was beginning to dry. His white gloves were stretched taut; he was clenching his fists so tightly. A vein had floated to the surface of his neck. And then, it slowly began to float away—away—away, the embers in Luigi's eyes settling down, his body relaxing, the redness dying in his face and his fists unclenching. His face softened as he met the gazes of the Kirbies, feeling his breathing return to normal. It took him another minute for him to completely calm down.
A smile stretched on his face.
The Kirbies brightened. "Poyo!"
Then, they all got into their fighting stances, crowding close to the man in green. He, too, put up his dukes, watching their eyes harden, just like his eyes, and hearing their breathing fall into a measured pace, just like his.
"You guys ready?" asked Luigi.
Their voices dropped. "Poyo."
READY—GO!
The first of the Kirbies rushed for Luigi. He met them with fireballs, isolating a Kirby with a mop of blue hair on his head. After taking jabs and kicks from Luigi, he took a familiar-looking sword, pulled back, and turned a deep shade of blue before thrusting it forward. Luigi executed a perfect dodge, watching as the sword missed him by a fraction of an inch. He bent his elbow in that familiar way and lashed out with his Trowel Stab, but Marth Kirby ducked and kicked low, knocking Luigi onto his bottom. Nimbly, he swept his legs and got up, hitting Marth Kirby with a low kick of his own. Marth Kirby bounced into the air, enabling Luigi to juggle him using his up tilt and then launch into short hop f-airs, ending with a n-air and a d-air. Once again, Luigi poked his hand out at Marth Kirby, sending him toward the yellow blocks at the edge of the stage.
At that point, Luigi was set upon by two more Kirbies. One of them resembled Sword Kirby and the other wore a pink and white headdress with a gold Tri-Force pin on it. Link Kirby attacked first with a boomerang, and then Zelda Kirby met the stunned opponent with three forward spinning kicks and a Final Cutter. Link Kirby used Stone and dropped on Luigi from above, while Zelda Kirby attacked with the Hammer. Luigi put some distance between him and the Kirbies using his fireballs, thinking of a way to separate the two. As the two Kirbies puffed toward him, Luigi executed a Cyclone, knocking them in opposite directions, and then went for Link Kirby before he could reteam with Zelda Kirby, trapping him against Whispy Woods and the blocks and pounding him with tilts and the occasional forward or up smash. Finally, he knocked Link Kirby into the sky with a Super Jump Punch.
He whirled in time to see Marth Kirby's Shield Breaker stab into him. It hurt as much as the real deal. Quickly, Luigi popped Marth Kirby into the air with his down tilt and chain-grabbed him with his down throw before laying a combo of smashes and strong attacks and finishing with a Cyclone. Then, he saw a yellow block with a bomb symbol on it and threw a fireball toward it. Marth Kirby was caught in the explosion and KO'd.
Zelda Kirby blindsided Luigi with a dash attack. Luigi retaliated with his sissy fists, and as the remaining Kirbies floated around, the two had a rally going. By the time Zelda Kirby was subdued, Luigi ached all over, but he managed to escape Zelda Kirby's grab, defeating the puffball with a spike from his d-air.
Twelve Kirbies remained. For a while, Luigi kicked and Trowel Stabbed this Kirby and that Kirby, throwing fireballs until he could get one in his sights. And eventually, he found one, a Kirby with full body fur. He made himself focus as DK Kirby wound up and attacked with a Giant Punch, punctuating the move with a funny little noise. DK Kirby missed, and Luigi went in for the kill, grabbing, pummeling, slamming and constructing combos. But DK Kirby managed to escape and go on the offensive with some Kirby-sized Giant Punches, his forward spinning kicks, his b-air and his strong up. Luigi pulled himself together and threw DK Kirby away from him and then let fly with a misfired Missile, knocking DK Kirby off the stage.
The next Kirby to confront Luigi had yellow, pointy ears and sent bursts of electricity toward him. Pikachu Kirby resembled the electric mouse so much that he even said Pikachu's battle cry as he used Thunder Jolt. Luigi dodged and jumped over the electric pulses, slipping in long-ranged attacks, before one hit him square in the chest. As the man in green yelled out, Pika Kirby hit him three more times with Thunder Jolt, did a powerful split kick and then suplexed him into the blocks. Luigi scrambled away before an explosive block landed on him, grabbed Pika Kirby, swung him around thrice, and threw him into the explosive block. Pika Kirby wailed as he sailed off the stage.
"PK Flash!"
A Kirby wearing a baseball cap spoke those words as he sent a large pulse of light Luigi's way. The man in green took the attack and then took charge with several smash attacks, finishing with his roundhouse kick. Ness Kirby grabbed him, sprang into the air and then crashed back down with an explosion, sending Luigi reeling. He recovered, nailed Ness Kirby with a b-air and peppered him with jabs, karate chops and Cyclones. Ness Kirby lunged forward and kicked his opponent hard, doubling him over, and Vulcan Jabbed all over his face before down-throwing him repeatedly and forcing him off the stage with repeated f-airs. But Luigi managed to read him and DI'd to safety, karate-chopping Ness Kirby some more and then sending him plummeting with his d-air.
Nine Kirbies left. One Kirby wearing what appeared to be the top part of a Yoshi head and another Kirby wearing a red and gold visor rushed him, but Luigi was ready for him with his Cyclone. Yoshi Kirby trapped him in an egg, and he and Falcon Kirby battered him on both sides before Luigi got away. He briefly incapacitated Falcon Kirby and used Whispy Woods to body Yoshi Kirby. Once he was damaged enough, Luigi slammed a Super Jump Punch into the puffball and then turned back in time to dodge Falcon Kirby's—
"FAL-COON PAAANCH!"
Falcon Kirby's adorable pronunciation of that move brought on the "D'awwww!" and was almost as meme-worthy as the original. But there was no time to think about that now. Falcon Kirby was going at him as aggressively as the racer he copied. Luigi gave as good as he got, but the clash between them quickly became deadlocked. One moment, Luigi could have Falcon Kirby in a combo, and in the next, Falcon Kirby could be Falcon Punching Luigi into the next century. This deadlock was broken when a Kirby wearing a space helmet saw fit to jump in with a Charge Shot inexplicably fired without an Arm Cannon!
Samus Kirby's intrusion turned the tide in Falcon Kirby's favor, and the two wasted no time in double-teaming the plumber, sometimes having one hold him while the other unloaded. But one time while they were doing this, Luigi broke free and did a breakdance sweep, popping them both into the air. Luigi jumped and attacked them with a Cyclone, launching them further skyward, leading to a Star KO of the two Kirbies.
Six Kirbies to go. Luigi caught his breath and smiled at the three Kirbies floating forward. One Kirby wore a crown, the second wore a red cap, and the third wore a green cap.
Peach Kirby lashed out with Final Cutter once—twice—three times—until Luigi ended the onslaught with a fireball. He was then cornered by the Kirby Bros, who took turns using him as a punching bag and giving him a taste of his own medicine with their fireballs. Out of nowhere, Peach Kirby slammed Luigi against Whispy Woods with Hammer. With a forceful shout, Luigi Trowel Stabbed the three Kirbies, sending them scattering. Mario Kirby was the first to get up, throwing fireballs which bounced along the ground and weakened over time. Luigi evaded the fireballs, grabbed Mario Kirby and down threw him into a combo. Peach Kirby came to the rescue with a tiny Toad who blinded Luigi with spores. By the time his vision cleared, Luigi Kirby was also ready for more. They trapped Luigi into a tent of pain, using Final Cutter, Stone, Hammer, Vulcan Jabs, strong ups, strong downs, smashes, aerials and the copied neutral specials. They threw him into the ground or at one another, watching their teammate stomp him into the ground. But Luigi wasn't about to give up. He attacked Peach Kirby with a leg sweep and once again entrapped the trio in a Cyclone. But this time, he prevented them from re-grouping with his forward smash, first into Peach Kirby, then into Mario Kirby and finally into Luigi Kirby after a brief skirmish. Luigi Kirby was as tenacious as the plumber he copied!
Fifteen Kirbies had now dwindled to three. Two of them hung back while the third, wearing a doctor's tool on his forehead, went to meet Luigi. Dr. Kirby launched some Megavitamins his way, but none of them hit. Now that it was less crowded, Luigi had greater freedom with his combos, utilizing most of the stage. Dr. Kirby stood no chance against a determined man in green. He was KO'd without even landing a single blow on Luigi!
The last two Kirbies stepped forward. Luigi's heart slammed over and over against his chest as he drank them in. One of the Kirbies had curly, dark red hair and eyebrows, with a little gray near the edges. The other had tufts of red hair, horns and bushy, pronounced brows. He felt heat rising to his face and his throat knotting up. Although they were just Kirbies, it didn't stop the words and the laughter from echoing in his mind.
He had no idea how long Ganon had been in this room, watching the replay and laughing along with his best pal. But he could see him out of the corner of his eye, smirking as Koopa continued to rake him over the coals, chiming in with insults from time to time. He felt as if he was trapped in river rapids, heavy waves slamming into him everywhere. His lungs felt ready to explode any minute. His temples felt pounded by iron hammers. His soul felt violated, defiled. He wanted to scream at them. Get them. Hurt them—
"Poy!"
Ganon Kirby waved an appendage in front of Luigi's face, getting his attention. Luigi released a deep gasp as he returned to the present, drinking in the sympathetic look on Ganon Kirby's face.
"Poyo, poyo, poyo, poyo, poy," said Ganon Kirby.
"Poyo, po-poyo, poyoyo, poy, poyo, poyo," added Koopa Kirby.
Luigi nodded. They weren't the real deals. They were just Kirbies wearing a hat. That was all…
Ganon Kirby opened with a Warlock Punch, which Luigi easily sidestepped. He couldn't help himself—he was so inflamed that he went all out on the two Kirbies, ensnaring them in Cyclones, combo-ing them harshly, pelting them with fireballs and switching from mainly strong attacks to mainly Smash attacks. Both Kirbies rebounded with their f-airs and specials several times, but their advantages didn't last long. Ultimately, Luigi spiked Ganon Kirby off the stage using his d-air and chain-grabbed Koopa Kirby until his arms got tired, whereupon he finished the puffball with a Super Jump Punch.
Koopa Kirby let out a high-pitched yell as he was Star KO'd.
COMPLETE!
Ganon, Koopa—if you're watching this, then you got a preview of what's to come.
"L, stay focused," boomed Master Hand's voice. "You're not done with this stage yet."
"What to do m…?" Luigi started to ask.
He was cut off when he heard a deep boing sound behind him…
Hold on to your seats, everyone!
