8-1: F-Zero Grand Prix

"What?!" Luigi shrieked at Master Hand as he stood on a racetrack. "Are you serious?! You actually want me to…?!"

"Do I look like I'm smiling to you?" challenged Master Hand. "Look, with your ridiculous wavedashing, you'll clear this course in no time. And I'll make this easier on you by sending you a little warning signal when the racecars are approaching."

"I still can't believe you're leaving me at the mercy of those things!" snapped Luigi. "Do you know how fast they're going?! Do I look like I want to be hit by tons of metal going at supersonic speeds?!"

"If you want to quit and try this again at a later time…"

"No! I didn't say that!" shouted Luigi. "It's just—what made you think of something like this? Were you on shrooms or something?!"

"Luigi, I assure you, I was perfectly sane when planning all of the Adventure Mode stages," said MH. "Like I said, you don't have to continue with this if you don't want to."

"Well, I do," Luigi said sharply.

"No need to get upset, L. I didn't mean to offend you," said MH.

"I know. But I had to muddle through a lot of challenges to even get here. There's no way I'm turning back now."

MH nodded. "I like your style. Oh, and by the way, you get a head-start over the racecars. So, it's not all bad."

"Perfect." Luigi steadied his nerves and took his mark on the F-Zero racetrack. "There had better be a heaping amount of G with my name on it at the end of this whole shebang, that's all I'm saying."

READY—GO!

A hard rock version of "Big Blue" started playing over the sound system. Something about this rendition got to Luigi as he hit the racetrack at a full sprint. During this foot race, he noticed small platforms above him, reasoning that he could use them to avoid the F-Zero racecars. Sometimes, trophies waited on these platforms, which Luigi snagged without even dropping pace. Even with these circumstances, Luigi fancied a good run. Running got his mind off of things, as he was wholly focused on pumping his legs and saving precious energy and breath. Running sent aggression not released by sparring or matches tumbling out of his system. Running cleansed him as he pulled in lungfuls of air, stimulated his cardiovascular system and burned calories and fat. Various foods and drinks were placed out for him to use, and he'd simply pluck them out as he dashed past.

Just then, Luigi saw a flashing, yellow triangle with an exclamation mark on it and heard a series of low-pitched beeps. Thinking quickly, he hopped onto one of the platforms and watched as the racecars whizzed under him.

"This is crazy," he murmured as he jumped back down and continued streaking down the raceway. He had no idea how much farther it was till the finish line or how constantly he had to watch for those cars. But one things for sure—he didn't want to be run over!

Whenever his legs started aching, he followed MH's advice and honed his wavedashing skills. He seemed to glide across the racetrack as the timer ticked down. He could even see the finish line up ahead! The man in green smiled to himself. Wavedashing saved the day!

Or maybe not.

The warning symbol and sound flashed again. Luigi immediately skidded to a halt and jumped toward the nearest platform. What he didn't count on was the racecars traveling diagonally upward instead of straight.

"Whoa!" he exclaimed, dodging out of the way in the nick of time. He could feel and hear his heart doing over a hundred-fifty. Dio, were his legs shaking? "Master Hand—this is really crazy!"

"You can't even stomach an adventure all by yourself, can you?"

Luigi froze in his tracks.

"You probably wouldn't have gone in that mansion if it weren't for Mario being stuck in there!"

"No, that's not true!" argued Luigi.

"I think you just want to use these tournaments as an excuse to act big. How does MH even accept people like you? Oh, right—you're just looking for bodyguards so you won't wind up a bloody pulp somewhere! Too bad—they did nothing to help you today! GWAA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAA!"

"Get out of my head!" yelled Luigi.

"Sorry, Greenie, but it looks like you're too puny for this type of thing. So do us a favor and go home!"

"STOP IT!"

Koopa's sadistic laughter echoed in his brain. Along with someone else's. Ganondorf's. Racecars all but forgotten, Luigi focused his reignited fury on the finish line before him. Like a flying shot, the man in green rocketed across the tarmac, disregarding the trophies now, and blazed across the finish line before Master Hand even had time to sound the warning.

SUCCESS!

"What were you screaming about back there?" MH demanded.

Luigi looked at him with glistening eyes. "There was a voice inside my head, taunting me, telling me that I couldn't do it," he explained. "Guess I just proved it wrong."

"The good news is that the second part of this stage is relatively simpler," winked MH. "Just a gimmick-free Melee match."

"And I know who the opponent is," nodded Luigi.

More to come, folks.