9: Onett
Onett, in Eagleland County, was the birthplace of Ness, the PSI powerhouse and the final member of the Formidable Four. Ness's life was upended with the crash of a meteorite into his backyard. He, Jeff, Paula and Poo did battle with Gigyas to save the world, and the psychic child had been perfecting his PSI skills ever since. In the Smash tournaments, he fought with a Home Run Bat and a yo-yo as well as his psychic abilities. In Melee, PK Flash replaced PK Fire as his neutral special, the latter being moved to a side special, and he still had PK Thunder and PSI Magnet. Historically, Ness didn't really care how he was ranked. He just wished that those at the top would take their thumbs out of their butts.
Ness was proud to be one of the Formidable Four. It gave him a feeling of—distinction. And they always found ways to set themselves apart from the other eight originals. If the Great Eight took the bus, then the Formidable Four took bikes. If the Great Eight drove, then the Formidable Four walked or jogged. And if the Great Eight walked, then the Formidable Four Rollerbladed. Heck, they even had their own fight song!
We are a band of four
Willing our wings to soar
We're not some ragtag group, just wait and see.
With one big voice we'll sing
And let the Smash Realm ring
Ring with our strength and with our majesty!
We will burn, burn through the winter, the spring and the summer!
We will burn—the puffball, the racer, the child and the plumber!
We'll keep our spirits bright
All through the haunting night
'Cause rain or shine, all of us four will fight!
And on this fine day in Onett, not one, but three Nesses stood, waiting for Luigi. The plumber had made a remarkable first impression on the psychic child. He was shy at first, but Ness soon discovered his spirited, eager and outgoing side, the side which had been the embodiment of the Formidable Four. In his eyes, being a hidden character wasn't a bad thing, but a distinguishing quality, and that was why he suggested that they distinguish themselves from the other eight. Reuniting after two years only served to fuel that spirit, along with his buffs and differentiation from Mario. Ness looked forward to his battles against the man in green and never complained when he lost. Losing it was worth it to see what he could do! When Master Hand told him of today's event, that he along with two clones of him would face off against the plumber, Ness was so giddy that he hardly slept a wink last night. He was going to make Luigi's run through Adventure Mode the best one yet!
"L?" asked Ness as he caught up with Luigi. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," Luigi replied in a quiet voice. "I just need to…"
"I know," said Ness. "Take as much time as you need. Just know that you have me to talk to."
Luigi smiled. "Yeah. We're still the Formidable Four, aren't we?"
"You bet!" giggled Ness. "We're not afraid of that turtle! I'm gonna go talk to Jiggs and the Cap'n about this!"
"Thank you, Ness," said Luigi, "but I think I can handle that turtle."
Ness was true to his word. Over the next few days, he made sure Koopa knew that he was unhappy with his actions and showed him no mercy with his trusty Home Run Bat. He'd also had a long conversation with Jiggs and Falcon about it, and they joined in giving the turtle his just desserts in their own matches against him. But as they observed Luigi taking on opponent after opponent, they knew that Koopa's true just desserts would come from him!
Onett was a busy town, with vehicles aplenty cruising by. The three Nesses stood next to a drugstore, which sat between a couple of houses. Fighters could stand on the roofs of these houses, on the tree boughs nearby, or on the rope of colored flags above one house. But the awnings of the drugstore were weaker than they looked and couldn't withstand the Smashers' weight for long. And the street traffic certainly didn't do any good. It was never okay to play in the street, even if you were fighting in a tournament!
Currently playing on low over the loudspeakers was a short medley of Earthbound hits. First up was a few stanzas of "Bein' Friends". Then, things slowed down for a rendition of the Eight Melodies, finished off with the "Enemy Approaching" chime, and then repeated. The music would turn up once the battle began. Not quite Smash-worthy, but at least it matched the mood of the town.
"How are you three boys doing?" boomed Master Hand.
"Okay," said Ness.
"Okay," said the second Ness.
"Okay," said the third Ness.
"You have an interesting fight ahead of you," MH warned. "Luigi—something's coming over him. Every minute you spend in battle will only increase his determination and give him new strategies on how to defeat you. Just figure him out and try to have fun, okay?"
"Okay," the Nesses said in unison.
"Okay," piped up another voice.
The Nesses looked up. Standing on the awning of the drugstore was Luigi, smiling down at them.
"L, get down from there before that thing collapses!" gasped Ness.
"Relax. I know this place by heart. I visited it enough times." Luigi jumped down from the awning and onto the soft grass, eyeing the three boys.
"Bet you didn't expect three of me," said Ness.
"With Master Hand, I learned to expect anything," said Luigi.
The first Ness positioned himself in front of Luigi, raising his fists. The second Ness stood behind to the right, and the third stood behind to the left. Together, they'd formed a triangle around the green-clad plumber. They could force him to fight in the street and be at the mercy of unpredictable traffic, each car dealing 30 points of damage. If he jumped up onto the awnings, the Nesses could destroy them, knocking him back down. He'd try to stay on the tree boughs or the house roofs, but with a little patience, they could make him play the game by their rules.
READY—GO!
Immediately, the music cranked up. Luigi tensed, blue eyes scanning each Ness, reading them, figuring them out. With the right tools and the proper application of stage knowledge, he could beat them to the punch. Behind him, he felt the two Nesses closing in, Home Run Bats at the ready. Those bats didn't play when it came to Melee! The first Ness also had his bat raised, his face set like a Little League player. But Luigi had his face set, too, the muscles on the side of his neck working as he thought about what he needed to do.
The Nesses closed in on him until they could hear his breaths and see the topography of rolling veins and muscles on his neck. Each one mapped out the trajectory of his swing so that the overall knockback angle would be towards the street. They would strike one after the other to make Luigi fly into one Ness and then the other and then the other and finally into the path of an oncoming car. A direct hit at the junction where shoulder met neck would work. Hips, backside or ribcage would be good targets, too. And shoulder blades—especially shoulder blades, flexing and standing out sharply as Luigi held his stance, searching the faces of his three foes, continuing to breathe steadily, cool and calm. There was a glowing ball of energy deep inside his chest and moving down to his belly. There was lightning forking down his limbs. And in the background, there were the two voices, faint yet venomous. The reason why he was standing here today.
He stared solemnly at Ness. "Okay."
Ness nodded. "Okay."
And the other two Nesses said, "Okay."
Before they could batter up, multiple punches collided with them as Luigi sucked them all into his Cyclone move. He then noticed the Mr. Saturns falling from the sky and wandering around, snatched one up and threw it at the first Ness he saw. One Ness knocked him off his feet with a walk the dog yo-yo, but Luigi prevented a follow-up with a kick attack. He leaped clear of a bat swing and lit into Ness with body blows before delivering a Trowel Stab directly to the center of his chest.
A second Ness distracted him then with PK Fire. Luigi spun around and engaged him with karate chops as this Ness continued sending out more PSI attacks, punches and kicks. He then grabbed Ness and started a chain-throw and chain-grab combo, still delicately piecing combinations of his best attacks together to yield the best results. Ness would always mess him up with PK Flash (also known as PK Pulse) before going on the offensive with his trusty Home Run Bat and the occasional Mr. Saturn. The third Ness joined the party with his yo-yo, executing an around the world trick which blackened one of Luigi's eyes. Luigi punished him with a misfire, which knocked the third Ness into the recovering first Ness. The second Ness brought his bat up to his shoulder and then sent a cold, precise swing straight into Luigi's nose.
Luigi went limp from the pain. That was when the first and third Nesses got out their bats and practically jumped on him, whacking him on the first places they saw. During this beating, the second Ness used PK Thunder on himself, making him into a human missile with its target locked on Luigi. Unfortunately, Luigi saw this, hit the two Nesses attacking him in their kneecaps with his forward smash and then kicked them into the path of their teammate. They went flying and then crashed onto the paved street. A car raced toward them, but the trio cartwheeled out of the way. Luigi also hopped out of the street and onto a tree bough.
"PK Thunder!"
At once, the three Nesses looped their thunder attack at Luigi, sending him tumbling out of the tree like a wounded bird. One of the Nesses rushed over to meet him and threw a roundhouse kick. The other two chose to pummel him with their aerial attacks, trying to force him into a Wall of Pain with their f-airs. Finally, they let him drop to the floor, where they pelted him with a litany of yo-yo attacks and resumed using him as a piñata.
Luigi swiftly knocked the three boys down with his breakdance attack. He picked one Ness at random, locked onto him with fireballs and then chained his overhand punch into itself before poking his hand into the psychic, knocking him right into an oncoming car. Ness toppled into the blast line with a childish "Ouch!"
With one Ness down, Luigi focused back on the other two. Keeping them separated with fireballs, he began to fiercely light into them, spurred by the blood gushing from his nose and the bat strikes all over his body. He took risks and played in the street, hoping to draw his opponents into the traffic, cartwheeling clear of the cars whizzing down the road. The walls of a few buildings served as templates for infinite combos, but the Nesses had high, psychokinetic jumps and easily DI'd away. No matter, Luigi still had his throws. Over and over, the two kids tried to do a team combo on him, but he'd break free with a Cyclone or grab and throw one Ness away from him. In addition to his strategies with singles, he'd developed strategies for surviving the heat of multi-man frays. Such strategies involved fireballs, heavy baiting, sneak attacks and convincing the other opponents that he was hiding, cowering, shying away. They'd laugh at him, call him nasty names and start toward him, an easy KO in their minds. Then—when they were right in his sights—he'd let them have it.
The Nesses weren't like those opponents, thank God. They just fought aggressively. Their yo-yos and bats weren't just toys to them. Sometimes, Luigi would hide in plain sight, and when a Ness came looking for him, he'd walk right into a trap. Or, he'd wait for them on the awning of the drugstore, where they traded smash attacks until the awning began to weaken. As the drug store sign began to grow crooked and fall, Luigi would trick the Nesses into putting up a shield, and then throw Mr. Saturns at them, stunning them, as the awning collapsed. With his two foes on the floor, Luigi would jump down and start a combo with one or the other.
Again, Luigi had a Ness isolated and was going so hard at him that he was shocked at himself. This Ness fought pretty hard with the Home Run Bat, landing scores of blows on his torso, sides, face, collarbone and nose. They were balancing themselves on the roof of a house as they fought. Ness relentlessly seared Luigi with PSI energy while continuing to take rattling blows from the plumber. The boy's mouth was open as he took great gulping breaths; still, Luigi, breathing just as heavily, pushed him further and further. After Ness sent a sneakered foot into his opponent's mouth, Luigi quickly retaliated with a roundhouse kick, grabbed him and threw him into another car, knocking him out.
Luigi and the final Ness stood there, smiling at each other. The psychic invited the plumber to land the first strike, but Luigi saw through the charade. Ness dashed forward and attacked with his yo-yo, but Luigi dodged out of the way and performed a leg sweep, launching into an aerial combo soon after. By then, Ness was so heavily damaged that any move could reel him into the sky. But he managed to drop a PK Thunder and a PK Flash on him from above. Luigi jabbed and got in some heavier blows on the jaw before catching Ness on the neck with a forward smash. As the boy wheezed, Luigi darted in close and—
PIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG!
Ness screamed as the Super Jump Punch propelled him out of his hometown of Onett.
GAME!
"This was another single-level stage," MH told him. "This next stage will also be single-level. And you might want to bring a jacket."
"I'll take my chances, thank you," said Luigi as he rested from the battle.
I own the lyrics of the fight song, but the tune belongs to James Weldon Johnson.
More to come!
