"Please take a seat ma'am."

"I don't want to sit! And do I look like a ma'am to you? Don't answer that. That woman over there, you can call her ma'am –"

"Jane, please. He's just doing his job." Ma interrupted.

Although I hate it when people interrupt me, I'm glad she did. I was angry and hurt and I let the little things get to me. This man was only trying to do his job. He had done everything he could for Maura and I yelled at him.

"You're right. I'm sorry." I explained as I ran my fingers through my hair.

I took a seat at the pew. The doctor was right, I should probably sit for this.

"Please continue, doctor." I begged.

The doctor let out a long sigh. It was hardly reassuring. Ma took my hand and squeezed it. She loved Maura like she was her own, she was hurting too (and she didn't yell at the doctor).

"Maura lost a lot of blood –" the doctor began.

Oh god. I felt like I was gonna hurl.

"We had to perform an emergency C-section. The baby had a little trouble breathing at first and she had to be taken to the NICU."

"Is she okay?" Ma asked, her voice loaded with desperation.

"She's stable now. You can go and visit her if you'd like." The doctor gave a small, sad smile.

I was overwhelmed with relief. The baby was alive. I always knew she was a fighter, just like her mom.

Oh god, Maura.

"Did… Is… How's Maura doing? When can I see her?" I stuttered. I didn't know what questions to ask or if I wanted to know the answers.


Everything was a blur. One minute I was in the chapel and the next, I was sitting next to Maura. She was unconscious but alive. I spent the next four days at her bedside making her cups of tea. I don't know why I did it; I knew she couldn't drink them but I don't know, I guess I just hoped it would be an incentive for her to wake up. Maybe I should have been pouring glasses of wine instead.

"Janie, you should go home, get some rest and take a shower – "

"I'm not leaving her, ma. Not again."

"And there is nothing I can say or do to get you to change your mind?"

"No ma. Not this time."

"Okay but call me if you need anything. I mean it Jane."

"Thanks ma."

"I love you baby." Ma said as she kissed my forehead.

"I love you too, ma."

Once my mother had left, I reached for Maura's hand.

"I know what you're thinking. I can hear you saying 'go home Jane, I'll be fine.' And you said I was bossy! You're in a coma and still telling me what to do, and I'm bossy!"

I looked at Maura, looking for any kind of movement. Nothing.

"But seriously Maur, I'm not going anywhere. I'd rather have one bad day with you than a hundred good days with anyone else, because no one could compare to you. I need you Maura. Your daughter needs you. I hate the thought of you not being in my life and I hate the thought of you not being in her's."

One day, I was sitting in the chair beside Maura's bed. I was holding the baby and I just felt so sad. It should have been Maura holding her. She should know who her mother is.

I cleared my throat and began to tell a story, our story.

"So when you're a girl doing buy/bust, you've gotta be a hooker. It's okay though, it was just my cover. So, I don't have any ID, I don't have any money and I'm starving. I argue with Stanley – he owns the café – about having to pay two dollars for a day old donut and bad coffee. I probably shouldn't repeat what I said to him… All you need to know is that it wasn't very nice. Anyway, your mom walks right up to the counter, waving her money. I said to her 'do you mind? You can get your non-fat latte in a minute alright?' And do you know what she said? She said 'no, it's for you.' And a bunch of other stuff about vitamin D deficiency and night work and yogurt with leafy greens. I said some things... and implied that she was rude. I was so mean to her and she was, well, just being your mom. Anyway, I told her 'not every hooker has a heart of gold, alright sister?' Do you know what your mom did next? She looked at me and said -"

"Apparently not, sister."

"Exactly, I've never seen her so sassy! Wait... Maura? Oh my god you're awake!"