Thank you to MstgSzy for the suggestion for this chapter! It's been one hell of a weekend, sorry I didn't get this to you guys sooner.
Disclaimer: I only wish I owned Bones
Season 6 Episode 12- The Sin in the Sisterhood Recap- Booth and Brennan are called to a body in a cornfield. The victim proves to be a farmer who had three wives. They appeared happy at first, but the investigation turns up some hidden feelings, and some disguised animosities.
We watched Cam and Paul from across the room. He handed her a gift, she laughed, and they sat down.
"They make a nice couple don't they?" I asked
Booth smiled. "Yeah they do."
I turned from the pair and placed a hand on Booth's arm. "Should you call Hannah and ask her to join us? She enjoys drinking alcohol very much."
He leaned back, still watching Cam. "Nah, she's working late."
He glanced at me than attracted the attention of the bartender. "Hey, can I get the usual over here?"
Once the man signaled that he got Booth's order, he turned back towards me. "So, this case proves that two's company."
I sighed grudgingly then smiled. "You were right. The Samuel wives only appeared to be happy with their arrangement."
"Right, the one guy who was happy, ended up dead."
"Do you think Ed Samuel loved all of his wives equally?" I asked, genuinely curious.
Booth responded without hesitation. "No. He loved the first one the most."
I furrowed my brow. "How do you know?"
"The schedule." He said, meeting my gaze.
"But, each week each wife was assigned two nights a piece. And he spent Sunday night alone."
"Well he was supposed to spend Sunday alone."
I nodded at the realization. "He didn't?"
"He went back to the first one."
I smiled. "Wha- he did?"
"Every Sunday. That's what they said."
I had understood at first, but now I wasn't sure. "What does that mean?"
He inhaled deeply. "Well it means Bones that you can love a lot of people in this world, but there's only one person that you love the most."
He stared at me intently. My stomach grew warm with nervousness. "Well how do know which person you love the most when you're confused by chemical messages traveling throughout your limbic system?"
My heart rate increased, I truly did believe that love was caused by chemical messages, but I also knew who it was whom I loved the most. I just refused to let myself acknowledge that attraction.
Booth met my gaze, his face so intense I couldn't tear my eyes away. "You just do."
I made eye contact with him. Even as my face grew slightly flushed, my pulse accelerated, and my stomach fluttered, I met his gaze. I couldn't tell if he knew. Could he know? He was better at reading people, and myself especially, than anyone I had ever met. He could tell me my deepest fears, things I wouldn't even let myself realize. So it wasn't illogical to think that he could know that I still loved him, that he was the one who caused the rush of dopamine through my limbic system. Finally, I looked away. I watched Paul lean over to give Cam a kiss, and her pull his face in. They kissed gingerly, but passionately.
I wondered if I would ever feel that way about a person. If I could ever have a relationship with someone who so acutely affected my brain. I turned back to Booth. "What if you let that person get away?" My voice was soft and worried. I regretted the question as soon as I said it. If he hadn't known already, he sure as hell did now. But I leveled my gaze, waiting for his answer.
He shook his head, then lifted his eyes to mine with a smile. "That person's not going anywhere."
My face was expressionless, I stared into his chocolate eyes without visible emotion. But my mind was far from blank. I had let him get away. He had offered himself to me, and I had denied him. Why? Because I was afraid to let myself go. I was afraid to allow my happiness to be so dependent on another person. I wasn't ready to open myself so fully to another person. Every time I did, I was hurt. I hadn't been ready, so I denied him. But I still had feelings for him. Could he know? Could he realize how much I regretted letting him escape from my hands? I could have had everything, had him, and I destroyed my one chance. I let that one person get away.
But I pushed these thoughts away, I refused to let my mistakes take over me. I had given up my chance, and he had found someone else. I was not the one he loved anymore. And that was something I had to live with. I could compartmentalize. I always had before.
"We are a good team, all of us." I smiled, and raised my glass. He clinked his against mine with a grin. "The best."
He smiled at me, and for a moment I didn't smile back. That smile pained me every time I saw it. For years I had felt that pain. How long had he known I loved him before that night in front of the Hoover? I had had feelings for him since our first case. And later in our partnership, before even the conclusion of the first year, I realized I loved him. I denied it to him, to Sweets, to Angela, to myself. But it was true. I had loved him for years. I told him once that I was jealous that he believed that love was transient and eternal and that I wished I believed that too. He told me that I would in time. But I didn't believe it then and I still didn't. Things never worked out in my life. I was just one of those people. One of those people who just didn't get love, didn't get a life with another person. I was one of those people who simply didn't get to be in a family.
I lifted my head, and I returned his warm smile.
Okay, I have to be honest. I don't know if I will continue writing this. Life is really crazy with work and school and everything. But I'll continue if people are truly enjoying the stories. I love writing, the problem is justifying the time it takes. Review, let me know.
~AlphaGirl13
