Chapter Eighteen
When Tami's tears were spent, she took a hot shower and changed into her light pajamas. For the first time in a month, she called her mother. Her mother had never been the nurturing type, but Tami felt suddenly like a child and didn't know where else to turn.
Antonio answered. Tami always felt awkward talking to the new husband. (No matter how long they were married, Antonio would always be "the new husband" to Tami.) He was pleasant enough, but she just wanted the formal exchange to be over. At last, her mother came on the line.
"How's Shelley?" Tami asked, not quite ready to broach the real subject.
"Well, you know, she's been working on that associate's degree in early childhood education. She should be done by January. We gave her a little apartment down in the basement, so she can have some privacy."
After some further conversation, Tami finally told her about the surprise pregnancy and Eric's reaction.
"Listen, Tami, when Eric asked for your hand in marriage, I thought you were both too young. But I also thanked God that he'd brought you someone decent. Someone with a sense of honor. Eric will come around. He will. I promise you that. He's just scared. And if he went for a walk, it was probably so he could get his head on his shoulders and be steady for you."
"I hope so."
"I know so. And if his health insurance has a waiting period, Antonio and I can help with the hospital bills."
"I don't want to take your husband's money."
"Why don't you like Antonio?"
"I don't dislike him. I just don't know him."
"You're unhappy I got remarried."
"No, Mom…I'm not. Really. It's just…weird. It's like…I grew up with you, and now we have completely different lives."
"That's time, sweetheart."
[*]
Tami was sitting cross-legged on the bed when the door opened. Eric had a plastic shopping bag in his hands. She clicked off the television.
He sat down on the edge of the bed in front of her, reached into the bag, and handed her the object inside: a copy of Dr. Spock's Baby and Childcare for the Nineties. "The lady at the bookstore recommended it."
Tami laugh-cried and scooted closer.
He put a hand tentatively on her cheek and looked her in the eyes. "I'm really sorry I was such an ass about it. I just wasn't expecting that. Maybe you could have told me somewhere else, someway else? You gotta admit…your timing was odd."
"I was debating when and how to tell you, but you kept pushing about the one-bedroom."
He stroked her cheek with his thumb. "It's just…it's like I have all these plans. I try to set goals and timelines and be responsible. And things just happen. I broke my leg. I couldn't get a job in Houston. I got you pregnant at the wrong time."
"Well, when you coach, you don't just draw up one play, right? You make the calls on the spot when you need to. You have an entire play book."
He nodded. "You're right. I just don't know anything about being a dad. I thought I'd be five or six years older. Established. More mature."
"I don't know anything about being a mom either."
He searched her eyes. "I guess we'll figure it out together." He kissed her. "I'm really sorry for the way I reacted."
She didn't say it was okay, but she said, "I forgive you. And I'm scared too."
[FNL]
Tami couldn't get a job in the San Antonio schools, but she did finally get an offer from a Women's Center. Over sixty percent of her pay would be eaten up in child care expenses, commuting, work clothes, and taxes. She hardly saw the point. She was so tired lately, and she couldn't imagine how exhausted she would be when the baby was born. She didn't like the idea of leaving her infant with strangers, either.
She decided to broach the subject of becoming a stay-at-home mom. She wasn't sure how Eric would react. He was accustomed to her contributing income – she'd been the primary breadwinner for those last three years he was in college in Houston, after all. On top of that, he was frequently worried about money and bills and saving for the future.
That evening, when Eric came home to their second-story, two-bedroom apartment, he walked the short, six steps from the front door and tossed his golden-brown Yellow Snakes cap on the L-shaped kitchen bar that surrounded the sink. The Yellow Snakes had the worst colors. She picked up his cap and set it next to the stove.
The kitchen opened onto a small breakfast nook, but they hadn't bought a table yet. She began to set the bar with plates. "I thought you'd be home earlier." Practice was in the early morning before school, because temperatures still exceeded 90 in the afternoon.
"Babe, I've only got one planning period during school. I'll be working late all football season."
"Well, dinner's ready."
They sat side by side on two bar stools and ate. She told him about the job offer and about her preference for staying home. "Just until the baby is in kindergarten," she said. "Then I'll go back to work. What do you think?" She awaited his response nervously.
"Well…bills are gettin' paid. The house fund isn't growing, but bills are gettin' paid. I might be able take on some private coaching. Some of these well-to-do parents, they get private coaches to work their kids out during the off season. My father never did that, but he worked me out himself, every morning before he went to mass."
"Your dad really spent a lot of time with you. Even before my dad was a drunk, I don't remember him playing much with us."
"Well, he wasn't playing with me," Eric said. "He was riding me. Hard."
Tami set her ice tea glass down. "He was always there. You don't know what it's like to grow up without a father around. Don't take yours so much for granted. A kid needs a father." She put a hand over her belly.
"I'll be there for this little one," he promised her. "I'm going to spend time with him, but I'm not going to ride him nearly as hard as my dad rode me."
"You really don't mind me staying at home?" she asked.
"A man takes care of his family." He looked nervous, even though he'd put on an air of bravado. He leaned in and kissed her. "Besides…I like you having more time for me."
She smiled. "Well, you require a lot of time, don't you?"
"Mhmmm….And a lot of attention."
Between the kisses, dinner got cold.
