A/N: Thanks for the reviews and follows. Hope you like this, it took me a while to compose as there is more to come.

Always On My Mind (Elvis Presley)

Chicago, April 2014

David Austen had approached his meeting with Alicia Florrick with caution. She wasn't the old friend he knew inside out like Diane and she wasn't the intense and outwardly calm investigator he met in Kalinda. She was a different entity altogether: somebody who had once been close to Will and equally, somebody who had hurt him deeply. He was also aware that to her, he was a stranger and a stranger bringing a message from a former love from beyond the grave. Depending on the contents of the letters, he could be her hero in her hour of need or the devil in a wool suit.

He met her at the offices of Florrick/Agos. It was an interesting set-up he mused to himself as he rode up in a service elevator. It reminded him of working in a department store when he was a young man paying his way through Law School. As he pulled the grill open, he had paused to reflect on the life of the young man he loved as if he was his own son and wished so much that Will was the one carrying out his last wishes – at least it followed the natural order; regardless of circumstance, the old should not outlive the young. David was unaware of the role bad timing had played in Will's relationship with Alicia, but one thing was certain, at the end of his life, Will Gardner was certainly in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Alicia had accepted his words calmly and with little response. He thought she was perhaps in shock and had asked the young investigator, Robyn, to check on her as he left. Alicia had thanked him and then simply stared at the foolscap file he placed in front of her.

.

….

.

She closed the apartment door after watching the elevator doors close on Zach and Grace, who were going to stay with Peter for the evening. Turning towards her kitchen, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She had planned to begin reading Will's letters tonight. When David first gave them to her forty-eight hours ago, she had to stop herself from ripping them open and immediately devouring the words on each page. Concern over what was inside the letters prevented her from opening them earlier.

She decided to pour herself a glass of wine, as the alcohol would soothe her and hopefully calm her frazzled nerves. Taking a long-stemmed glass from a shelf, she placed it on the counter with a soft clatter. She quickly filled it with a fruity Tempranillo and took a long drink as she leant forward on the counter, staring out of the window into the city as the light faded. A deep breath, combined with the warming red flooding her system, gave her the courage to begin. She moved to her bedroom and closed the door.

Placing her glass on her nightstand, she took the file David had given her from the top drawer and sat cross-legged on her bed. She wondered if she should turn her cell phone off, but realised that she couldn't disconnect her landline lest her children (and others) get suspicious they couldn't contact her, especially given her recent behaviour.

A deep breath.

A sip of wine.

Alicia laid the letters out on the bed in front of her. David had said the most recent letter was the sealed one and the opened envelopes contained previous drafts, which had been replaced over time. Fortunately they were numbered, so she knew the order in which they had been written. She ran her fingers over the collection of missives and sighed. Will had spent the time to write to her and had maintained this over a number of years, even after she ripped his heart in two. She felt her eyes begin to tear at the thought of him trying to quantify his feelings towards her, both good and bad.

She picked up the sealed cream envelope and pressed it to her chest, her crossed palms holding it firmly to her heart. She knew this was his last message to her and wanted to treasure it. But, her earlier concerns far outweighed her desire to read it first. What if he had written it while he was incensed over her defection? However justified his reaction was, she didn't want to risk it being a negative message she first heard in Will's descriptive voice, so she decided to being with the oldest letter. She determined to read them in chronological order, regardless of the pain it caused her. Sniffing back a tear, she recalled the pain she inflicted on Will and therefore in a way, deserved any hate that came her way.

…..

Alicia pulled the first letter from its envelope and began to read. The first line brought tears to her eyes and regret to her heart. She had to stop several times to wipe her eyes to prevent her salty tears from smearing the letter.

...

Dear Alicia,

I love you.

I was prompted to write this after Jonas died. I hope you don't have to read it anytime soon, but just in case, as we don't know what is around the corner.

I love you. I have probably loved you ever since Georgetown, but have never had the opportunity or the guts to tell you to your face. I tried to tell you once, in a voicemail, but in retrospect that was probably not the most romantic gesture I could have shown you.

I wish I could go back to Criminal Law 101 and persuade you to go on a date with me. I think about that day a lot, especially since you came back into my life. I wish that I had had the chance to woo you, (in a non-matinee idol kind of a way!), to show you how much I cared for you and to show you that not all men are like your husband. I know my behaviour has not always been the best over the years, but I do think I am a better candidate for your love than Peter. You deserve more than him. I am not trying to diminish your love for him and his role as a parent, after all your children are your world and I respect that. I adore the unconditional love you have for them and the fact that they will always come first. The fact you gave up the law to raise them is testament to this. You are a terrific, gutsy lawyer so I am pleased you came back to the courtroom.

I am so grateful for meeting you at Georgetown, but I am so much more thankful for our chance encounter in an elevator in Midtown. I was so surprised and happy to have seen you. I was unsure whether you would call me. It had been a long time since we had spoken to each other and I wasn't sure if you still considered me a friend. I am so pleased that Wells & Bowen didn't work out and that you were able to join SLG. I am also pleased I was the G – maybe it impressed you as much as my cannonballs!

All my life you were at the back of my mind and seeing you reignited something in me – you made me a better person – I tried to impress you and by doing so made me consider my actions more carefully than I had been.

We kissed. I am not sorry for allowing my emotions to get the better of me over the Willoughby baby as it meant I could press my lips to yours and felt the raw passion I believe you also felt. I am sorry we didn't get to have our dinner. I am sorry again if we never got to have a proper dinner together, as friends, or maybe something else. I hope whatever happens to us, I will always be your friend. I don't want to lose you again.

Be happy Alicia and don't let too many objections interrupt your life.

Love, always,

Will x

...

Alicia's hand was shaking and the letter gently flapped in response to her movements. Reaching out, she took her wine in her left hand and took a large mouthful – the red liquid suddenly burning her throat and causing her to gasp. She spluttered a little and started at the page in front of her before folding it and replacing it gently in its envelope. Will was in her heart and her head. She didn't give herself time to digest the first letter before moving on to the second…

A/N: OK, so I decided David would give her all of the letters. This is the first one. It was written after Stern died, when Will was dating Tammy (before the Olympics) and before Will and Alicia got their good timing. Let me know what you think… there are some cute moments in future missives.