Author's Notes: I do not own Once Upon A Time which is a show on ABC where they have The Bachelor in its time slot. Anyway, thanks for the reads and reviews, I so appreciate them. I don't think I've gotten back to anyone yet and I am so sorry. It's been crazy. Please let me know what you think and happy reading!
Bernard was the eldest son of the Duke of Padua. After a long and happy life, the Duke was in ailing health and so it fell to Bernard to begin taking on some of the responsibilities for the duchy, not the least of which was the meeting he was about to take this morning.
"Try not to ramble on as you do," his father warned. "She doesn't like rambling."
"Yes, Father."
"Don't try to haggle with her. She abhors haggling."
"Then why do we even bother?," asked Bernard. "Why don't we just send a messenger with the gold?"
"You don't treat a weather witch like that!," the Duke hollered. "She must be treated with the respect due her station."
"Very well," Bernard sighed.
"Now, you must be off. Don't be late! She abhors lateness!"
Bernard rode his horse through Padua and followed the map to the witch's home. It was at the corner of four kingdoms that depended on her patronage and more modest than he would have guessed. Her father said he had been dealing with the same witch for his whole life and she had never aged a day.
He tied his horse to a tree and went to the door. He went to knock and it opened of its own accord.
"Okay..." He gingerly stepped inside. "Hello?"
"In here!," a female voice called.
Bernard tried to follow the sound of the voice and stepped into a parlor where a plate promptly went flying at his head. He ducked to avoid it, landing in a heap on the floor.
"Are you alright, sir?," a small voice asked.
Bernard looked up. A small boy and girl stood over him. Behind them was a woman in elegant dress, with extremely curly chestnut hair and not too bad looking if he was perfectly honest. Not bad looking at all.
"I'm fine, thank you," he said getting up.
"I am so sorry, your lordship," said the woman. "This is my niece and nephew- Cyril, Abigail, how do you greet the heir to the Duke of Padua?"
Cyril bowed and Abigail curtsied.
"Very good," said the woman. "Only on social occasions, though. Never show nobility too much respect in private. It ruins the whole balance of things."
"Sorry?," asked Bernard.
"I am prattling on, aren't I? I was just giving them their magic lesson for the afternoon and it seems I should have chosen something less breakable."
Bernard shrugged. "These things happen, I suppose."
"Do they?"
"I suppose."
"Children, you may play outside while I discuss business with his lordship."
The children scampered off.
"Business?
"You came to speak to me, did you not?"
"You're the weather witch?"
"I prefer weather sorceress. Amelia is my name. Shall we sit?"
She motioned at a table and the chairs came out. Amelia took one and Bernard cautiously followed suit.
"How has the gardening been in Padua this year?," asked Amelia. She motioned and a book floated off the shelf and opened before her. She picked up a quill. "Your father worried about the roses last year."
"The gardening is good, I suppose..."
"The crops? You've been growing wheat?"
"Yes."
Amelia put her quill down. "You're new so let me walk you through it. We arrange a series of days: wet days, warm days, cold days-"
"Snow days?"
"I don't do snow. You want the Ice Princess."
"Oh, right," said Bernard.
"We arrange days for optimal growth of your crops and we arrange for a few wildcard days."
"Wildcard days?"
"A small flood here and there keeps the fairies none the wiser. No one is hurt, though, usually I just wash away someone's cart or boat and you give them a small amount of gold to buy a new one."
"Why are the fairies kept in the dark?"
"Treacherous creatures," said Amelia. "Don't you know that? Merlin said he knew you."
"You know Merlin?," asked Bernard. "Did you meet at some sort of guild meeting?"
Amelia ignored him. "Anyway, the Blue Fairy is in pursuit of a magical girl."
"A magical girl?"
"Yes. She thinks it has something to do with my line so the less I see her the better."
"Does it have something to do with your line?"
"I wouldn't know. It's in the future."
"Can't you see the future?"
"No, I can refer you to the Good Seer Octavia. There used to be another one, she had eyes in her hands."
"Eyes in her hands?"
"Yes, things did not end well for her."
"No?"
"Never mind that. Shall we discuss what wet days you would like?"
Henry chatted excitedly the whole way home while Belle's mind raced. She entered the house in a haze.
"We're here," Henry excitedly announced.
"In here!," Beatrice called back.
Belle followed Henry in the kitchen to find Gold cooking while Beatrice sat at the counter.
"What are you doing?," asked Belle.
"Cooking for the dinner you insisted we have," Gold said pointedly.
"That's tonight?," asked Belle.
"Uh, yeah..." said Beatrice.
"That's why I came over here with you?," Henry added.
"Right," said Belle.
Gold frowned. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," Belle smiled. "Can I help?"
"Beatrice has set the table. The lamb is in the oven. I'm just working on dessert."
"Right," said Belle.
"And you're sure you're alright?," asked Gold.
"Fine," said Belle.
"Beatrice, why don't you take Henry in the other room?," said Gold.
"Every time I get sent in a different room I end up with a new magical power," Beatrice complained.
"Now, please."
Beatrice and Henry left. Gold turned to Belle.
"What is it?"
"Does Merlin have family?"
"What?"
"Henry had this story and-"
They heard a car and Belle stopped. Henry ran in.
"He's here!"
Beatrice followed. "Yea, I bet this dinner won't be awkward at all," she said. She glanced up at her parents' furtive looks. "As usual, we're off to a great start."
The door opened and Neal rushed in.
"Where's Tamara?," asked Belle.
"Yeah, I had to beat her in," said Neal. "She had car trouble and I haven't had time to explain the fairy tale thing."
"Oh, come on," said Beatrice.
"What?," asked Belle.
"You don't have to do anything," said Neal. "You just have to not mention fairy tale stuff."
"Right, yeah, let's practice that. Hi, Tamara, these are my parents Belle and Rumplestiltskin," said Beatrice.
"Okay, you shouldn't introduce people," said Neal.
"It's not my fault this is going to be a disaster," said Beatrice.
"Come on, Beatrice," Neal moaned.
Beatrice looked at Gold. "Back me up here."
"Hello?"
"That's her," said Neal. He walked into the other room.
"For what it's worth, Beatrice, I think you're correct," said Gold.
"Well, we'll just have to keep it together for one evening," said Belle.
Beatrice eyed her. "Are you okay?"
Belle sighed. "Can I have a hug?"
Beatrice rolled her eyes and put her arms around her mother.
"Thank you," said Belle, releasing her.
Neal led a woman in. "Okay, this is my family. My son, Henry and my little sister, Beatrice. My dad and uh, Belle."
Tamara smiled and started shaking hands. "Mr. Cassidy."
"Mr. Gold," he said without thinking.
"Oh." Tamara shot a quizzical look at Neal.
"Call him Rum," said Belle. She motioned at the next room. "Come on in."
Bernard tried to listen. He really did, but it was tedious remembering what days Padua needed good weather for the spring fete, the Summer Equinox Lady, the harvest festival and the Winter Equinox Lady.
Then came the price tag.
"How many pieces of gold?"
"It's a standard agreement."
"Yes, but that much?"
"Yes, I suppose it is a great deal unless your people need to eat."
He sighed. "Isn't there some way to knock it down a bit?"
Amelia smiled in amusement. "Well, I've never known a noble who cared to haggle."
"Does it have to be gold?"
She stiffened. "If the form of payment is the problem, why don't you go talk to the Dark One?"
"Does he do weather?"
"Yes, I believe I does. You weren't planning on keeping your first born child, were you?"
"Right... what if I were to pay you by season?"
"By the season?"
"Payment system, you know? We start with summer and see how that goes, then come back."
"You only want to pay me for the summer?," asked Amelia.
"Is that a problem?"
"No, of course not," Amelia said through pursed lips. "If that's how you want to do business, who am I to stop you?"
Dinner was going as well as could be expected when four-fifths of the room had to censor their conversation. Gold had moved to silence. Belle was distracted and Beatrice, well, she really didn't care to chat up her brother's fiancee.
It mostly was on Henry.
"So, how did you two meet?," Henry asked brightly looking at Neal and Tamara.
There was a knock at the door.
"Expecting someone?," asked Tamara.
"We never expect anyone," said Beatrice.
"What?"
Tamara looked at her curiously.
"I'll get it," said Beatrice.
She got up, went to the front door and opened the door, where she found a princess in a ball gown.
"Beatrice!"
"Aurora?"
"I found you."
"Um... come in..." said Beatrice.
Aurora came in and looked around. "Is this your castle? It's cozy."
"So, have you been in Storybrooke?"
"No, I just got here."
"You just got here?"
"Yes, I stowed away on a pirate's ship."
"On a what?"
"Yes, it was him and some man missing a foot. They're here to kill the Dark One."
"Hold on," said Beatrice.
She walked into the dining room.
"Everything alright, sweetheart?," asked Gold.
Beatrice leaned down by Gold. "Do you happen to remember my friend, Aurora?"
"I can't say that I do."
"You know, Aurora," she said. She began to hum "Once Upon A Dream."
"I don't know what that is," said Gold.
"That's the theme from Sleeping Beauty," said Tamara. "Right?"
Gold sighed. "Excuse me."
Gold got up and followed Beatrice back into the entry hall.
"So, Aurora, this is my dad," said Beatrice.
"You found him," Aurora said in astonishment.
"Could you go back to the part about the pirate and the one-footed guy?"
"Hook?," asked Gold. "Hook and Gaston?"
"Yes, they're on some quest to kill the Dark One," said Aurora. "Gaston made it sound as if he's cast a spell on some poor girl."
"Yeah, that's my mom," said Beatrice.
"Oh," said Aurora. She looked at Gold. "And that makes you?"
"Who do you suppose?"
"Well," said Aurora, trying to regain her royal composure, "it's a pleasure to meet you."
Neal came out. He spotted Aurora. "I say no fairy tales and this is what happens?"
"She just sort of got to town," said Beatrice.
"Yes, how exactly did this turn of events come to pass?," asked Gold. "Did Hook kidnap you?," asked Gold.
"Hook?," asked Neal.
"I called this," said Beatrice.
"I stowed away on his ship," said Aurora.
"And why would you do that?," asked Gold.
"My fiancé, Philip, is in love with someone else," Aurora said with contempt. "She's called Mulan."
"Whoa," said Neal.
"Wow, okay," said Beatrice. "So not in the Disney version."
"Is that lamb?," asked Aurora.
"Beatrice, would you help our guest find something to wear?," said Gold.
"Then what?"
"Then take her into dinner."
"Oh, come on, no," said Neal.
"What do you propose I do with her, then?," asked Gold. "Put her under a sleeping curse and lock her away in a tower?"
"What about Hook and Gaston?," asked Beatrice.
"I shouldn't worry, sweetheart. I've dealt with them once. I can do so again."
"Maybe I should call Emma," Neal suggested, clearly uncomfortable with the tone his father was taking.
"No, I can handle this," said Gold.
Neal turned. "Belle!"
"You don't need to-"
Belle came in the living room. She saw Aurora. "What's going on?"
Neal pointed at Gold. "Talk to him." He walked back into the dining room.
"Oh, so this is how it's going to be?," asked Beatrice. "That's just great!"
"Beatrice, take your friend upstairs," said Gold.
She groaned and motioned for Aurora to follow her.
Beatrice watched as Aurora hunted through her closet, then not finding anything acceptable she hunted through Belle's.
"Why are all of your mother's gowns so short?," asked Aurora.
"Because we live in the twenty-first century?"
"What about this one?," asked Aurora, pulling out a dress Belle had worn to a library fundraiser.
"No." Beatrice sighed and pulled out a pale blue vintage forties dress of her mother's. "What about this one?"
"Well, I suppose that's acceptable. I shall have to learn the ways of this new land."
"Yeah, about that," said Beatrice, following Aurora back to her room, "why are you here?"
"I told you. Philip is in love with someone else." She stepped in the bathroom.
"I thought he was your True Love or whatever."
"Yes, well, that doesn't seem to matter as much to him."
Aurora emerged wearing the dress and her tiara.
"Not going to ditch the tiara for dinner?"
"Aren't you wearing yours?"
"I don't have one."
"Oh." She looked at the TV. "Is this your magic mirror?"
"No, that's the TV."
"The what?"
"Yeah, we can go over this later. Let's go eat, Dowager Countess."
Aurora followed. "I'm not a countess and I'm certainly not a dowager."
"Yes, Lady Grantham."
They entered the dining room. Neal and Tamara stopped regaling Belle and Henry with some story.
"Guys, this is my friend Aurora Grantham, you know my mom and Neal. This is my nephew, Henry and my brother's fiancée, Tamara."
"Aurora?," asked Henry.
Belle quickly shushed him. The two sat down.
"It's lovely to meet you all," said Aurora.
"That's a cute hair comb," Tamara said motioning at the tiara.
"It's a tiara," Aurora corrected before anyone could stop her.
Beatrice looked at Belle. "Yeah, this is going downhill fast."
"Oh, hello, everyone!," a voice boomed.
Beatrice looked up to see Merlin coming in.
"So," he said jovially, "I hear that the murderous one-handed pirate and the potentially murderous one-footed knight are on their way here to kill our Mister Sunshine." He picked a dinner roll from its basket and looked at Tamara. "Now, what shall we do and who are you exactly?"
Tamara looked at Neal. "What the hell is going on?"
"Pirates?," asked Henry. "Cool."
The doorbell rang.
"That ought to be Regina," said Merlin.
"What? Did you put it on Facebook?," asked Beatrice.
"I texted her," said Merlin. "You can't leave the Evil Queen to her own devices in these circumstances. She'll get ideas."
"I'll get it," Belle said quietly.
"The Evil Queen?," Tamara asked harshly.
Merlin sat down at the table and started making himself a plate. "Someone's a bit behind."
"This is my fiancée, Tamara," Neal said quietly.
"Hi, Tamara. I'm Merlin."
"What is going on?," Tamara demanded.
"Well, once upon a time a queen cast a dark curse-" Beatrice began.
"Beatrice," Neal warned.
"What? Should I start further back?," asked Beatrice. "How far back? Stable boy far back or ogre wars far back?"
"Neal, can I speak to you in the other room?," asked Tamara, getting up and walking away.
"Thanks, thanks a lot," said Neal.
"Oh, no problem," said Beatrice as he hurried after her. She turned to Merlin. "I so told these people we couldn't act normal."
"The day you do act normal, that will really be something."
Regina entered, closely followed by Belle. "Henry, come on."
"Not so fast, Regina," said Merlin.
"He's my son and I'm going to keep him safe from the pirate and the floral arrangement," said Regina.
"But for one thing," said Merlin. "Your son is still Rumplestiltskin's grandson and Hook is not terribly interested in how he hurts Rumplestiltskin, only that he does."
"I'm familiar with the man," said Regina. She looked at Aurora. "Aren't you supposed to be asleep?"
"Wait," said Henry, "the pirate is Captain Hook?"
"Oh, to be ten." Merlin looked up at Belle. "You're very quiet."
"No," Belle protested. "I should see what Rumple is doing."
"The Enchanted Forest?!," Tamara shouted from the other room. "Get real with me, Neal! If you want out, just say it!"
"That's going well," said Beatrice.
Belle walked into the workshop just in time to see Gold dissolve some gold into a potion.
"Don't ask."
"I think Merlin's my father," said Belle.
He paused.
"That's not funny," said Gold.
Belle didn't say anything.
"You're serious?," asked Gold.
Belle nodded.
"Did he say that?"
"Not in so many words, but I've been getting books on my birthday for as long as I can remember," said Belle. "I got them in the Enchanted Forest, in your castle and in New York. Henry's got a story in his book about Merlin and a daughter who gets books for her birthday."
"He's..." Gold sat back down on the stool. "I don't understand."
"I'm still trying to process it myself." She looked up to see Hook running in the cellar behind Gold. "Rumple!"
Gold snapped around and with a wave of the hand, Hook was paralyzed against the wall.
"Do you mind, dearie? We're in the middle of something. Now, where's the flower?"
"You have magic," said Hook. "There wasn't supposed to be any magic in this land."
"Did Cora tell you that, dearie?"
"Where is Gaston?," asked Belle.
"I assume your fiance went looking for you, love."
Inside, the fight between Neal and Tamara had not lessened.
"Seriously, you think I believe your dad spins straw into gold?!"
"I think we should make popcorn," said Beatrice, assessing what she could gather from the doorway.
"Why doesn't she believe him?," asked Aurora.
"Oh, yeah, just fyi," said Beatrice, "everyone thinks you're just a story."
"What's fyi?"
"What's the matter, Your Majesty?," asked Merlin.
"Nothing. I'm just mad Rumplestiltskin can cook this well," said Regina, finishing the piece of lamb she had gotten.
The doorbell rang again.
"Should I get that?," asked Beatrice.
"No, I'll get it," said Merlin.
Merlin got up and walked into the living room.
"Is my mom ever coming back?," asked Beatrice.
She went out the back door from the kitchen. "Mom!"
Getting no answer, she went further down the steps.
"Mom!"
She felt a hand clamp over her mouth and a knife at her throat. She caught Gaston's profile in the moonlight.
"Where is Belle, witch?"
She squirmed and his hand became tighter. Beatrice wondered which of her semi-useless magical powers she ought to deploy. The throwing back thing? Popsicle mode? The candle lighting thing was out, taxi hailing wouldn't help even if that was a thing.
She tried to shake him off and had no luck since Gaston was as stupid as he was strong. She saw lightning in the distance, growing closer.
"Hey!"
Gaston turned and Beatrice was treated to the sight of Princess Aurora with a rolling pin. She swung it at him, baseball bat style and he didn't even stumble. Beatrice kicked at the wooden peg that replaced his foot and ankle, the knife nicking her in the process.
"Sir Gaston, what poor manners."
Beatrice looked up to see Regina, with Henry not far behind.
She waved her hand and the knife fell from his hand.
"It's terribly rude to show up at a house uninvited and interrupt dinner. Now, let her go or I'll have to teach you a lesson about manners."
"And why should I listen to you, Evil Queen?"
"You should listen to me," Beatrice heard Merlin say. He put his index finger and Gaston and he unceremoniously flopped to the ground.
"He wounded you," Aurora said.
"I'm fine," said Beatrice, feeling woozy.
"Whoa, sweetheart, I've got you," said Merlin, catching her.
"Gold!," Regina shouted. "Belle! Get out here!"
Merlin eased her to the ground. She saw her parents rushing out. Merlin's hand became glowing blue and Beatrice felt the same tingling over her neck as she had with her wrists and her eyes.
"Beatrice, sweetheart," said Belle, cradling her.
"She'll be alright," said Merlin.
"Hello?"
They looked up to see Emma, David and Mary Margaret arriving.
"Is everything okay? What happened?," asked Mary Margaret.
"Where to begin with that," remarked Beatrice, still feeling very out of it.
"Sheriff, you can do your job and get this and that pirate off my property or I can kill them," said Gold. "Either way."
"Guys, what happened?," Neal asked from the back porch.
It was a very wet ride to the weather sorceress' house.
Too wet for the harvest.
Bernard had been learning the rest of his duties and had lost track of when the summer ended. He had gotten his reminder a few days before when the rains began in Padua.
He finally arrived, sopping wet though the rain broke when he arrived at the border of Padua. He could see the great storm cloud hanging in the sky over his land.
"Well, well, well," said Amelia, "look who's come to call."
"You didn't really leave me a choice. I rode in the pouring rain the entire way here."
"Oh, I'm so sorry," she said. "Let me help."
She waved her hand and a blanket appeared on his horse, a roaring fire in front of him. The horse neighed in appreciation as Bernard dripped.
Amelia shrugged. "I have a soft spot for animals. So much more pleasant than people."
"How do I make the rain stop?"
"Well, you could begin by paying my fee."
"For the year?," he sighed.
"For the year, else what will happen when autumn runs out? It might be a very cold winter."
Bernard grudgingly took a sack off the steed's saddlebags. He handed it to Amelia.
"Thank you," said Amelia.
She smiled and the cloud cleared from Padua. The sun shone down on the land.
"I think it ought to clear in time for the harvest," said Amelia.
"It happens just like that?," Bernard asked in amazement.
"You should have seen it when I was a teenager," said Amelia. "Rain when I was sad. Wind when I was mad."
"Thunder and lightning when you were angry?," Bernard offered.
"Thunder, yes. Lightning when I was scared." She walked back to the cottage. "Have a pleasant journey home."
Before long, Beatrice was in her room, crashed out on the bed. Belle came in.
"So, dinner went well," said Beatrice.
Belle smiled and tucked the covers around her. "I think Tamara got an idea."
"Why are you tucking me in?"
"Because I'm your mother, I love you and you've had a trying evening." She kissed her on the cheek. "Good night."
"Good night," said Beatrice.
Belle started downstairs as the Doctor Who theme began to play. She smiled and went down to see Merlin still in the entry way.
"Rumplestiltskin will be back. I told him I would wait," said Merlin.
"Right..." said Belle. "Thank you for your help. Again."
"No thanks needed."
Belle nodded.
"You're very quiet this evening," said Merlin.
"The weather," said Belle. "That's been Beatrice, hasn't it?"
"What made you put that together?"
"My great-grandmother was a weather sorceress. I knew her when I was very young and I don't think I believed her, but she told me stories about how when she was upset, the sky would open." Belle shrugged. "The same thing happens every time Donna Noble loses her memories."
"Who?," asked Merlin.
"It's from Doctor Who. Beatrice feels these things deeply. I was the same when I was her age, just with books."
"Like mother, like daughter."
"Have you ever read a story called The Mayor of Casterbridge?," Belle managed to stammer out. "Thomas Hardy?"
"Yes," said Merlin.
"That's a sad book," said Belle. "I cried for an hour and I was twenty. I had just turned twenty that day."
Gold entered. He looked from Belle to Merlin. "Am I interrupting something?"
"I was just leaving," said Merlin. "Good night, sunshine. Good night, Belle."
Merlin hurried out. Gold turned to Belle.
"Well?," he asked.
Belle just shook her head and threw herself into his arms.
"It can't be as bad as all that," Gold ruefully remarked.
"I don't have any idea what to do," Belle admitted.
"You'll figure it out. You always do."
