Author's Notes: I do not own Once Upon A Time which is a show on ABC made by sadists. Thanks so much for your reads and reviews and follows. I am so sorry I am so behind on getting back to you, but kind of had a vacation. Also, get redy for me to wreak havoc with mythology if that sort of thing bothers you. Please let me know what you think and happy reading!


"Happy birthday!"

Beatrice bolted awake. Belle was carrying a tray in her room, complete with espresso and flowers in a vase. Gold was right behind her.

"What?"

"There," said Gold dryly. "That was precisely the reaction we were hoping for."

"Sit up," Belle ordered and Beatrice did. Belle set the tray down on her lap.

"Sorry? What's going on?"

"It's your birthday," said Gold.

"Well, thanks, but I have to get ready for school," said Beatrice.

"You're not going to school today," said Belle.

"I'm not?"

"No," said Gold. "Did you really think we would subject you to your schoolmates' tiresome company on your birthday?"

"Yeah," said Beatrice.

"Well, we're not," said Belle. "The day is yours to do with as you wish."

"Really?"

"Yes, really," said Gold.

"So," said Belle, "what are you going to do?"

"I don't know," said Beatrice.

"You're going to just sit here and watch Doctor Who, aren't you?," asked Gold.

"Yeah, pretty much," said Beatrice.

"We'll leave you to it, then," said Belle.

"Call if you change your mind or when you want lunch," said Gold.


Last Week

"Hey," said Belle, hurrying in the pawn shop where Gold waited behind the counter. "I came as soon as I could. I had to shove Mrs. Schuman and her children out. I swear they all have Cheetos powder on their fingers."

"Do you have any idea what they've done now?"

"Who?"

"Our charming in-laws."

Belle rolled her eyes. "I told you, I don't-"

"They've reserved the park."

Belle was surprised. "I thought the party was at Granny's."

"It was at Granny's. Then more people wanted to come. Now it's at the park."

"How many people?," asked Belle.

"I've lost count," said Gold. "It seems that most of the town is coming."

Belle leaned against the counter. "So, we just keep Beatrice out of the park. Maybe she won't even care."

"Oh, she'll care."

"She didn't want a big party."

"No, she wants one, she can't have one, so there we are so I suggest we revisit what we can do." Gold reached under the counter and put a stack of brochures on top.

Belle looked over. "A car? You want to get her a car?"

"She is turning sixteen. I believe that's the custom in this land."

"Only for spoiled rich kids. Especially when the person in question only has a learner's permit."

"Yes, I've spoken to the Storybrooke Department of Motor Vehicles and I believe something could be arranged."

Belle shook her head. "It's too much. What about that thing she wanted?"

"Yes, I've already ordered it and according to the 'support monkey' I spoke with, it should arrive tomorrow. That aside, I have not given her anything for fifteen birthdays. The car won't even approach the value of what I would have given her on those occasions." He held up the brochures. "I'm leaning towards a Volkswagen. The Audi looked promising, but I didn't like the tone of the salesman."

Belle put her hands over Gold's. "I know you want to give her everything, but this is not the right time for this."

"It will give her some distance from me," said Gold.

Belle shook her head. "I don't understand."

"She could drive herself to and from school and about town. She wouldn't have to arrive with the most hated and feared man in Storybrooke."

Belle leaned across the counter on her toes and kissed him. "You're a good papa. You don't need to prove it with things."


Belle drove along the road as Gold spoke on the phone.

"I was told that I could expect delivery today," Gold said sternly.

Belle rolled her eyes.

"I am aware of the additional charges because I read the agreement. Did you happen to read the agreement?"

"Well, you ought to know no that one has ever broken an agreement with me," said Gold.

"Really, Rumple?," Belle whispered.

"No, it most definitely would not suit me to take delivery in Boston."

Belle stopped in front of the park. The seven dwarves appeared to be building a dance floor and there appeared to be a sound system going up.

"They can't be serious."

Gold glanced up at Belle's comment. "The vehicle will be delivered this afternoon at the time I requested or I will have no need of it or you. Is that understood, dearie?" He paused. "I thought so."

Gold hung up.

"This is just out of control, isn't it?," asked Belle.

"Sorry, have you met Prince Charming?"


It was market day in the coastal village. The town was bustling and at the shore the mermaids sold seashells in exchange for trinkets. Merlin quite enjoyed this: blending. Seeing what people did, pretending he was one of them. Though that was not why he had come today.

He was here on business.

Merlin made his way to them.

"What do you want?"

Merlin sat on a rock where the waves lapped against the shore.

"Oh, come now, Cousin Alope, I did you a favor, didn't I? Or aren't you enjoying life under the sea?"

"What is it?"

"I'm looking for a book. I heard Ursula might have seen it."

"A book?," she asked.

"The book."

Alope's face dropped. "Cousin..."

"I want it."

"What for? You know what that book does."

"You were always somewhat simple-minded. You need not concern yourself with what that book does, just that I want it."

Alope softened. "Ursula traded it."

"And to whom did she trade it?"

She smiled. "The three."


Last Week

"Has Rumplestiltskin come up with a plan yet?," Merlin suddenly asked.

"A plan for what?"

"Beatrice's birthday, of course."

"Oh, right," Belle smiled. "We're keeping it low key. Just the family and Aurora."

"Wise move."

Belle hesitated. "Would you like to come?"

"Would I like to come?"

"Yes," said Belle. "Unless you have plans or something."

"What? Like attending the Savior's carnival?"

"You aren't, are you?"

"What would I do that for?"

"So, you'll come?"

"I'll come. Be sure to warn the Dark One."

Belle looked up to see Mary Margaret and David entering the library.

"Hi," said Belle.

"Henry told us about Beatrice's birthday," said Mary Margaret. "I had no idea it was on the same day as Emma's."

"Right," said Belle. "We're keeping it small. I realize it is his mother, but we would love to have Henry over for just a bit."

"We're sort of having a pretty big party," said Mary Margaret.

"Oh?," asked Belle. There really was no need to share that Rumple practically knew the catering menu.

"Maybe Beatrice could do something a different night?"

"Well," said Belle, "I would have to talk to Rumple."

"They could share," said Mary Margaret. "How many people do you have coming?"

Belle shook her head. "I would have to get a final count..."

"How many could it be?," asked David.

Mary Margaret cast David a glare.

Belle cleared her throat. "It might not be the best idea."

"Why not?," asked Mary Margaret.

"Well, I don't know how many people you have coming, but I would hate to invite the comparison..." said Belle.

"What comparison?," asked David.

"The comparison that Beatrice would feel as if she were tacked on to Emma's party," said Belle.

"No..." Mary Margaret said, shaking her head.

"We just want to help," said David. "We know she doesn't have a lot of friends."

Mary Margaret shot him another look.

"Yes, I had noticed that," Belle said tartly. "Sorry, I'll have to talk this over with Rumple."

"Right," said Mary Margaret. "We didn't mean to offend you."

"No, just because your husband's pointed out that my daughter's a pariah..."

"We were trying to help," said Mary Margaret.

"Yes, I'll consider it..."

Mary Margaret and David left.

Belle turned to Merlin. "Can I ask you something? And please, be honest."

"You may and I will," said Merlin.

"Am I a total bitch if I am angry about what just happened?"

"No."


Belle looked across the street from the bakery at Game of Thorns.

"Well," said Gold, "the birthday girl has put in her lunch order. What are you staring at?"

"I think my father is supplying flowers for Emma's party."

"Look on the bright side, he's probably not your father."

Belle cast a glare at him. "He's still the man who raised me. The least he could do is not give flowers for someone else's party..."

"No, sweetheart, the least he could have done was not try to murder his unborn granddaughter," said Gold. "The least the Charmings could do is not have anything to do with him."

"He's the only florist in town," said Belle. She looked back at the abandoned dessert case. "What is taking so long?"

"An excellent question," said Gold. "Oh, Mr. Drury?"

Mr. Drury emerged. "Uh, yes, Mr. Gold?"

"Is there a problem?"

"Well, it's just that the cake isn't quite finished."

"I ordered two weeks ago," Belle protested.

"It's just we had a large order come in at the last second."

"Let me guess," said Belle. "For Emma's party."

"It'll be just one moment," said the baker, rushing away.

"This is getting ridiculous," said Belle.

"I should have a word with him," said Gold.

"No," said Belle.

"As you wish," he said with resignation.


Beatrice was enjoying her birthday. She was lounging around the house, dressed in yoga pants, one of her Doctor Who tees with her hair piled on top of her head, moving from room to room in no hurry. She never got to look like a slug in Storybrooke, she always felt like people were watching her. It was nice just to not have anyone looking.

The doorbell rang and she went to get it.

"Emma," she said.

"Hey."

"Hey. If you want my dad, he's out."

"No, actually, I brought you something."

"Oh," said Beatrice, stepping aside. "Come on in."

Emma walked in. "Have you been crying?"

"What?" She sniffled. "Oh, I was just watching 'The Angels Take Manhattan' then you know Rory, then Amy and she says 'Goodbye, Raggedy Man.'"

"Why do you watch a show that makes you cry?"

"It's hard to explain."

"Well, anyway," said Emma, holding up a small paper bag, "Henry said you would like this."

"Thanks," said Beatrice, taking it. She opened the bag. "You got me River Song's journal!"

"Yeah, I still don't know who that is," said Emma.

"Thank you," said Beatrice.

"You're welcome. I have to get going. I've got all these weird calls coming in."

"Isn't it your birthday?," asked Beatrice.

"Yeah, it's not a big deal. I'm not even having a party."

"What kind of weird calls?"

"You know, jumping cow, guy fell off a wall. Why?"

"You're having a party."

"I just said-"

"It's your birthday and your guilt-ridden parents who sent you through a tree to Maine aren't at your side? You're having a party. Try to act surprised."

"No, I don't think so.." Her phone beeped again. "Gotta go."

"You'll see I'm right," Beatrice called after her.


The three fates looked up to see Merlin standing among their threads.

"What do you want?," asked Morta.

"Why does no one say hello to me anymore?"

"We're busy," said Nona as she continued at the wheel.

"I know, I know, life, death, etcetera," said Merlin. "I was just wondering if I might have that book."

"What book?," asked Decima as she measured threads with the rod.

"The Book of the Dark Princess."

Nona stopped spinning and exchanged glances with the other two.

"I traded for that book for a reason," said Morta.

"You don't know what type of monster it might reap," said Decima.

"Nor do you," said Merlin. One of the threads on the wall hung much longer than any of the others. "Who is this?"

"No one you know," said Decima.

"Just born."

"I know..." mused Merlin. "The child of a god? I didn't know anyone was expecting."

"Consult an oracle if you want details," said Morta. "We only spin, measure and cut."

"Such a strange thing you do," mused Merlin. "You spin the thread of life, you measure how much one gets and then you cut it. Don't you ever feel like you're murdering them the moment they're born?"

"Don't be absurd," said Morta. "It's fate. It's decided."

He held the long thread in his hand. "And yet this one gets to live so long." He looked up. "Aren't you tired?"

"Of what?"

"Of being gods," said Merlin. "Of deciding who lives and for how long. Suppose you just stopped?"

"We can't stop," said Decima. "This world would descend into chaos like the other-"

"Just suppose," said Merlin. "Suppose they got to decide for themselves. What sort of world would that be? See where I'm headed with this?"

"And what would this Dark Princess have to do with it?"

"Give me the book and we'll find out," said Merlin.


Last Week

Belle walked into the pawn shop, fuming.

"Back so soon?," asked Gold.

Belle stopped at the case as Gold put up his bookkeeping. "Mary Margaret just paid me a visit. She found out Beatrice's birthday is on the same day as Emma's."

"Judging by your mood, I would say she made a proposal."

"She suggested that we do something on another day or better yet, Beatrice could share with Emma."

"Beatrice could share?," Gold asked his voice dripping with contempt.

"I have never been this mad. What does she see in that man?"

"She means our daughter could have the leftovers from her daughter's party?"

"And what's worse is that she thinks she's being nice!"

"Careful, sweetheart, you're sounding a bit too much like Regina for my taste, though I am enjoying this side of you." He put the car brochures back on the counter.

"Rumple, it's still..."

"I'm proposing this: a day off from school to do with what she wishes, a small dinner with her family, the whatever it was and a brand new car. Now, what discerning sixteen year old can argue with that and won't that prove a big enough distraction from Miss Swan's party?"

Belle grudgingly picked up a brochure. "Do these things have safety information?"

"I've already underlined it."

"And they have license plate frames and things that say 'My other ride is a TARDIS.' She'll want that."

"I'll call the customer service monkey."


Beatrice came downstairs.

"There she is," Belle said in an excited voice.

"You look lovely," said Gold.

Beatrice looked down at the purple dress. "Not really. I only got out of yoga pants because you people threatened me with pictures."

"Speaking of which," said Belle, hurrying back towards her phone on the table in the hall. She held it up. "Smile!"

Beatrice rolled her eyes.

"My mother commissioned my portrait for my sixteenth birthday," said Belle. "You're getting off easy. Now, smile."

Beatrice smiled and waited as Belle got several shots.

"Okay, let's go," said Beatrice. "Come on. Sweet sixteen."

"We're still waiting on our guests," said Belle.

"Guests? We have guests?"

"Of course we have guests," said Belle. "Your brother and Merlin. Not to mention I am not sure what's happened to Aurora."

"Oh, you know her, probably saw a spinning wheel or a prince or something," said Beatrice. "Let's get going."

"We're going to give them a bit," said Belle.

"It's not the only thing we're waiting on," said Gold, checking his watch. "Excuse me one moment."

Belle turned back to Beatrice. "Do you want a drink or anything?"

"Okay."

"Okay," Belle smiled. Unable to resist, she gave Beatrice a kiss on the cheek. "You are becoming a beautiful young woman."

Belle walked off. The door opened and Merlin entered.

"There's the birthday girl," said Merlin.

Beatrice frowned.

"What's wrong?," asked Merlin.

Beatrice got a flash. "Nothing..."

"Are you certain?"

"Yeah."

"Very well. Where are the rest of our revelers?"

Beatrice shrugged. "I don't know."

"At any rate, happy birthday," said Merlin, handing her a gift wrapped in gold paper.

"Thank you," said Beatrice.

Belle came in the entryway. "Merlin."

"I got a present."

"I see that," said Belle.

"Should I wait?," she asked, motioning at the gift.

"No, go on," said Belle.

Beatrice opened it, revealing a book. It was a great, thick thing with red leather and her name in gilded letters. Beatrice flipped through, puzzled. The first pages were written and then it just went blank.

"Okay, I don't get it," said Beatrice.

"Simply put, the book is the story of your life," said Merlin. "Unwritten for the most part, but it will write itself. Or rather you will write it."

"Okay, thanks for the weird magical book." She caught her mother staring at the book. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," said Belle. She looked up at Merlin. "Did you want a drink or something?"

Aurora entered, carrying cotton candy. "I am so sorry. I got distracted in the town square."

"You have cotton candy?," asked Beatrice. She took a piece off. "Is there a carnival or something? I could go for cotton candy."

"Well, it's Emma's party-"

Belle motioned for her to shut up and the princess acted too slowly.

"Emma has a party in the town square?," asked Beatrice. "And there's a cotton candy guy?"

"And something called funnel cakes," said Aurora.

"Seriously?"

Gold entered, hanging up his phone. "What's this?"

"Emma's having some giant party," said Beatrice.

"Is that so?," asked Gold.

Beatrice looked at Gold. "That was so unconvincing."

"I wouldn't concern yourself with it," said Gold.

"I wasn't going to," said Beatrice.

"It's just awkward you two having the same birthday," said Belle.

"Well, there's like seven billion people on the planet," said Beatrice. "I probably have the same birthday as a lot of people. Wait, I can do this, seven billion divided by three hundred and sixty-five, no wait, three hundred and sixty-six..."

"Well, good," said Belle. "We're just waiting on Neal."

"Oh, I saw him at Emma's party," said Aurora.

"He was where?," asked Gold.

"It's not a big deal," said Beatrice.

"Sweetheart, on this occasion, I'm going to have to disagree with you," said Gold.

"Mom!," said Beatrice upon noticing her mother was practically at the front door.

Belle stopped and turned. "I'll just be a minute."

"Whatever, can I just have dinner?"

Belle nodded. "Okay, we'll eat," said Belle.


Merlin sat in the forest and looked at the book. Red leather. A gilded title "The Dark Princess."

"Merlin."

He recoiled at the sound of her voice. He wanted to wretch. Merlin turned to see her.

"You've really gone all in for the whole fairy bit, haven't you, Viviane?"

She rolled her eyes as her wings fluttered. "Blue."

"Ah, the blue trollop. How are things? You know, in whatever you're calling it, in Pixie Hollow?"

"You made your choice."

"I could never be like you. Glitter wreaks havoc with my complexion."

"What do you want with the book?"

"What do you care?"

"That book is the story of a Dark Princess."

"That's where you're wrong, you short-sighted sparkling tart. This is many possible futures. It is as yet unwritten."

"And you want to write it?"

"I'm just going to do the set dressing."

"Merlin, I'm begging you to reconsider..."

"Really? Begging? Oh, well, then, by all means, let me stop."

"You have Camelot-"

"Camelot will fall as quickly as it rises. And why? A woman. I've figured a way around that."

"A Dark Princess," Blue said, her voice dripping with contempt.

"I've always wondered about that title, 'The Dark Princess.' What do you suppose it means?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"I don't think it is, though." He locked eyes with her as she floated above. "And don't begin to think you can get your little glowing hands on this book."

Merlin disappeared before her eyes and found himself back at his cottage.

"Now, Book of the Dark Princess, where do you begin?"

He opened the book and waved his hand. A magnificent illustration of a tree appeared with many branches and a few names filled in at the top of the mother's side.

There was the most curious thing on the father's side. Just one name.

"Rumplestiltskin? How do you even say that? What sort of sadist calls their son Rumplestiltskin?"

He thought back to the long thread in the Fates' room.

"Now, how do you manage that?," Merlin asked the page.


Beatrice made it through dinner. She tried unsuccessfully shove the attention off herself and they had finally ended up in the living room eating more cake as Beatrice tried out her sonic screwdriver remote.

"I don't understand," said Aurora. "Why is that skeleton walking?"

"The Vashta Nerada are making it move," said Beatrice.

"And what are they?"

"They're the creatures that live in the shadows."

"And what's happening with the red-headed woman?"

"Donna's trapped in the computer core," said Beatrice.

Aurora paused. "Okay, I need you to start over again."

"We have restarted four times," said Merlin. "Go with it."

"Mom hates this episode!," Beatrice called, teasing at Belle in the kitchen.

"I'm not watching it!," Belle called back.

"Why does she hate it?," asked Aurora.

"The Vashta Nerada are in the books," said Beatrice. She looked at Gold. "Are we done yet? You've been standing there like an hour!"

"We most certainly are not," said Gold as he stared out the window.

"Yeah," said Beatrice, taking another bite of cake. "If we're waiting on Neal to show, I don't think that's quite happening. Speaking of which, we're all agreed this Tamara thing isn't going to work out, right?"

"Most definitely," said Merlin.

"Without a doubt," said Aurora.

Her musing was interrupted by the sudden boom of fireworks.

"Okay, seriously?," asked Beatrice. "Did Emma's birthday become an actual national holiday or something?"

"That's nothing," said Merlin. "You should have seen the spectacles made in the Enchanted Forest over these things. Great balls, days of dances and fireworks on the hour..."

Aurora looked up. "I'm sorry. Are you mocking my ball?"

"Oh, was that your ball?," asked Merlin.

"It was wonderful. Everyone said so."

"You mean the people you invited?"

"I'm getting more cake," said Beatrice.

Beatrice walked back in the kitchen. Belle was wrapping up dinner.

"I am going to give Neal a piece of my mind," said Belle.

"I don't care," said Beatrice, lifting the glass dome off the cake dish.

Belle shook her head. "You can care, you know. You're allowed to care."

"I don't care."

"What is it you think would happen if you said how you really felt for once?"

"Why does it matter so much to you? If I was popular, would that make you happy?"

"It is not the popularity, Beatrice. It's that you don't think you're worth a big party. You don't understand just how extraordinary you are."

Beatrice shook her head. "I'm not-"

"Beatrice!," Gold called.

She looked at Belle. "What is that?"

Belle smiled. "You should go see."

Beatrice walked out front. There was a car. A cute, deep blue hatchback.

"What's that?," she asked.

Gold was signing some papers as a young woman stood nervously by it.

"What does it look like?"

"It looks like a car."

"Very observant. Of course, it would have been easier to observe in the daylight," said Gold, glaring at the woman.

"Once again, I am very sorry, Mr. Gold. I had trouble finding this place on my phone's GPS and then I got turned around by the carnival."

Gold handed the papers back. "Will that do?"

"Yes, Mr. Gold and thank you for your business..."

The woman handed him keys.

"Beatrice," said Gold, turning towards her.

She carefully descended the front steps. "Sorry, what is happening?"

Gold put the keys in her hand. "Happy birthday."

"You got me a car? Like a normal car? It's not to drive to Hogwarts in?"

At this point, Miss O'Malley looked extremely confused.

"Good night, Miss O'Malley," said Gold.

The woman nodded and quickly left.

"You got me a car." Beatrice shook her head.

"Do you like it?"

"Yeah, but, you shouldn't have gotten me a car..."

"Yes, we've seen you drive," muttered Merlin.

"Beatrice, this is not one one hundredth of what you deserve," said Gold.

Beatrice slowly smiled. "I have a car." She turned back to look at Belle. "I have a car."

"I see that," said Belle.

"You have a car," Gold repeated.

"I have a car." She suddenly turned to Gold and hugged him. "Thank you, Dad!"

Gold was taken aback by the sudden display of enthusiasm. "Well, that made it worth it."

"Hey, guys."

They looked up to see Neal coming.

He held his hand up. "I'm sorry. I lost track of time. I know you're pissed."

"Oh, you know?," asked Belle.

Neal pointed at the hatchback. "Is this Beatrice's?"

"Yes," said Beatrice. "So, what was so great about Emma's party?"

"Yeah, she's pissed."

"Really?," asked Beatrice.

"Yeah, she said she didn't want a party let alone a fair. It got pretty intense."

"Well," said Beatrice, "I'm going for a drive and you can't come."

Belle smiled. She was actually standing up for herself.

"Sunshine is not always wrong. A well-timed gift can do wonders," Merlin whispered to Belle.

"Yes," Belle said, thinking back to many birthdays and many books that came at the moment she needed them. "I think you're right.."

"I can't come?," asked Neal.

"No, you missed dinner. You're lucky you're getting cake," said Beatrice.

"I sort of filled up on cotton candy," said Neal.

"Oh, well, too bad," said Beatrice. She jingled the keys. "Who wants to come with me?"

Gold grimaced. "Legally, I think I have to..." He looked at Beatrice. "Around the block, that's all. It's dark."

"Aurora?"

"I distrust these carriages..."

"Is that your excuse?," asked Merlin.

"Yes!," Aurora hissed back.

"Too bad. Mom, come on," said Beatrice.

"Okay," said Belle, following them.

They got in and were soon off on all the adventure the drive around the neighborhood could offer.

"Now, Beatrice," said Gold, "it's a newer car and lighter, you might find that you-"

She slammed her foot on the brake, lurching them forward.

"That you don't need to push as hard on the brake," finished Gold.

"Right," said Beatrice. "I get that."


A/N: I don't usually do this, but to clue in non-Whovians and spoiler alert, I guess, the episode they're watching is called Forest of the Dead, the episode after Silence in the Library. It concerns flesh-eating aliens that have sort of attacked a giant library planet and thus I figured would be Belle's least favorite episode of Doctor Who ever.