Chapter 17 - Uneasy Lies the Head

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It took a supreme amount of willpower to keep herself from sighing. The teens around her shot to their feet in embarrasment for having been caught just as Raven turned the handles and pushed the double doors open to face the Order. All eyes stared at her as she took two strides to enter the dining room and stopped, waiting for directions. Instead of motioning her to a chair, Dumbledore beckoned her to come stand next to him at the head of the table. As she crossed the room, the sheepish faces of the remaining teenagers poked into the room.

"You may come in as well, seeing that you are already privy to our discussion." They shuffled in and took chairs seated outside the circle in the back of the room, their eyes wanting to explore, but resisting the urge in order to appear contrite.

"As you have heard, we have discussed the role we'd like you to fill," Dumbledore adressed Raven, putting a hand on her shoulder. Something inside Raven still flinched at the contact, but she made sure nothing physically betrayed the reaction.

"You wish me to spy on Voldemort," she said blandly, ignoring the quick intakes of breath around the table at the forbidden name.

The headmaster glanced around the room, his eyes resting on Snape for a moment. "Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself," he reprimanded loudly.

He paused for an excruciating amount of time before turning back to her. "Yes, my dear. It's a dangerous assignment, but Severus would be able to assist you in preparing before you make contact with the Death Eaters. They'll be making themselves known to you soon. I know you've interacted a bit with young Draco Malfoy, so it is with the utmost urgency we instruct you before his father or the others contact you." It was clear the headmaster wasn't aware of her meeting with Lucius Malfoy. Raven contemplated sharing the news, but decided against it...after all, she still worked alone, and she didn't feel like spilling every bit of news to Dumbledore. Especially after having some questions raised regarding this organization.

Her eyes swept the room, her empathic powers picking up a garbled mess of tangled emotions and flashes of inner thoughts. The sorceress wasn't really trying to read them, but allowed herself to float on the surface of the sea...not dipping deeper and only getting a hint of what each member was feeling. She was unprepared, however, for what she met when her eyes caught those of Snape. Raven couldn't help but be swallowed by the abyss of shock and despair...not to mention an overwhelming sense of betrayal. These feelings were barely below surface-level, and she was astonished to realize he was making no great effort to hide them. It was as though he had given up caring. More than boiling rage or frustration, this numb shell disturbed Raven to the core. She drew back into herself as the headmaster continued speaking.

"...therefore I believe this is the perfect opportunity to swear you into the Order. It will involve an Unbreakable Vow, Raven; a contract sealed and enforced by magic. All you must do is join hands with me and answer 'I will' at the appropriate moments. Arthur, if you would do the honors of the binding."

The middle-aged father slid his chair back and made his way to the head of the table, pulling his wand out from his sleeve as he stopped between the two. The crowd at the table watched in silence as Dumbledore extended his hand. They said nothing as Raven slowly grasped it. "Kneel, please, my dear."

Her violet eyes narrowed sharply at the command. He wanted her to bow to him, now? She hesitated a moment before finally lowering herself into the submissive position...And the room seemed to let out a breath it had been holding when she did. She kept her gaze on the clasped hands and studiously kept all trace of expression from her face...despite her hood being raised, a mere twitch of an eye or mouth muscle could speak volumes.

The Weasley patriarch spoke some foreign words, and an iridescent ribbon of light appeared and gracefully wrapped itself around Raven and Dumbledore's hands. The sorceress watched, nearly mesmorized by the faint glow of the semi-intangeble band floating just in front of her. Her concentration was interrupted by the sound of the Headmaster's voice, so melodic and yet so monotone. She felt almost in a trance, and his voice, almost like a chant...as she focused on the words he was saying, it struck her how similar they were to wedding vows. A silly thought, she mused. Raven mentally shook herself, breaking free of the trance-like state she was in, and brought her back to reality.

"Will you, Raven Roth, vow to fight all Darkness and defend that which is of the Light?"

Her eyes never left the rope around their hands. Her empathic powers identified the Auror Moody and his unyielding distrust and paranoia. Mad-Eye doubted her motives and couldn't wait for an excuse to trap the new girl into something incriminating...he thrived on pulling threads. His magical eye acted as a physical representation of what Raven could read in his heart...a constant search for evil around him. Yet he never directed that damning gaze in the direction of true Darkness...he was too preoccupied trying to rat out a teammate, convinced there was a source of evil within the organization. He never truly trusted anybody, and to those few that stood out to him, he was relentless in his pursuit of their destruction, whether they proved themselves innocent or not. Alastor seemed to take it personally if he couldn't condemn them with evidence, and would harbor resentment. He would believe they were hiding the truth, and that he alone would be able to break them. Raven absorbed that paranoia and maliciousness. And turned away from it. "I will." The band's glow intensified until it was almost to bright for Raven to look at...but only for a fraction of a second...and it tightened around their wrists and slowly faded into nothingness.

"Will you, Raven Roth, vow to protect the innocent from harm where feasible and to the best of your abilities?"

The next person her empathy reached was Lupin. There was Darkness within him, yet his soul was the cleanest she'd come across in years. His mind and body were weary, yet he always had a smile on his face. He was the type to put others first, even when he needed someone more than they did. Never a complaint, never a question. He knew his life was unfair, but he did his best to enjoy it anyway. The evil Raven sensed was always present, and he had suffered for it...but he had mastered it. For that he had her respect. Raven didn't even know what this evil was, but the very fact it had nearly destroyed his life yet couldn't break his resolve had earned him her deepest respect. This man was mild-mannered and meek. Many people misunderstand that word, meek. Too often it is used with a negative connotation. The correct meaning is strength under control...humble patience. Raven absorbed that selflessness and meekness. And drew strength from it. "I will."

Again, a translucent ribbon appeared above their hands and wove itself around their wrists, glowed brightly as it tightened, and then faded away.

"Will you, Raven Roth, vow to act as a spy for the Order of the Phoenix?"

Her mind landed on Sirius. He was outwardly one of the most calm at the table...but that calm lay atop a raging hotbed of hatred and disgust. Such a hurt and angry individual he was. So many transgressions against him, whether real or imagined. His life certainly hadn't been a bed of roses...at least as of late, Raven could sense. So much blame and frustration within a troubled soul. The world had done him wrong, and Sirius was not about to forgive. He laughed things off, but never forgot. A cruel streak lay not-so-dormant within him, masked by the prankster. Humor wasn't just his defense mechanism - it was his mask to hide the mean. Revenge...it was almost what kept him going, it seemed to her. Although revenge against who and for what, she couldn't even begin to guess. The world, maybe? Raven absorbed that hatred and vulnerability. And denied it. "I will."

Another band appeared, glowed, and faded.

"Will you, Raven Roth, vow to serve the Order of the Phoenix and answer to its head?"

Her powers turned to Snape. The man who had so vehemently attacked Albus for the mere notion of asking her to spy was sitting quite numbly through the entire proceedings. His pain was almost palpable, though the cause was unknown to her, save for the fact it stemmed from the elderly wizard currently holding her hand. What could the Headmaster possibly have done to shake him this badly? Whatever transpired in the kitchen between the two of them had had a profound effect on the Slytherin...something Raven would never have expected from such a reserved and strong individual. It was obvious to the empath that whatever Snape said about him, he viewed the Headmaster akin to a father figure. And so it only made sense that any offense by Albus would strike more deeply with the young man. Still, whatever affection he had had for Dumbledore was shot into a million pieces. The empty shell that sat at the table was deep in...not shock, he was too cynical to be taken by surprise...closer to anguished confirmation and loss of hope. There was a flicker of life at the Headmaster's latest line, but it quickly died. The one man who'd taken him in and made him believe there was still a chance for redemption...the one soul who had taken care of him and made him useful...had betrayed him. The despair and anguish was consuming. Raven absorbed that gut-wrenching pain. And swallowed it.

In one movement, her eyes swept to meet his. Snape's eyes met hers blankly. The sorceress didn't know why she did it, but she felt compelled to meet his stare. Nothing was exchanged between them, but a moment was shared. She blinked and her eyes were now staring into the blue orbs behind half-moon glasses. Raven met Dumbledore's gaze unwavering, and spoke one word.

"No."

The room gasped as three ribbons appeared around their hands and burst into purple flames.


He slowly floated upwards, rising to the surface of a black lake as deep as the ocean. She had just defied the most powerful wizard in the world by saying one word. It was difficult for Severus to feel anything at the moment, but he couldn't help the burning embers of vindictive justice flaring to life.

Mad-Eye Moody flew to his feet. "WHAT?"

Albus Dumbledore waved a hand and silenced the room, but the auror remained standing. The older wizard had recovered gracefully from the turn of events in a matter of milliseconds. To anyone looking, the headmaster didn't react even a bit. But in reality, the elderly wizard's heart nearly skipped a beat when Raven told him no, and Snape knew it. Having lived as long as he had, Albus was accustom to adapting when things didn't go exactly as planned. But he weasn't about to give up 'Plan A' without a fight...or subtle prodding.

"My dear, it is necessary to agree to all conditions of the oath. No member is admitted to the organization without swearing allegience to the Order."

Up until now (or twenty minutes ago), the hook-nosed Slytherin had underestimated...or turned a blind eye to...the extent Dumbledore would go to in order to fulfill his master plan. Snape's penetrating eyes flicked back to the cloaked sorceress. Why was she doing this? Were her powers insightful enough to alert her to what he was trying to do? Whatever the reason, Snape was relishing this rare moment of Albus' plans being thwarted right in front of him. He only hoped the girl would be smart and strong enough to hold out...if not for her own good, than for his entertainment.


Raven raised a derisive eyebrow. "You mean no member is admitted without swearing allegience to you."

Dumbledore sighed heavily. "Miss Roth, back in my office yesterday, you vowed to work for the Light - "

"I've merely refused to be soley accountable to you...how does that counteract my promise?"

"Raven," the headmaster closed his eyes with a long-suffering furrow of his brows, "Every soul you see here has stood before me and taken the Unbreakable Vow, and the few that have not will do so shortly. This is nothing new. I'm asking you to do this. For me. For all of us. Without your sworn obedience, I cannot let you into the Order of the Phoenix."

The empath shrugged indifferently. "Then it seems I won't be joining."

Moody growled menacingly, "If we cannot trust her in this, we cannot trust her at all!" He pointed an accusing finger at the sorceress. "She should never have been brought here...our entire alliance has been put in jeopardy."

"Alastor, please!" Dumbledore snapped. The bearded old man turned back to Raven. "You'll forgive me, my dear. In this day and age, we can never be too careful, and I'm afraid experience has taught me not to take chances in things as important as this. You mustn't take this personally, you understand, but I am responsible for all these lives...I cannot afford an asset I cannot monitor."

"Let's not mix words and meanings, Headmaster," Raven replied with ease, "You mean control."

Something in Dumbledore's eyes hardened at her response. "I am the head of the Order of the Phoenix - the only organized resistance against the greatest evil to threaten the world since Grindelwald and perhaps your father." Members in the room shot each other looks at this revelation, and Raven's eyes turned to steel. "And as such, I am burdened with the tasks of both running a school and running a war."

"With all due respect, Headmaster, you've lost the capacity for trust. You demand it from everyone around you, yet you give none. I fail to see the checks and balances of this organization...If I may ask, without appearing subversive, who 'monitors' you?"

"All right, that's enough!" This time it was Sirius who had shot to his feet in protest. "Our organization runs quite smoothly under his command, and we have no complaints about his leadership! You don't know anything about us! You have no right to come in here at Dumbledore's request and then try to start a coup!"

The room descended into chaos at his remark, each one trying to shout over the next to be heard and nearly everyone rising from their chairs. The members were arguing amongst themselves, and rarely was a yell directed at Raven. She felt small and overwhelmed by all the ruckus and wanted nothing more than to teleport to the Hogwarts library...or any place other than here. She closed her eyes and blocked out the hullabaloo around her, focusing on her center.

Raven's momentary meditation was interrupted by the sound of howling. She was astonished when she looked up and saw a whispy, silver wolf floating above the table with its head tilted back, its jaws open and producing a loud howl. The ghostly figure succeeded in quieting the room, and every face turned to Remus Lupin, still sitting calmly in his chair with his wand pointed upward. The unassuming man flipped the wand down and stashed it up his sleeve in one graceful movement. "Well," he said once all the voices had silenced, "Now that I have your attention. Harry would like to speak."

The Boy Who Lived became the center of attention, standing in front of his chair in the rear of the room between Ron and Hermione. The black-haired boy swallowed his anxiety after clearing his throat and nervously glanced about the room, being careful to avoid the cloaked girl in the front. "I, uh, just wanted to say that..." he shifted his weight uncomfortably. No matter how many times he'd gone up against Voldemort or risked his life, he'd never get used to public speaking. "Well that, um, Raven seems to be a good ally. I trust her, and I think that we should at least give her a chance to prove herself. I think most of us are forgetting that she's doing us a great service...isn't it a bit rude to question her since she's going out of her way to help us?"

"My boy," Dumbledore answered, "She asked for sanctuary at Hogwarts, and I am giving it to her...don't make the mistake in assuming I'm not providing anything for her."

"But...so was service in the Order a stipulation you gave prior to giving her asylum?"

The headmaster stood a little bit taller. "It was not a condition for giving her sanctuary, howev - "

"So you're saying, Professor Dumbledore," Harry interrupted, "that you agreed to let her stay at Hogwarts, but now you're insinuating that it was done to compensate for her membership to the Order? Basically obligating her. Isn't that a little underhanded of you, Professor?"

Hermione gasped, "Harry! Watch your tongue!"

"I'm just saying," he spoke hurridly, as if to supplement his remarks, "Let's not make her join if she doesn't want to...why can't we just be grateful and accept the help she will give us?"

There was a pause after his little speech, each adult looking among themselves, presumably trying to come up with a response. A voice broke the silence. "And I second the notion," Lupin said.

"Remus!" Albus hissed. Taking a steadying breath, Dumbledore addressed the room. "I am not some ogre demanding unquestioning obedience. I can certainly take into account the opinion of my fellow members. It seems quite clear how you feel." The elderly wizard flicked a piece of lint off his sleeve. "Of course I am unspeakably grateful for Raven's pledge of assistance, and because she seems to feel so vehemently against this organization, I'm more than willing to allow her to remain a free agent, despite the possibility of - not disloyalty - but misdirected support. I hope in time all of you will come to see that I'm no tyrant."

"Aw, now Albus, none of us think - " piped up Tonks, but the headmaster cut her off with a hand.

"Actions, Dora, actions," Dumbledore stated. Turning his attention to his newest problem, he changed the subject. "Welcome to the side of the Light, Raven. It seems I've been given no alternative but to put my, and this organization's, trust in you. You've chosen a difficult path...but I shall endeavor to treat you like I would if you were a full member. There will be some differences, naturally, but we'll cross those bridges when we come to them." The headmaster removed his half-moon glasses and began cleaning them, rubbing the lenses between a patch of his robes as he spoke. "I'm rethinking the position I had in mind for you...I'm leaning towards placing you in a reserve position. Perhaps use your abnormal abilities in a defensive capacity and put you on one of our disaster response teams."

Raven couldn't help but smirk, though it lacked humor. "What happened to assigning me as Professor Snape's ally behind enemy lines?"

"I cannot and will not place Severus' life at risk by relying soley on the precondition that you're entirely trustworthy. You're a wildcard, my dear. I hope you understand that."

"Send the help where it's needed, sir. Anything less and there's no purpose for my presence at all. I understand your lack of faith...and quite frankly, I commend you for it. I do not wish to disrupt your organization, so if that'll be all, I'll be on my way." The stoic sorceress bowed her head slightly and began walking to the double doors. The eyes of the Order followed her in shock. She made it halfway past the table when a gentle hand caught her arm. It stopped her from leaving, but it didn't stir any emotion in her...she was ambivalent on the matter.

Lupin didn't smile, but there was warmth in his eyes. "Raven, please forgive a cynical organization that's seen its share of treachory. We would like your help." Remus looked at the headmaster. "Sir, simply speaking from an objective point of view, our only spy needs assistance. This woman seems capable, and I think it should be up to Severus to decide whether to entrust his life to her or not."

Dumbledore sighed heavily. A beat. "Severus?"

Alastor Moody slammed his fist on the table. "Damn it, Albus! You're not seriously considering leaving the decision up to him! A questionable member admitting another questionable member would be the heights of stupidity! Constant vigilance, Albus!"

Somebody mumbled something suspiciously close to "There he goes again," which only set Mad-Eye off on a tangent.

"You think I'm wrong?! Since when have I been wrong! If you never take my advice again, I demand that you do so now! She's possessed by the dark; you said it yourself! You say she's in control of it, but how are we to know she doesn't follow it. And why is she so eager to fill our spying position? You said she's already made contact with the ferret boy! Who knows what was exchanged. I think the main thing we need to establish is how friendly she is to Evil. The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree...Like father like daughter." He turned his wild eyes to the demoness. "So tell us, my dear lady Apate," he smiled nastily, "where exactly your loyalties are, Miss Raven Ro - "

He was cut off by the air rushing out of his lungs as he was blasted by a dark energy force, his chair toppling backwards. She had moved so quickly, no one had time to react. In an instant, she was towering over his prone form, her livid countenance inches from his shocked face.

"Don't you dare question my loyalties, Moody," she snarled at him in a deadly whisper. It was all Alastor could do just to keep breathing...He thought his magical eye saw something...or maybe it was his regular one. Was it his imagination, or were there four red specks behind her eyes?

"Mark this well, sir; it would not do for you to forget your position, or what I've suffered at the hands of Evil: I chose my allegiance long ago. I will fight for, kill for, and die for the Light, for my friends, your family, and yes, even for you. My loyalties will not waver regardless of what is offered me, given me, or taken from me. Do you understand!?"

It was all Moody could do to nod, and make some inarticulate sound of ascent in his throat.

Raven moved away from him, eyes still smoldering with suppressed fire. Her cloak rippled unnaturally around her, though there was no wind to cause it. "This meeting is over," she declared, white glowing eyes locked with his.

All were on their feet in awe and intimidation. At the front of the room, a bearded old wizard went back to the drawing board. In the back, a green-eyed Gryffindor began to comprehend how powerful his new ally was. Closest to the door, a werewolf sensed a strong woman and potential for a deep and equal friendship. On the other side of the table, a black-haired man smirked with a dawning respect.

Raven made it almost to the darkened hallway that led out of the building before Sirius caught up with her. "Whoa whoa whoa, girl!" he called after her. "You can't just whip Mad-Eye Moody's gnarly old ass and then run away! ...at least, not without signing autographs first." He caught her shoulder with a hand. "Don't pay him any mind, hun. He's a paranoid old bastard who looks for any excuse to lynch somebody who rubs him wrong." By now he had stepped in front of her and had one hand on each shoulder. The sorceress initially resisted the physical contact, but the more he spoke, the more she grew stable from the grounding pressure. It made her think more clearly and get ahold of her dangerous emotions. "Please," he spoke quietly, searching her violet eyes imploringly, "Give us a chance. I'll personally guarantee Mad-Eye never spouts another stupid thing at you again...scout's honor," he added, holding up his right hand in a pledge.

By now, several Order members had filtered into the room, having gotten over their shocked paralysis. Dumbledore stood in the middle of the room. "I believe," he spoke grandly, "I was asking Severus if he'd like a new partner." The room turned to look at Snape, who had just melted into the room and obviously was trying to remain unnoticed. He looked like a deer in the headlights. "You realize of course, my boy, you would have to mentor and train her in the ways of the cloak and dagger. Keep your eye on her to make sure she's all right and becomes ingrained in the Death Eaters smoothly and without suspicion."

Snape tilted his head in a small bow. "By your leave, Headmaster," he answered with a sneer.

"Then that's settled," Dumbledore announced cheerfully. "She will meet with you in the evenings after classes each - "

"EEEUUAAGH!"

Heads whipped to the source of the noise. Hermione shrieked in response. "KREATURE!"

Raven's hands were glowing with black energy, her eyes wide as saucers, staring at the quivering mass before her.

"Professor Dumbledore!" Hermione squeaked, "She kicked him! I saw it!"

"It's a he?" Raven asked, still eyeing the wrinkled, brown fleshy pile while trying to regulate her breathing. "I'm sorry, but it came out of nowhere...What is it?"

"Oh Circe," Dumbledore breathed. "He heard. He knows."

The empath frowned. "What do you mean?"

Lupin stepped forward to answer for Albus. "He's a house elf. And he's still devoted to Bellatrix Lestrange, a notorious Death Eater...he overheard this information, and it will soon be relayed to Voldemort." Members in the room flinched at both the forbidden name and the news. Snape was already gone.

"So just wipe his memory...I know you have a spell for that," Raven offered.

Remus was already shaking his head by the time she'd finished. "I'm afraid that doesn't work on house elves...they have their own brand of magic."

Kreature had pushed himself onto his hands and knobbly knees. He lifted his ill-proportioned head and glared at the cloaked girl with all the venom he could muster. "My Mistress will hear about this decadence! Filthy half-breed thinks she can trick the Dark Master...she'll think again once Kreature tells the Mistress." He lifted his hand and - the members lunged forward to grab him but they were too late to stop him from snapping his fingers. The wrinkled elf vanished out of existance with a pop.

Lupin struck his leg with a painfully strong fist. "F#ck!" exclaimed the normally mild-mannered professor.

Raven looked between the horror-stricken faces. "If he's that important..." she muttered. The sorceress knelt down on her knees and shot her arm down and through the floor, reaching around for something. "Gotchya," she finally said neutrally, pulling the stunned house elf up from out of the floor. Kreature stared in shock and fright. "I'm sorry, but you possess information you were never meant to have."

The wretched elf wrestled as violently as he could to get free from her grasp, frightened out of his mind. "OOH SHE IS EVIL! SHE COME FROM DARKNESS BORN OF EVIL! MISTRESS SAVE ME FROM HER MORE POWERFUL THAN HOUSE ELF MAGIC!"

Kreature continued screaming and writhing in her grip. His efforts redoubled when Raven met and held his gaze...no matter how hard he tried to wrench his buggy eyes from hers, he was unable to do so. Her pupils dissolved into a glowing white, and a figure of a black bird shot out of her head and into his. A moment went by when both parties were motionless and silent, the rest of the room watching in, what was at first shock and amazement, now awe.

As soon as it started, it was over, and Raven's soul self was back in her body. Kreature slumped to the ground and crawled away, a dazed look on his face. "He won't remember a thing, Headmaster."

Dumbledore seemed to shake himself out of whatever reverie he had been in. "Yes, thank you, my dear. That was...most impressive. And it saved this entire arrangement. I can see how indespensible you'll be in no time." Albus looked around the room. "Well now, I think it's time we best be returning to our respective homes and responsibilities. We'll be in touch."

He turned and walked back into the dining room and the group began saying their goodbyes. Raven was surprised by the number of members that approached her and either shook her hand or offered a farewell and a welcome to the effort. Snape was nowhere to be seen...he'd slipped out the door unnoticed immediately following the dismissal. Raven was pleasantly surprised when the Golden Trio and Ginny asked her to join them as they went back to Hogwarts. The five of them strolled down Grimmald Place until they were a safe distance away.

"So, what all can you do?" Ginny asked.

"Does anybody else knows about your powers?" Ron followed up.

"No," Raven answered Ron, "And I hope to keep it that way...the less publicity, the better."

Harry nodded in agreement. "I know what you mean. Makes moving around much easier."

Hermione stopped the group. "All right, we're going to have to split up in order to Side-Along Apparate. I could take you, Raven, since I was top in my certification class. I've never splinched once!" She noticed Raven's apprehension.

"If it's all right with you, I could simply teleport us."

"Are you serious, mate? That is so cool!" Ron said excitedly. The rest of the group gathered around the newest celebrity and assured her of their eager consent. Even Hermione reluctantly agreed to give it a try.

"All right," Raven said as she stretched out her arms and her eyes glowed white, "Breathe normally." With that, she swirled her blue robe up in an arc over all five of them, creating a black energy blanket that covered and swallowed them up into the ground.


A/N: Apate is the Greek goddess of deceit.