Chapter 20 - I Say There is No Darkness
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Raven Roth had many faults, but she was at heart, a fair person. And reasonably honest.
Once she had reached the Gryffindor common room, ignoring the Fat Lady and simply walking through the portrait amidst her shrieks, she had settled on one of the overstuffed crimson couches. The fire in the hearth was wild and unstable. A drastic contrast from the cool, detached girl who sat staring into it. She allowed herself to revisit the conversation between herself and Snape, relatively certain she had calmed whatever storm had awakened in her mind.
Upon reflecting, she realised that she didn't feel as angry at Snape as she was telling herself she did. In fact, he had almost been nice to her before his turnaround. Mind you, she reflected, it's not like he had much choice in the matter. He was rather stuck with me.
Sympathy? After how he treated me? She must be losing her mind. What was that thing when captives fell in love with their captors? Stockholm Syndrome, people called it. Except that I'm not his captive. And I most certainly am NOT falling in love with him.
Although, he hadn't had to try to make her feel more comfortable, or give her that potion to make her feel better. That had been quite – kind – really. And kind was not a word you used about Severus Snape.
She sighed and rubbed her eyes. Didn't she herself admit he used sarcasm and biting attacks as self-defense? When he felt threatened or uncomfortable, she had discovered his methods of distancing himself from people. He had covered up his compassionate concern with a hurtful attack, but she had responded to the kind gesture...and that had thrown him. Then the next time he was covering up his discomfort, he lashed out again...and she'd taken it personally. How could she be upset with him after she had already discovered the reason for his attacks?
Is that it, Raven? Blindly overlook his atrocious behavior simply because you understand the reasons for it? Because you're equally as guilty? You can't rewrite who he is just because you want to like him.
Did she want to like him?
Her ruminations were cut short by Hermione entering the common room with a pile of books and scrolls in her arms, and a bulging book bag slung around her shoulder. The bushy-haired Gryffindor seemed surprised to find her there, but continued setting her study materials on one of the tables near the window.
The sorceress didn't know what the best course of action was...should she break the silence? Greet her?
It turned out she didn't need to, for the Gryffindor did it herself. "Would this be a good time for your tutoring?"
Deciding that a distraction was what she needed, Raven nodded and heaved herself up from the couch, making her way over to the table.
"I figured we could start with Ancient Runes, since our first class is in the morning. These," she grunted, hauling an armful of thick textbooks onto the table and letting them slam in front of the empath, "are the first six volumes of Runes. I hardly expect you to read them all before tomorrow, but they'll come in handy when you have to look up material we've already covered."
"May I borrow them?"
Hermione smiled, somewhat aloof. "Keep them as long as you like. I have no use for them."
Raven thanked her with a tight smile. "No need...I'll only need a few minutes."
The brunette gave her an odd look as the sorceress stood up and walked to the center of the common room. Raven summoned the six textbooks to float around her at shoulder height. As she closed her eyes, the books began to slowly spin around her, like planets orbiting their sun. When her eyes opened a moment later, they were white and unseeing. "Nekrenahm Hezberel Mortix," she chanted monotonously.
A bright green energy sparked and jumped like electricity from each tome circling her. Each current of energy crackled and flashed, joining into an orb of energy directly over her head and forming a sort of umbrella above her. "Hezberek, Edmorenae, Ostwenthen-verbis-nep, Inodrium Espenderae, Aransekortus-REX!"
At once, a surge of power erupted from the floating orb and grounded itself into Raven's chakra, green energy flowing rapidly into her forehead. Within seconds, all the information contained in the six books had been copied into her long-term memory.
As the books floated back to the table, encased in Raven's signature black energy, Hermione stood. "What was that?"
"An absorbtion spell."
The Gryffindor crossed her arms. "You mean you know everything in those books now?"
The demoness nodded cautiously, suddenly sensing her companion's anger.
"So that's it, then, is it? You just say a few spells and suddenly all knowledge is yours." Her tone was clearly more than irritated. "How wonderful it must be to be you," she spat.
Raven didn't know how it had gotten to this, or how to react. She chose to stay quiet...her usual tactic when confronting an unknown. But she did have to restrain a snort at her last comment.
Hermione continued in a low, unmistakably furious voice. "I have to earn my knowledge! I have to work hard for it! It takes a lot of studying to get the title of 'smartest student at Hogwarts,' and believe me I've lost many friends and opportunities sacrificing my time and effort for it." Her voice was shaking a little now.
The empath finally understood.
"I have to read and study and work for hours on end! And you just waltz in here and snap your fingers and know everything I do? This is bullshit!"
Raven remained silent. She couldn't help but be reminded of a similar scene that had taken place between herself and Terra years earlier.
"Why don't you trust me?" she'd asked.
"Because you don't deserve it! I have to meditate every day to keep my powers under control...and I'm supposed to believe you can suddenly control yours? Trust is something you have to earn!"
Terra didn't earn her powers...didn't deserve them...because there was no sacrifice on her part. Raven had felt both jealousy and indignation on that point. Why should Terra be so universally-liked and accepted when she didn't do anything to deserve it?
Snape's voice suddenly entered her head. "I wanted respect. I couldn't get that simply for being who I was," - like Terra, Raven thought bitterly.
She shook her head. At least she understood where Hermione was coming from. Since entering the Wizarding world, she had been met with mostly acceptance...and while she didn't delude herself by thinking she was liked by everyone, she hadn't been shunned like she was used to. Raven was, in a very small way, Hermione's Terra.
"I understand how you feel," Raven offered. "But trust me when I tell you that I paid...still pay...for this priviledge in other ways."
"Whatever." She turned on her heel and began gathering up her books and dumping them into her tote bag. Raven's left hand twitched. "It's obvious you have no need for a tutor, so I guess I'll see you in class."
Half of the empath wanted to just be rid of her. The other half didn't want to leave it like this. "That doesn't mean I wouldn't like a tutor. There is plenty of brainstorming and ideas not covered in the book that we could share."
"Oh right!" Hermione snarled, jamming her parchment into the bag. "Steal my ideas, too! Well, you can easily do that by sucking them out of my head like I know you can!"
The sorceress felt her peripheral vision shutting down and her blood pressure rising. "I do not steal people's ideas...and I most certainly do NOT rape people's minds for the fun of it!"
"Go ahead! I know you need another chance to make everybody like you!"
Raven barked out a harsh laugh, her breathing irregular. "You think that's what this is all about? Grow up. I have bigger things to concern myself with than a popularity contest!"
"Of course! I almost forgot!" Hermione snapped, whirling back to face her as she ascended the stairs. "Miss Mysterious Wonder Girl gets all the dangerous and important missions because she's SPECIAL."
"You're welcome to take my job...and everything that goes with it!"
"Girls, girls!" The Scottish brogue of Professor McGonogall cut through their argument. "Hermione, I think it best if you returned to the dorms immediately."
Miss Granger fumed for a moment, almost protesting her dismissal. But she thought better of it, and tramped up the stairs. Raven took this time to breathe heavily and deeply, mentally restoring equillibrium to her soul and vaporizing any remaining emotion. She had been close. Close to losing control. Twice in a week...this is bad.
The Gryffindor Head of House had entered through the portrait unbeknownst to the both of them...the sorceress had felt a shift in the air once Minerva had arrived, but was too preoccupied with battling her emotions to notice. Now, though, the Scotswoman approached her and sat her down on one of the overstuffed, crimson couches.
"Raven," Minerva turned to her kindly. "I'm sorry for what happened. I hope you understand that people are people, no matter where you go. And things like this are bound to happen."
The stoic empath nodded, electing to remain silent.
"If you need to talk to someone, my office is always open."
Again, the sorceress nodded.
McGonogall seemed disinclined to leave. They sat there for a moment, neither talking or moving, until the older woman spoke again. "Albus told me about your reluctance to join the Order," she said inquiringly.
"I didn't know you were a member, professor," Raven responded.
The tartan-clad Scotswoman shook her head. "I'm not, but I am Deputy Headmistress and one of Albus' closest friend and confidants. I don't think you're a threat, dear, but I am the head of Gryffindor House, and responsible for all the students in the school. I would be neglect in my duties if I didn't address this concern."
Raven stiffened a little.
"You are an emotional being, Miss Roth, whether you accept this fact or not. It is regrettable, therefore, that such destructive power is intertwined with them. I cannot even begin to imagine what a burden that must be on such a young girl. The episode you just experienced with Miss Granger is surely not the first of its kind. And, unfortunately, it will probably not be the last. I want to know what I can do, if anything, that will make living at Hogwarts easier for you."
The demoness made a tight, emotionless smile. "You and the headmaster share a tendency to hide your real meaning. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were Slytherin."
McGonogall frowned as though insulted, but Raven continued. "You want to know how to make the students safer from me. I wouldn't have been offended if you'd simply said so."
The Head of Gryffindor sputtered in a vain attempt to deny the observation.
"There is something that can be done, professor. If it isn't too much trouble, I could make much use of a private room. I hope not to cause any inconvenience or presume too much...Hogwarts has already been more hospitible than I deserve."
"Nonsense!" the grey-haired witch declared. "I shall assign you to some spare chambers immediately."
Raven raised an eyebrow. "I thought all the rooms were taken."
"Student rooms are full, yes. But there is an extra set of teacher's chambers we keep on hand. Albus must have wanted to integrate you into student life."
The younger sorceress rolled her eyes skeptically, taking care not to let the Transfiguration professor notice. The two of them exited the Gryffindor common room and made their way down a long corridor, up some stairs, and finally to a hallway. One side of the corridor was lined with doors, while the other wasn't a wall at all, but a stone railing overlooking the maze of moving staircases below. They were at least five stories up, and looking over the banister sent a feeling of vertigo up the normally-unflappable, flying empath.
"This shall be your room for the foreseeable future," McGonogall announced, stopping at a door near the end of the hall. "For now, there are just basic wards to keep students out, but I can remove them for you," she said, raising her wand.
"No, no," Raven cut in, "I'd prefer them to remain. I believe I can bypass them."
"Oh, very well then. I'll leave you to it. If you would want some company, or an ear to talk to, my offer still stands. I've known Severus ever since he first arrived at Hogwarts when he was eleven, and Lord knows he isn't the easiest person to get along with. If you'd like some advice, I'm always available."
The sorceress schooled her expression to remain impassive, ignoring the sudden jump in her stomach at his name. "Thank you, professor. I don't think he'll prove to be much of a problem."
Minerva gave her a wry, grin before she turned to leave. Once the Scotswoman had disappeared from view, Raven phazed through the door with no trouble from the wards and went about exploring her new home.
The better part of the next morning was spent in Ancient Runes as far away from Hermione as Raven could sit. Harry and Ron were absent from such an elevated class, since they didn't need Runes for the Auror program, and so Raven was forced to sit with students she'd never met. The class comprised of mostly Ravenclaws, with a few Slytherins, and one or two Gryffindors, including Hermione.
Professor Montegue Waldstein was a less than imposing man, with a remarkably narrow nose and beady eyes. His sandy hair simply refused to stay combed over, and that attributed for the countless times he paused in his lecture to sweep the locks out of his face. His robes were a size or two larger than necessary, which accounted for the multiple times he tripped over their excess length. All in all, Professor Waldstein was entertaining in and of himself, but he knew his runes. Raven had to give him that.
And she was enormously relieved that she had such a spell like the Absorbtion spell at hand, for he didn't give her any leeway in his quizzing. He didn't even know that she'd never attended a Runes class before. The material she learned from the textbooks the night before were merely the building blocks that Montegue extrapolated from. Had she not had the basics under her belt, she would never have been able to follow his reasoning, interpretations, and hypothetical theories.
Before long, she was wrapped up in the content of the class and almost forgot entirely about the miffed Head Girl on the other side of the room. By the time the bell rang, Raven was in what could almost be described as a good mood. Her mind was stimulated, and she was actually looking forward to the assigned homework. Her mood lifted even further when she realized that Hermione wasn't taking Care of Magical Creatures class.
Not wanting to draw attention to herself in front of the entire student population, Raven followed a group of Hufflepuffs out of the castle and down onto the Hogwarts grounds on foot. What had started out to be curious anticipation, quickly turned into bored apathy as the class progressed. This Hagrid person was enormous and inept...he may have known about Horklumps, but he did very little to keep the pupils interested in the subject.
The professor's stuttering speech and thick, uncultured accent made Raven even less inclined to strain herself by listening, and soon found her mind wandering. It wasn't long before her throughts turned to her next...class. She steadfastly refused to consider it anything more than just another class on her schedule. All the same, she couldn't get rid of the anxious feeling inside her.
So wrapped up in her thoughts was she, that the empath didn't even register the change of subjects. Professor Hagrid had led them away from the Huorklumps and to a fenced pen area.
"Now," the half-giant boomed cheerfully, blissfully unaware of the lack of interest from his students, "Can anyone tell me wha' a Nunda is?"
No one answered, until an African boy in Hufflepuff robes slowly raised his hand, his eyes wide. "It's...it's," he stammered nervously, "It's a Mngwa! De devil o' Tanziania!"
Hagrid frowned at the description. "Aye, highly misundar-stood creetures, Nundas. They're giant cats! As big as donkeys, some of 'em. Closes' family member would be the leopard, in tarms of markings and appearance. 'Cept they're gray and much larger...an' considered to be much more ferocious. I 'appen ta have one wit me now! If everybody would jus' step closer to tha' fence, you should be able ta get a good look at 'er. Not too close, mind ye! She's killed over three dozen villagers back in Africa!"
The fenced area resembled a zoo exhibit...a cave, several trees, and lots of boulders for the captive animal. The students were reluctant to approach the wooden fence. The barrier between the caged feline was 8 feet tall, but had slots between the wooden boards to peer inside.
When no such monster appeared, the students slowly inched their way to the fence. Still, no giant cat could be seen. Moments turned into minutes, and still no Nunda. The class began to get bored. Hagrid pulled out a raw steak from one of his many pockets and tossed it over the fence in hopes of luring the feline into the open. No dice.
Finally, in a desperate and foolhardy attempt to redeem himself, Hagrid himself entered the compound, staying close to the gate in case he needed to make a hasty exit. "Here, kitteh kitteh kitteh!" he cooed. Some of the students sniggered when the half-giant made kissing sounds to call the cat.
After nearly five minutes of Hagrid calling the Nunda with no luck, he shamefacedly turned back to the gate.
And that's when it happened.
Before any of the students could shout a warning, or even blink, the great cat burst from behind a nearby rock and charged. Its speed was inconceivable, and it was upon Hagrid before he even knew something was approaching him. But it didn't tear into the half-giant. It didn't even attack him. Instead, it used the giant as a stepping stone as it leaped onto his back and vaulted over the 8 foot fence.
Hufflepuffs were screaming in terror as the deadly Nunda landed on all four paws amongst them, snarling with a wildcat's signature screech. The Mngwa had ignored the bumbling half-giant in favor of attacking a dozen schoolchildren.
With a swipe of its paws, the feline took down a Hufflepuff girl with its razor sharp claws, then pounced on a Gryffindor boy. Just as its massive fangs were closing in on the boy's head, the entire animal was encased in an eery black force field and thrown off the student, hurtling into the wooden fence and collapsing on the ground.
Hagrid was through the gate by now, and running to the beast, intending to pick it up and toss it back over the fence. But the Nunda recovered from its shock too quickly and darted away from the professor.
Spotting a group of fleeing Hufflepuffs, it dashed after them.
The screams of the teenagers turned frantic as they looked back and saw the massive animal catching up to them like they were standing still. On the final leap, the cat was lifted into the air by another black force field and simply held there, thrashing madly in the intangible constraints. It's growls and screeches sent shivers up everyone's spine.
Without hesitating any further, Raven closed her open hand into a fist, and the wildcat's screams were suddenly silenced. Here eyes stopped glowing white, and the Nunda's lifeless body crumpled to the ground.
As Hagrid and the rest of the students stood in shock, the sorceress ran to the fallen Hufflepuff girl, whose arm was bleeding severely. She was still alive, but had passed out, either from blood loss or fright. Raven knelt down and chanted in her mysterious language as she hovered her hand over the deep gashes in her arm. Several moments later, the wounds were closed and healed.
She moved on to the Gryffindor boy, who had been moments way from being decapitated. The poor lad was shaking uncontrollably, his breathing irregular and his face pale. The empath waved her hand over his body, analyzing his injuries. She sighed in relief when it told her only several ribs had been fractured...an easy fix. She sat on her knees next to him. The boy grunted in pain as the bones realligned themselves under Raven's chanting. His face smoothed out once the shimmering light surrounding her hand sunk into his body, filling his entire being with a sense of peace and safety.
Hagrid lumbered over, still a bit dazed. The demoness stood as the professor neared her. "This one needs a blood transfusion," Raven said calmly, pointing to the girl. "This one needs rest," she pointed to the boy before her. "And everyone else," she added, waving a hand to indicate the entire class, "needs a responsible teacher," she bit out, her harsh tone belying her calm exterior.
The half-giant's chin quivvered as he bent down and scooped up the boy in his arms. Hagrid sniffed loudly as he turned back to the class, rumbling "Class dismissed" in an unsteady voice. He turned to the girl, but saw she was already floating in the air, supported by Raven's black energy. "You can bring 'er to the Infirmary wit me."
They progressed up the hill in silence, the sorceress dampening her emotions, and the half-giant sniffling and blubbering into his matted beard.
"She's dead," Hagrid moaned after a minute or two.
The empath looked at the Hufflepuff hovering next to her. "She'll be fine."
The giant shook his head miserably. "No, not 'er. Thank the Lor' fer that... But my princess is dead!"
"Your princess?" Raven raised an eyebrow.
Hagrid merely choked back a sob in response.
The demoness finally understood. "What would have had me do? Lives were at stake."
"You could 'ave jus' put 'er back in 'er cage! You could 'ave jus' knocked 'er out! Did ye have to kill the poor creeture?"
She took a moment, trying to phrase it in the nicest, gentelest way possible. "Yes, I did." To hell with being gentle. "Do you think that thing would've had a change of heart if I'd simply locked it back up? It would have found a way to get out and kill again. That thing should never have been brought here."
Hagrid moaned in grief again.
Raven's mood began deteriorating yet again. "You should be fired and put away with reckless endangering of children under your charge. You're lucky that monster didn't kill a student, otherwise you'd also be pinned with manslaughter. You are responsible for the near deaths of all your students, the grave injury of two, and you're sad that your little princess was put down before it actually succeeded in killing them?"
That sobered him up. His grief turned to fear and shame.
The rest of the journey to the hospital wing was filled with the mumblings of Hagrid and Raven's silent mantra to keep control.
Once inside the Infirmary, Madam Pomfrey took over with a fervor. The games keeper Summoned the headmaster as soon as the two students were in beds. The two men talked privately for awhile at the end of the room beneath a Privacy Charm while Raven relayed the medical needs of the students to Poppy.
The next thing she knew, Dumbledore had drawn her aside and Hagrid was no longer in the room. "Raven," the elderly wizard said with a hand on her shoulder, "I want to offer my deepest thanks for protecting the students today. I am certain that had you not been there, the injuries would be much more numerous and serious."
"I did what was needed, Headmaster," Raven said coolly.
"Indeed you did, my dear. If it weren't for your quick actions, I would hate to see how many would have been admitted to this room. I would like to award you with a Special Award for Services to the School...a golden plaque that would remain in the trophy room of Hogwarts."
Raven was already shaking her head. "No, thank you Headmaster. I appreciate the sentiments, but I'd rather not stick out in a crowd more than I already do."
Dumbledore nodded. "Then I shall leave you to your studies. Hogwarts owes you its gratitude."
By dinner, it was obvious the news had spread to every corner of the castle. Students either stared at her in awe and fear, or outright ignored her alltogether, talking behind their hands about her when they though she wasn't looking. This, she could handle. This was high school all over again, but she'd endured. She could endure this.
Even the teachers at the high table glanced at her far too often for mere coincidence.
Raven sat at the far end of the Gryffindor table, away from where she had previously sat with the Golden Trio. Once Harry, Ron, and Hermione did enter the Great Hall, though, it was apparent Hermione hadn't told her friends about the spat they'd had the night before. Harry and Ron waved at her, not even giving their old seats a second glance as they trekked down the table to sit next to Raven.
"Heard the news, mate!" Ron exclaimed once they sat down.
"I wish I could've seen it," Harry remarked. "Poor Hagrid, though. I feel so bad for him. This isn't the first time thishas happened to him."
Raven's eyebrows shot up in astonishment.
"I mean not the first time one of his beloved animals has died or been taken from him. The only other time a student was hurt was back in our third year, but that was totally Draco's own fault."
Ron piped up between bites of roasted potato, "Yeah...he brought that on himself! The rotter nearly got Buckbeak killed for it."
"But anyway," Harry continued, "Needless to say, your powers are hardly a secret anymore. You can do what you like, now." The Boy Who Lived smiled at the news...this girl was sort of like him in a way. She didn't fit in - people stared at her and talked about her and treated her differently. Someone who he could relate to. Maybe he would be treated like a normal person if he simply slunk into Raven's shadow. An afterthought. Harry wondered if he was the only person in the world who actually wanted to be overlooked and overshadowed by a celebrity.
"Yay," Raven deadpanned.
"And," Harry lowered his voice, "The next DA meeting will be tomorrow evening at eight. You can meet us in the Gryffindor common room at 7:30 and we'll take you there."
The empath nodded.
"Speaking of 7:30," Hermione spoke up for the first time that evening, "You'd better be on your way. It's already 7:25." Her voice was flat, but it held no anger, Raven noted.
"Thanks. Guess I'll get going then."
"See ya!" Ron and Harry said.
She raised her hood and stood from the table, making her way on foot to the dungeons.
A/N: "I say there is no darkness but ignorance." - Shakespeare
