CHAPTER 23. - THE FOURTH UNFORGIVABLE
*00OO00*
"How did you come to learn of this room?"
Raven hesitated before answering as they walked through the empty corridors of the castle. "One of the students showed it to me."
She didn't miss the slight upturn of his lips in response. "You've been initiated into Dumbledore's Army." His tone was gleefully sarcastic.
"I was under the impression you weren't privy to their secret club."
"Not officially. But it is my job to know what my students are up to. Most of the staff are aware of their little extracurricular activities."
Raven half-smiled. "I believe they would literally soil themselves if they knew you were not only aware of their organization, but knew and do nothing to stop them. You're the devil's own bastard if their claims are to be believed."
Snape's hair curtained his face and he hid it from her. "If I were to interfere with the hours they spend rehearsing for the coming time they'll have to fight for their lives, I truly would be. There are dark times ahead of us, and those children will need to defend themselves. For the past decade, Hogwarts," he sneered, and Raven could instantly infer he actually meant Dumbledore, "has rejected my notion that the students need to be taught what they will actually face."
"Defense Against the Dark Arts," the Sorceress interrupted quietly. "You've always known and tried to move into a position you could actually help them survive one day."
His silence answered her question.
"But why?" Raven asked. "Why would Dumbledore - seemingly the Light's champion and embodiment of hope - refuse to educate and truly prepare his students for the coming war?"
They rounded the final corner and began walking down the long hall that hid the Room of Requirement.
Severus finally met her gaze. "There are a multitude of theories I've formulated over the years. The two that hold the most credibility are that the Headmaster feels I am too indispensable to the Order where I am. There was a curse placed on the Defense teaching position that removes the professor after their first year."
Raven shrugged. "I suppose I could buy that. Although why Dumbledore doesn't simply remove the curse is beyond me. What is the second?"
"That he fears I am too corruptible. My association with Dark Magic began at a very early age and it tainted me while I was still very impressionable. He fears the call of the Darkness will lure me back and corrupt the young minds entrusted to me."
Her eyes narrowed. "I definitely can buy that." Raven continued on nonchalantly, utterly missing the wounded look that momentarily passed through Severus' eyes. "He is much more sinister and distrusting than anyone in the Order gives him credit for."
The tension in Severus' shoulders released.
The Sorceress suddenly realized they'd been standing alone in the corridor this whole time. No door appeared before them. Obviously, she had missed something.
"This is the right hallway, isn't it?"
Snape raised an eyebrow at her. "Come now, didn't your chums explain the process of opening the door?"
The Sorceress shot him an irritated glance.
With a smug grin, the Potions Master channeled his Professor persona and lectured on the proper way of summoning the Room of Requirement. He watched with curiosity and amusement at the fleeting expression of fright that passed over Raven's face as he explained the Room would conjure what the host was in most need of.
Severus briefly wondered what she was afraid to find on the other side of the door and withheld a smirk at the notion that perhaps what this repressed sorceress needed most was a good lay. He would pay money to see her reaction to finding a bed...or other things...inside the Room of Requirement. He wished he could dwell on that entertaining scenario, but he found an irksome flush rising in his cheeks at the mere thought of it.
Snape cleared his throat, hoping Raven would simply attribute his sudden dry mouth to his lecturing, and his red cheeks to... uh, the heat in the hallway. The Slytherin inwardly cursed and forged ahead in his instructions.
When the door finally did open, the Room's contents weren't nearly as provocative as Snape had speculated. There was a cozy fireplace with a meal for two prepared in front of it. However, rather than a table and chairs, the set-up reminded him of old Middle Eastern dining rooms. There were cushions and pillows on the floor with the food so that they could lie down and eat across from one another. The walls looked like tufted headboards with shimmery, buttoned silk. The floor was covered from wall to wall with cushioned Persian rugs, and the ceiling was covered by draping silk blankets. Severus couldn't help but appreciate the exotic beauty of the decor.
It was therefore quite unexpected when Raven took one step inside and began laughing out loud.
Snape stood, looking out of place in his formal black teaching robes, and simply stared at the Demoness, waiting for her laughter to subside.
Raven's uncharacteristic expression of emotion tapered off and she slid her eyes sideways to meet Severus' stare. "No sharp objects."
One side of Snape's lips twitched up in a half smile. "Padded walls."
The girl sighed, though not angrily. "Last chance for you to back out."
Severus raised an eyebrow at her challenge. With a flick of his wrist, his black wand shot into his hand and he raised it up over himself. "Protego."
Raven fought hard not to smile.
The Headmaster sat beside Minerva at the head table as lunch commenced with a peculiar expression...very similar to the face he made when popping his first lemon drop of the day on his tongue. Minerva took note of his distracted appearance.
"Seems my rival Head of House is missing this afternoon, Albus."
McGonagall hid a triumphant gleam as her comment hit home. After all these years, she learned to take pleasure in the small things.
"Is he? I gather he is preparing for the arduous day ahead of him."
"Quite. I do hope he finds the time to eat a little something. Perhaps we should send him a tray of food in his office?"
Dumbledore slid her a warning, sidelong glance.
Minerva continued as though nothing was happening. "Then again, he is a grown boy and can make his own decisions, don't you think Albus?"
The Headmaster's eyes narrowed dangerously. They were both too damn old to play these games.
Raven sat cross-legged opposite Snape on a cushion as she dipped a piece of pita into the shared bowl of hummus. He reclined on an elbow while sipping his hot spice tea, gazing at her appreciatively while she wasn't looking. At some point during their time together, he had given himself permission to let his guard down. It may have had something to do with the fact he couldn't hide anything from her to begin with, but he had finally arrived at a place where he no longer tried. Wanted...? Perhaps a little. Severus doubted he would ever feel fully comfortable being so emotionally transparent with anyone.
Maybe he appreciated the challenge she posed. The Potions Master had always fought a continual state of boredom among his peers, and had his current life (and face) afforded him the opportunity to pursue women, he wondered if he would have ever found one as stimulating. As infuriating. As inspiring. And as utterly confounding, considering her inexplicable - and even still unbelievable - admission that she had feelings for him. It was no small irony then, that the one woman who miraculously returned his feelings was physically incapable of expressing them.
Then again...
He continued regarding her speculatively as she shamelessly piled on more hummus. To be fair, Severus had never seen her true reactions to romance - only fear in response to the Boggart. If she were kept calm enough, just maybe...
He cast his eyes back to his beverage a split second before she leaned back up.
She finished her piece and sighed. "I'm not good at this."
The Slytherin raised an eyebrow. "Eating?"
"In this room, with this company? I guess you could say that."
Severus smirked. "You're not the first my mere presence has lost them their appetite, but if I may point out, this was your idea."
"Self-deprecating jokes aside, I honestly can't say what I was hoping to accomplish with this..."
"...date?" he finished for her.
Raven's face flushed and she began to raise her hood over her head in embarrassment.
But, like the snake of his house, Severus shot a hand out and held her wrist down. He sat up on his knees, still preventing her wrist from shielding her face.
"Hide all you like out there. But in here, we've an understanding."
She met his narrowed eyes with wide open ones, trying to gauge the situation and suddenly aware of how little space was between them. Her voice was almost breathless. "And what do we understand?"
They held each others' gaze for a terrifyingly long moment. The voices inside Raven screamed at her to look away, but she just couldn't.
At last, Severus seemed to find an answer.
"That love is an unforgivable curse."
All rational thought evaporated in Snape's mind. His Death Eater past seemed to erase. His loyalties, his debts, his oaths, his sins...all wiped away and replaced with a single, overpowering need. A need to kiss this woman. Powers be damned. Safety be damned. Whatever would happen will happen - but he could not deny himself this any longer.
He leaned in pressed his lips to hers in one smooth motion.
Raven inhaled sharply and parted her lips in surprise, but that just made the kiss deepen. She closed her eyes, the voices inside her mind suddenly silent. Instead, she focused on how thin his lips were, and how unexpectedly warm they felt. She could tell he was inexperienced, but she had no standing to judge, and simply returned the feeling of urgency with which his mouth met hers.
Severus' hand slid around her neck and simply cradled her head while the one on her wrist rose up to caress her cheek. Unsure of herself, Raven's suddenly limp arms found movement - reaching out to place a hand on his chest and the other to grip his shoulder.
Their lips began moving slowly in a rhythm in time with their increasingly shallow breaths. To both of their surprise, it was Raven who pressed them back into the pillows, lying above the Potions Master on her forearms and keeping the kiss intact. His strong hands ran up and down her side and lower back.
The Demoness let out a small gasp as she pressed her body into him.
A dozen pillows suddenly exploded near them, showering the air with feathers and startling them out of their quickly-accelerating intentions.
Raven broke the kiss, staring down at the hook-nosed, beady-eyed Slytherin who had made her forget what she was. They both were breathing heavily, looking into one another's gaze in a mix of lust and confusion. They didn't move off one another, but Raven didn't lower her head to resume.
Glancing around his face, she uttered a breathy word... "Ridikulous."
Snape's lips - now somewhat pink - stretched into a genuine smile as his eyes crinkled and he let out a laugh. Squeezing his arms tighter around her, Snape pulled her back to his lips, this time deepening the kiss even further and bending a knee up to cradle Raven against his body. Her moan this time was much more primal, and awakened something in both of them.
As the Potion Master's hand glided along her side, and the pale skin shivered with goosebumps, Raven's vivid purple eyes changed. The violet hue, still hidden beneath her closed lids, turned a bright aquamarine. It had been many years since she'd seen this personality. During her meditation sessions, Teal Raven was always absent when the group was called together for discussion. The Demoness had been convinced she had died of starvation and isolation. In the beginning, Raven had believed she was the embodiment of Lust and Seduction, but that theory had been quashed in her early teens when the real Lust had reared her hormonal head in a smoldering magenta cloak...and, um...stripper shoes...with a leather whip.
Additionally, Teal Raven never appeared alongside her crushes. Her embarrassing Beast Boy phase (gods, that was humiliating), and even the brief infatuation with Aqualad never warranted Teal Raven to make an appearance. Only once, did she remember a real presence of her...and it was when Robin was lying comatose in the Titan Tower medical bay. But she had disappeared shortly thereafter, once the team leader had openly chosen Starfire.
Here, though...Raven had never experienced a complete sensory take-over like this...actions, thoughts, emotions.
The feathers began to blow violently in the room as though they were in a freshly shaken snow globe. The blue cloak rippled in the non-existent wind like a flag...even the black strands of Severus' hair flowed gently. Raven slowly became aware of the danger he was in, as the brass food trays began to vibrate and shake with suppressed energy.
As her hand grazed along Snape's face tenderly, she jumped when the brass tray shot through the air and created sparks as it ricocheted off the protective Protego spell Snape had cast earlier. It clattered noisily off to the side.
The Sorceress broke the kiss and opened her eyes, calming herself down. They returned to purple.
Snape allowed his to open as well, and his gaze shifted from the goddess above him to the whirlwind of chaos around them and the brass projectile that had harmlessly collided with his head not two seconds prior.
"Hmm." He grunted in disappointed acknowledgement of their predicament.
With a sigh of resignation, Raven rested her head on his chest. They lay there for several minutes, a lazy hand rubbing circles on Raven's back as they regrouped their thoughts.
Truly, unforgivable.
Harry, Ron, and Hermione glanced up in unison as the Fat Lady's portrait swung open, as though they knew exactly when Raven would step through into the Gryffindor common room. Their varying expressions of disapproval, to suspicion, to disgust, indicated to her that they were aware of something that would soon be revealed.
The Demoness raised an eyebrow as she approached.
"You're going to miss dinner," she said archly.
Hermione met her with a raised eyebrow of her own. "I could say the same to you."
"We got worried when you weren't in the Great Hall for lunch or supper, so..." Ron shrugged, trying to justify something they hadn't even admitted to.
That's when Raven spotted the strange parchment spread out in front of them on the large coffee table. She approached and analyzed the curious document from the other side of the red couch, interested in the tiny moving dots and labels in what appeared to be a blueprint of the Hogwarts Castle.
Harry finally spoke. "Awfully friendly with the greasy git, aren't you? Spending lunch and dinner alone with him in the Room of Requirement."
She felt her posture straightening and her eyes narrowing at his choice of words and disgusted tone. "Am I to understand you are condemning me for spending time with someone you dislike for personal reasons?"
"It's not just that I can't stand the bastard! Raven, he can't be trusted!"
"I'm gratified by how highly you regard my sense of judgement, Harry."
Hermione tried to intervene. "Harry, she has no reason to suspect Snape's loyalties especially if Dumbledore doesn't. But that still doesn't mean it's smart for her to form a close relationship with him, considering his background and tendency to remain morally ambiguous. To maintain his role, sometimes he actually has to obey You Know Who and do horrible things."
The Boy Who Lived let out an exasperated huff. "It's because I consider his background and moral ambiguity that I worry about him! I worry that he's manipulating you, Raven. And I worry that he's playing us all - Moody thinks as much, and I'd trust his word over Snape's any day.
"If this what you spend your time worrying about, Harry, it's no wonder Dumbledore outsourced your job."
The Golden Trio stood in shell shock, Harry's face both livid and pale.
"Bloody hell, mate," Ron muttered.
Harry seethed. "What the hell are you talking about? I'm the one who has to kill him according to the prophecy."
"And just how do you imagine you're going to accomplish that if you can't even hide your own plans from him?"
Harry's face regained color - that matched the couch he shot up from.
Raven continued her onslaught. "Yes, I heard about your disastrous Occlumency lessons: your resentment of the instructor led to disregard for instruction, and utter lack of dedication to the practice and study. Your careless attitude almost resulted in the death of your godfather, and seriously injured your friends...and yet you still try and point fingers at Snape?" The Sorceress wrapped up her surprisingly calm, yet deadly, tirade. "Just because a prophecy declared you as the Chosen One, do you honestly think you don't need to make an effort? Or that Dumbledore would trust the outcome to you?"
Harry didn't trust himself to speak. His hands were trembling and his jaw was tightly clenched.
"Get out."
Raven glanced at the other two, and was unsurprised when they merely looked down and away. "So shall it be done."
She swept away to the door, but was stopped by the small, timid voice of Hermione. "I'll meet you in class."
The Demoness briefly looked over her shoulder, startled to see the bushy-haired Gryffindor give her a slight nod before turning to assist Ron as he calmed Harry down. Raven belatedly returned the nod before phasing through the portrait.
It took her merely a few minutes to teleport to her chambers and retrieve her star chart and Astronomy text books. She took a rare moment to glance in the mirror at her appearance, grateful she'd thought to wear her hood up after the...uh...*lunch* earlier. Her hair was a mess. Raven brushed it out, forcing away any feelings of regret she had for eviscerating Harry in the common room. It was the truth, and the boy needed to hear it. He wasn't just some kid...he was burdened with a terrible responsibility and a lifetime of loss and suffering - and he couldn't be afforded the luxury of the years it takes for teenage boys to mature into adulthood. Robin was an example of a boy forced to grow up too soon, and who adapted and accepted the mantel he was given without complaint. Raven knew some handled responsibility better than others, but when an entire people depended on it, little flexibility could be allowed. At 16, Robin was a better team leader than most men, and he shouldered the weight of that title with every setback, loss, and difficulty. Harry was in a similar role, but instead of the lives of Jump City, he was playing with the future of the Wizarding World...and he needed to suck it up. If he couldn't even face the reality of his actions having consequences, it was little wonder why Dumbledore sought to lean on her so heavily in the war to come.
One last appraising look in the mirror. She pressed her lips together, unimpressed with her reflection, and left the room.
Arriving at the Astronomy Tower, she spotted Hermione making her way toward her from the small group of students who had arrived slightly early. Raven kept her face neutral and her eyes downcast in greeting.
"Hey," the Muggleborn witch offered.
"Hi."
"Welcome to Astronomy. It's a bunch of shit, but it gets me outside and I love looking up at the stars."
Raven cracked a small smile.
Hermione hesitated before continuing. "I wanted to say that...well...that I'm sorry for treating you so horribly. You didn't deserve it, and I think I was just lashing out because of my own insecurities."
She allowed the small smile to become a little more natural. "You have nothing to be insecure about. I don't consider my knowledge to be anything but artificial. I respect the dedication and passion for education you have. It's what's kept you and your friends alive, and it's something that will serve you well beyond Hogwarts."
The Gryffindor smiled graciously. "Thank you. And..." she hesitated again. "You were right. About Harry I mean. I don't think he's ready yet, and I know it was painful for me to see him stripped down and hurt like that, but I think it was something he's been needed to hear. I've been too close to him and too concerned with upsetting him to even consider discussing it with him myself. You could have been a little less brutal, but I wanted to let you know I appreciate what you did."
Raven let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. "I only hope it has the desired effect. It won't be long until he's-"
The entrance of the astronomy professor interrupted them, but the smile and nod from Hermione healed something inside the dark girl that she'd almost forgotten was broken. They found a spot in the back against the railing together and became class partners for the observation exercise.
About thirty minutes into the lesson, as Hermione went first looking through their shared telescope, Raven's attention was arrested by a slight movement far below them on the campus grounds. The Demoness squinted slightly to identify the black speck sweeping across the lawn toward the main gate. A slight glint of white from the moonlight increased her growing alarm, and Raven suddenly reached forward to seize the telescope from Hermione and redirect it to the shape.
"I'm sorry - I just really need to see something."
"What is it?"
"I hope I'm wrong."
Raven refocused the lens and moved the scope around until she spotted the source of the motion.
Almost as soon as she centered the object in her sights, she let go and returned the telescope to Hermione. She didn't need to linger. "It's Snape." Her voice emotionless. Monotone. Raven forced her emotions to be still, even as she internally panicked. He was wearing his Death Eater robes and mask, which means he'd been Summoned unexpectedly on a Friday, the night before the grand meeting with Voldemort.
Hermione looked at her quizzically. "Professor Snape? But why? Where is he going?"
Raven's concerned look was enough to tell her exactly where and why he was going.
"Oh dear," she murmured quietly. "Let me know how it went when you see him next, will you? I may not be as fond of him as you are, but that doesn't mean I wish him any ill, especially considering the risks he takes."
"I will."
Hermione tried to resume her star gazing, despite having her mind on other things. Raven barely attempted to fein attention as she compulsively checked the iron gates for any sign of his return.
Summoned again? Was it only him this time? Did it pertain to the planned gathering at Malfoy's the next day, or was this a separate issue entirely?
All these questions and more swam in her brain until class finally ended at nine.
Impatiently, she gathered her class supplies while still keeping an eye down on the grounds. Hermione handed her one of Raven's papers that had blown off her stack.
"Good luck tomorrow. And be careful...I may not know the full extent of your powers, but I know theirs and they shouldn't be underestimated."
Raven glanced up at her in shock. "I didn't know you were aware..."
Hermione smiled mischievously. "We aren't," she said with a wink. Then, mouthing silently: "Dumbledore tells Harry everything."
"Oh he does...?"
The Gryffindor's smile faded a little into something a little more somber. "I think that's why your comments about outsourcing hit too close to home."
"For what it's worth, I am sorry. He's a good kid, and he doesn't deserve this kind of life."
Hermione gave her a meaningful look. "No one does."
Raven maintained her gaze in understanding before dropping her eyes. "Yeah, well...we play the cards we're dealt, don't we?"
"Unless you're Dumbledore," she added wryly. "Then you go fish for a wildcard."
The Demoness smirked slightly.
Before she could respond, her peripheral vision caught the opening and closing of the Hogwarts gates. Confirming the cloaked figure, Raven looked back to Hermione, almost asking permission.
Hermione smiled and nodded. "Go on, then. If you need anything, just give me a holler."
With a nod, Raven picked up her books and supplies and with a whip of her cloak, transformed into the black raven that flew through the walls of the castle to her chambers. Inside her room, she literally dumped the texts and papers on the small loveseat and teleported back out onto the lawn.
Looking around her anxiously, she turned just in time to see the side door of the castle close.
She ran after him and phased through the door, but was too late to see where he'd headed.
Raven rationalized that if he was moving this quickly, Snape was not injured much if at all, and would bypass his quarters and head straight to Dumbledore for a report. Slackening her pace, she decided not to try and catch up, but rather meet him outside the Headmaster's office.
By the time she reached the giant statue guarding the spiral staircase, it had already stopped turning. Raven settled herself on a bench and waited.
The longer she waited, the more convinced she was that Snape had simply Floo'd to his rooms directly and that she was wasting her time. Ten minutes. Fifteen. Twenty. Raven yawned and considered leaving.
About forty minutes after sitting, the staircase made a groaning shudder as it began spiraling downward. Raven stood expectantly and was not disappointed when Severus Snape stepped out, wearing his usual teaching robes. He gave her a short glance as he passed by, not even pausing to greet her.
"I was concerned when I saw you leave from the Astronomy Tower."
"There was no need." He began striding away toward the dungeons and Raven hurried to keep up.
"Anything I should be aware of before tomorrow?"
"Nothing you haven't already been told. I suggest you get some rest tonight."
"And I suggest you tell me what the hell is going on, Severus."
Snape suddenly whirled around and sneered down at her. "Don't presume to take liberties, Miss Roth. I am still a figure of authority in this institution, and it just so happens that not everything is of your concern."
Raven's face shuttered immediately. "Whatever this is you're doing here isn't working. We've opened up too much to revert to this bullshit."
His left eyelid twitched. "I have my orders. You have yours. Ensure it's kept that way."
With a swirl of his robes, Snape pivoted on his heel and strode away.
Raven watched him leave with a sigh of disappointment. She flicked her eyes toward the giant statue with a hardening expression.
"Orders, indeed..."
A/N: I've never written romance before, so I'm sorry if it came across as rushed or poorly written and out of character. In my head, so much time has taken place between writing each chapter that it doesn't feel rushed to me, but for my readers it may come across as forced and cliched. I hope that isn't the case, but if it is, I do apologize and hope you'll be understanding of a first-time romance writer.
P.S. ~ Yes, I'm super cheesy and worked in the title of the story into dialogue. Sue me.
