AN: Again, thank you so much for reading. Thank you so much for your support through reviews and messages here as well as tweets, retweets, messages and follows on Twitter. – It makes this an amazing experience and it makes it worth all the time that goes into it.
The chapter picks up right after chapter 7, the same morning.
Twitter: Susanne_KJ
Disclaimer: I do not own Lost Girl or any of the established characters. Established characters from Lost Girl belong to The Lost Girl creators.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Everything has changed.
Bo is sitting on her couch, drinking tequila straight from the bottle while staring straight ahead. 'Nothing has changed' she tells herself. 'Things are still the same. Nothing has changed. Nothing has changed.' She gets up and starts pacing the living room floor.
Kenzi comes barging through Bo's front door. "Bo?"
Bo doesn't answer but just takes another gulp of tequila while pacing.
Kenzi approaches and sees her best friend absentmindedly pacing with the tequila bottle in her hand. "Oh Bo…."
Kenzi sits down on the couch and observes Bo. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asks carefully.
Bo continues to pace and shakes her head. "No! There's nothing to talk about. Nothing has changed."
"Bo…..." Kenzi says in a pleading voice.
"Don't!" Bo raises her hand to stop Kenzi from saying anything further.
Kenzi leans back on the couch and gives her best friend some time.
Bo breaks the silence after drinking a few more sips from the bottle. "I slept with Lauren…" As she says the words she stops pacing and stands still.
Kenzi instantly jumps up from the couch. "YOU DID WHAT?! Bo, for God's sake! How could you?!"
Bo doesn't move and she doesn't say anything.
Kenzi sits back down on the couch perplexed at first, then confused. "Wait Bo, I don't get it. I came here because Vex called me and told me that you came banging on his door like a crazy person at 7 am and that you called off the bet. He was worried about you, so he called me. I thought you had figured out that you have feelings for Lauren, and that's why we are having this little meltdown of yours right now. But if you had already had sex with Lauren why did you call off the damn bet? If you had sex with Lauren, you won the stupid idiotic destructive bet."
Bo still isn't moving and she is almost catatonic when she answers. "I didn't have sex with her. I said that I slept with her. Slept."
Kenzi is dumbfounded. "You SLEPT with her? Just slept?"
Bo moves the bottle up to her mouth again and takes huge gulp. "Yes." Then she starts to pace again.
"Wow Bo! That's huge for you!"
Bo doesn't say anything. She doesn't know what to say.
"Bo, please sit down and tell me what happened last night."
Bo takes a deep breath and then sits down next to Kenzi. She tells Kenzi about everything that happened last night at the bar and at Lauren's apartment. "….. and then I left before Lauren woke up. She doesn't know that I fell asleep and spent the night. I went to Vex's place and called off the bet, and now we are here." She finishes.
Kenzi is speechless, but smiles. – A lot!
Bo says nothing but drinks some more tequila.
When Kenzi's speaks again her voice is apprehensive and careful. "Bo, you do know what this means, right? You do realize that you have feelings for Lauren, right?"
Bo jumps up from the couch. "No! No, Kenz. No! Nothing has changed. I don't have feelings for Lauren. I can't have feelings for Lauren."
"Bo…."
"No! I can't! I don't! Nothing has changed! I like Lauren, she is nice, I am really attracted to her, I like spending time with her, she is different from other women, she kind of drives me crazy in a hundred different ways, but I can't have feelings for her. I can't! I don't!"
"But Bo, it is okay to have feelings for Lauren. It's okay. It's more than okay."
"No, I don't. Nothing has changed. I just like her."
"You just like her? But you don't have feelings for her?"
"Precisely."
"Then why did you call off the bet?"
Bo stares at her best friend. "Don't ask me that right now Kenz. Please."
Kenzi sighs. "Fine. For now, I am going to let you stay in denial. At some point you will have to admit to yourself that you have feelings for Lauren, but for now I can see that you are not ready to admit it. So what do we do now? Do we drink some more? - Is that what you need?"
"Yes." Bo feels relieved. She cannot do this right now. Not that there is anything to do because the fact of the matter is that she likes Lauren, Lauren is great, but both her and Kenzi know that Bo's doesn't have "feelings" for women, she is simply not capable of having "feelings". No, this is just her feeling temporarily weird because she accidently slept with Lauren.
Kenzi gives her an encouraging smile. "Then for now, that is what we do. I will be here for you once you come to terms with all of this but for now we drink."
"Thank you."
And so they drink together.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The next day Bo feels much better. Lauren is a friend. – A friend she likes to flirt with, a friend she wouldn't mind kissing or seeing naked, but that does not mean she has "feelings" for Lauren. Everything is going to be alright she tells herself. Nothing has changed. It is back to business as usual. Nothing has changed. – Why would it have?!
However, Lauren's little 'incident' was Wednesday night and now it's late Friday morning and Bo still hasn't heard anything from Lauren. She has been checking her mobile, but no texts or calls from Lauren. She hasn't gotten any messages on her home phone either. She wondered if perhaps the home phone had been accidently disconnected or if the answering machine wasn't working, so she unplugged and re-plugged everything, but still no word from Lauren. It's not like Bo really cares, she doesn't. Bo is just worried about her friend Lauren. And it's not like Lauren had to call or text her, it would just be nice to know that she was doing okay. Bo cannot imagine that yesterday was all that fun for Lauren with the hangover she must have had. Also there's the whole Evony-thing.
Should she text Lauren? Or, maybe she should call her? Or, perhaps as a friend she should go to the clinic and see that Lauren is alright. – Yeah, and they do still have to talk about the last details for the fundraiser on Monday….
She decides that she should totally go and see Lauren at the clinic, no harm in that.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
At the clinic, Bo walks down the hallway and as she approaches Lauren's office, she can see that the door is open. Bo is about to knock on the open door when she spots Lauren inside the office.
Lauren has her back to the door and doesn't seem to have heard Bo arrive. Bo lean's up against the doorframe and admires the view for a moment. – And what a view! Lauren is searching through one of the lower cabinets with her ass in the air. What is it about this woman that has such an effect on Bo?! Bo could stare at that ass all day, and yet she cannot bear to stare at it for a second longer without actually doing something about it! Lauren drives her crazy!. – As a friend of course….
Still leaning against the doorframe she knocks on the open door.
"Is the doctor in? – Because I think I might need a doctor to take a look at my back. I injured it carrying a drunk woman up a flight of stairs the other night." Bo says with a cocky smile.
A surprised Lauren spins around. "Bo..."
Bo gives her a charming smile. "Hi Lauren."
Lauren looks surprised. "Hi…You are here... Now… You are here in my office... Hi Bo…."
Hmm… Lauren seems nervous. This could be fun. Bo looks down and examines the doorframe. "Well, technically I am only halfway in your office." She responds with a cheeky smile.
Lauren is a bit jittery and seems flustered. "Why are you here?" Her tone is harsh.
Bo feels a bit sad and hurt because it seems like Lauren really doesn't want her there. Maybe coming here was a mistake. "You know what, I can leave. I just came to check up on you, since I hadn't heard from you since the other night but I can see that you are busy or whatever. I'll go again. Bye, Lauren." Bo turns around disappointed.
"No! Bo, wait! Come on in. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry" Lauren says and gives her an apologetic smile.
Bo enters the office. Lauren walks past her and closes the door. "Feel free to sit down on the couch" Lauren gestures, which Bo does.
Lauren stays on the other side of the office, keeping a distance between them.
"Lauren, are you okay? I mean, both physically from all the alcohol and about everything with Evony?" Bo's voice is pretty low and bears evidence of both concern and also trepidation about bringing up Evony after the other night.
"I am. I am, Bo." Lauren takes a deep breath. "I didn't feel all that great yesterday to be honest, it was without a doubt the worst hangover of my life. But I am okay."
"You were in a really bad place."
"I know, but I feel much better now. " Lauren does that thing she does, where she tucks a strain of hair behind her ear. "Bo, I am really embarrassed. Really! I am absolutely mortified about my behaviour the other night. I was SO drunk and I cannot remember everything but I do remember enough to be very embarrassed. And you were so good and sweet to me. Thank you. I really don't know what to say, you were fantastic."
Bo blushes a bit. "That's okay Lauren, don't think about it."
"No Bo, you saved me. You saved me from myself and from that woman at the bar. Thank you." Lauren pauses and then turns her back to Bo as she asks "I asked you to have sex with me, right?"
Bo feels oddly shy herself. "Yes, you did Lauren."
Lauren still has her back to Bo and Bo is quite sure that it's because she's ashamed. "I shouldn't have. I'm very sorry Bo, I don't know what got into me. I am so sorry for everything."
Bo brushes it off. "Oh, stop apologizing Lauren. Everything turned out fine. Don't sweat it!"
Lauren turns back around and faces Bo with a little appreciative smile. "Thank you. Wait, did you actually carry me up the stairs?"
Bo gives out a small laugh. "You don't remember?"
"No….." Lauren says nervously.
"Wow….." Bo is surprised that she doesn't remember, but then again she was really drunk. "Well I did. Do you remember giving your panties to the bouncer at the bar, doing coke and me giving you multiple orgasms in the car?"
"That didn't happen Bo!" Lauren looks at Bo as if she was mentally deficient.
"Are you sure?" Bo tries.
"Yes!"
They both burst into laughter.
After the laughter subsides, Lauren looks at her nervously. "I really do hope I didn't do anything too embarrassing the other night?"
Images of Lauren in her underwear pop into Bo's mind and she has to suppress a huge grin from forming on her lips. "No Lauren, you didn't do anything too embarrassing."
Lauren looks relieved. "Thank you for staying until I fell asleep. Was it late before you got home?"
"Nah, I left just after you fell asleep." Bo lies.
"At least I didn't strip naked or something like that in front of you." Lauren jokes.
Bo has to stifle her grin. "Yeah. At least you didn't do anything like that…"
Lauren doesn't seem to get the hint. "So let's not talk any more about my embarrassing night. Are we good with everything for the fundraiser on Monday?"
Bo nods. "Yeah, I think so. We have everything ready at the bar."
Lauren looks relived to be moving on. "Good. And again thank you for all your help with the fundraiser Bo."
Bo gets up from the couch. "No problem. I have to get going Lauren. I will see you at the bar on Monday night then."
"Yes. Bye Bo. And again, thank you. – Both for your help the other night and for being so gracious about it today." Lauren gives her a sincere smile.
Bo simply cannot help herself, she has to tease Lauren a little bit. On her way over to the door Bo walks over to Lauren as to pass right by her. As she passes Lauren she slows down, and stops so that she is standing right next to Lauren. Their shoulders and hips touch, their faces are side by side. Bo leans in, so that her mouth almost touches Lauren's ear, and then she whispers slowly into Lauren's ear. "Oh and Lauren, you looked absolutely stunning in your black lacy lingerie the other night." Maintaining their closeness, Bo then turns her head slightly so that she is looking at Lauren and winks seductively.
Lauren looks embarrassed and a bit flustered, which Bo loves. Lauren bites her lower lip.
Arrrggghhh, that lip biting is going to be Bo's undoing….
Still looking into Lauren's eyes, she slowly places her right index finger on Lauren's lip and gently releases it from Lauren's teeth. "Don't bite your lip Lauren, it makes me want to kiss the crap out of you and you haven't said 'please'." She says in a low voice and removes her finger from Lauren's lip.
While breathing shallowly, Lauren slowly licks her lip at the exact place where Bo's finger had just been.
Bo turns back her head slightly, so that her mouth once again is right in front of Lauren's ear. "One last thing Lauren… You were drunk the other night, but in the future you should be careful about asking me to kiss you or have sex with you, because next time you ask, next time you say 'please', I will do it."
Lauren's breath hitches. - It has exactly the effect on Lauren that she was hoping for.
Bo lets her hand brush up against Lauren's as she steps away and starts to walk out of Lauren's office. With her back to Lauren she says "Goodbye doctor Lewis, see you at the fundraiser." And then she walks out of the office.
As she leaves the clinic Bo is smiling so much that her cheeks hurt.
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It's Monday night and the fundraiser is going great. The bar looks really good and people seem to be enjoying themselves. The orchestra Trick helped them get is fantastic. It's a shame that Trick couldn't be here tonight but he had a board meeting in New York.
Kenzi and Bo are hanging out at the bar. Bo spots Lauren talking some guests at the other end of the bar. Lauren has been pretty anal tonight. She is obviously nervous about how the fundraiser is going to go, whether enough people will turn up and whether they will raise enough money. This nervousness has made her run around like a headless chicken while she has tried to micromanage everything. She even started to reorganize the flower decorations because they were not perfectly symmetrical..! Bo is starting to wonder if maybe Lauren becomes a little OCD when she gets nervous, just a little... And don't even get Bo started on how many times she has seen Lauren nervously tuck a strain of hair behind her ear. – It's a wonder the woman isn't bald on one side. But on the bright side, Lauren looks beautiful. She has on this elegant classic blue dress and she looks stunning.
Kenzi fakes a cough. "Cough cough….. You are staring at little miss Lewis."
Bo snaps out of it. "No.. No, I'm not..." She smiles sarcastically at Kenzi.
Kenzi notices Crystal at the door. "Oh, I see Crystal arriving."
Crystal spots them and immediately walks towards them. She seems to be focussing on Bo while smiling like crazy.
"Hi Crystal." Bo greets.
But Crystal doesn't reply, instead she just walks right up to Bo and gives her fierce hug. Bo certainly wasn't expecting this. This is the first time she has seen Crystal since their little talk at the cabin. Bo pads her awkwardly on the back.
Crystal pulls back again. "Thank you Bo! Thank you so much for what you did for Lauren the other night. She told me all about what you did for her. I am so grateful to you. Thank you!" Crystal smiles. "I might have been too hard on you at the cabin. You are alright by me, Bo Dennis."
Bo certainly wasn't expecting this either. "Well, thank you Crystal." Bo gives Kenzi a WTF look.
They are interrupted as Lauren approaches the three of them. Fingers crossed she didn't find another flower that was out of place in one of the flower decorations. Bo smiles at Lauren and hopes for the best. OCD Lauren is not her favourite Lauren. "Everything alright?" She dares.
Lauren seems distressed. "No! I don't think we are going to raise enough money to keep the clinic open. Fewer people have showed up than I expected. Right now we have 4.000 from private donations and the silent auction will most likely bring in around 8.000 based on the value of the auction items. So, we are still going to need around 8.000 more in donations, in order to raise the 20.000 we need to prevent the clinic from closing. I don't know what we are going to do. So many people are relying on the clinic, people who won't get medical attention if the clinic is shut down." Lauren is really upset.
Bo takes her hands and looks into her eyes. "Lauren, breathe. Relax. We'll figure something out. The night is not over. Maybe the silent auction will raise more money than you anticipate, let's just wait and see. Go dazzle some rich people with your charm and get them to donate some money. " Bo gives her a supportive smile.
Lauren takes a deep breath. "You are right." She gives Bo a smile and then turns around and heads over to a group of guests.
Bo turns to Kenzi and Crystal. "I'll be right back."
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An hour later, Bo is sitting at a table talking to Kenzi when Crystal comes rushing over to them.
"Have you guys seen Lauren?"
"No." Both Kenzi and Bo respond.
"I need to find her, I'm not sure that she knows yet. Have you heard?"
Kenzi and Bo look at each other. "Heard what Crystal?"
"I just talked to Donald, the guy who is in charge of keeping track of the donations, and he just told me that there was this insane bid on one of the items in the silent auction. Someone paid 15.000 for a little weekend trip. This means that the clinic is safe! Lauren is going to be so thrilled! You and Lauren did a great job Bo."
Kenzi gives Bo an inquiring look before looking at Crystal. "Did Donald say who this generous bidder was? The one who bid 15000 for a weekend trip?"
Crystal shakes her head. "No, he said that the person had wished to remain anonymous and that the person had asked him to leave the gift certificate for the weekend trip here at the bar, then someone would come and get at a later date."
Kenzi looks over at Bo. "Did he now…. Bo, you wouldn't –"
Bo gives Kenzi a stern look and interrupts her before she can finish her sentence. "Kenzi, can I have a quick word with you? – In private! Sorry Crystal, we will be right back. You should go find Lauren and tell her the good news. " Bo sends Crystal an apologetic smile as she grabs Kenzi by the arm and rapidly leads her away from Crystal.
As soon as they are alone in a corner of the bar Kenzi grins. "You did it, didn't you?"
Bo feigns innocence. "What? I don't know what you are talking about."
"Oh, come on Bo! You bought that weekend trip didn't you? You bought it to make Lauren happy! You wanted to make sure that the clinic raised enough money, so you spent 15.000 on a weekend trip that was probably worth a couple of hundred."
Bo shrugs while giving Kenzi a smile. "Yes, I did. It's for a good cause. The clinic does some really important work. I have seen some of the great work they do when I've been there working with Lauren. I don't care about the money and you know I can afford it. Also, I couldn't bear to see Lauren unhappy again. And before you say anything, no I didn't do it because I have feeling for Lauren, because I don't."
"What I don't get is why not tell Lauren and Crystal? I am guessing you dragged me over here because you didn't want me to tell Lauren and Crystal that it was you who saved the clinic."
"No, I don't want Lauren to know that it was me. I don't want her to think that I am trying to buy her in any way, that is not what this is about. I want to help the clinic and make her happy. It doesn't matter where the money came from, she doesn't need to know."
Kenzi embraces her in a huge bear hug. "You truly are an amazing woman Bo Dennis! You have a huge heart and you continue to surprise me."
Bo hugs her best friend. "Thank you."
"But won't she figure it out?" Kenzi asks puzzled.
"No I don't see why she would, not right now anyway. I haven't told her about the family's money. She knows that Trick is my grandfather but she doesn't know who Trick actually is. My last name is Dennis and it never came up that Trick's last name is McCorrigan, as in the McCorrigan Corporation, so she doesn't know that I am a McCorrigan on my mother's side. Also, I told her about how I took over the bar from Trick, I didn't tell her that he ran the bar as a pet project because the corporate lifestyle would have killed him otherwise. It's not that Lauren can't know that my family is rich, I know she won't care, there just hasn't been a right time to say "By the way, my family is disgustingly wealthy.""
"I won't say anything. But Bo, be careful about keeping too many secrets from her."
"I will."
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Kenzi and Bo have returned to the bar and are about to do a shot of tequila.
Kenzi taps her shoulder. "Lauren - 10 o'clock."
Lauren, followed by Crystal, is headed straight towards them. Bo knows that Crystal has told Lauren about them raising enough money because Lauren is absolutely beaming.
Bo has never seen Lauren this happy before and it fills her with such joy to see her so happy. She wishes Lauren could be this happy every day, she deserves to be.
Lauren shouts from a distance. "We did it! We did it Bo!" Lauren's smile is infectious and the most heart-warming thing Bo has ever seen. Bo returns the smile.
Lauren walks straight up to Bo and before Bo has a chance to register what is happening, Lauren throws her arms around Bo in the most sincere hug. Bo is so surprised by Lauren's embrace, that she just stands there with her arms hanging by her sides, not quite sure what is happening. She does however register how wonderful Lauren smells.
Lauren releases Bo partly from the embrace, so that they are now standing with their faces close together, Lauren's arms still wrapped loosely around Bo. Lauren looks into Bo's eyes. "Thank you Bo."
Bo's heart is pounding.
Lauren removes her arms from around Bo, but much to Bo's surprise they move up to Bo's face. For a second, Lauren just holds Bo's face in both her palms while staring into her eyes. Bo feels like Lauren is staring right into the deepest and darkest parts of her. Lauren's hands are warm and gentle, and they send a current through her. Bo's breath hitches. Bo's arms are still hanging at her sides, her body is not allowing her to move an inch.
Then it happens! Lauren pulls Bo's face closer to her own and with a slow lingering touch she places her lips on Bo's and kisses her. Bo lets out a very low moan. Lauren's lips are so soft and warm, they have the sweetest taste and they are just the most amazing thing Bo has ever been in contact with. Feeling weak in the knees and her arms still hanging down her side, Bo surrenders to Lauren's gentle caressing lips and kisses her back. Lauren closes her eyes and so does Bo. Bo senses nothing else around her other than Lauren and her amazing lips. Bo doesn't know if this is real or if it's a dream but her entire body is yearning for this woman.
Lauren slowly pulls away and their lips part. Her palms are sill on Bo's face as she slowly opens her eyes and looks into Bo's. "Wow."
Bo swallows. "Wow."
Lauren lets go of Bo's face and takes a step back. "I have to go talk to Donald." She walks away looking dazed by what just happened.
Bo hasn't moved yet, she hasn't been able to, her brain has turned to mush.
Crystal and Kenzi are both staring at Bo. "Wow." Kenzi says.
Bo is completely hypnotized. "Yeah, wow….." She lets out. Did that just happen? Did Lauren really just kiss her? Yes she did, and it was the most amazing kiss ever! Bo gently licks her lips, they are tingling.
"I think you are completely under her spell Bo." Kenzi says.
Bo would have to agree. "I think so too."
And that is when a wave washes over Bo for the second time this week. "I have to go…." Bo rushes out of the bar and out in to the fresh air. Her heart is pounding so fiercely that she feels like it's about to rip through her chest. She needs get home. Now.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
A half hour later Bo is sitting at home on her couch with a new bottle of tequila. Thank God that she always has multiple bottles of tequila in her kitchen.
Bo is feeling so much right now and all she wants to do is feel nothing. What is she going to do? Bo isn't equipped to deal with something like this.
Kenzi comes barging through Bo's front door. "Bo?" – It's Déjà vu.
Bo doesn't answer but just takes another gulp of tequila and stares straight ahead.
Kenzi approaches and sees what a mess her best friend is, again. "Oh Bo…."
Kenzi sits down next to her and looks right at her. Bo is stilling staring straight ahead. Kenzi reaches for the bottle and Bo thinks that Kenzi is going to take the bottle away from her and give her some speech about how drinking isn't going to solve anything, a speech that Bo really isn't in the mood for right now. Bo is therefor surprised when Kenzi does nothing of the sort. Kenzi takes the bottle, brings it up to her lips and drinks before giving the bottle back to Bo.
They sit there saying nothing. Kenzi knows her so well.
Bo breaks the silence. "She kissed me."
Kenzi smiles. "Yes, she did…"
"And I slept with her."
"Yes, you did." Kenzi acknowledges.
Bo takes a deep breath and exhales. "I have feelings for Lauren, don't I?" She admits, to Kenzi, but just as much to herself.
Kenzi takes Bo's hand and gives it a squeeze. "Yes, you do."
Bo turn's to face Kenzi. "But I can't have feelings for her..." She says desperately.
Kenzi gives her best friend an affectionate look. "But, you do Bo…. You do…. I am going to be honest with you. - You have had feelings for Lauren longer than you want to admit, which is why you haven't made any real attempt to have sex with her over the last 3 weeks. You have told yourself and the rest of us that you were trying but your actions told a different story. You have had the chance to kiss her multiple times over the last week, yet you haven't until she kissed you tonight. – Not because you didn't want to, but because you started caring about her and then you couldn't get yourself to do it with that stupid bet hanging over your head. You want to kiss Lauren, you are attracted to her and want to have sex with her, but not because of the bet, but because you have feelings for her."
Bo leans to the side and rests her head on her best friend's shoulders and they sit in silence.
Bo feels so hopeless. "Oh, what am I going to do Kenz?"
"Answer me this, what do you really want?" Kenzi asks firmly.
Bo feels lost. "I don't know! I just want to go back to the life I had before I met Lauren, that life was easy and simple."
Kenzi looks at her resignedly. "First off, simple is overrated. And you can't go back. You have already fallen for her. There is no going back. You can't turn off your feelings, run away from this and forget everything that has happened. Plus that is not what you really want. What do you really want?"
"I don't know."
Kenzi tilts her head. "Yes, you do know Bo. What do you really want?" She pressures.
"I want Lauren." Bo admits.
Kenzi nods. "Good. Now, do you want to just have sex with Lauren? Is sex all you want from her?"
"No, I want more than that. This isn't just about sex." And Bo realises that it is the honest truth.
"Why? Isn't Lauren just like any other woman you've met?" Kenzi asks, playing the role of the devil's advocate.
Bo smiles a bittersweet smile. "No, Lauren is very different from any and every woman I have ever met."
"Okay. Do you want to have sex with anyone besides Lauren?"
Bo is surprised to find that she doesn't. "No, I don't. Believe it or not, I haven't really desired any other woman since I met Lauren."
"Oh, I believe you Bo."
"You do?" Bo is surprised.
"Yes, we both know that you have almost stopped having sex since Lauren came into the picture. The ones you have had sex with in that time have been to prove to us, but mostly to yourself, that you weren't falling for Lauren. The last couple of hook-ups you have had, have been only when you were drunk and none of them have been blondes Bo. That's no coincidence."
Bo takes another sip of the tequila.
Kenzi takes her hand again. "It sounds like you want to be with Lauren. It sounds like you want to perhaps have a relationship with Lauren…... "
Bo shakes her head. "We both know that I can't do that Kenz. Even if I have feelings for Lauren, we both know that I can't be in a relationship. I am not relationship material. I don't know how to do any of that. I'm not capable of loving another person. I can't be with Lauren. Lauren deserves better." Bo has tears in her eyes.
Kenzi seems heartbroken by Bo's lack of belief in herself. "Of course you can Bo!"
"Kenz! Be realistic! We both know that I would screw it up! - Big time!"
Kenzi looks at her with sympathy and pity in her eyes. "You are SO sure that you are not capable of love, of loving another person. You are SO sure that you don't deserve love, that you don't deserve to be loved. But Bo, you do! You do! I know how big your heart is! You might hide behind your looks, your charm, your player lifestyle and all that but you have a big heart that is entirely capable of loving. You have shown me and Vex what a big heart you have. You saved me. You saved Vex too when he needed it. You saved Lauren the other night. You also donated a lot of money tonight, out of the goodness of your heart and because you wanted to make Lauren happy. You let me see that big heart of yours all the time, let Lauren see it as well. Let Lauren in."
A tear rolls down Bo's cheek. Kenzi wipes away the tear with her hand. Bo can barely speak. "Kenz…"
Kenzi takes Bo's face in both her hands. "Bo, I know that you are absolutely terrified right now. You are terrified of what you are feeling. Your feelings for Lauren scare the shit out of you, that is why we are sitting here. You are terrified that you will suck at all this and that you will end up breaking Lauren's heart. You are also terrified that if you let her in, Lauren will break your heart. You are terrified that she won't like what she sees. You are terrified that if you let her in, she might leave you. – Like your parents did. But Bo, she is not your parents. She isn't…."
Bo breaks down crying and Kenzi embraces her in a hug. Kenzi knows that she is bordering on dangerous territory bringing up Bo's parents but it is necessary.
Kenzi pulls back and looks into Bo's eyes. "But Bo, it is okay to be scarred and even terrified, because love is terrifying. – It is. But love is also glorious and magnificent and great. Love is the best thing in this world. Love is a gamble you take. You may end up hurt, sure. I can't promise that you won't screw this up. I can't promise you that Lauren won't hurt you or break your heart. I can't promise you any of that, but I can promise you that you will regret it for the rest of your life if you don't give this a chance. – If you don't give Lauren a chance. – If you don't give the two of you a chance. – If you don't give yourself a chance. And remember what I always say: Regret is for Suckaz…."
Bo laughs in between sobs.
Kenzi smiles. "Bo, you have to listen to me when I say that you can do this. You have to believe in yourself and in Lauren."
Bo takes a deep breath. "Do you really believe that? Do you really believe that I can do this? I really don't want to hurt Lauren."
"Yes, I really do. Of course it's not going to be easy all the time. Relationships are fantastic, at least they can be if they are with someone you really care about. But relationships also require hard work and commitment. If Lauren agrees to move forward with you, if the two of you end up being in a relationship eventually, then it will of course require hard work and commitment from you. You have never been in a relationship Bo. And whether or not you hurt Lauren, is up to you. You can't treat Lauren the way you usually treat woman, but Bo I don't think that you will." Kenzi pauses.
"But Bo, no more running….. You ran from the cabin, you ran after you slept with Lauren and you ran tonight after your kiss. You cannot keep running away from Lauren, that will only make her doubt you."
"No more running." Bo has to take deep breath. She has never been this terrified in her life.
"Lauren will want dates, sleeping together and a lot of other things if the two of you take things further. Are you ready for that?" Kenzi questions.
Bo takes yet another deep breath. "I can do that. I can do dates, sleeping together and that stuff. – With Lauren, I can do that." Bo nods. She actually likes the thought of doing those things. – With Lauren. "What do I do now then?"
Kenzi gives her an encouraging and affirmative smile. "You go after that girl of yours."
"What if she doesn't feel the same way?" It suddenly dawns on Bo that Lauren may not feel the same way she does, and the thought scares Bo immensely.
Kenzi gives her a big smile. "She does Bo. She does, but she is scared too. She is just as scared as you are."
Bo hugs Kenzi tightly. "Now I go after her…."
"Yes, now you go after her.
Everything has changed.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
AN: Again, thank you so much for reading. Thank you so much for your support through reviews and messages here as well as tweets, retweets, messages and follows on Twitter. I love reading your reviews, I love seeing how you interpret the chapters and your reviews definitely make me want to write more and faster.
I know I am taking my time with these characters, but for me, this story is suppose to be at least an amateurish attempt at the grand love story we all want for Doccubus. I want everything for our two favourite women. I want the falling in love, I want the drama, the ups and the downs and eventually all the big life events for them. – So I want to develop them credibly and that will take some time, but not too long, - I promise.
Next chapter is going to be titled "This isn't a date" and that chapter will be a little more upbeat. I also promise that that chapter will be better than this one.
And to answer one of your questions; yes, Lauren still has 1 question left. - it is yet to come.
and to PP and your question for this chapter: yes we will get a better idea of what Lauren is thinking and feeling. Next chapter will bring some of that
