Author's Notes: I do not own Once Upon A Time which is a show on ABC where the writers need to learn what ex deux machina means and why you can't do it. Thanks for the reads and reviews. I really appreciate them. Please let me know what you think and happy reading!


Here

Belle rushed into the Master Bedroom.

"Rumple," she said. She got on the bed trying to stir him awake. "Rumple, we have a serious problem."

Gold's eyes shot open. "Is Beatrice alright?"

"Beatrice is alright. The problem is John Watson."

He looked at her in confusion. "John Watson?"

The door opened again and Beatrice entered.

"What's going on?"

Belle looked at Gold.

"There's nothing going on."

"Total lie. Why does somebody think I know where Moriarty is? I didn't even know Moriarty was real, which really, hashtag." She looked at her parents. "So, why does somebody think I know where Moriarty is?"

Belle and Rumple exchanged looks. Belle turned.

"Okay, you know your friend, Andrew?"

Beatrice turned to face her father. "What did you do?"

"I did nothing. Your mother beat him with one of my old canes."

Belle rolled her eyes. "Because he is Moriarty. We didn't remember Joseph. All I knew was your True Love was Sherlock Holmes and his arch enemy was trying to worm his way into your life."


There- London -1914

Joseph awoke in the guest room at the Doyle house.

He went to the window, the benefit of daylight giving him a view of his present location. He could make out the landmarks he knew, Big Ben, St. Paul's, but he was still a stranger in a strange land.

He dressed in the morning suit that Barrie had provided. It could have been a bit taller, but he supposed he'd be able to fix that soon. He came to the dining room to see Jenna and Louise had beat him.

"Your clothes look familiar," he said as he went to the sideboard to fix a plate.

"Do they?," asked Louise.

He took the plate and sat down.

"Downton Abbey. You've conjured your wardrobe based on Downton Abbey."

Louise motioned at Jenna. "Tell her she has to be Sybil."

"I'm older," said Jenna.

"I'm taller. Mary's taller than Sybil." She turned to Joseph. "You watch TV with her? Even now?"

"Yes."

"What do you do? Really?"

He sighed. "I ponder the best way to murder all the characters."

"Well," said Jenna, "I should have known, but still..."

Louise eyed Joseph. "What about Peppa Pig?"


Here

Merlin and Pamela looked up as the door to the vault opened.

Merlin made no secret of disguising his dismay as he saw Beatrice.

"Oh, good, you brought her here."

"What seems to be the problem?," asked Pamela.

"We have to let him go," said Beatrice.

Regina's eyes grew huge as she joined them. "Excuse me?"

"He needs to go."

"Why?," asked Merlin.

Beatrice looked at her grandfather. "Whoever Moriarty's working with has John Watson and so he needs to go."

"We can't do that," Regina protested. "He knows the Author. He knows what this is about."

"I don't care what this is about," said Beatrice.

"Happy endings."

"What happy endings? There are no happy endings and there really won't be any happy endings if John Watson dies!"

"This isn't about just one person."

"Not when one of the other people is you, apparently!," Beatrice snapped.

"Okay, enough," said Belle.

"We need to wait for this man to call us again," said Gold.

"And what if he doesn't?," asked Beatrice.

"If he knows who you are then he knows who I am," he answered steadily. "If he knows who I am, he's calling back."

Suddenly, Beatrice's phone rang.

"Well, that's rather good for even your precience, sunshine," said Merlin.

Beatrice looked at her family.

"It's John's phone."

"Give it to me."

She hesitated.

"It's okay, sweetheart."

Shaking, Beatrice handed her father the phone. Gold took it.

"Yes."

"I wanted the Dark Princess."

"Well, you've got the Dark One. How's that, dearie?"

"Rumplestiltskin," the deep voice said, "it's been a long time."

Gold's mouth curved in a smirk. "Oh, dear. If it isn't the amateur dealmaker. How are you, Facilier? Ought I call you Doctor still or is it baron this time?"

"Princess and the Frog guy?," Beatrice whispered. Belle hugged her with one arm reassuringly.

"Should I call you Mr. Gold?"

"Let's talk about the name you call your hostage. Doctor Watson?"

"Yes. Let's."

"Consider him under my protection."

"Well, what must one do to win the loyalty of the Dark One?"

"Never you mind that, dearie. Let's discuss you letting him go."

"I'm not working alone."

"Let me speak to him," said Gold.

Facilier paused. "If you let Moriarty go, Watson can live."

He hung up.

"Well, that seems to have gone well," said Regina.

"Any new strategies?"

Gold looked at Beatrice. "He'll call back."


There

Sir Arthur was just heading to his study to get some writing done- far away from his most famous character- when he ran into Barrie in the hallway.

"Hello, Doyle."

"Barrie, welcome."

"Is Jean home?"

Doyle grimaced. "She decided she ought to take to the country. Better for her nerves."

"Yes, about that, I have something I think your house guests may find of interest."

Doyle sighed. "You'll find them in the breakfast room."

Barrie entered. "Good morning, Mr. Holmes. Miss Holmes. Miss Louise."

"Good morning, Mr. Barrie," said Jenna.

Barrie reached into a folio case and pulled out some papers.

"I contacted some of Doyle's friends at Scotland Yard and they were able to help me find this."

Joseph took them as Jenna and Louise rushed to peer over his shoulder.

Jenna looked at it. "The Darling children."

"Yes," said Barrie. "It seems there were Darling children. Peter, Michael and Wendy, all vanished."

"Well, well, I wonder where," said Joseph.

"We know Uncle Bae lived with the Darlings," said Jenna. "And we know what happened to Neverland, but we don't know what happened to them."

"What happened to Neverland?," asked Barrie.

"Well..." Jenna began, "Pan sort of began his final attack on my mother. The power of her mother's True Love saved her but then Grandma Belle was in danger so Mom stepped in and while he was weakened Grandpa and Great-Grandpa transformed him, threw him in the ocean and shortly thereafter the entire realm collapsed in on itself."

Barrie stared at her blankly.

"Sorry," Jenna said sheepishly.

"I don't know what I was expecting..."

"Well, what are we waiting for?," asked Joseph. "Let's go."

"Go where?"

"Scene of the crime."

"But it's been years," said Jenna. "You can't possibly think you'll find anything there."

"I think I can," said Joseph.


There

While they waited for Facilier to call back, Beatrice noticed Regina eyeing her.

"Send her in."

"Are you insane?," asked Belle.

Gold rolled his eyes. "Think of who you're talking to, sweetheart."

"No, this thing is about her. It's all about her," said Regina. "Moriarty wanted to get close to her. Maybe he'll talk to her."

"Yeah, okay, worth a shot," said Beatrice.

"No, you don't have to do that," said Belle.

"Mom, seriously, this is usually the part where the villain says way too much about his plan. Not like I can pretend to jump off a building," she shrugged.


Beatrice stepped inside the vault where Moriarty lay tied.

"So they let you come in with me?"

"I've got three of the most powerful sorcerers who ever lived outside. Don't think you can get by with anything."

She walked over.

"Why did you pretend to be my friend?"

"Why? Does it make you upset?," he asked in a mocking tone.

Beatrice didn't answer.

"You don't have a lot of friends, do you?," asked Moriarty. "It's hard for people like us to keep them. Now, take someone like... Emma Swan. Beautiful, magical, seems like every man in town is after her and oh, right, she's the Savior? Everyone loves her. She has no problem making friends. Do you get jealous?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Emma grew up alone and I didn't.

"Oh, that's funny."

Beatrice frowned. "Not really."

Moriarty looked at her with wide eyes.

"So no one's shown you the other drafts?"

"Which other drafts?"

"Of your life."

"Okay, that's enough."

Beatrice turned to see her mom pulling her out of the room.

"Mom, I wasn't finished-"

"Yes, you are."

"Which rough drafts?"

"They're nothing," Gold insisted.

"Okay, so you're lying. Again today." She looked at Regina. "Which rough drafts?"

Regina shook her head. "What makes you think I know anything?"

"Regina, do you remember the part where you totally showed me the rough drafts?"

"I was hoping you wouldn't remember."

"They didn't want me to tell you." Regina looked apologetically at Gold and Belle, then back to Beatrice. "They didn't want to upset you and I don't really blame them. I probably would have done the same if you were my child."

"Oh, good. We're all on the same page with the lying!"

Merlin sighed. He motioned at the door for Beatrice. "Okay, come on."

"Being taken to a secondary location, so not boosting my confidence."

Merlin eyed her severely. "I'm not explaining this to you in the Evil Queen's vault, once you hear it you'll know why setting was so important so come on."

Beatrice sighed and followed Merlin up.


There

Joseph, Jenna, Louise and Barrie arrived at the Darling house.

"Right," said Joseph. "Barrie and I will go in from the back, you distract him."

"Why am I sneaking in?," asked Barrie.

"Because the police won't arrest you, you're J.M. Barrie," he said as if it was perfectly obvious.

"And how do we distract them?," asked Jenna.

"Sort something out," said Joseph.

He and Barrie disappeared around the corner.

"What do we do?," asked Louise as they went up the steps to the front door.

"We're suffragettes. Door to door suffragettes."

"But all I know about them is that Emmeline Pankhurst stole the Doctor's laser spanner." She paused. "Could we somehow make it about birds?"

"God, our elementary school was useless," said Jenna, ringing the doorbell.

They waited.

Louise turned to Jenna. "Do you remember that time at Disney World someone said Peter Pan was coming and you ran screaming to Grandpa and didn't stop crying for an hour?"

"You want to bring that up right now? Think of something to say."

"Do we need to do accents?"

"Can you do an accent?"

The door opened and a woman in a gray dress opened.

"Yes?"

"Hullo, guvnah," said Louise.

The woman recoiled.

"Don't do that," said Jenna. "Anyway, are you the lady of the house?"

"Yes."

"Oh, good because I'm Mary Crawley-"

"And I'm Sybil, not Edith."

"And we are heiresses to the Far North... Estate and we were just hoping for a moment to talk to you about Women's Suffrage."

The woman smiled. "Oh, dear no, thank you. I doubt I'd be interested."

"But you're a woman..." Louise suggested.

"Yes, but I don't need suffrage because my husband votes for the both of us and I am certain he has our best interests in mind."

The woman went to shut the door. Jenna wedged herself into it.

"You see, down at the suffrage office, we have a motto: 'No one decides my fate but me.'"


Barrie followed Joseph into the Darling nursery.

"How curious," said Barrie.

"What?"

"This room is just as I imagined it."

"Well, that is reassuring in a way." Joseph went to the French doors and opened them. "Don't suppose you wrote about someone called Baelfire and left him out in the final revision?"

"And who might he be?"

"Beatrice's half-brother." He leaned out on the ledge looking for any sign of disturbance.

"Your future brother-in-law, then."

"I suppose so." He took his glove along the frame of the window. "He was the one to come through a portal to this world. It was then Peter Pan's Shadow that took him to Neverland."

"Is the wedding soon?"

Joseph was disturbed from his investigation and looked back at the writer.

"What wedding?"

"Your wedding to Miss..."

"Gold."

"Yes, Miss Gold."

"There is no wedding."

"So no engagement yet?"

"No, she just turned eighteen, though..." Joseph got distracted trying to estimate the time that had elapsed when he last laid eyes on Beatrice. A year? Maybe more?

"So her parents don't approve?"

"I..." He shook his head. "Well, her mother and grandfather seemed fairly keen on it. Her father came around."

"Oh? How was that?"

"I did something to assure him of my devotion." He quickly shook it off. "The doors aren't right."

"What do you mean?"

"No cobwebs, no dust. See these small grooves?"

Barrie peered over.

"They were recently replaced, but they don't quite fit. The paint's dried too thickly, so someone's been opening and shutting them."

"Perhaps someone did to air the room out?"

"Yes, but as you said, it's just as you imagined it. The room is perfectly preserved, nothing's been disturbed for years, it's probably stayed the same since the Darling children went missing. Adil Rahim's mother did the same thing. In fact..."

Joseph walked over to one of the beds and picked up a pillow. He sniffed it.

"The room's aired out too much. You can't smell the children on the linens."

"You don't suppose she's washed the linens in all this time?"

"No, a mother never would. You see women are attached to the scent of their children, some relic of evolution, it creates a chemical reaction in the brain to help form an emotional attachment. All mothers do it. Mine did, my Aunt Nellie and Belle, my God, Beatrice walks within five feet and you can bet Belle will sniff her. The odor would be strongest in the linens and the children's clothes, so long as they never returned. She never would have aired the room out. So, who's been opening these doors?"

He walked back to the French doors and knelt down to look at the lock.

"Probably the same person who made it necessary for these doors to be replaced..." He ran his gloved finger along the scratch marks near the keyhole. "The same person who's been breaking in."

They heard a commotion downstairs.

"I think that might be our signal to leave," said Barrie.


"How dare you!," shouted Jenna.

"Seriously, lady, if I wanted your opinion, I would ask for it!"

They found that Jenna and Louise had cornered the woman, presumably an elderly Mrs. Darling in the front hallway.

"I only said he fit the definition of a coward."

"Do you even know what an ogre is?," asked Louise. "Have you even seen one?!"

"It's not at all like Shrek," said Jenna.

"And I'll have you know they were fighting that same stupid Ogres' War fourteen years later!," said Louise. "Why should people have to die in wars they can't win?"

"Not to mention who knows what that Duke wanted!"

"Well, then," said Joseph, "that's quite enough. Come along, ladies."

"And who are you?," Mrs. Darling protested.

"I'm Sherlock Holmes, please excuse my children," said Joseph, leading them out the door.

She looked somewhat confused as she saw Barrie. "And you are?"

"J.M. Barrie. The author?"

"I've never heard of you."

"That's something of a relief."

Just then, Louise pushed back in.

"Look, we may have had our disagreements about the Ogres' War, but I still think suffrage is an important issue you ought to take seriously."

"Louise!," Joseph called.

"Sorry about that," Barrie said apologetically backing out the front door.


Here

Beatrice and Merlin ended up at the edge of Storybrooke Cemetery. He stopped and turned.

Beatrice shrugged. "So, got anything?"

"You know you're the result of the longest line of True Love in the Enchanted Forest?" He waved his hand dismissively. "Again, not starting with the absolute wreck on your father's side some of whom you now know personally."

"Somebody might have mentioned that, yeah."

"And that I was waiting for you for hundreds of years."

"Yeah..."

"When you were born, I said that at times you may think you don't belong, but you are exactly where you need to be. You don't see the world like others, you're afraid of the dark so you never let the light go out-"

"How did you know I was going to be afraid of the dark when I was just born?"

"I see the future, remember? I then said that you are exactly what I have been waiting for."

"Okay..."

"Did you ever wonder why?"

"No," Beatrice admitted in a tiny voice.

"And you never would. Because the Dark Princess would never dream to ask for glory."

Beatrice didn't speak, staring very carefully at her grandfather.

"Do you remember when I said the Blue Fairy and I were at the Enchanted Forest at the beginning?"

"Yes."

"At that time, there was a mechanism set in place, someone to rule between good and evil, to mete out justice. This person was called the Author."

"Wait, so Regina's thing was right?"

"Yes, Regina's thing was right."

"Sorry, just didn't see that coming."

"And so it was, but the problem became the notion of justice. Was justice, the distinction between good and evil or the difference between heroes and villains? Unfortunately the Author decided the latter. Now, of course, every force must have an opposing force and the Author's opposing force was the Dark Princess."

Beatrice stared at her grandfather.

"What?"

"You see, the game never changes, it's rigged. The heroes always win and the villains always lose, no matter of what anyone is actually owed. The Author writes it all down in his book, except for one."

"But you said my book was-" Beatrice stopped mid-sentence and could see Merlin nod as she became aware of the implication. "You're saying this Author can't... write me?"

"No, which means that the only way the Author gets defeated is by you. The destiny of the Dark Princess is to defeat the Author. Your whole life has been a master class in heroes and villains. In the Author's tale, your parents are from opposing sides, but you know better because they've always been on the same side, your side. So he's tried to toy with you, to turn you ever so slightly as much as he could because if you were a villain, nobody would listen to you."

"And that's why Joseph's dead," said Beatrice. "Because of me."

"No, not because of you. Because that's what the Author wanted, that's what he thinks is going to turn you dark, but you know better."

"Merlin!"

They turned to see Emma and David running towards them.

Merlin sighed. "What, Savior? We're sort of in the middle of something."

David looked at him severely. "Are you, Regina and Gold holding a hostage in the vault?"

"Belle's helping," said Merlin.

It was then that Merlin vanished. Emma and David looked to her.

"To be fair, I just found out this morning," said Beatrice. "So, I guess I've been an accessory that long."

"Beatrice..." said Emma.

"And it's Professor Moriarty."

Emma and David stared at her.

"Who?," asked David.

"Okay, why does no one in this town read or watch British television?," asked Beatrice.


There

Joseph and Louise stood hidden, concealed by the shadow of another terrace house across from the Darlings.

"Katniss."

Louise looked up. "Excuse me?"

"I'm working through a list of possibilities."

"No, she's not Katniss."

"I thought for a moment we might have called you Primrose."

"No, you didn't," said Louise. "I'm somewhat grateful."

"Oh?"

"I'm not much of a Primrose."

"No, I suppose not." He paused. "So, your name fits you, does it?"

"I think so." She looked back up at the balcony. "Who do you suppose opens the doors?"

"Who do you suppose?"

"Obviously someone who wants in."

"And why would anyone want that?"

"Sentiment."

"Then you know there's only three possibilities." He looked at her again. "Why are you mad at Jenna?"

"Because she didn't think she needed magic until she wanted a magical solution to her problems."

"Is that how you ended up in the Dark Forest?"

"Yes."

"How?"

Louise looked up. "Did you see Dark Water? Doctor Who?"

"No."

"I wrote a spell that enchanted a magic bean to go wherever someone the caster was thinking about was. Jenna chose and that's how we go to the Dark Forest."

"Because she was thinking of Moriarty?"

Louise nodded. "Of course she didn't know he was Moriarty... She just thought she loved him and lost him." Her eyes turned upwards. "There!"

Joseph followed and she pointed. Someone was going in the Darling nursery.

"Let's go," he said.

"No, I've got this," said Louise, grabbing his hand and they vanished off the sidewalk.


Here

Moriarty found himself standing next to Merlin at the town line.

"We meet at last," said Merlin.

"You know the others will be awfully upset," said Moriarty.

Merlin shrugged. "I'm accustomed to that."

"Well, you've got me out here," said Moriarty, "what are you going to do to me?"

"The question is, what are you going to do to me?," said Merlin. "You aren't safe inside Storybrooke. You know that. A toddler with a toad potion could defeat you here."

"What about outside?"

"I suppose that would depend." Merlin waved his hand, freezing Moriarty in place. "The boy. Is he dead?"

"Dead is dead."

"And what do you intend to do to Doctor Watson?"

"Watson isn't my focus."

"Then what is?"

"You know what. The Author wants a villain. Every story needs one and what a villain she will make..."

"Grandpa!"

Merlin sighed as he heard cars coming up behind him.

Moriarty groaned. "Well, that's boring. She's come to play the hero again."

Merlin turned to see Beatrice, running up with Belle, Gold, Pamela and Regina.

"Big yawn, Beatrice," said Moriarty. "Come on. You need more pizazz. A catchphrase. Leather? Your father knows all about that."

Beatrice shook her head at him. "Okay, you're weirding me out."

"Heroes and villains, Beatrice. Heroes and villains. I would say you need to pick a side, but you keep picking the wrong one." He scoffed. "Who wants to be a hero? You've got to give a lot of boring speeches and always do the right thing. All the time! Not to mention the heroes are usually stupid, don't know if you've noticed."

"I don't care about being a hero."

"What?," asked Belle.

"Oh, there's hope for her," said Moriarty.

Beatrice shrugged. "The heroes are the ones who get all the credit, I don't care about the credit."

A wry smile played at Merlin's lips

Moriarty was not convinced. "Okay, now you're just being silly."

Beatrice walked closer. "I just want to do the right thing and it's your lucky day because today that means saving John Watson."

Moriarty squinted. "You're sort of missing the point."

Just then, a car pulled up to the town line.

Moriarty shrugged. "My ride."

Beatrice walked back to Merlin. "You've got to let him go."

"And you're sure of that?"

"Not really, I just know we're at an impasse. He's crazy."

Merlin released the holding spell.

Moriarty stepped over the town line and bowed with a flourish.

"Oh, your highness?"

Beatrice turned. "What?"

Two armed men stepped out of the car as Moriarty walked backwards.

"I might have forgotten to mention one teensy little detail. See, I have no intention of letting John Watson go. If you want to see John Watson alive again, you'll just have to come get him."

"What realm?"

"What realm? Don't be silly. London. I want you to come and watch him die. I want you to have to live with the failure. I want you to live with the knowledge that you've not only failed your True Love, you failed his brother, his best friend when he never failed you." Moriarty shrugged. "Then again, that's the difference between heroes and villains."


There

Joseph found himself in Darling nursery, across from a man in glasses.

He didn't seem surprised to see Joseph.

"So, let me guess." He looked between them. "You want a portal home."

"Yeah, that sounds good," said Louise.

"No portals here. Moriarty's request."

"Moriarty?," asked Joseph. "I thought you'd more or less be allying yourself with Peter Pan."

"You thought wrong, Mr. Holmes."

"So, Mr. Darling, tell me this, why don't you just come home?"

"I can't do that until I make sure you don't."

He drew a gun and Joseph again felt Louise's hand on his wrist. They were back on the pavement as Jenna and Barrie ran towards him.

"Who was it?," asked Jenna.

"The Darlings are somehow working with Moriarty," said Louise.

"What?," asked Barrie.

"Exactly how many people is the Author going to ally himself with?," asked Jenna.

"The Author is fighting for his survival," said Joseph. "I would say as many as it takes."


There

After Moriarty was seen off and the Storybrooke Sheriff's Department placated, the Golds returned home. Beatrice vanished upstairs as her parents tried to decide what to do.

"What do we do?," Belle asked.

Gold stared at her incredulously. "Do you want to call up London and tell them that John Watson has been kidnapped by Professor Moriarty and Doctor Facilier? The latter of whom we know from the Half Sunk Kingdom?"

"Well, we can't just do nothing," she shot back.

Pamela came down the staircase.

"What is it you think we can do, Belle?"

"I think this might affect your argument," said Pamela.

Belle sighed and looked at the nanny. "What is it?"

"She's packing."

"She's packing?," Gold asked incredulously. "To go where?"

"Judging by the fact that she has two search windows open for Kayak and Orbitz and has asked where her Wellies and her passport are, I'm going to say London."

Belle rushed up, followed by Gold. Beatrice did have the computer on, throwing things into an open suitcase as the dog stared.

"What are you doing?," asked Belle.

"Checking Orbitz. Why is it none of these flights leave until like seven-thirty at night? I obviously can't make it to Boston now, but I have to wait all day tomorrow?"

"You can't go to London," said Gold.

"Why? Am I doing something else?"

He shook his head at her. "Moriarty wants you there."

"Moriarty doesn't know me," said Beatrice. "I'm starting to think the Author doesn't know me all that well, probably because he's not my Author."

Gold stepped forward. "It is a faraway land with no magic. There's no point in you going."

"Beatrice, this really isn't a good time for you to go on a trip, given our discussion last night," said Belle.

"Your mother's absolutely right."

Beatrice threw a sweater into the bag.

"I don't have school. I don't have a True Love. I pretty much don't have a future I can foresee at the moment. What I have is this. I'm going to save John Watson."

"She is so like you," Gold grumbled at his wife.

Belle looked at her daughter as she continued throwing clothes into her suitcase.

Belle looked at Gold. "Do we have passports?"

"Oh, tell me you're not serious."

"I can't let her go alone."

"This isn't like hunting a yaoguai. At no point will there be fairy dust."

"That's okay, sunshine."

They turned to see that on the other side of the bed, Merlin had helped himself into Beatrice's chair and was searching the TARDIS fridge for a can of Coke.

"I'm happy to go if you're afraid."

"I am just asking what it is we are going to do in a Land Without Magic."

"You might be surprised," he said, taking a sip of his drink. In his other hand he held up a stack of passports. "They were in town hall. Probably because Regina has no idea how things actually work. They look fairly legitimate. I don't think they'll pose a problem."

"Oh, good," said Gold. "There's only a slight chance we'll be imprisoned.

"Even if you are, it will be better than where the Charmings put you. Honestly, no lighting, no ventilation, no entertainment..." He took a long sip and stared at Gold. "So, are you in or out, sunshine?"

"Of course I'm in," he snapped.

"Good," said Merlin. "You can buy the tickets. I like window seats."