And for the promised, weekly update, we have Chapter 5! I'm already blown away by the support and appreciate every review, like, follow and PM I have gotten! Thank you, Thank you! I'm starting to get an idea of a timeline for the next few chapters so I can tell you that they'll be quite a lot going on. Just something to look forward to! I plan on having one maybe two more chapters before we pick up on a few events from Season 1. And now:::::
Chapter 5
Mom woke me up early the next morning, earlier than I would have cared to be awake after the post-party lack of sleep followed by a night of endless thinking. I felt sluggish as I got dressed in jeans and an old band t-shirt which I had to promise to change out of before dinner. Mom eyed me curiously as I propped my elbow on the car door and yawned.
"What's keeping you up, baby? You've got to get some sleep." Mom said after my third yawn before we made it to the grocery store. I leaned back against the seat and closed my eyes.
"How am I supposed to sleep, Mom? It was fine the first night back but it caught up with me again. He's still gone." I said, tired of talking about it. Contrary to what I'd always told patients in the past, it doesn't help to talk about it.
"He is still gone, baby. That isn't going to change. I'm sorry baby but his life ended, not yours. He wouldn't want you to stop living your life. Trust me, I've been in your shoes." Mom said, pulling into a parking spot at the store. I scoffed and bit my bottom lip to keep from crying.
"He was my life, Mom." I tossed the car door open and got out before she could say anything. I was so frustrated with feeling like a victim. I closed my eyes and tried to stay calm. We walked into the store and divided the list to get the shopping done faster. I hit the produce while Mom went to hassle the butcher. Just doing something normal like grocery shopping felt foreign to me. We were loading the bags into the trunk of the car when Mom finally stopped and looked at me.
"Baby, you've always been your own person. It makes me sad to see you like this. It's okay to miss him but you need to find yourself again." Mom's voice was soft which had my attention. I nodded and gave her a little smile. She was right. She glanced at me as we got back in the car. "Have you talked to him?"
"What? Who?" I almost choked on my bottle of water. There was no way she knew about Happy. Tara was the only other person that knew anything and she still didn't know everything. Mom raised her brow.
"Clay, Alexis. Who did you think I meant?" There it was. I went and peaked her curiosity and I knew that meant she'd be watching me like a hawk, trying to figure out what I was keeping from her. I groaned and shook my head.
"No, I've been lucky enough to avoid him so far." I said, pursing my lips. She sighed and started driving back to her house. I knew he would be at the family dinner, it was his house. Our problems went back to just after Dad died. Clay came into our family too fast and tried to make out like he'd belonged there since the beginning. He barely showed me any attention unless he was scolding me for this or lecturing me about that. When I announced that I had been accepted to Duke, all he had to say was that he wasn't paying for it; that I could go to college around here or I could pay for it myself. That was a big reason why I visited so infrequently after I left Charming. I was a full time student with two jobs, even if I'd had the time to come home, I didn't want to. "Do you need my help in the kitchen?"
"No, I wasn't planning on remodeling so I don't think we need a fire. Oh. Lexie, I didn't mean." She sounded flustered and I knew she didn't mean any harm by the joke. I smiled and managed to laugh a little.
"Mom, it's fine. I'm just going to go out for a little while. I'll be back in time to change." I said, giving her a hug after closing the refrigerator. She nodded, obviously still concerned about what she'd said. She was right though. I was horrible in the kitchen. I sent a quick text message before getting in the Mustang and heading out of towards the mountains. I stopped at a gravel pull-off and waited, wondering if he was going to show up or not. I knew there was a chance he wouldn't be able to but an even bigger possibility was that he just wouldn't want to. After waiting in the car for a few minutes, I got out and started walking down towards the overlook. It was one of my favorite places around Charming.
"You going to run this time?" I turned around and shrugged my shoulders. He nodded and started walking towards me. I tensed, unsure of what he was planning to do. He braced his hands on the railing right beside me and looked out over Charming. I relaxed and let out the breath I'd been holding in. "Why here?"
"Same reason we met here before. It's private." I said, resting my butt on the top of the railing. He looked over at me and raised his brow. I rolled my eyes. "There's more than one thing people need privacy for, Happy."
"I know but at least you relaxed." He said, turning around and sitting on the rail. I smirked and agreed with a nod. "What now?"
"I don't know, Happy. We didn't exactly stop talking on good terms." I said, twisting my spoon ring around my thumb.
"You mean when you left or when I came out to see you and you told me to go to hell?" His voice was still level but I could tell he was still bothered by both instances.
"Both, I guess. More the second one though. You knew I was leaving the first time, you just didn't like it." I pointed out, shifting at least some of the blame away from me. He cut his eyes over at me but didn't say anything. "What did you want me to do? Stay here and see you every few weeks or months when you came down from Tacoma?"
"You told me to come out here so you could ask stupid questions?" He growled, pushing away from the rail. I took a deep breath and told myself not to snap back at him. "What do you want, Alexis?"
"I want to clear the air between us, Hap. I just don't want you to hate me anymore." I knew I sounded like a little kid but I couldn't find any better way to put it. He shook his head and walked back towards his motorcycle. "Damnit you jackass. Just say it. Say you hate me for leaving and we can both go on about our lives."
"Really, Lexie? That's what we've been doing for years. You got married, remember? If that's not going on about your life I don't know what is." He said, slamming his helmet onto his seat. I scoffed and motioned towards him.
"Yeah, I guess you think I got what I deserved." I snapped, storming towards the car to get as far away from him as possible. He slammed the door shut before I barely had it open.
"What are you talking about?" He asked, holding the door closed. I blinked a couple times, wondering how he hadn't heard yet. I let my hand drop from the door handle then crossed my arms over my stomach. "Lexie."
"He died last week." I realized it didn't hurt as much to say it as I expected. Happy slid his hand down the door and I could see the confusion etched across his forehead. "That's what I get, huh?"
"I'm an asshole, Lexie, not a sociopath." He sighed and shook his head. "I'd never want you to hurt. I didn't know."
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed you knew." I said, feeling horrible for attacking him. He nodded and slowly pulled me into his arms just like he had the day before. I took a deep breath and let myself find some comfort in his hug. He held me close but not tightly, letting me know I could leave if I wanted to. It was different than when we were younger; back then we would have either been ignoring each other or hooking up. There was rarely, if ever, any middle ground with us. I glanced up at him to say thank you but couldn't find the words. His dark eyes seemed warm unlike the ice cold looks he was giving me during our short-lived fight. I knew there was still a lot left unsettled between us but it could wait. I wasn't leaving for another week. I moved to speak but found my lips searching for his and stepped back quickly. He dropped his arms to his side and watched me carefully.
"Nothing happened, Lexie." His voice was low, as if he was trying to calm a wild animal. I swallowed, trying to wet my throat that seemed to be closing up.
"I need to go change for dinner." I said, reaching for the door. He stepped aside and made no move to try and stop me. I nodded and tried to give him a small smile that didn't quite reach my lips. He was putting his helmet on when I looked back in the rearview mirror as I drove away.
"I'm an idiot." I told Tara as I cradled my cellphone with my shoulder. I had to tell someone about what had just happened, just to get it off my chest. I told her everything, including how I really wanted to turn back.
"Lexie, you aren't an idiot. You are in a really vulnerable state and you two have history. I'd go as far to say it's probably normal to feel like you want to be with him." Tara was being clinical and I was almost angry with her for it. I needed Tara the friend not Tara the doctor, unfortunately we doctors weren't the best at separating our personalities like that. I glanced up in the rearview mirror again and noticed blue lights behind me. I groaned.
"Charming's finest is pulling me over. Lunch tomorrow?" I asked, pulling onto the shoulder of the road. Tara chuckled and agreed to lunch before I ended the call. I caught a glimpse of Happy pulling his bike over in front of my car as I got my license and registration out for the officer.
"Do you know why I pulled you over?" I squinted my eyes, trying to see the officer's face through the blinding sun. It was Hale. Wonderful, I thought. He'd had a crush on Tara when we were in school and I let it slip to Jax. Well, I actually just told Jax flat out one day in the hallway before class but the point was that Hale got his ass kicked and he blamed me for it as much as he blamed Jax.
"Because you have a grudge against me." I offered, passing my stuff to him before he could even say anything. He looked over my license and I saw his brow rise.
"Georgia, huh? Didn't know the Sons had a charter out that far." He commented before walking back towards his jeep. I rolled my eyes at him while Happy walked back towards my car.
"Less than a week in town and you're already getting into trouble." He said, no doubt trying to ease some of the tension that had boiled up between us. I laughed and shrugged my shoulders.
"I'm still a Teller after all." I admitted. He let out a short laugh and leaned against the car. "Are you coming to Mom's dinner tonight?"
"Yeah, your Mom is one of the last people I'd want to piss off." He said with a small smirk. I always thought it was funny how these big, tough bikers were afraid of my mother. I understood their reasoning but that didn't make it any less entertaining. "Why don't we go for a ride later?"
"You don't remember what just happened back there?" I asked with slight shake of my head. He shrugged.
"Nothing happened, Lexie. It's just a ride." He said, honoring me with a very rare but very wonderful Happy Lowman smile. I couldn't help myself and nodded in agreement.
"Okay, okay." I said with a laugh as Hale walked back up to the car. Happy took a couple steps back but stayed close while Hale handed me my stuff. He looked at Happy cautiously. I knew that Happy wasn't exactly like my brother and the others. I knew what he was for the club but I also knew there was more to him than just the tattoos on his abs and what he'd done to earn them. Most people never saw that side of him though.
"I'm letting you off with a warning, Mrs. Teller-Grant. Watch your speed." Hale said before walking away. I tapped my license on the steering wheel, wondering what I was supposed to do about my name now. Happy knocked on my windshield, startling me out of my thoughts.
"Stop thinking. I'll see you at your Ma's." He said, walking to his bike. I smiled, thankful for his friendship. We'd never managed to be friends without benefits before but I was determined to make it work this time. I drove straight back to Mom's and snuck down the hall before she could question me about where I'd gone and with who. I got in the shower and laughed at the idea of sneaking into my room at twenty seven years old. I got dressed and braided my hair back into a loose French Braid before stepping into a pair of heeled boots and heading into the kitchen. It was almost time for everyone to start showing up so it seemed pretty safe.
"Lexie, who you dressing up for?" Jax asked with a wicked grin. I flipped him a bird as Mom turned around to look at me.
"What? It's just a shirt and jeans." I said, looking down at my outfit. Mom laughed and folded her arms across her chest.
"Sweetheart that's silk and a second skin you're calling jeans. You look good though baby." She gave Jax a pointed look, letting him know not to pick on me. He rolled his eyes and took a long drink from his beer bottle. I sat down on the stool next to Jax and watched Mom finish cooking. Someone, probably Jax, had already been ordered to set the table so there wasn't much left to do.
"Hey Sexy Lexie, what are you doing doll face?" Tig gave me a kiss on the cheek as he set a pack of beer on the counter in front of Jax. I rolled my eyes and pushed him away with my boot.
"That nickname is so unoriginal, Tigger." I teased back. He gave me a bright smile before going to say hi to Mom. I remember telling Jax that I'd wished Mom and Tig had gotten together after Dad died instead of she and Clay. He'd called me crazy but I could still see some chemistry there.
"Alexis, I was starting to think Gemma was imagining you back in town." Clay said, walking in and patting my shoulder with a laugh. I resisted telling him off and forced a tight smile. Mom gave him a quick kiss on the lips as he grabbed her ass. I wanted to hurl. Jax handed me a beer and nodded towards the back porch. I followed him out and pulled out a cigarette from the pack Jax offered me. I started patting my pockets for a lighter.
"Trust me, there ain't one there baby." Tig said with a wink. I rolled my eyes and caught the lighter Happy tossed me as he walked out onto the porch. "Thought you weren't smoking anymore."
"I don't too much. Just now and then." I said, tossing the lighter back to Happy. I smirked when he caught it despite looking me up and down. "I've got to ask, what's up with the hair, kid?"
"What? I'm probably older than you." The guy with the Mohawk said. I'd met him at the party but I couldn't remember his name after all the beer and whiskey. "What's wrong with my hair."
"Nothing, princess. She's just jealous." Bobby said with a booming laugh. I smiled and climbed up on the porch railing as the prospect walked out to join us behind Chibs. Chibs gave me a kiss on either cheek before lighting his cigarette off of mine. It felt nice just to hang out with the guys.
"I like your shirt." The prospect said nervously. Everyone started laughing and I gave them a stern look.
"Thank you." I said politely. I could tell he was a little nervous. I was never the mean girl growing up and didn't plan on starting any time soon. Jax shook his head and pulled the prospect into a headlock.
"Sister is off limits, prospect." He shoved him forward playfully as Mom called for everyone to come in for dinner. Happy followed me inside and I could practically feel his eyes on my ass. I pretended not to notice and sat down beside Jax, refusing to make eye contact with Happy. "Who said you could sit by me?"
"I did. Princess rules, remember?" I giggled as he elbowed me in the ribs. Whenever we would bet on something when we were kids, I would always bet princess rules. That meant that if I won, he would have to follow my rules for a whole day. Mom got in on it and made him do it if he was being mean to me too. Jax just shook his head and offered me the basket of bread. I took a slice with a smile and passed the basket on to the Prospect who was sitting on the other side of me.
"Before you all start stuffing your faces, I just wanted to say a couple things. Lexie, we're glad to see you back but I'm sure we all wish it was under better circumstances. It's meant the world to your mother to have you back around. If you ever need anything, you know all you have to do is ask." Clay raised his glass to, followed by everyone else. I felt my cheeks burning a little as I raised my glass and said thank you. "Alright, eat before my old lady's hard work gets cold."
"So, you're a doctor?" The prospect asked a few minutes into dinner. I nodded, unable to answer with my mouth full. "That's awesome. The doctor that saved my nut was a woman."
"Um, yeah. That's really great." I said, unable to look at the meatball on my plate. Jax reached behind me and lightly shoved the kid's head.
"You're an idiot. No one wants to hear about that shit at dinner." Jax said, shaking his head as he turned back to his plate. Tig laughed.
"You want this one, sack? It's a little bigger than you're used to though." Tig said, holding up a meatball on the end of his fork. I laughed along with everyone else, including the prospect. We were actually managing to have a family dinner without any fighting or bickering. I was pleasantly surprised. "So, when are you leaving us, baby?"
"I fly out Sunday. I've got to get back to work or my whole residency year has to start over." I explained. I noticed Mom frown and wished that there was a way to avoid hurting her. It was going to be hard for me to go back to. It couldn't be avoided though. "Mom, do you need some help with dessert?"
"Sure, baby. Jackson, gather up the plates." She said, pointing to the table of empty plates. Jax grumbled under his breath but started doing as she said. If we had been at the clubhouse he probably would have ordered the prospect to do it. This wasn't the clubhouse though. This was home.
After everyone's stomachs were full, the guys shared a few drinks as I helped Mom clean up after dessert. I loaded the last plate into the dishwasher and noticed that she was watching the group of guys talking over a post-dinner beer and smoke. She seemed to be studying them. I walked up and stopped beside her, wondering what she was thinking.
"It was good to see you smiling and laughing at dinner, baby. I don't know what happened between this morning and now, but I'm glad it did. I love you, sweetheart." She took my hand and gave it a little squeeze before going outside and joining Clay and everyone else. I watched everyone for a little longer before I noticed Happy watching me. I gave him a discreet nod.
"I'm still on Georgia time and my bed is calling my name." I announced, wrapping my arm around Jax's back to give him a side hug. He kissed the top of my head before letting me go to say goodbye to everyone else. I gave Tig a quick hug and squeezed Bobby's hand before heading back inside with a wave to everyone else. I changed into a plain, white t-shirt and my leather jacket before grabbing my helmet and slipping out of the front door. I lingered in the shadows for a few minutes, watching the prospect and Juice leave before Happy walked outside. He looked right at me and waved me to him. As soon as my ass hit the bike and my arms wrapped around him, he gunned it out of the driveway.
