A/N This chapter sets up quite a few things that will be in motion during the next chapter and chapters to come. Again, I thank you all very much for the reviews and hope you continue to like it enough to review, follow and like. You all rock :) Now:::::
Chapter 10
I knew it was a dream, but I couldn't help wishing it was real. I was back in New Orleans with Hank, just like our honeymoon. He had the same farmer's tan, the kind of tan you get from staying in the sun wearing a t-shirt all the time, and the bright smile that I had fallen in love with so quickly. There was nothing out of place, no detail left out. Even the tattoos on his arms and back looked as real as everything else. It always amused me that his mother tolerated his various tattoos but never my one. Under any other circumstances, I would have enjoyed the dream but that was the problem. I knew it was a dream from the second I saw him.
"Do you know what I want, Lex? More than anything?" I cherished hearing his voice calling me by that name. He was the only one that ever got away with it. I ran my hand over his cleanly shaven face. He hated that he could never grow much of a beard. "I want you to be happy, Lex. No matter what that looks like in the future. If you want a dog, we'll get five. If you want kids we'll have ten. As long as you're happy, then I can't ask for anything else."
"You're gone, Hank. What am I supposed to do without you?" I looked into his pale green eyes, wishing I could just stay in the dream with him and not have to deal with reality. He nodded and put his hand on top of mine, only I couldn't feel it.
"I just want you to be happy, Lex." He smiled and that was the last of the dream I could remember. I woke up feeling drained and unrested. The sheets were thrown every which way and the pillowcase was damp with tears. I rolled over onto my back and took a deep breath, trying to recover. I heard movement outside in the hallway and considered pretending to be asleep and staying in the bed to sulk. Instead, I pulled on some gym shorts and walked out into the hallway.
"Morning." Tara said, walking past me quickly. I grunted and followed her into the kitchen where she looked at me over her cup of coffee. "Didn't sleep well?"
"Shit. I'm sorry if I woke you up, Tara. I don't know why I'm having dreams about him again. They stopped for a while." I said, feeling guilty for costing her precious sleep. She shook her head and gave me a sympathetic smile.
"You don't need to apologize. I still have nightmares that Josh is going to find me. You can't help your dreams, Lexie." She finished her coffee and rinsed the mug out in the sink before putting it in the dishwasher.
"It wasn't even a nightmare though. It was our honeymoon." I said, feeling defeated. Tara frowned and paused at the end of the counter. I closed my eyes and shook my head. "Just when I think I might be able to move on one day."
"You will, Lexie. Just don't rush it. You know, dreaming about him may not mean that you shouldn't move on. Maybe it's your mind trying to give you closure." Tara picked up her bag and brought the strap onto her shoulder. "I'm sorry, I'm running late for work."
"No, no, it's fine. I may see you when I stop by to see Abel later." I said, giving her a wave as she headed towards the door. Once she left, I found myself feeling a little nervous. I couldn't put my finger on why though. I had been to Tara's house plenty of times, both when we were younger and since coming back to Charming. It was in a safe part of town, not that there were many unsafe parts aside from out towards the trailers the Nords stayed in. Something definitely had me on edge though. I checked all the doors and went down the hall to shower, hoping to wash the feeling away.
"Hey, where's Tara?" Jax asked as I opened the front door with my hair still dripping. I had heard his motorcycle pulling up and rushed to get out of the shower. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little disappointed that it was Jax.
"She's at work. Looking for some morning action?" I asked with a wink. He rolled his eyes and walked inside. I noticed he wasn't glancing around or checking the place out. Obviously he had been there recently. "Is everything okay?"
"What? Yeah, yeah it's fine. I was just around the corner. Thought she might need a ride or something." Jax said, trying to play it off. I laughed and he sighed, sliding his forearms over the countertop. "I went to go see Abel and had some blood on my kutte and jacket. You would think she didn't know anything about the club."
"Jax. Knowing about the club and wanting to have it right in your face is completely different, especially when you've been away from it for a while. You could have at least changed before you went over there." I said, not surprised by Tara's reaction. Not only could the club's way of life be overwhelming at times, it had to be a little upsetting for him to come to her work place like that.
"It was a hard night, princess. I just wanted to see the kid. Make sure he was okay." Jax said dropping his head and staring at the counter. I sighed and swung my hip into him, earning myself a dark glare. I gave him a Teller smile and leaned back against the counter he was leaning on.
"Jax, it's Tara. She knows the club but that doesn't mean she doesn't need some time to adjust to it again. If you really want to be with her, then you'll make it work. Just be sure before you start something, if you haven't already. You have to be in it 100 percent." I said, hoping he would actually listen. I loved my brother but I knew he could be a total playboy and I didn't want to see he or Tara get hurt. He nodded and turned around, leaning back against the counter beside me.
"What's it going to take to get you to stay, Lexie?" He looked over at me as I took a deep, shoulder raising breath and held it in for a minute. "Charming isn't the same without you, Lexie."
"Jax, I have a home in Georgia. I can't just pick up and move." I said, trying to convince myself of the same thing.
"No, Lexie. You have a house in Georgia. It's different. Home is where your family is." Jax pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head. "Just think about it. Oh, and you're coming to Fun Town with us tomorrow."
"Fun Town? They still have that?" I asked with a laugh. We never missed a Fun Town when we were growing up. I distinctly remembered getting kicked out on several occasions. We always snuck back in though.
"Yeah, of course they do. Opie should be bringing Donna and the kids so you can meet them." Jax said, walking slowly towards the front door.
"Oh, that should go over like a lead balloon. You know Donna never liked me." I said with a laugh. I didn't really have any hard feelings towards her but she never liked that Opie and I remained friends after we broke up. We weren't even together for six months and it was a stupid high school fling but she never trusted me around him because of it. "I'll go. I don't know when I'll be around for another one."
"Good, I'll see you there." He said with a smile before jogging out to his bike. I loved seeing my brother happy. Every time I talked to him on the phone the last few years, he's sounded stressed; like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. I found myself scanning the road and yard, still unable to shake the uneasy feeling I had. After failing to find anything out of place, I went back inside and locked the door before going back to the bathroom to dry my hair.
I headed to the hospital with the windows down in the Mustang and my hair blowing in the wind. The weather couldn't have been better. It was sunny and warm but there wasn't any suffocating, sticky humidity like there was in Georgia. It was no wonder why there were so many motorcycle clubs in California and up and down the West Coast. The weather was perfect for it. I remembered Dad telling me about the weather in Vietnam and how every day he just wanted to be on the beach and out of the jungle. From the stories he told me, he was a real hippie back in his younger years. I wondered if Jax would have been the same way if he wasn't in the club.
"Lexie, I thought we might see you today." Abel's attending physician said as I walked into his room. He was getting bigger every day and was starting to make facial expressions and eye contact. I smiled down at him as she wrapped him in a blanket. "He's doing great. We were actually able to decrease his oxygen this morning."
"That's great." I said, taking him into my arms to hold him for a couple minutes. "Is there any estimate on when he might be going home?"
"Well, if things keep going this well, I wouldn't rule next week out." She said, signing something off in his chart.
"Did you hear that, Abel? You may be getting to come home soon." I said softly. He yawned and started to close his eyes. "Well, hopefully he'll be a little more excited by then."
"Well, he did just eat and take a bath." The doctor said with a laugh. I smirked and laid him down in his little bed. "Dr. Grant, do you mind if I ask you something personal?"
"I may but you can ask and we'll see." I said with a shrug. She smiled lightly and nodded her head.
"I understand you are here for your nephew and your family. Tara told me that you were planning on going back to Atlanta sometime after Abel goes home, is that right?" I nodded, wondering where she was going with her questioning. "I understand that Saint Thomas is no Emory but we could really use a surgical intern. I just wanted to put that bug in your ear."
"I appreciate that. I've considered moving back but I have a house outside of Atlanta and everything." I wasn't really sure what the everything was. All I actually had was the house and Hank's family.
"Well, I will let you visit with Abel. It was good seeing you, Dr. Grant." She left the room and closed the door quietly behind her. I took a deep breath and sat down in the chair next to Abel's bed. He was already sound asleep.
"What do you think, buddy? It's not like I have a job to go back to. Plus, you're here." I said quietly as I gently ran my finger over his hand. "We'll just see how it goes. Okay?"
I stayed in the room with Abel for about an hour, just talking things through with him. He was a great listener and it really helped to talk things over out loud, even if he was just a baby. I left the room when the nurses came in to check on him, not wanting to get in their way. In the mood to clear the air, I headed down to Wendy's room to finally have a talk about what she had done. She was watching television when I walked into the room.
"Your Mom already made it pretty clear what you all think of me." She said. Her words were strong but her voice wavered. I nodded and closed the door behind me to give us some privacy. "Come to try and finish me off?"
"No. I came to tell you that you will not see your son. You won't come back to my brother's house when you're discharged. You won't have anything more to do with my family. I warned you, Wendy. The only reason I'm not rearranging your face is because I've realized that you do more damage to yourself than I could ever do to you." I kept my voice calm and even which only seemed to unnerve her more.
"He's my son, Alexis. You can't keep him from me." Wendy said, pushing herself to sit up straight in the bed. I nodded and closed the blinds before walking over to the side of her bed. I grabbed one of her IV lines and held it up to her.
"Do you know what just a little pocket of air in this line would do? First, it would roll through your veins, causing it to feel like your body was on fire. Then, in a couple minutes, it would reach your heart and that would be it. There would be no coming back from it. No one to pull you back from the edge. You would just be gone." I was exaggerating almost everything I was telling her, but she didn't know that. Her eyes were the size of saucers as I twisted the hose around my finger. "This is a chance for you to start over, Wendy. Go get sober, make something of your life. Build a life for yourself, Wendy."
"Alexis, please." Wendy's heart rate starting rising. I could see it on the monitor. I dropped the hose and cracked my neck.
"Don't waste your chance, Wendy. Not everyone gets second chances." She dropped her head and I could see tears falling down her cheeks. I nodded and opened the blinds back. "Do yourself and your son a favor and listen to me. I won't be this nice next time."
I left her room with mixed emotions. Part of me wanted to go back in there and choke the life out of her while another part of me wanted her to get her shit together, as long as it was away from Charming. It hit me on the way to the parking lot that I couldn't be there for Abel if I was on the other side of the country. What kind of aunt would I be if I just left as soon as he got home? My head started to spin. I wasn't any better than Wendy if I abandoned him. I chewed on the inside of my cheek as I buckled into the driver's seat.
I went back to Tara's after driving around for a little while, trying to decide what to do. I didn't have any answers by the time I pulled into the driveway but I was tired of driving around aimlessly. I started cleaning the kitchen and then worked on my laundry. Cleaning let me focus on the task at hand instead of everything else going on. It had always been a type of escape for me. When Tara got home, her eyes went wide at the progress I had made.
"Sorry, I may have gotten a little hyper-focused." I said, looking around the living room. Her dad's boxes were still there but they were stacked neatly in a corner and I had labeled them as best I could. Tara hung her jacket in the closet and shook her head.
"If this is you hyper-focused, you don't ever need to apologize for it. Are you sure you have to go back to Atlanta? I've never seen this place so clean." Tara said with a laugh as she toed off her shoes and set them by the door. I laughed and ran my hand over the back of my neck. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing. Nothing's wrong. I went to see Abel today and his doctor was talking to me about St Thomas needing a surgical intern. It just got me thinking, you know? I know there are other hospitals but before she said anything I kind of saw moving back to Charming as the end of my career." I said, sitting down on the couch, feeling exhausted after I finally stopped moving. Tara nodded and sat down next to me, obviously just as tired as I was.
"The nice thing about smaller hospitals is less competition and more time to study and everything. The bad thing is you aren't going to see the same type of cases that you probably do at Emory." Tara said, staring up at the ceiling.
"Saint Thomas is here though." She rolled her head to the left and looked at me for a minute before nodding.
"Look, I would love to have you back in Charming and I think you would be great asset for the hospital. I just want to make sure you make that decision for you." Tara said with a small frown. I nodded and yawned. Tara laughed and nudged me with her elbow. "Do you want some pizza?"
"Is that a rhetorical question? Of course I do." I said, grabbing my phone to make an order. We spent the rest of the night watching home improvement shows and eating pizza. We were cleaning up the pizza boxes when I remembered Fun Town. "Tell me you don't work tomorrow."
"No, I'm off. Why?" She asked, eyeing me curiously. I sighed and rubbed my eyes to stay awake long enough to beg her to come with me. She didn't seem to convinced.
"Come on, Tara. Jax will be there." I said, fluttering my eyelashes at her. She rolled her eyes and took a deep breath.
"Fine, but you have to promise to have fun." She said, looping her arm around mine. We made our way down the hallway while I promised to have fun and keep my mom in check. "Good luck with that one. Goodnight, Lexie."
"Night, Knowles." I said, splitting off and going into the guest room. I stripped quickly and got into the bed, looking forward to Fun Town with my family and best friend.
