A/N: Again, blown away by reviews, THANK YOU. I probably won't update for a few days as we're going on a ride up through the mountains for a couple days. That being said, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I struggled with it a little but hopefully you aren't too disappointed.
Chapter 14
The more I came around from whatever chloroform-like drug Kohn used on me, the more I wanted to go back under it. My cheeks, my temples, my eyes, my ears, everything hurt tremendously. When I was finally able to open my eyes fully, I was startled by the unfamiliar surroundings. It took me a minute to realize that I was in one of the spare dorms at the clubhouse. Tara was by my side quickly, comforting me and telling me I was going to be okay.
"You're safe, Lexie. There's some bleeding and swelling but nothing seems broken. You may have a mild concussion but we'll get you through this, okay?" Tara said, taking my hand. I just nodded, my throat too sore from screaming to really talk. She carefully moved a strand of hair out of my face before she sat back down in the chair beside the bed. "I'm so sorry, Alexis. He wasn't even there for you."
"Not your fault." I whispered, the effort hurting my throat. She frowned and bowed her head. I heard the door open and looked up to see Jax walking inside the small room. He put his hand on Tara's shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze. She put her hand on top of his for a second before standing up and walking towards he door.
"I'm going to go get you some water so you can take your anti-biotic." She explained before disappearing behind the door she pulled closed. I looked and Jax and saw pity in his eyes. I looked away, hating that look. I knew what I was doing when I was egging Kohn on. Sure, it hurt and the situation sucked but I could have made it easier on myself.
"He's dead." Jax said simply. I looked over at him, unsurprised by his announcement. I knew what the outcome would be as soon as I heard his voice back at Tara's. "I should have sent somebody with you. This is on me, princess."
"Can everyone stop taking the blame? He did this. Not you. Not Tara. Kohn did." I choked out. It was so painful to speak but I was tired of the revolving blame. Jax sighed and nodded his head. I knew he was just pacifying me. He didn't believe me, not completely at least.
"Happy still hasn't pulled out of his killer mentality. He's been like stone ever since we found the Mustang in front of Tara's. I've seen him do jobs before but this was different. He had me nervous." Jax shuddered. I blinked, unaware that anyone had come with Jax to save me. He must have seen the confusion written all over my face. "I tried calling you when we got to the clubhouse. When that didn't work, Happy said he would try. He let it ring maybe three times and then barreled out of the clubhouse. I had to redline all of the gears on my bike to catch up with him."
"Where is he?" I rasped. Jax motioned back towards the hall, letting me know that he was somewhere in the clubhouse.
"He said to use his room for you and then hit the bar. I don't think he's moved since we got back last night. He's just been sitting there." Jax explained. I hated the thought of kicking Happy out of his dorm. "There's more going on between you two than just hooking up, isn't there?"
"We haven't hooked up in years, Jax. I care about him." I said, shrugging my shoulder. I hissed at the pain it sent up my neck. Jax looked surprised. "What?"
"So when you rode with him that night?" He let his question drop off, allowing me to fill in the blanks.
"We rode, we stopped, we talked, we rode back." I said, my throat feeling like someone shoved a hot coal down my throat. Jax laughed a little and I narrowed my eyes at him.
"Never saw Happy as the ride and talk kind. He better treat you right, Alexis. He does anything to hurt you and I'll kill him, brother or not." Jax said, suddenly serious. I gave him a little nod. "Do you want me to go get him?"
"Please." I whispered, nodding my head slightly. That small amount of movement sent daggers through my head. Jax nodded and placed a carefully planned kiss on my forehead. "I love you, Alexis. Don't scare me like that again."
Tara returned with some water and a few pills almost as soon as Jax left the room. I noticed her hands shaking when she offered the water and medicine to me. After a couple, slow drinks of water, my throat was feeling well enough to speak.
"Tara, please don't think that you could have done anything to stop or change this. This was just me being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I'm glad it was me and not you." My voice was still scratchy but I knew she heard me. She dropped her head and stood at the foot of the bed.
"You're like my little sister, Lexie. I hate that I didn't do something about Josh sooner. Whether you want to admit it or not, it is my fault. He never would have come to Charming if I wasn't here." Tara said, her voice wavering.
"Tara, we can play cause and effect all day, okay? It's over now. You're safe. I'm safe and may get a couple cool battle scars. It's okay." I offered her a smile which she returned hesitantly. She started checking my temperature and blood pressure without another word.
Tara was checking underneath some bandages when Happy walked in. Our eyes met and I felt like my throat was closing in again. His eyes weren't dark and cold like I had expected them to be. Instead, they were a warm shade of dark chocolate and I could see a very rare softness to his expression. Whatever stone demeanor Jax had seen was gone.
"Happy, are you sure you don't want something for your knuckles?" Tara asked, looking up at him from my bedside. I saw a flash of anger cross his face before he tore his eyes from mine.
"Why? Do you have another stalker ex-boyfriend that's going to come after Alexis?" He growled. I saw Tara's lip quiver and she looked away from him quickly.
"Don't be an ass. It isn't her fault." The water had helped my throat but it was still uncomfortable to speak. Happy looked at me and the anger seemed to fade quickly. He pushed his mint-flavored toothpick to the other side of his mouth and crossed his arms over his chest.
"I need to go check on the bleeding Irish-man in the other room." Tara said, getting up hastily. I caught her hand and she looked down at me with tears in her eyes.
"Thank you for fixing me up, Tara. You're the better surgeon today." I said, forcing myself to smile through the pain. She managed a light laugh before sidestepping Happy and walking out of the room. "Really, Happy?"
"If she had said something to Jax about that piece of shit earlier, this never would have happened." Happy said, pointing in the direction Tara had left. I shook my head, sending pain from one side to another.
"You don't know that." I argued. He grunted and sat down beside me on the mattress. I gave him my hand and laced my fingers in with his larger, ringed fingers. "Thank you for saving me."
"Wasn't just me." He said humbly. He rubbed his thumb over the back of my hand softly and we fell into a comfortable silence for a few minutes. He finally turned to look at me and shook his head. "I thought we were going to be too late."
"You weren't too late though." I said, scooting my body closer to him. "Do you think we can talk about some stuff?"
"Now, Lexie?" He asked, a groan to his voice. I lifted my shoulder and he rolled his eyes. "What are we talking about?"
"What happened earlier. Well, I guess yesterday." He nodded and I realized that the conversation was going to be a lot harder than I thought. "I like you, Happy. I always have. I like kissing you and being with you. I care about you."
"You may as well get to the but, Lexie." His voice was low and tense. I felt horrible for being so wishy-washy with him.
"I want to be with you, Hap. I just need to take things slow. I haven't given myself time to grieve." I felt tears building up in my eyes. It felt like I was breaking up with him, even though we'd never moved on to anything official. He surprised me by carefully wiping a tear off of my cheek.
"Lexie, I'm not rushing you. You kissed me, remember?" He gave me a playful smile. "I'm not going anywhere, Lexie. We can go as slow or fast as you want."
After three days of resting and healing, my bruising looked worse than ever but I was feeling better. The swelling around my eyes and the damage to my throat was all but healed and I wasn't feeling any lasting effects from the assault. Unfortunately I had to stay cooped up in Tara's house in case anyone saw the bruising and started asking questions. I watched my fill of bad reality television and cleaned everything I could. By the end of the third day, I was going stir crazy.
"Hey, sweetheart. You look horrible." Mom said, walking inside with what looked like a picnic basket. I tossed the door shut and followed her into the kitchen. "How are you feeling?"
"About the same as a few hours ago when you called and asked me how I was feeling." I quipped back. She raised her brow at me just like she did when I was a kid. I sighed and resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "Sorry, I'm just getting cabin fever."
"Well, I brought you some home cooked food and a couple magazines." She said, opening the basket. I could smell the Shepherd's Pie before I even saw it. It was what she always made me when I had to stay home sick from school. "You know Abel is coming home Friday."
"Tara told me this morning." I said, grabbing a couple bowls and forks. "Are you planning a party?"
"You make me sound predictable." Mom scoffed. I laughed and served myself a generous helping of Shepherd's Pie. I turned to the refrigerator and grabbed a beer. "You're Irish through and through."
"I get it from you and Dad. Do you want something to drink? We have beer, juice and water." I said, realizing we were reverting back to college living. She shook her head and I noticed she wasn't eating either. I pulled up a barstool and sat at the counter. "What's bothering you?"
"It's almost time for you to go back to Georgia. I'm going to miss having you around." She said, busying herself with unloading the rest of the basket of food and magazines. I twisted my mouth while swallowing down a sip of beer.
"I should have told you this sooner but then all this happened." I gestured towards my face. She was looking at me intently, hanging on to every word. "I accepted a position at Saint Thomas."
"What? Why would you do that, Alexis? You have a wonderful job at one of the top hospitals in the country. You can't throw that away, baby." It wasn't the reaction I was expecting and it caught me off guard. Of all people, I expected Mom to be the happiest that I was staying in Charming. I frowned and stabbed at my food with the fork.
"I don't have a job at Emory anymore. I haven't had one since I flew back here when Abel was born. I thought you would be happy." I felt deflated and started second guessing all of the decisions I had made leading up to that very moment.
"Sweetheart, why didn't you say anything?" Mom asked, making me feel even worse about the situation. I shrugged and took another drink of beer.
"I didn't say I lost my job because I didn't want anybody to see me as a failure. I wanted some time to decide if I was going to stay here or pick up the pieces back in Atlanta. I don't have anything left there, Mom. Hank is gone, my job is gone, seeing his family or our friends hurts too much and I can't even sleep in our room. I feel like myself here." The sadness that I had kept pushed down for the last couple weeks started to bubble over. I wanted to be in Charming for my family but I also wanted to escape Atlanta. I wanted to escape all the memories.
"Alexis." Mom took my hand and tears started falling down my cheeks. "You are not a failure. You don't ever have to worry about anyone thinking that, especially me. I'm happy you're going to be here, Lexie. I just don't want you to think it's going to stop the pain, baby. Losing someone you love hurts, especially someone you thought you'd grow old with."
"When does it stop hurting then because I can't keep dealing with the pain. I can make it through the days fine but it just bottles up and hits me at night. I can't keep doing this." I said, close to sobbing. Mom pulled me off the stool and into her arms for a motherly hug.
"It takes time, baby. That's the only thing that's going to make it hurt any less. Time and allowing yourself to mourn. You've been going, going, going ever since he passed away. You need to slow down, Alexis. Take time just for yourself." She rubbed my back and my crying started to taper off. I rested my head on her shoulder and took a couple deep breaths.
"I have to go pack everything up before I start at Saint Thomas next month. Being assaulted wasn't really part of my timeline." Sadness was giving way to frustration as I thought about everything I needed to do. Mom was probably right about taking time for myself and slowing down. I just didn't have the time to spare to do it.
"Well, let's get Abel settled in and then I'll go to Atlanta with you. Help you pack things up." Mom said, pushing me away so she could look me in the eyes. "You're going to get through this, Alexis. You're strong. You are a Teller after all."
"Thank you, Mom." I took one more deep breath and pulled myself together. "This Shepherd's Pie is really good, by the way."
"I know." She said with a wink. I laughed and ate a little more before washing the plate and putting the leftovers in the refrigerator. We talked a little about Abel's party and Wendy's departure to rehab before Mom said she had to go. "I need to finish some things at the garage."
"Is there any way I can come with you? I need to get out of the house." The garage wasn't exactly a vacation but at least it would be a change of scenery. Besides a couple visits from Jax and one from Happy, I hadn't seen anyone besides Tara and Mom since I left the clubhouse. She agreed to take me along as long as I hurried up and changed. I made it quick and just threw on a t-shirt and a pair of jeans.
"What's his problem?" I asked as Clay stormed across the lot. Juice and Tig had just arrived in a moving truck, along with a young girl I didn't know. She dressed the part of a sweetbutt so I didn't pay her much attention. Mom joined me in the doorway and watched as Clay confronted Juice. He was yelling and pointing towards the girl angrily. I noticed Mom tense beside me and put two and two together.
"That son of a bitch." Mom scoffed before walking back to her desk. I watched the scene unfolding on the lot for another minute before turning to Mom.
"I never did understand how you dealt with it. The cheating." I said openly. She looked up at me with wide, angry eyes. "I'm just calling it what it is."
"Whatever happens on the road is their business. It's supposed to stay on the road though. It's not supposed to follow you home." She spat. I shook my head. It still didn't make any sense. Changes in geography didn't change your relationship status; at least it wasn't supposed to.
"STD's and kids don't exactly 'stay on the road', Mom. Besides, shouldn't you expect the same respect you show him?" I asked, growing agitated. She sighed and motioned towards the door.
"I need to finish this, Lexie. I don't need you lecturing me on relationships." She said, I rolled my eyes and decided not to escalate the argument any further. I walked out towards the clubhouse, making sure to keep my oversized sunglasses on to cover the worst of the bruising. I smiled when I saw Happy walking towards me.
"Hey. What are you doing here?" He asked, stopping in front of me and leaving barely any space between us. I explained how tired I was of being cooped up and riding over with Mom after lunch. He nodded, his eyes following a very sullen looking Juice.
"Clay ripped him a new one for bringing a harlot here. I guess he's mad the road didn't stay in place." I said sarcastically. Happy raised his brow and looked around until he saw the girl. He nodded and then looked back at me. "Look familiar?"
"Hey, I can't control what happens on the road, Alexis. I'm not their keeper." He ran his hands down my arms and rested them on my hips. I narrowed my eyes at him, refusing to be distracted by his touch. "She's not my type, don't worry."
"Oh? What is your type, Lowman?" I tried to fight the smirk that crossed my lips. He smiled and pulled his sunglasses down over his eyes.
"Bossy, brunette, blue eyed doctors." He growled. My smirk grew into a smile as he dropped his hands from my hips. I missed his touch immediately. "When is your stuff getting here from Atlanta?"
"Mom and I are going to go get it next week sometime." I said with a shrug. He blinked and then set me with a glare. "What? I don't trust strangers to pack up my house."
"You and Gemma in Atlanta? That just sounds like trouble." He said. "Don't look all innocent, Alexis. I've known you for too long to buy that shit."
"I've calmed down a lot, Happy Lowman." He laughed and then nodded towards the garage. Mom was storming out of the office, making a beeline for Clay. "See, it's her you need to worry about."
"Nah, she's Clay's problem." He said, watching Mom yell at Clay. I tried to ignore the argument. It was nothing new for them to argue.
"Oh and what, I'm your problem?" I raised my brow and watched him grin.
"Nice try, Lexie. I'm not falling for that shit." He sighed and cracked his neck. "I'm going to Atlanta with you."
"What?" I asked. That had come straight out of left field. He shrugged and leaned back against the metal hand rail. I watched him light a cigarette before he offered me one. I hesitated but took one after a minute. He lit his zippo and let me light the cigarette off of it before sliding it into his pocket. "Why are you coming to Atlanta?"
"Because I want to." He said simply. I opened my mouth to object but couldn't find a valid reason to do so. It wasn't like I didn't like having him around and it was his choice to come, I wasn't asking him to. The biggest hurtle was going to be explaining things to Mom. She was going to have some questions and even more assumptions.
"Okay." I said, blowing out a long trail of smoke. The conversation died away as we finished our cigarettes. I stole a glance at him as the sun started setting and the last rays of light were bouncing off of his sunglasses. He was being more patient than I ever thought possible and part of me felt guilty for putting him through it. "Do you want to go somewhere?"
"Where?" He asked, looking down and over at me. I shrugged and leaned into his side. "Come on"
I took his hand as he led me towards his bike. I didn't have my helmet with me, so he handed me his while he started the bike. I tightened down the helmet strap and sat down behind him, holding on with my legs. I let my hands rest on his sides and we were off. He took a right out of the parking lot and picked up more and more speed as we got further out of town. I smiled and rested my chin on his shoulder, just enjoying the wind on my face. We rode until the sun dipped down below the horizon and the stars started shining brightly. When it started getting cooler, Happy pulled over to give me his hooded sweatshirt.
"I'm not going to lose you again, Alexis." Happy said, pushing the hood down off my head. I put my hand on his chest and looked up into his eyes.
"You aren't going to." I whispered.
