A/N: I have gotten quite a few questions and requests for more Tara/Jax. I'm trying to work that in more and hope that his chapter gives you all a little more of what you wanted. That being said, it isn't the focus of the story. With the developments in this chapter, there will certainly be more interactions between Jax and Lexie but I still can't promise too much Tara/Jax. I just want to make sure it feels natural. Hopefully I'm doing an okay job of that. Anyways, you may want to get some tissues ready for this chapter. I honestly didn't realize it was so sad until I reread it. Thank you again for the reviews, more and more please :) And now::::::::
Chapter 15
"I like that dress." Tara said as I reached down to pull on my shoes. I glanced up and gave her a smile. She had changed a couple times and finally settled on jeans and a cute shirt for Abel's party. I was wearing a knee length, royal blue shift dress and heeled sandals. "I'm really hoping Gemma doesn't make a scene tonight."
"She probably won't, it's Abel's party. Plus, Jax will be there to run interference for you." I stood up and pushed my hair behind my shoulder. Tara handed me the earrings I was planning on wearing. "Don't be nervous."
"She's not wrong to be mad at me. I should have said something about Josh. At least to Hale or Unser." Tara said, fiddling with the bottom of her shirt. I rolled my eyes and shoved the earring post through my ear. It had been a few weeks since I had worn earrings so it took a little force to get it to go through.
"I can't keep telling you it isn't your fault if you aren't going to listen." I was tired of the broken record. Tara was feeling guilty, Happy and Mom blamed her for what happened, and Jax felt the need to remind me that she never would have wanted that to happen to me. I just wanted to move on from it. I didn't see myself as the victim that everyone else did. I hoped that Abel's party would shift everyone's attention away from me. "Are you ready to go?"
"Yeah. I'll drive." She offered. I grabbed my leather bag and followed her outside to the Cutlass. The ride over to Jax's house was fairly quiet. I was tired from a long ride with Happy last night. We rode out to the bay and watched ships roll in from a rooftop for a couple hours. Once the security guard noticed we were there, we bolted and went to a diner. Neither of us realized how long we had been there until the waitress asked if we wanted to see the breakfast menu. We didn't get back to Charming until about five in the morning.
"Can you do something about your mother? She's losing her shit about paper plates." Jax said as Tara and I walked inside. We arrived about an hour before the party was supposed to start because I knew Mom would need some supervision. I nodded and walked by him as he pulled Tara into a hug. I glanced back and saw their lips locking. They were finally to the point where they weren't hiding their relationship anymore.
"Mom, what's wrong?" I walked into the kitchen to see her slamming a lid back on a dish on the stove. "Okay, breathe. It's a welcome home party for a baby. He really isn't going to care about paper plates."
"These plates needed to be a darker blue. These look like cotton candy." She said, gesturing towards the plates angrily. They were a light, sky blue and I didn't really see a problem with it.
"Do you want me to go see if I can find some different paper plates?" I offered, hoping she would say no. I felt like it was not only a waste of time but a waste of money as well. She scoffed and I raised my brow.
"He's got enough going on without her. She's just a distraction." Mom said, looking out of the window. I caught a glimpse of Jax standing behind Tara, his arms around her and his chin resting on her shoulder.
"If he's happy, then let him be happy, Mom." I said, pouring myself a glass of water. "What did Dad want out of the club? In the beginning I mean. What was his vision?"
"What?" Mom said, turning away from the window and looking at me like I had sprouted an extra nose on my forehead. I paused for a second and repeated the question. "Well, he wanted exactly what it is. Brotherhood. Where are these questions coming from?"
"It's nothing. I was just looking through some more pictures in storage and it made me wonder." I decided to change the subject quickly. "We're flying out on Monday morning, right?"
"Yes. Are you sure it's a good idea for Happy to come with us? He's not going to be uncomfortable?" Mom asked. She was thrown off when I told her Happy was going to be coming to Atlanta with us. She wasn't blind, she knew we had feelings for each other but she still wasn't behind the idea of him helping me move back.
"It's Happy, Mom. He doesn't get uncomfortable." I said with a little laugh. It wasn't as if he didn't know that I had shared the last eight years with Hank. We were just moving some furniture, clothes and odd-n-ends. "I need to talk to Jax for a minute before everyone gets here. You're sure you don't want me to try and find different plates?"
"Go." Mom said, checking the oven. I hurried out of the kitchen before she could change her mind. When I walked outside, Jax was holding Tara's hand with a smile. She looked nervous but happy.
"Did I miss something?" I asked, leaning against the porch railing. Jax looked at Tara for a second before acknowledging me.
"Tara's going to stay here and help me with Abel." He told me. I raised my brow, not expecting that. I was happy to see them back together but it seemed like things were moving pretty quickly.
"You are more than welcome to live in my Dad's house, Lexie. At least you can stay there until you get settled and find your own place." Tara offered. I nodded slowly, still a little taken aback by the pace of their relationship. I bit my bottom lip. I envied them for being able to move forward together while I was holding Happy and I back, stuck in place.
"That sounds great." I managed finally. "Jax, can I talk to you inside? I wanted to give you something."
Jax followed me through the dining room and back to Abel's nursery. It was finally finished with white furniture and a light blue paint on the walls. There were motorcycle decorations and even a motorcycle mobile over the crib. My little nephew was in his crib, sleeping soundly as I opened my leather bag. Jax's eyes widened when I handed him the manuscript.
"Dad wrote this?" He asked as he looked over the first page. I nodded and sat down in the rocker chair. "Where did you get this?"
"Storage. It was in box with manuals and receipts. That and an envelope of pictures was in there to." I explained. I watched his jaw clench as he read the dedication to he and Thomas. "There's a lot in there that I never knew about him and the club. Just, read it when you have time, okay?"
"Yeah. I will. Thanks, Alexis." He hugged me tightly and kissed the top of my head. I brushed my lips against his cheek before turning towards Abel. "I know I haven't said anything since your announcement but thank you for staying, Alexis. I know you have your own reasons but I know part of it was for me and Abel. I love you, princess."
"I love you to, Jax. Let's get back out to the party before Mom has a stroke." I said with a laugh. He smirked and put the manuscript in his bedroom before walking down the hall with me. Tara smiled when Jax rejoined her in the dining room. I watched them for a minute, the way they stood close without being all over each other, the way they just seemed happy to be around one another, it was something I wish I had. It was something I missed having with Hank.
"Where's the guest of honor?" I looked back to see Opie watching Jax and Tara from over my shoulder. I turned away to give them some privacy. "You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Abel's sleeping. Mom said that he was really fussy earlier." I explained, looking around the now crowded house. I hadn't realized so many people had shown up since Jax and I went to the nursery. "Where's Donna?"
"She's on her way with the kids. I just came from the clubhouse." He paused for a moment and rocked back on his heels. "So, you and Happy?"
"Are complicated. I'm better near to him but I'm still healing. Still grieving." I explained, my right had reflexively going to my left to twist my rings. They weren't there though. They were in a wooden box in my room at Tara's. I hadn't worn them in weeks but it still felt like they were right there on my finger.
"Just don't get yourself hurt, Lexie. Complicated isn't our strong suit." He said, shoving his hands in his front pockets with a shrug.
"Yeah, I know." I did know that. I knew that things could only stay the way they were for a short time. Complicated relationships were trying enough for normal couples. When you factored in one half of that couple being a club member, well, it only got more complicated. There were things I couldn't be privy to if I wasn't an old lady, even though I was the daughter of one of the First 9. Aside from being kept in the dark on some things, there were always other women looking to take your place. When you were an old lady, you gained some respect from them. Until then, you were just another obstacle.
"What's on you mind?" Mom asked, catching me off guard. I didn't want to talk about it. Talking wouldn't change anything about the situation. So, I just shook my head and plastered on a smile. "Why don't you go talk to Donna? She needs a reminder that she's part of this family. Clay said that she's pulling Opie in two different directions."
"Then Clay should talk to her. They're the only ones that know what's right for their family, Mom. She raised twins by herself for years. Can you really blame her for having some hesitations when it comes to Opie becoming active with the club again?" I watched her with her kids for a few seconds before looking over at Mom. She was scowling and obviously didn't see where I was coming from. I took a deep breath. "I'll go talk to her but not about the club."
"Fine." Mom snapped as I walked away. I ignored the bite in her voice and crossed the room to Donna.
"Hey." I said, sitting down to the right of her. She was helping the kids set up a game of Monopoly on the coffee table. "I always played as the thimble when Jax and I played Monopoly."
"I like being the puppy." The young girl said, holding the piece up to me. I nodded with a smile. Donna finished setting the game up and told the kids to play nice before she leaned back on the couch.
"They're sweet kids." I told her as they started to roll dice to see who went first. Donna let out a little laugh and shook her head, causing a piece of chin length hair to fall into her face.
"They can be. They've got Opie's wild streak though. It usually comes on when I'm exhausted and out of coffee." She said, pushing her hair back behind her ear. I felt like the conversation was already starting to die off. "Where's Happy?"
"What? Oh. He went to Bakersfield to see him Mom and then he's going to check in with some other NOMADS before we leave for Atlanta Monday." I wasn't really sure why I told her everything. She just seemed like a good listener. I felt my cheeks redden a little.
"I'm going to be honest. I was really glad to see the two of you together. I don't think I could compete with you." My eyebrows shot up, surprised she was even worried about competition. "Come on, Alexis. You barely look twenty-five and you're beautiful."
"Uh, thank you but that doesn't mean there would be any kind of competition, Donna. Trust me, I'm not a homewrecker. Besides, Opie would never do anything to hurt you, Donna. You're the mother of his children and he still looks at you the same way he did when we were kids." I said, still processing her confession of self-consciousness. I shook my head and gave her a warm smile.
The party went on for quite a while, as did most of our parties. Abel made an appearance for a little while until he started fussing. Tara and Jax disappeared to tend to him while the rest of the guests started to thin out. Opie and Donna were talking about going to the store before heading home. Eventually, Opie convinced her that he would drive the car and take the kids home and she could take the truck, go to the store and come back to help clean up like she'd wanted to. Tig dipped out just a minute or so behind them.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Tig. Those stitches need to come out." I told him. He had gotten into some kind of trouble with a very angry dog and get a bite out of his ass. Luckily I didn't have to deal with stitching him up, just taking the stitches out. The less time around Tig's ass the better. He nodded distractedly and hurried out.
"Help your mother clean up in the kitchen." It was only the third sentence Clay had even said to me that night. I rolled my eyes and walked into the kitchen, exactly where I was going in the first place.
"You married him why, exactly?" I asked, picking up a stack of used paper plates and shoving them into a large trash bag. Mom chuckled and I groaned. "Please don't answer that. I don't think the cake would taste as good coming up."
"Oh don't be such a child, Alexis. Oh, damn it. I forgot to get more garbage bags." She said with a frustrated slap to her thigh.
"You're getting forgetful in your old age, Mom. I'll go get some if I can borrow your car." She didn't even hesitate before giving me her keys. I was still laughing as I walked through the living room, grabbing my bag on my way out. The weather was perfect so I didn't bother with the air conditioner. I rolled both of the windows down and let the night air fill the car. Charming air never had the smog that Atlanta had. The air was always clean and fresh unless you went towards the paper mill on the outside of town.
"What in the hell?" I said, slamming on my breaks. The traffic light was green but there was a truck sitting there, not moving. I turned the radio down and I could hear the horn going off. It was starting to lose the air to make any noise. When the headlights hit the back of the truck, I recognized it. I also saw a shattered back window. It wasn't until I ran up to the driver's door that I saw the blood on the inside of the windshield. "No, no, no. Come on, Donna. Damnit."
I pulled her out of the truck and struggled to get her on the ground carefully. She was limp. I could smell the metallic scent of blood and it almost made me gag. I was used to blood. It wasn't uncommon for me to have at least my hands covered in it once a day at work. That was different though. That wasn't Donna's blood.
"I'm at the corner of Holly and Maple. Thirty year old female, GSW to the rear of her head. Unresponsive. I'm disconnecting to begin CPR." I yelled into the phone after the 911 operator answered the phone. I heard her ribs crack as I started the compressions for CPR. That noise always got me. The cracking of bone in order to save a life. It seemed like an oxymoron. I started to hear sirens after my third round of CPR.
"Miss, we are going to take over." The paramedic said, placing his hand on my shoulder. I was reluctant to step back because I knew what was going to happen. They were going to see what I already knew, that it was hopeless. They would call it as soon as I stopped. I knew I couldn't stand in there way though. I stood up and I felt my hands shaking. The paramedic checked her vitals and then called it. It was over. "Time of death, 12:13. I'm sorry, Miss. There was nothing you could have done."
"I know. I had to try though." I said, my voice shaking before it finally cracked. Tears started falling down my cheeks as I dug my phone out of my pocket to call Jax. I didn't have Opie's number and I honestly didn't know if I could be the one to tell him if I did. "Jax. It's Donna. She's been killed."
"What? Alexis, where are you." I could hear him moving quickly. The police arrived and the paramedics moved her into a body bag. I sobbed and looked away. Just minutes ago we were joking about stupid stuff and watching Opie lose at Monopoly against the kids.
"Holly and Maple. She was shot, Jax. Why did this happen?" I sobbed, holding up my hand to tell Hale to hold on.
"I don't know, Alexis. I don't. We'll be there, okay?" I didn't bother acknowledging his statement. I knew he would be there soon. I knew most of the club would be.
"Alexis. What happened?" Hale asked. I shook my head and wrapped my arms around myself. I didn't know any more than the obvious answer. She'd been shot from behind. The cowards couldn't even face her.
"I pulled up and saw the truck. She was slumped over on the steering wheel, unresponsive. She wasn't breathing, so I pulled her out of the truck and started CPR until the ambulance arrived. They pronounced her DOA at 12:13." I gave him the doctor's answer. The answer that left out all feeling and emotion. He frowned and looked at the truck. "I didn't see anything. When I got here, she was already gone."
"Donna? DONNA!" I heard the heartbreak in Opie's voice. It was the same heartbreak I'd felt when Hank died, only I was lucky enough to say goodbye. I was lucky enough to have some time to process it before he was gone.
"Lexie." Jax looked up at me as he backed away from Opie. He was trying to console him but I knew it was useless. There was no comforting or consoling someone after something like that. I let Jax hug me, but I barely felt it.
"She was just at the party, Jax. She was okay. She was happy." I said, feeling myself start to numb. Jax shook his head and pulled me closer, smoothing my hair. My tears dried and I stepped back. "I need to go get trash bags. Mom needs them."
"Lexie, don't worry about that. You need to go home, take a shower and get some rest." I followed his eyes down to my hands and saw that they were covered in drying blood. My shirt was stained and my knees were cut up from kneeling on the pavement. I nodded slowly. "Do you want me to have the prospect follow you?"
"No. I'll be okay." My voice was nearly a whisper. I took a couple steps back before turning around to get back to Mom's car. I knew she would be upset that I was going to get it dirty. I would have to detail and wash it for a month. I struggled to start the car, unable to really focus on the task at hand.
I woke up to the sound of my bedroom door opening. Reflexively, I grabbed for my gun underneath the pillow beside me. Tara had gone back to Jax's after bringing me home and I knew that she would have knocked anyway. I was understandably on edge after Donna's murder.
"Hey, it's just me." I put the gun down and started crying. He crossed the room quickly, tossing the door closed behind him. "Lexie."
He caught me as I launched myself into his arms, tears gushing down. I buried my face into his kutte and tried to get as close to him as possible. He didn't say anything. He just held me tightly, his tattooed arms wrapped around my waist and back. I could feel him moving against my sobs. He wasn't letting go. He just held on.
"Happy." I sniffled, looking up at him after what felt like a half hour. He gingerly swept my hair off my face where it had gotten soaked by my tears. My bottom lip trembled until his thumb traced over it. I moved my hand behind his head and I pulled his head down. His mouth was barely an inch away from mine. I felt my heart start to race just before I closed the distance. He tangled his hand into my hair and managed to kiss me both gently and passionately. I moaned and moved to shove his kutte down his arms.
"Alexis." He groaned, catching my right hand. I looked up at him, searching his eyes for some clue of why he was stopping me. "Baby, I would love to keep going but this isn't right. I'm waiting for you because if I don't I'm going to lose you."
"I want to do this, Happy." I said, feeling deflated. He let out a single laugh and nodded his head.
"I do to, Lexie. If you were any other woman we wouldn't be having this conversation. I care about you though." He sighed and kissed my lips forcefully. My breath was taken away when he pulled back. "Get back into bed, baby. I'm not leaving you."
I watched him step out of his boots, pull his socks off and take off his kutte and the two shirts underneath. All that was left was his low slung jeans that were showing off the top of his black boxer-briefs. He picked my gun up off he pillow beside me and placed it alongside his on the nightstand. My heart had not stopped racing since I kissed him. I was afraid he would feel it when he wrapped his arm around my waist. His perfect lips brushed against my shoulder as he settled in behind me.
"Go to sleep, Alexis. You're okay." He whispered. I placed my hand on top of his and closed my eyes. I felt safe. I felt protected.
