A/N: I am so so sorry this is late! I stayed up tonight finishing it. I had a plumbing disaster and had to deal with that and some other real world crap. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I love you all!
Chapter 19
When we got back to Charming, Happy headed over to the clubhouse to deal with whatever emergency Clay had called him about while we were at the airport. I offered to go with Mom to help her unpack but she said she was going to deal with it after a long bath and some quality time with her man. I didn't even want to be in the same state while that happened, much less the same house. After starting a load of laundry, I decided to go see Tara and Abel. I had missed my favorite nephew and I wanted to make sure Tara and I were on good terms.
"Hey, I just put Abel down. I didn't expect to see you until tomorrow. Aren't you tired?" Tara said, waving me inside. I shrugged it off but I was exhausted. She motioned towards the kitchen. "I just started some water for tea if you want some."
"Yeah, thanks. Look, Tara. I don't want to beat around the bush. I want to make sure that we're okay after everything that was said before I left. I know you were just trying to look out for me." I said, sitting on one of the bar stools. Tara pulled the kettle from the eye and nodded as she poured the steaming water into two mugs.
"I was but it had less to do with Happy than it did with Josh. You've known Happy for years and I shouldn't have doubted that you would know him better than I would." She sighed as she handed me my tea. "I feel like such a hypocrite."
"We all have our moments. I'm kidding." I said when her eyes widened. "You aren't a hypocrite. You were just trying to look out for me."
"That's what family is for, right?" She said, squeezing my hand. I nodded and tried to hide a yawn behind my coffee. "So, how was Atlanta?"
I told her about everything. From finding Martha there when we first got to the house to getting into an argument with Hailey and everything in between. It felt so good to talk to someone other than my mother about it. Mom listened but I felt like there was a disconnect because of our age difference and her bias for anything and anyone club related.
"So, do you think you're ready to move on with Happy?" I took a deep breath before nodding my head. Tara gave me a small smile. "Then why are you here and not with him?"
"He's out fixing something for the club. I don't even want to know what it might be. Jax didn't say anything about it?" I wondered why Jax would be keeping Tara out of the loop. She was more of an old lady than I was. She shook her head and I bit my bottom lip. "It's probably nothing then."
"Nice try, Teller." Tara saw right through my bluff to keep Jax out of the dog house. I shrugged my shoulders sheepishly. "Did Happy tell you anything about it?"
"No, I didn't ask." He would have told me what he could if I had asked. I didn't though. I didn't want to know. "I'm going to pop in and see Abel for a second before I go home. I think I'm more tired than I realized."
"Just don't wake him up. He's been fussy today." Tara said, following me down the hall. I always thought she would be a good mother, I just never thought she'd be raising Jax's kid if it wasn't hers. She didn't even seem to mind that Abel wasn't her blood. It said a lot about her as a person. I was still trying to get Mom to understand that.
"I feel like he's doubled in size since I've been gone. Does he like his mobile?" I had found the perfect motorcycle mobile for his crib one day when I was shopping online. Luckily, it came in the mail the day before he came home from the hospital.
"He watches it and reaches for it any time I put him down. He has an appointment with the cardiologist next week. I'm hoping he doesn't have to be on medication his whole life." Tara said softly. I frowned with a nod. Thomas was on cardiac medication since he was six months old. Jax and I were somehow lucky enough to avoid the genetic defect. I felt guilty for being healthy after Thomas died.
"I'm supposed to go to Bakersfield sometime soon. When I figure out when that is, we should plan a dinner or something." I said, hoping to better her relationship with Happy. She smiled and agreed enthusiastically. "I'm going home and crashing. Goodnight, TK."
"Goodnight, Teller." She laughed. I'd called her TK from time to time ever since her fight with Misty Williams in the girl's locker room our junior year. Misty had made a move on Jax and Tara busted her nose for it. I may have instigated the fight and convinced Tara it was the only way to put an end to the situation. Regardless, that's where she'd gotten the nickname. Ironically, Misty was one of the croweaters I recognized from school and she had probably been fucked by Jax at least a few times. It wasn't something I was going to mention to Tara though. She probably already knew.
I woke up to Happy walking into the room. He had just closed the bedroom door and was trying to quietly take his boots off. I rolled over to my side and watched him undress, my eyes barely able to stay open. He let out a huff when he got into the bed. I ran my hand over his necklace chain and met his eyes with my own.
"Rough job?" I ran my thumb over the golden bullet pendent as he wrapped an arm around me and pulled me closer. I realized he wasn't going to talk about it, not yet at least. I laid my head on his chest and listened to his slowing heart beat. "Goodnight, Hap."
"Goodnight, baby." His voice was a husky whisper. I smiled and pressed a kiss to his chest before rolling over. He followed me and rested his hand on my hip before pressing a soft kiss onto my neck. I smiled and closed my eyes.
I woke up early and crawled out of bed slowly to avoid waking Happy up. He looked restless and I had a feeling that whatever he'd done last night hadn't gone to plan. I just hoped there wouldn't be any blowback. As I stepped into the shower, I thought about everything that could go wrong. My entire life was intertwined with the club again. There was always my family ties but now my best friend was back and with my brother. Then, there was Happy. I still couldn't identify what we were relationship wise but my life was connected to his at any rate. If something happened with the club, my life would be drastically affected. It was a scary realization but something that I had known deep down ever since I started to decide whether or not to stay in Charming.
"What happened last night?" I asked Happy. He was standing in the doorway from the bedroom to the bathroom when I stepped out of the shower. His eyes didn't move from my body until I wrapped a large white towel around my chest. I pursed my lips and moved to the sink as I waited for him to answer.
"Something got complicated. It's handled though." He didn't sound as if he wanted to say much more. I turned from the sink, toothbrush in my mouth and scowled at him. "You don't need to worry about it, Lexie."
"I don't need to worry about it? What happens with the club affects me, Happy. There's not a single part of my life that doesn't involve the club in some way. Don't tell me I don't need to worry about something." I said, spitting toothpaste in the sink at the end for good measure. His jaw was set and I could tell he didn't like what I had to say.
"You don't think I can take care of shit, Alexis? I told you it was handled. That's all you need to know." He said. I rolled my eyes and pushed by him to get back into the bedroom. He caught my wrist and kept me from going any further. "What's wrong with you?"
"I would just like a little heads up if my life is going to be turned upside down again. Obviously you don't trust me enough to tell me what's going on." I snapped, yanking my arm away from him. He groaned and followed me over to the closet.I didn't really know what was bothering me more. The fear of the unknown or the frustration that came from him keeping me in the dark. I knew there were things I would never want to know about club business, not only for plausible deniability but also for my peace of mind. Still, I didn't want to be completely in the dark.
"Lexie, when I don't tell you shit it's usually for your own good." I turned to look at him, wondering what he meant by usually. I stepped into my jeans and turned away from him again. As soon as my back was turned, I heard him sigh. "We went in ready to take care of a threat. Some shit happened when we were gone and there was a witness that was ready to testify. When we got to the safe house, the witness was a teenage girl."
I froze as a frigid chill ran down my spine. There was a time that the club wouldn't have ever considered hurting women, especially young women. Dad's manuscript only served to prove my point. The club was never intended to be violent but eventually it started to come with the territory of living outside of the law. About five or so years before Dad died, it started getting closer to what it is now. When the club got into bed with the Irish, it only got worse. When Clay eventually took the gavel, it seemed like he would stop at nothing to make a dollar. He would always say he it was 'for the good of the club' but it was just a cover up for his greed.
"After damn near an hour of back and forth, we gave her a handful of cash and a clear idea of what would happen if she came back or testified." I felt my chest start to loosen and my lungs were finally getting some desperately needed air. If that was it though, what was he referring to about my own good?
"So? You gave her some hush money and scared her. What couldn't you tell me about that before now?" I asked, searching his eyes for what he really wasn't saying. He took a deep, chest raising breath and stepped forward, placing both of his hands on my hips.
"Alexis, you know who I am, what I do for the club." I narrowed my eyes, trying to figure out where he was going with this. He squeezed my hips a little and seemed hesitant to go on. "Had the decision gone the other way, I would have killed her and left her in a shallow grave. Is that what you need to hear, Lexie? You need to hear that I may have killed a teenager if we didn't give her cash and scare? I told you. I usually don't tell you stuff for your own good. This time I just didn't want to see that look you're giving me right now."
"What look?" I asked, blinking. He dropped his hands from my hips and stepped back, balling his hands into fists. I dropped my hands to my side, unsure of what look he thought I was giving him. "If I'm giving you a look, it's because I wish you could have felt comfortable enough opening up to me."
"Lexie. I'm not a hero. Hell, I'm not even one of the good guys." I started to ask what he was going on about when I realized what he was saying. He was referring to Hank. I pursed my lips and walked across the room to him, taking his wrist and pulling him around to look at me.
"Happy. You are the same person I've known since I was a teenager. A little less hot headed and you've got some gray starting to show in your stubble but that's it. The rest I've known for years. You may not be one of the good guys but you're a good man, Happy. You take care of your mother, you love your brothers like family and you treat me better than I probably deserve." I brought my hands to either side of his face and stared into his eyes.
He moved his head down and kissed me deeply. I moved my hands to the back of his head and parted my lips, letting his tongue wander into my mouth. I took a step back and then another. Happy slowly followed me onto the bed as I first sat and then laid down. My hands found his biceps and gripped on as my breath started getting ragged and my heart started racing. It had been years since we were this close but it felt like we'd never been apart. I knew what he liked and he knew what to do to bring me right to the edge. There was the heat and energy like there had been so long ago. I found myself repeating his name as my entire body quivered with climax.
"We should fight and make up more." Happy said, collapsing next to me. I rolled my eyes and concentrated on slowing my breathing back down. "Need to get ready for the funeral."
"What?" I said, blinking dumbfounded. He sat up and swung his legs off the side of the bed. I stared at his back, it was nearly as ink covered as his chest and arms. He had a fairly large reaper but it wasn't the club's colors like Jax, Opie and some of the other Sons had. I looked away before I got too distracted. Donna. Of course it had to be Donna's funeral. It had been delayed because of the coroner and the investigation. I felt horrible for it slipping my mind. "Donna's funeral. Shit."
"Yeah. I'm taking a shower." He said, leaning down to kiss me before he went into the bathroom. I fell back down onto the bed and stared at the ceiling. I didn't feel the guilt I thought I may after being with someone for the first time after Hank died. If anything I was relieved. I was also still coming down from the high of being with Happy. It was rush.
I felt uncomfortable as I followed Happy over to funeral home. I hated funerals. Happy and the rest of the club had funeral badges on their bikes and would be escorting the hearse over to the cemetery. Opie had decided to skip any visitation and we were all directed to the cemetery for a grave side service. Mom offered to ride with me but I decided to drive instead. I needed something I could control.
"Have you seen your brother?" Mom asked as we took our seats beside the grave. I shook my head. I had not seen Jax since before we went to Atlanta. Happy came to stand behind me, resting a ringed hand on my left shoulder. I took a deep breath. As much as I hated funerals, it was made a little easier by having him there. The service was almost over when Jax came walking up from further inside the cemetery. I had to squint against the sun to see the cut above his eye.
"Jax." Tara whispered after he gave Opie a nod. He looked over at me before taking Tara's hand and walking towards the cars. I frowned and looked up at Happy. He must have known what I was thinking because he removed his hand from my shoulder and gave me the smallest of nods.
"Jax, wait." I said, walking quickly to catch up with him. He paused and I finally noticed his bike that was parked down the drive, away from the rest of the procession. "What happened?"
"A disagreement." Jax said curtly. I remembered what Happy had said about the ordeal the night before. The way Happy made it sound, it was just a decision they had a hard time making. Jax glanced around and then looked at me again. "I finished Dad's manuscript."
"Is that what got your head cracked open?" I asked with a sigh. He shook his head. "So, what now?"
"What do you mean, what now?" Jax asked with a scowl. I frowned. I had given him Dad's manuscript not just because it was dedicated to him. I wanted him to fix the club. I wanted him to bring it back to what Dad had wanted all those years ago. He sighed. "Lexie, I'm going to do what I can."
"Jax, this isn't just about us anymore. We grew up while the club was changing but it was nothing like it is today. Abel deserves to grow up with the club that is a family that can protect him, not put him in more danger." I knew there was a chance that he would get upset but I thought it needed to be said.
"I know, Alexis. I can't change things in a day." Jax said, pulling me into a one armed hug and kissing the top of my head. "I'll see you later."
"Be careful, Jax." He understood that I didn't just mean on his way home. I knew that going against Clay could be dangerous. I hung back by Happy's bike until the service was over. He looked somber as he walked down the hill towards me.
"You good?" He asked, picking up his gloves from his seat. I lifted a shoulder and let it drop. "Follow us back to the clubhouse and we'll talk about it there."
"Okay." I said, moving to step away. Happy caught my hand and leaned over his bike to kiss my lips. I pulled back with a smile. Obviously he didn't care about keeping our relationship quiet. "I'll see you there in a few minutes."
"You're a darn fool, Alexis Teller." I stopped dead in my tracks and turned back to see who had said that. It took me a minute to recognize the older woman since she'd walked out of Opie's life when we were so little.
"Excuse me?" I said, folding my arms across my chest. She shook her head and ushered Opie's kids into her car.
"You made it out of this god-forsaken place just to come back and be with one of them? You're a fool. You'll be lucky if all you get is a broken heart. My daughter-in-law was killed because of this club." She said, pointing back towards the grave.
"I'm not a fool for choosing to stay for my family. I guess you don't recognize the notion." I said, turning back and continuing on to my car. If she said anything else, I couldn't hear her through the blood pumping in my own ears. I slammed the car door and started the engine before gripping the steering wheel so tightly that my knuckles started turning white. She was wrong. I wasn't a fool. I ground my teeth together and pulled out of the cemetery long after almost everyone else had already left. When I pulled into the lot, Happy was sitting on one of the picnic tables, talking to Tig as a croweater clung to his arm.
"Uh oh." I heard Tig say as I stormed across the lot. "She's angry walking in heels. I gotta say it looks a lot better on her than her brother."
"Shut up." I snapped at Tig. I wrapped my hand around Happy's neck and pulled him into a deep kiss. After a minute, I pulled back just far enough to look at the woman who'd been on his arm. Happy moved his hands to my hips to keep me still. "He's spoken for. Move on."
"What took you so long?" Happy said, completely ignoring the woman sulking off towards the clubhouse. I shook my head, not ready to talk about what Opie's mother had said. I was still processing my thoughts.
"Wait a damn minute. You two are together?" Tig said, looking at me with raised brows. I scowled at him and Happy moved his hands down to my back pockets as a non-verbal answer. "Damn."
