"My mother was called Mandy," I say aloud. "My father was called Matthew. I-I've never been able to recall this information before."
"Sounds like you were taken to some kind of animal testing facility," Perry muses. "Do you remember anything else?"
I frown in concentration. "Only that…there was supposed to be two others in the alleyway with us but I can't remember who or where they went."
"Maybe you had siblings," Perry suggests. "Who wandered off just as you were being taken."
"Maybe," I say doubtfully. "But that's not stirring up any memories…"
All of a sudden, a stab of sadness hits me and I suddenly feel incredibly upset over nothing. That's my depression. Often it doesn't even need a reason to make me feel depressed. I try and overcome it so I can continue talking to Perry but I just feel ridiculously sad so I curl up on my bed and let the feeling of sadness wash over me. That's what Perry said I should do.
I think Perry realises what's happening because he lies down next to me and puts his arms around me. I relax into his body and rest my head on his chest. Being around Perry always makes me feel more like a real being and less like the depressed, anxious, memory-loss-riddled platypus I really am.
My biggest fear is that one day I will forget who Perry is, even for just a minute. I never want to try to remember my home and come up blank. The day that happens will be the day I will finally lose my mind.
I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know, I'm alone and under the duvet. Perry must have tucked me in. A warm glow replaces the pit in my heart almost entirely. Not quite entirely. But almost.
I get out of bed and look outside. Nobody's in the backyard so I head out to go for a walk. I'm not going to leave the backyard, though. I've learnt my lesson with that. I simply walk over to the tree and look up into its branches, watching the birds build a nest in it, and wishing that I could climb trees. I bet the view from the top is great but my anxiety extends to acrophobia so I can't climb or I'll get stuck and not be able to come down, and it'll wreck my nerves.
Sometimes I hate myself. I hate having depression, I hate my anxiety, I hate the fact that I often can't remember things I should always be able to remember, and I hate not being able to always understand people.
Still thinking those negative thoughts, I turn around and bump straight into Perry as he emerges from the tunnel in the oak tree.
"Oh, Judy! What are you doing up?"
"How long did I sleep for?" I ask.
He shrugs. "A few hours."
"But it's morning again."
He looks confused for a moment, before his eyes flicker to the low sun. "Oh, no it isn't. It's about five pm. It only looks like it's morning because it's summer."
"Oh…"
I must have looked forlorn because Perry smiles and takes my arm. "Hey, do you feel up to a trip into OWCA?"
My stomach immediately tightens. "I've never been in there before," I say quietly.
"It'll be okay, you'll be with me. I won't leave you alone without asking you first, and you don't have to consent to that if you'll feel scared. Deal?"
My heart isn't sure about this but my brain is a little bit curious as to what the place Perry goes to every day looks like.
"Okay," I say doubtfully.
We take the tree tunnel to the place I fell into earlier today. Perry calls it his lair. We leave through a door and enter a building with offices and animals walking around everywhere. I subconsciously tighten my grip on Perry's hand.
"It's okay," he reassures me. "But just tell me if you feel too anxious or if something's wrong, okay?"
I nod bravely.
"Perry!" calls a voice, making me jump.
A small, shaking dog comes walking up to us. "Thanks for covering for me yesterday, Perry."
"No problem, Pinky," smiles my mate. "Oh, by the way, I want you to meet my mate, Judy. Judy, this is my closest friend, Pinky."
I'm a bit apprehensive because I don't know if Perry has told him about my conditions or not, but Pinky just smiles at me and says, "If you ever can't find Perry, just look for me. I live on the opposite side of the road to him."
"She was hiding between your trash cans in the rain yesterday," Perry tells him with a grin.
I inwardly curse. Don't tell him that, Perry, that makes me sound like a freak!
A bout of anxiety suddenly attacks me as I watch a large and intimidating bear agent walk past. My left paw closes around the pocket watch necklace that's around my neck. Since I don't have my metronome or my notebook or my iPod, it's the most reassuring thing I have on me. I open and close the cover, listening to the satisfying click sound.
Perry notices. "You okay? Anxiety?"
"Just a little," I say quietly. "But it's okay."
Perry suddenly spots someone. It looks like a black and white panda. "Oh, Judy…I need to talk to Peter about something. You want to come?"
There's nothing I want more than to say "YES STAY WITH ME PLEASE" but I smile bravely and say, "It's okay, I'll wait here."
Perry frowns. "Are you sure?"
"I'm sure. Absolutely."
"Just come over if you need me, okay?"
I nod. "Okay."
Perry slowly lets go of my hand and heads over to the panda. Immediately, my throat seizes up and my heart starts pounding. My inner voice automatically pops up to help me.
Breathe slow, Judy. Slow and steady. You may be in a new place but Perry's right over there. Just breathe slow. Breathe-
Ahh!
Someone bumps into me and knocks me a few steps to my right. It isn't hard but it makes my necklace fly out of my grip and land on the floor a few metres away from me. Instantly, another memory comes flooding back to me, this one more painful than the last.
"Judy!"
I suddenly find myself in Perry's arms. I hadn't realised that I had almost collapsed.
"It's another one," I croak. "Another memory."
That's the last thing I remember before I black out.
…
I wake up back in my shed. Perry is sitting in the chair next to me, looking worriedly at me. "Judy, what happened?"
"My necklace!" I suddenly sit up, panicked. "Did you get my necklace?"
"Relax, I found it. It's on the table." Perry forces me to lie back down. "Judy, what happened?"
"I-I don't know. Someone bumped into me, my necklace went flying, and I-I got another memory."
"Another memory?" Perry repeats. "What of?"
I tell him.
