a/n: This chapter was originally going to be longer but I felt like it made more sense to break it where I did! Hopefully you all still enjoy this story, I feel like it's not getting as much traffic as it was. Alas, I will keep writing as long as some of you still like it! Cute scene with Jax/Tara and Happy/Alexis in the next chapter as well as a feisty side of Alexis! Enjoy!
Chapter 22
"Hey sweetheart." Mom said, walking in just as I started to wake up. I expected Happy to be there. I didn't bother trying to fake a smile. There wasn't much to smile about. "Who ever did this is going to pay, Alexis."
"Why? So they can retaliate and the cycle keeps repeating itself?" I asked, staring at the purple bruises around my wrists. Mom frowned and took a couple steps toward me. "I don't want anyone I care about getting hurt because of this. It wouldn't make me feel any better."
"Alexis, why don't we worry about that later, okay? I'm so sorry this happened. You're my little girl. Nothing bad is supposed to happen to you and it seems like only bad has been happening recently." Mom's bottom lip started to tremble.
"That's not true. I'm back with my family, I have a good job, and I have a man that loves me. It's not all been bad. The bad has just been really bad." I admitted. Mom managed to smile a little as she carefully tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.
"I know Hank was a good man and you loved him but I'm not going to lie and say you and Happy aren't a good match. I see the way you two are together. I'm glad to have him as part of the family." Mom's voice was soft and calming. I felt my bottom lip start to tremble this time. Her eyes widened with concern. "What's wrong? Do you need the doctor?"
"Mom, can you please find Happy? I really need to see him." I sobbed. She gave me a sad smile and nodded.
"Just so you know, he was back here all night." I blinked a couple times. He'd been in the room while I slept? He was always so quiet. "Tara pulled a couple of strings. Maybe she's not too bad after all. I'll go get him."
When he walked into the room, I lost everything I'd been planning to say to him. As soon as his warm brown eyes met mine, I couldn't hold onto the shield I'd kept up with Mom. He rushed over as I slumped forward with violent sobs and tears gushing down my cheeks. His warm arms wrapped around me, barely making contact with my bruised and battered body. He pressed his mouth onto the top of my head, careful to keep away from where I'd originally been struck on the side of the road.
"Lexie, talk to me. Tell me what you need." His voice was full of desperation. I cried harder for a few minutes. Slowly, my body ran out of steam and I couldn't cry anymore. Happy still held me, silently waiting for me to open up to him. I felt sick, despite the nausea medicine Dr. Starnes had given me.
"I'm sorry." I croaked. Happy didn't move but I felt his body tense up. "I should have known something wasn't right."
"Alexis. Why are you blaming yourself and apologizing to me for what those sons of bitches did? You didn't do anything wrong. Hale said the girl told you her baby wasn't breathing. You're a doctor, Lexie. Of course you were going to go help." Happy said, misunderstanding my apology. I closed my eyes and slowly sat up, coming face to face with him. I shook my head and swallowed hard, hoping my stomach would leave my throat and go back where it belonged.
"It's not that." I took a deep, rib searing breath. I couldn't not tell him. I couldn't keep a pregnancy to myself. He was part of it, even if it wasn't going to progress into something more. I had thought up a whole speech in the minutes between Mom leaving and Happy coming into the room. Those eyes though. Those eyes broke me down. I found myself wondering if our child would have those same warm eyes. I shook my head. It was stupid to think like that when we weren't going to have the baby.
"Lexie, what?" Happy said. I could tell he was somewhere between worried and agitated. I swallowed my nerves and licked my dry, cracked lips.
"When Dr. Starnes did blood panels and everything to make sure I wasn't going to have any long-lasting physical-" I stopped. I needed to get to the point before I just talked around it. "I'm pregnant. I don't know how my shot failed but I'm going to take care of it."
"Take care of it? What are you talking about?" He was speaking slower than normal. I could tell he was thinking and processing everything that had happened and the bomb I'd just dropped on him. He blinked and stood up. His arms fell to his side slowly. "That's it? You tell me you're pregnant and you're getting rid of it in the same sentence? Why even tell me if you've got everything figured out?"
"I just thought you should know. I didn't want to keep it from you." I knew he would be upset. It was upsetting news.
"Why? You're keeping any part of the decision from me. You didn't think it was something we should talk about together? You didn't get pregnant by yourself. It's not just your kid." I blinked. That wasn't the reason I thought he would be upset. "Damnit, Alexis."
"Happy, we can't have a baby." I said slowly. He scoffed and threw his hands up.
"Why the fuck not, Alexis? Only reason I see is because you already decided against it. Fuck, I guess a fireman's kid would have been different than some biker's kid." I was shocked. Was that what he really thought? Did he think I didn't want the baby because it was his and not Hank's?
"Happy, you can't think that! Why would that matter?" I was panicking. He was headed for the door and I was hooked up to one to many IV's to just rip out and follow him. I wasn't sure if I could stand on my own to do that anyways. "Stop!"
He turned around and I saw what I never thought I would see when I told him I was pregnant. His eyes were glassy with tears. I felt about two inches tall. What had I done? Why didn't I just tell him and we come to a decision together. That's what couples were supposed to do, make decisions together when it was something like that.
"Do you want to have a baby, Happy?" I started taking my IV's out when he turned back towards the door. So what if I fell when I tried to get out of the bed? What was one more broken bone? "Happy!"
"What are you doing?" He growled when he saw that I had my IV's out and my legs swung over the bed.
"Getting ready to follow you until you talk to me." I said, breathless from the energy I'd already exerted. He shook his head and walked back to the side of the bed. "Please, talk to me."
"I don't know, Alexis. I don't know if I want a kid. I just know if I ever wanted one it would be with you." He said, helping me bring my legs back up on the bed before he sat down on the end of the bed.
"Do you really think it has anything to do with who you are? Happy, I love you." I said, wishing he could just be the cold killer for a few minutes. I loved the side of him that he reserved for me but I felt horrible for hurting him.
"Lexie, I know you wanted kids. You said it yourself in the cemetery." So he really had heard more than I'd wanted him to.
"My decision didn't change because of you, Happy. I'm scared to bring a child into this. I don't want something like this or worse happening to them. The club comes with risks. I was born into that and I accepted it when I came back. I can't force that onto a child." I felt my throat getting drier and drier as I thought about all the reasons why we shouldn't have a child. It was breaking my heart.
"Alexis. The day you decided to stay in Charming was the day it became my job to take care of you. I should have had someone meet you at the hospital before you left." His fist clenched around the hospital blanket tightly. "I can't promise you bad things won't happen, baby. That wouldn't be any different if we were here or a thousand miles away. I'll always do everything I can to protect you though, Alexis. The same would have gone for our child."
"Maybe we should take some time to think about it. It's still pretty early. We don't have to make a decision right now." I said, putting my hand over his fist. He looked up at me with a furrowed brow.
"Wait, you haven't already taken a pill or whatever it is you have to do?" He asked. I shook my head and his whole body relaxed for a second. "Do you know what it is?"
"Babe, I'm maybe four weeks at the most." I could tell by the look on his face that the time frame didn't mean anything to him. I smiled. "We wouldn't know for about three more months."
"Oh, okay. When do we need to decide?" He asked, moving his hand out from under mine and lacing his fingers in with mine. I shrugged.
"Technically, not for about five months. I don't want to go past the first trimester without deciding though. It's complicated and gross." I took a deep breath, shaking the thought out of my head. "We have a few weeks."
"Okay." He said with a nod. We were silent for a minute before his eyes started darkening. "Who were they? I'm not going to make it quick and painless for them."
"Slow down, killer. I don't know who they were. This is exactly what I was talking about though. Say you killed them. Then their friends will want payback and then the club is in this never ending war." I said.
"There's no war if you take out all of the enemies at the beginning." Happy muttered. I couldn't help but laugh. He could be so obstinate. "When can you come home?"
"Later today." I said with a yawn. He nodded and moved up onto the bed, lying down beside me carefully. I smiled and moved to kiss him, hesitating when I thought about whether it would bother him to kiss me so soon after what had happened. He answered my question by giving me several, quick kisses and when I finally reacted, he deepened he kiss. He pulled back and brushed his lips against my less swollen cheek.
"Get some sleep so we can get out of here." He said, closing his own eyes. I doubted that he'd slept at all when he was in the room earlier. I kept my eyes closed until his breathing leveled out and his body relaxed. I couldn't sleep with everything going through my mind. I watched him sleeping peacefully, enjoying every rare minute.
I tried to go back to what was normal life for me in the days following the assault. I was adamant about not being a victim. I wasn't going to let what happened change my life. That's what I told myself as the bruises turned yellow and green and the sharp pains started to subside into dull aches. I told myself that I was stronger than what happened. I even had myself believing that it didn't have anything to do with my family or the club. I almost stopped hearing the message the man had wanted me to deliver to the club playing over and over in my head.
"You sure you're ready to go back to work?" Happy asked from the comfort of our new bed as I stepped out of the bathroom, wrapped in a dark grey towel. I nodded, pausing to give him a kiss on the cheek before I got dressed. I felt his eyes on me as I loosened the strings on my scrub bottoms. We hadn't talked about the baby much since I got home. Happy had been busy with the club and I had been busy doing anything but thinking about the baby and what happened. "How much longer do we have?"
"Five or six weeks." I said, hoping this wasn't the time he'd chosen to discuss it. I was already running late. He nodded and sat up, ready to talk. Luckily, his phone started vibrating on the nightstand. I saw his eyes roll as he flipped it open. After pulling my hair up into a high pony-tail, I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and headed out of the room while he talked on the phone and got dressed.
It felt great to be back at work. I could focus on things that were completely outside of myself. Even a routine gall bladder surgery made me smile. It was nice to be able to fix something and make someone's life easier or less painful. The day flew by and I was a little sad when it came to an end.
"Lexie, can you come to the clubhouse with me?" Tara said, hurrying down the hall behind me. I quickened my pace to keep up with her.
"Yeah, what's going on?" I felt my heart start to race. Happy's phone call didn't seem to be going well when I was leaving this morning and I hadn't heard from him all day. "Tara!"
"Jax said someone got shot. I don't know who, Lexie." Tara said, tossing her medical bag into my backseat. I jumped in the drivers seat and threw the car into reverse before Tara's door was even closed. I paused at the red light and peeled out of the parking lot. "Lexie, if we get stopped it's only going to slow us down."
"We aren't going to get stopped." I muttered, turning sharply. Tara clung onto the dash and glared at me. I didn't care. I didn't bother parking in a spot when we got to the clubhouse. I just left my car sitting in the middle of the lot, barely even taking the time to put it in park and turn the engine off. We rushed inside to see Bobby laying on one of the pool tables. I doubled over, bracing my hands on my knees.
"Alexis." Happy said, hurrying over from where he'd been holding Bobby down. I lifted a hand, telling him to give me a second to recover. As soon as Tara had asked me to come with her, all I could picture was him or Jax lying on that table with a lot worse wound than what Bobby had. I stood up, inhaling deeply. "You okay?"
"I thought it was you or Jax. I thought." He shook his head and pulled me into a tight hug. I squeezed him tightly before stepping back. "I need to help Tara."
"Okay." He let me go and I hurried over to Bobby. I thought Bobby was going to take a swing at Tara when she poured hydrogen peroxide over the wound to clean it before going in for the bullet.
"Hey, tough guy. Bite down on this." I rolled a washcloth up and put it into his mouth. "Tara, I can get it if you want."
"Good, I got the last one." She said, handing me the scalpel. I laughed and positioned myself over Bobby's shoulder. He groaned and clamped down on the washcloth as I opened the wound to get the bullet out. Tara passed me the clamps and I pulled the bullet out. Bobby whimpered and I kissed his forehead.
"You'll be okay. It missed anything important." I said, dropping the bullet into a bowl on the table before I started closing him up. "Next time you may want to dodge bullets, not just stand there and get shot."
"That's what I told him." Tig said, shaking his head with a hesitant smile. I finished up and went down the hall to the bathroom to clean myself up. Happy followed me in and closed the door.
"You were right about not having a kid." Happy said, catching me completely off guard. I turned off the water and looked up at him. I didn't know what to say. "I'll go with you."
"Go with me where? Happy, when I saw you standing in there, I realized I can't be without you." I took a deep breath and looked down at my sneakers that were almost toe to toe with his boots. "I know it's crazy and reckless and selfish but I want us to have this baby. I want to have a family with you, Happy."
"Lexie, you just pulled a bullet out of Bobby's shoulder. That could have just as easily been me." He said, pulling my chin up so I had to look at him.
"I know. That's why I don't want to wait. There's never going to be a better time. It's not like things are going to get any easier. If you don't want this then we won't do it but if you're-" He crashed his mouth onto mine and picked me up by the back of my thighs. I moaned and wrapped my legs around his waist. His mouth moved down my neck and I couldn't breathe. "Hap-py. Wait. Stop."
"What's wrong?" He said, breathless. I frowned and his shoulders fell. I bit my lip as it started to quiver. We hadn't had sex since I was attacked. I was cleared, medically. I was just worried. I was afraid it would bring back memories or it wouldn't' be the same and he wouldn't want me anymore. "Baby, I'm not going to hurt you."
"I know that." I snapped. That was the last thing I was worried about. I kissed him and tried to pick up where we'd left off. I stopped again. "Do you think we could go home and not do this in the clubhouse bathroom?"
"If that's what you want, Alexis." He opened the door and I took a deep breath. I wanted to be with him. I wanted to get it over with and move on to having mind-blowing sex like we did before. I just didn't know if I could.
