Author's Note: To those of you who survived the last chapter, welcome back. I knew when I wrote it that it would be polarizing, and the responses to it were as divided as I expected. Before I get to responding to the reviews I should explain a couple of things about this chapter in particular. It is Sigyn's point of view on the events of the last chapter. The first section is her morning before the argument (so new), the middle section is the same scene from the last chapter (the dialogue is the same, but the subtext and opinions on it are all new since this is how Sigyn interprets it), and the final section is what Sigyn does after she leaves (so obviously it is new). You might have the inclination to skip the scene between Sigyn and Loki since you have read the dialogue before. I obviously will not (and cannot) stop you from doing that, but there is one very important thing you will miss if you do, and since it will be important to the plot later you might not want to miss it. The choice of course is up to you. I do find the repeated scene between Loki and Sigyn to be an interesting study in how two people can have the same conversation, yet take different things away from it. How one persons meaning or actions might be misinterpreted by someone else. Anyways, the rating is still 'M.' Also don't worry too much, the next chapter is infinitely more light-hearted then the previous four, I promise. JaviMason19691 Don't worry, I may break hearts, but I will certainly strive to put them back together again. Yes, I had to add something light-hearted into that chapter to remind us that Loki is not an evil person, he just let his emotions get out of hand and made some extremely poor choices. Duality is an aspect of every human, or in this case Asgardian, and Loki is no different and I had to remind the readers of that. Ah The T man, haha if you have an idea of who it is, then you are probably correct. You will be getting to see him in a few more chapters so I shan't ruin the 'surprise' of it. Don't worry, Loki is probably doing plenty of crying (both literally and figuratively). Anon at Heart I 100% agree with you, Loki has every right to be upset with Sigyn, and hurt by her actions. He most assuredly does not handle it the right way, but his hurt is understandable. He is just still to immature to handle the situation properly, they both are. I also prefer to have characters that make mistakes because that is life. People make mistakes, and characters that are written to be perfect are hardly interesting because they are so predictable. Don't get me wrong, I wish we could all be perfect, but I know that it is an unrealistic wish. I am glad that the scene with Sigrun was in your words, "Awwwww." I felt we all needed a little uplift from the soap opera that has been occurring! Oh no, I will NOT pull a Reichenbach! Yikes, I know all too well how painful that is XD Reteka Hyuuga you shall be on pins and needles no more! FreakyInker I had not intended to give a fuller explanation of why Loki cheated on Sigyn since it seemed rather obvious to me, then I read your comment. That is when it hit me, well of course it is obvious to me, I wrote it and I know everything that goes down between the characters that you (the readers) don't see. The answers are there if you read in-between the lines, but it does require that you know a little about Amora, which it is very probable that most of the readers don't. That being said, I have decided that I will address what happened in more detail not in the next chapter, but the one after that. Hopefully I will be able to clear things up, but until then just remember Loki's line from Dark World, "Satisfaction is not in my nature." That is one small part of his downfall. As for not having a character to root for, don't judge Sigyn and Loki too harshly by their actions just yet. They are young (by Asgardian standards) and they are going to make mistakes, but they will also learn from them.
Sigyn lay sleeplessly in bed when there was a knock on her bedroom door. She decided to get up and answer the door instead of telling the knocker to enter, and it happened to be one of the servants with a message. Sigyn didn't have to be told that it was from the palace since she could see Loki's handwriting clear as day on the envelope. She thanked the servant for delivering it to her, and shut the door. She placed the unopened letter on her desk and went back to lie in bed. She would read it after she got a little more sleep. Sigyn tossed and turned restlessly, and even tried pulling the covers over her head, but to no avail. She eventually gave up on getting any more rest, and dressed for the day. She opened her wardrobe and began to look through her dresses.
Aureolin?
No, too cheerful.
Green?
Why did she even own a green dress? Maybe she should burn it…
Black?
She had already worn more black than she ever cared to wear again.
Red?
Nope, Thor's color.
Pink?
Too close to Thor's color…
She finally settled on the only other color left in her wardrobe. Blue. Midnight blue was her family color so it was safe enough to wear she supposed. She slipped the gown on and fixed her hair before going to sit at her desk and stare at the letter. She fingered the envelope for some time debating on whether she really wanted to see what Loki had written. Unable to make up her mind, she stood up and paced about the room for a while before finally breaking down and opening the note.
"Sigyn,
I have not slept at all, and my instinct tells me that you haven't either. We need to discuss what happened yesterday. Meet me today in the library at whatever time best suits you. If you wish to specify a time in your reply, by all means, please do so. If not however, know that I will wait there all day for you if I must.
Loki"
Sigyn sighed as she set the note back down on her desk. He wasn't leaving her much of an option. Typical. She was still furious with him and heartbroken beyond words, but she wasn't sure she had any right to be upset with him since she had slept with his brother. Sigyn finally pulled out a piece of parchment and wrote him a reply specifying that she would meet him at three. There was no point in putting this off. The guilt of having slept with Thor would haunt her till she admitted it to Loki, and she had told Thor as much the day before. He had pleaded with her not to tell his brother, saying that no good would come of it, but Sigyn didn't have a choice. She refused to deceive Loki the way he had deceived her. She would own to her mistakes, and if it meant that she lost Loki, then she would have at least stayed true to herself. She dispatched her reply to the palace, and spent the rest of the afternoon counting down the minutes till she would be forced to face her lover.
She arrived at the palace a little before three, and was surprised to see Fandral heading in to the stables.
"Good afternoon Fandral." Sigyn greeted as she dismounted.
"Good afternoon Lady Sigyn." He greeted in return.
"Where are you off to?" She asked curiously.
"Home. I have an engagement with my family this evening that is likely to be a total bore, but that I must attend none-the-less. So which one has brought you here, Thor or Loki?"
"Loki. He has requested that I speak to him about what transpired yesterday."
"I see…"
"I intend to tell him about what occurred between Thor and I." She admitted.
Fandral gave her a skeptical look. "Are you sure that is a wise idea? It is very likely that he won't take the news well."
"I am sure he won't, but I have no choice. I cannot live with such a secret for forever."
"Then I wish you all the best of luck." He replied before watching Sigyn leave the stables.
She reached the library in no time, but stood anxiously outside its doors for a few minutes. She was certain Loki was already inside, and she was starting to wonder if this had been a good idea after all. After taking a deep breath and putting on her most stoic face, Sigyn opened the doors and entered the library.
Loki stood from his seat awkwardly as Sigyn cautiously made her way towards the table.
"My goodness, I am not your mother. Sit down." She commanded in a voice that held more confidence than she actually felt.
Surprisingly, Loki did as she said. Sigyn approached the chair closest to Loki, but decided at the last moment to pull it out a little ways from him before sitting down.
"You wished to speak with me?" She queried in as detached a manner as possible.
Loki's green eyes bore into hers, and she could tell he was trying to see behind the wall she had built around herself.
"Yes, I thought it would be best to discuss what happened yesterday."
"What is there to discuss? You made a willful decision to be with Amora when you thought my back was turned. I suppose the only thing left to discuss is how many other women you have slept with."
"None. I swear to you, Amora is the only other woman I have been with."
Sigyn wanted to laugh at that statement.
"It's funny, but I find it difficult to believe you... The 'god of lies,' you didn't earn that moniker for no reason. As if your reputation wasn't enough to throw doubt on your words, the fact that you swore up and down to love me is. If you had truly loved me, you would never have risked hurting me in this way."
"I made a mistake Sigyn! If I didn't love you, I wouldn't have chased after you hopelessly or be sitting here now seeking to reconcile with you." Loki argued. "Can you not forgive me this one misstep?"
"Perhaps, but it wasn't just 'this one misstep.' You have been seeing her behind my back for at least a year now." Sigyn pointed out.
Loki looked genuinely surprised that she was aware of that fact.
"How did you know that?" He pressed.
"I spoke with Thor yesterday, after I discovered you two."
"And how did Thor know may I ask?"
"He is not as unobservant as you seem to think. He caught a glimpse of you and Amora coupling here in the library."
"Why? What excuse did he give for not informing you sooner?"
"He had thought it to be a one time occurrence. He didn't realize you had been sleeping with her since then."
Loki ran an agitated hand through his hair.
"It was never supposed to go on as long as it did." He excused.
"It doesn't matter if it wasn't supposed to go on as long as it did or not. It should never have happened in the first place!"
"It was hardly premeditated! I can't explain it to you, but the first time Amora and I slept together it just sort of happened. Maybe it had been her intent from the start, but I had never planned on being with her. After that first night it became almost like a game."
Sigyn almost couldn't believe what she was hearing.
"So enjoying your nights with Amora was no more than playing a game, meanwhile my feelings were hanging in the balance?"
"That's not what I meant…"
"But it is what you said. My feelings meant nothing more than a silly game to you…"
This conversation was turning out to be pointless. If Loki was simply going to make excuses than why should she even bother telling him the truth about sleeping with Thor? Sigyn stood up with every intention of leaving, but Loki snatched her wrist before she could move away.
"Are you not angry with me?"
"Do I not seem angry?"
"Hardly. Disappointed, yes. Heartbroken, yes… if you are simply holding back your anger for fear of offending me, then I beg you don't hold back. I grant that you have every right to be angry with me, and I dare say that I could handle your fury better than your current state of sad acceptance."
Was she angry? Yes. Was she showing it? No. She was just as angry with herself as she was with Loki, if not more. She was trying to keep so many different emotions under control, and she knew it was time to free herself from at least one of them. Sigyn gave a little tug of her arm, testing to see if she could breakaway from Loki, but to no avail. This was it then. She would swallow her fear, and face the consequences of her poor judgment.
"Yes, I should be angry with you, furious even, but I have lost all right to be so…"
Loki gave her a confused look.
"Sigyn, I don't understand…"
"I made a mistake Loki."
Tears began to threaten her eyes, and Sigyn averted her head to try and hide them from Loki. It did her little good since he stood from his chair and pulled her around to face him.
"What did you do?"
The tension in his voice did not bode well for his likely reaction to Sigyn's confession, but it was too late to turn back now.
"Loki…I… I am so sorry… you have to understand, I was so angry with you… I was desperate for acceptance from someone, anyone! Loki… I slept with Thor…"
"Thor?" He asked as if he thought he had mis-heard her.
He stood there with his eyes shut trying to process this new information. His hands began to tighten painfully on her arms, and Sigyn couldn't help but flinch.
"Are you telling me that you slept with my brother?" He asked.
Sigyn wasn't sure if he actually wanted her to reply or not.
"That wasn't a rhetorical question!" He unexpectedly shouted, while giving Sigyn a hard shake.
"Yes! Yes… I slept with your brother, but I didn…"
Loki cut her off by placing a finger to her lips. He gave her a little condescending shush with a twisted grin.
"And how long have you been sleeping with him?" He inquired.
"I promise you, yesterday was the only time I have ever been with Thor." She replied while trying to hide her growing anxiety.
This was not Loki, at least not the one she knew. Sigyn had never seen him this angry before, but she could tell that he was dangerous and volatile in this state of mind. His hand ghosted up her neck, and Sigyn was momentarily afraid that he was going to snap it right then and there. Fortunately, he moved it up to stroke her cheek.
"So it would appear darling, that you have been the one using me. All these years tolerating my presence just to spend one day as the future king's harlot."
Sigyn couldn't believe what Loki had just said to her. Never had he spoken to her in such an insulting way.
"Loki ple…"
"Did I say you could speak!?" Loki hissed while covering her mouth with his hand.
What was going on? Why was he suddenly treating her this way? She had expected him to be disappointed in her or angry, but this was something totally different.
"No, no. It wasn't the desire to be taken by your future king that motivated you was it? You were looking for something else entirely. You wanted to be taken by a man who would dominate you. A man who would have you begging for mercy yet refuse it to you…"
Loki spun her and slammed her over the table. She couldn't see him, but she could feel him press his body against hers.
"Is this how he took you?" He whispered into her ear, his warm breath causing her skin to tingle.
Sigyn didn't have the ability to answer seeing as she had just had the breath knocked out of her. Meanwhile, Loki pressed his pelvis against Sigyn to show her just how much her current position excited him.
"Isn't this where you are supposed to beg My Lady?"
"For what?! Loki, I don't understand!" She replied in rising panic.
What did he want from her!? Did he want her to beg for forgiveness?
"For what you want of course. For me to defile your body roughly and unforgivingly."
This was out of control. Loki would never say something like that to her…
"Loki…please…"
"Please what?"
He was toying with her and she knew it.
"Stop!" She implored.
Pain shot through Sigyn's head as Loki grabbed her hair close to the scalp and yanked her head back.
"Why should I? I am just giving you what you want. If you had wanted to be taken like this all you needed to do was ask it of me. There was no need to go to Thor my pet."
His pet? When did he begin to think that she was his pet?
"I am not your pet, that would be Amora." Sigyn managed to retort in disgust.
The anger that Sigyn had been hiding till this point was rearing its ugly head, and she didn't care. It didn't matter what she had done, Loki had no right to treat her like this. Before she could say anything else, Loki turned her over onto her back and pushed her further up onto the table. She was about to call for help when his hand shot to her throat. He wasn't squeezing all that hard, but that hardly mattered. Sigyn's defensive instincts kicked in and she tried to pry his arm off while kicking her legs out against him. She managed to land a pretty good shot to his thigh, but Loki ended that struggle by forcing her legs apart and using his body to keep them there. Sigyn could scarcely believe it when he began to rub his covered erection against her. Shame and humiliation began to flush her cheeks. She was helpless against him, and he was proving it to her in the most embarrassing ways he could think of. Loki's erection pressing against her could only mean one thing, he planned to take her here and now without her consent or desire. He didn't speak, and his eyes sort of glazed over as his hand began to tighten around her throat. Sigyn knew she was suffocating as her head began to swim. She desperately dug her nails into his hand in an attempt to bring some sanity back to Loki, and something very strange occurred. Maybe it was just the lack of oxygen playing tricks on her mind, but she could have sworn that for just a moment Loki's eyes turned red. She didn't have time to think on it however, as she began to lose the ability to fight. The only thoughts running through her head as the darkness began to take over was that Loki was about to rape and kill her.
Just when Sigyn thought everything was over for her, Loki suddenly released her throat from his vice-like grip. Sigyn gasped as she tried to coax air into her depleted lungs, and though it took her a few moments, she was finally able to sit up. Loki had backed away from her by this point, and was staring at his own hand in utter disbelief. His astonished gaze only landed on her for a second before the doors to the library burst open. They both looked over to see who the newcomer was, and Sigyn was both surprised and grateful to see Thor standing in the doorway. She protectively covered her throat with her hand as Thor looked between Loki and her.
"What did you do to her?" Thor demanded.
"I could ask you the same thing." Loki retorted.
"I would suggest you wait outside for a few minutes Sigyn. Loki and I need to have a little discussion." Thor recommended.
Sigyn was all too happy to follow that recommendation and nodded her head before sliding off the table. She was almost to the door when Loki spoke up.
"You were right Sigyn. You're not my pet you're his, now scamper off like your master bid you."
Sigyn's anger rose again, and she turned on her heel to confront Loki. Thor managed to intercept her before she could make her way over to Loki though.
"Please wait outside Sigyn." He requested a second time.
Loki leaned against a bookcase and smirked. Sigyn spotted a dagger in Thor's belt, and it took all of her self-control not to steal it and let it fly in Loki's general direction.
"No, you should bid her to stay here with us. We could have that threesome you always talked about… I for one would love to hear how prettily she screamed and begged you for her release."
Shock overtook Sigyn yet again. Loki's words would have caused even Fandral to blush, and that was no easy task. Without hesitation Sigyn made a break for the doors to the library and shut them tightly behind her. She couldn't bear to hear any more of Loki's poisonous words. Once she was safely outside the library she glanced around the corridor. She had no intention of waiting for Thor to finish talking with his brother. Sigyn was done being commanded by either of them, and she refused to stay in the palace a minute longer than she had to. There was no one in sight, so there was no one that could inform the two Princes that she had fled. She didn't even glance back as she ran as quickly as she could to the stables. She mounted Roan in no time and galloped away without any regret. Sigyn needed to be alone now more than anything, and she knew just where she needed to go.
She sat alone by the lake for who knows how long. There was no snow on the ground, but it was cold enough for the body of water to be frozen over. Even so, she made sure to stay some distance away from it. She hadn't been to this particular lake since Iounn's death, but she figured that she needed to remind herself that she had indeed had worse days than this, even if it was only one. It was still a little painful to breathe, but she hardly cared since it couldn't match the pain in her heart. The events of the day replayed in her mind like a nightmarish dream as she sat in silence. It was as if Loki's sanity had snapped, and he had become someone else entirely. His rage had been staggering, and she couldn't shake the sight of the treacherous gleam in his eyes from her mind. His eyes… Loki's beautiful green eyes… the same eyes that had so often held such love and regard for her had turned on her in hate and disgust. The image of his red eyes once again came to the forefront of her mind. The more she thought about it, the more she knew that her mind hadn't been playing tricks on her. His eyes really had turned red, but why? It was so strange, and it had never happened before that she knew of.
Sigyn shook the disturbing thoughts from her mind, and stood from her spot on the dead grass to walk closer to the edge of the frozen lake with caution. Perhaps it had been a mistake that Iounn had died instead of her. Maybe the Norn's had mixed up which one of them was supposed to die that day. Surely Iounn wouldn't have managed to make such a wreck of her life as she had, and for a moment Sigyn found herself wishing that it were her dead body that they had pulled from this lake. She sat down by the edge of the frozen water and looked over it, giving a start at the reflections on the surface of the ice that greeted her. One image was her own, but the other was something frightful indeed. The hooded figure that she had seen on numerous occasions from a distance was standing right behind her. Sigyn was paralyzed with fear as she stared at the woman's reflection. Her hood was still pulled low so Sigyn couldn't see her eyes, but the lower half of her face was visible, and would have been enough to shock even the bravest of warriors. Half of her face had white skin that was smoother and more beautiful than porcelain, while the other half was sunken in and a sickly grayish color. The hair that blew from under her hood was long and golden on the same side as her porcelain skin, and an inky black on the other side. Sigyn couldn't help but think that the woman was strangely beautiful and frightening all at the same time. She turned around quickly to confront her long time stalker, but there was no one standing behind her. Sigyn turned to look at her reflection on the icy surface of the lake once more, but the image had disappeared from there as well. Either Sigyn was hallucinating, or the woman in question was some sort of magician. Roan gave a whinny to alert Sigyn that someone was approaching, and she turned to see Frida riding her way.
"Sigyn!" Frida cried upon seeing her sister by the edge of the lake.
She dismounted her horse and ran over to Sigyn.
"What are you doing here!?" Sigyn asked in concern. "You shouldn't be running so soon after giving birth let alone riding!"
Frida enveloped Sigyn in a hug.
"I had to come looking for you! We were so worried when Prince Loki told us that you had left the palace and hadn't returned home!"
"Loki? You saw Loki? When, where?"
"He came to our home looking for you when one of mother and father's servants told him that you were supposed to be there to eat dinner with us…"
In her distress, Sigyn had completely forgotten that she was supposed to meet her parent's for dinner with Frida and Markus…
"he said you two had gotten in some sort of argument and that he couldn't find you."
"How did you know where to find me?" Sigyn asked.
"I am your older sister Sigyn, I know you better than anyone else does. Now tell me, what did you and Loki fight about?"
"It was nothing." Sigyn lied.
"Do not try to play this game with me Sigyn. Whatever it was must have been important for you to come seek solitude here…"
Frida pulled back so that she was arms length away from Sigyn, and that is when she noticed it…
"Sigyn… did Loki… did Loki do this to you!?" She inquired while bringing her fingers to brush Sigyn's bruised neck.
Sigyn shuddered at her sister's touch.
"…yes…" She whispered.
"Tell me everything Sigyn." Frida commanded.
Sigyn wasted no time in doing just that. Frida's expression shifted from pity, disappointment, shock, and finally anger as Sigyn confessed everything from finding Loki with Amora to arriving at the lake.
"How dare he… How dare he!" Frida fumed.
She grabbed Sigyn by the hand and pulled her to where their horses stood grazing. Frida mounted, and Sigyn expected that she wanted her to do the same. The two girls took off in the direction of Frida and Markus's house. Signy must have heard their approach because she was at the door right as Sigyn and Frida dismounted. Loki was at the door right behind her, and Sigyn drew back a little. He made a motion towards Sigyn, but Frida stepped protectively in front of her.
"Has Markus, father, and Hallsteinn returned yet?" Frida asked.
"Not yet." Signy replied with a confused look.
"Then you better go before they return." She warned Loki. "Prince or not, once they see what you've done to Sigyn there will be no title grand enough to save you from their wrath."
"What he's done to Sigyn? What are you talking about, Frida?" Signy asked in a worried voice before rushing over to inspect Sigyn.
Her mother gasped at the sight of her bruised neck and pulled her into a comforting embrace before turning on Loki as well.
"What did you do to my daughter!?" She demanded.
Loki stood there dumbfounded. Never before had Sigyn seen his words fail him so miserably, then again never before had he probably ever had two women of a lower station treat him in such a way.
"I am not jesting with you Prince Loki. Leave now while you still have a chance. Once my brother returns I will do nothing to stop him from defending Sigyn's honor in a manner that I cannot." Frida threatened.
Loki took the hint and nodded coldly to the three women before mounting his horse and heading back to the palace. Sigyn watched him go with mixed emotions, and her heart told her that this was it. She and Loki were through.
