A/N- But before this story, a story. A long year ago, a devoted reader of this story known as Wanderer101 gave me the idea for a chapter, and after a bunch of waiting I finally have the opportunity to write it, which means two things- originality and the credit for this one goes to Wanderer.


MASS MISCALCULATION

Episode 34- The legendary warlord- part 1


"You see this, Aaron?" Boss asked, gesturing to the whole of Illium from the penthouse pool.

Aaron squinted, trying to pick out something from the sprawling city, but mostly things looked the same. Nonetheless, he had looked, trying to pick something out from the masses of crowds below, but all looked the same.

Seas of blues, seas of purple, seas of… everyone else. Nah, looks pretty much the same.

"What am I looking for?" Aaron wondered, glancing at Boss.

"My friend, you are looking at something no normal gang could have made, something-"

"Cut the spiel," Aaron interrupted. "Whaddya want me to do?"

"Fine," Boss said, deflated. "Ruin my fun. You know, my life's not that exciting, so sue me for trying to make it more interesting"

Yes, because the former President of a alternate Earth now Emperor of aliens slash gang leader didn't lead that much of a thrilling life.

"The hell? Your life's boring?" Aaron questioned. "Boring? This coming from you?"

Boss grinned and raised his hands in defense. "Hey, I know I seem awesome and everything since I do a bunch of crazy shit all the time, but nobody ever sees the boring stuff I have to do all the time off-screen. Used to have a minigame on my phone so I could micro-manage shit but hey, that's out"

Aaron felt this would go on too long, so he relented. "Okay, I get it. So…."

Boss laughed while messing with his omni-tool, looking up briefly so their sunglasses could meet.

"So, if I gotta do boring shit, you gotta share the pain"

"Aw man, why?"

"'Cause I'm the Boss, that's why, so you might as well start the way I did- by doing some repeatable quests you really don't want to do over and over again, but you need to for the experience"

"… Your talking life experience, going out and exploring the galaxy, right?"

Boss waved a hand. "Yeah, sure, whatever, anyway!" Boss pointed to a purple Kodiak dropping down at the landing pad, and already Boss could hear Aaron groaning in annoyance.

"Oh come on man, I don't want to-"

"It's too late Aaron, I need someone to do this"

"Then get some random generic goon to do it!"

"Some generic goon can't pilot a ship" Boss said simply.

Aaron huffed. It wasn't really him that ever drove spaceships whenever he needed to, more along the line of the R.C. Possessor, but he could still pilot a ship single-handedly due to him being the only one able to use it. And he didn't know how it worked without a staff of crewmembers keeping an eye on the mass effect core or anything, but he didn't understand how his powers worked, so whatever.

Still… Aaron was lazy when he felt like it, and from what Boss was describing, this was the exact opposite mission a lazy person wanted to do. He was built to level things, damn it, not play delivery boy.

But, Boss was the Boss. That was the unspoken agreement they had always had, mad from the fact that in both universes they had been to, they were the only two in the entire worlds that agreed with each other, mostly Aaron agreeing with Boss, even on Old Earth before all this alien bull, which was most of the reason that Boss took the gang over after Julius. That and the fact he was still in deep sleep, but that wasn't important. Point was Aaron usually didn't listen to what anyone said, unless it was absolutely necessary, but Boss was the one exception.

"Fine," Aaron relented. "What am I doing?"

Boss pointed to the Kodiak while explaining, "so the agreement between the krogan clans aligned with Wrex is still going on, need you to haul a bunch of guns to Tuchanka to help with the peace effort"

Aaron tilted his head. "Guns help with peace?"

Boss shrugged. "Krogans," he explained, which in itself was good enough of a reason. "They start playing with WMD's again, yeah, start getting worried, but since there's virtually no chance of that happening you should be good"

"Yeah, like nukes even do anything to me," Aaron muttered. "Who am I giving the guns to?"

"Warlord named Wulfgar. Supposed to be this major unbeatable badass, conjured a bunch of clans, brought them together, I got a picture somewhere…" Boss fiddled with his omni-tool again, muttering under himself. "Used to be easier when I only had to worry about twelve buttons on a friggin' phone"

Aaron chuckled under his own breath. Oh, everyone knew Boss's hate for omni-tools, even after Kinzie figured out how to turn them purple. He was notorious for, well, not being a technophobe per se, just not good at using technology, from a DVR to a computer, he just wasn't good at technology. Omni-tools did not help the matter.

Omni-tools were basically holographic computers, everyone knew that. Boss already struggled in that aspect. Worst part was that a base omni-tool didn't label the it's tabs and shortcuts to get to the different programs on it, so usually you had to jailbreak them just to make them useable, which pretty much 90% of the galaxy did anyways.

Except for Boss, who had to have Shaundie jailbreak his omni-tool one stressful evening due to not being able to find a game he had downloaded and not knowing how to jailbreak. Then have her download and activate programs to navigate the programs easer.

Yeah, Boss was the best at shooting and leading people. But unless he was trying to use technology simplified to a dozen buttons or was trying to hack something that was as simple as a pipe puzzle, he was lost.

"Okay here," Boss projected a picture of what Aaron assumed was the most grizzled krogan he had ever seen. "Pretty gnarly, huh?"

Gnarly was an understatement. E had seen some big krogan in his life- some reaching the seven-foot limit- but this one met that bar and more, considering he had the muscles to crush a skycar with his thighs.

Wasn't any giant mutant krogan experiment gone wrong, but this guy was the next best thing.

"… Does someone like that even need a gun?" Aaron asked. "I feel life this guy eats bullets for breakfast. Like he just pours a bowl of bullets and blood and just sits there munchin' on them while using a thresher maw as a footstool"

Aaron had seen some crazy things during his adventure in his first two years surviving in this universe. During that, he'd seen some shit. Heard crazier shit. Hell, he'd personally done things that made his personality known to everyone in the galaxy, which meant he'd been around, and in those travels he'd heard stories of krogans.

Sure, they had a whole two sets of organs and some minor regeneration on the side and also happened to be a species with a ridiculous lifespan, so that alone made them overpowered. Not to mention the best of the krogan had biotics, and he heard things. He'd heard the best of krogan could lift thing ranging in the ton range of weight, witnessed it once personally one time, so he knew sometimes that krogan like that did more damage with a sword or hammer than a gun due to them being able to just destroy more than a gun could.

So he thought his concerns were a little justified when Boss was basically giving the most dangerous guns in the galaxy to a 'roided-up version of legendary krogan.

But hey. He was the Boss, after all.

"I wouldn't put it past him," Boss nodded, "but he's really helping with the effort. Even got praise from Wrex, which should mean something. Guy's untouchable, supposed to be this ultimate warrior, ain't no-one on that radiated rock touching him"


Meanwhile, in Wulfgar's camp

Bodies burned on stakes as all the women and children were herded out by other krogan, all the men dead or dying in the massive camp, now desolated as most of the structures were collapsed.

And at the center of it all laid Wulfgar on his knees… stripped naked, his brow-plate ripped off, and panting like a dog, a completely broken look in his eyes as he looked up at a krogan who was sitting on a throne he sat upon proudly not even five hours ago.

And that was the last thing he saw before a shotgun that made a claymore look like a peashooter in comparison blasted his whole head off, his body being flung back ten feet.

"Hmph…" an impossibly deep voice rumbled, shifting in the stone throne.

"Father," another voice sounded, this one another krogan but sounding more feminine, "was that really necessary?"

"Completely" the voice rumbled, two giant armored feet stomping down, walking a large krogan body to the downed one, kicking it aside.

"We came here," he continued, "To find you a mate, one that would be worthy of one of my blood. I had heard stories of Wulfgar, but to see him in person… I am less that amused at his disappointment"

The female krogan fidgeted slightly. "Maybe Wrex, from the Urdnot clan?"

"Bah," the large krogan waved a hand, "Forget them, if Wulfgar didn't meet my expectations, I doubt they will. No, we need someone… feared, revered throughout the galaxy. Someone who had stood up for what they believed in, someone who has passed insurmountable odds… someone who lasts more then twelve seconds in a fight" he shot Wulfgar's body for emphasis.

The female murmured someone along the lines of, "You can't be… you don't mean…"

"Yes… yes that's exactly who I mean! He would be perfect for you, no-one greater than him has ever opposed the krogan in the way he has and lived! And I have been working on the perfect solution to get around his power…" he patted his pocket and stepped to the edge of the camp, glancing up to the stars beyond.

"Only you… only you are fit to be the mate of my daughter, Aaron…"


"So yeah, I'm sure it'll turn out fine," Boss finished, "So, you ready?"

Aaron, groaned, rubbing his face. Boss's basic plan was for Aaron to fly an entire starship full of guns solo to Tuchanka, with a couple guards (mostly so he didn't get bored), drop them off at the camp, fly back, all would be good.

Of course he still didn't want to do it. Honestly he'd rather just laze about, maybe read a book, watch TV… something. Even with a Saint's zin-upgraded ship a trip from here to Tuchanka would still take awhile, and really it'd be him holding an analogue stick forward the entire time.

But… Boss' orders. Who was he to complain? Aaron, that's who, and that usually ended the conversation right then and there, but oh well.

Aaron let go of his face, shaking his head and looking at the dropship. "So, who's coming with me?"

"Aw, like you even need to ask!" said a voice right behind Aaron, and when hearing said voice, it took all the willpower Aaron could muster not to just vaporize Boss then and there for the hell he was about to got through.

Because that was Pierce's voice he just heard.

Don't get him wrong, Pierce was a great friend, strong morals and all that, brought fun to the party. Sure recently he'd hit a rough patch what with the whole zombie thing and everyone's increasing worry that he was legitimately addicted to Saints Flow, but otherwise good person to hang with. Could play chess now, something he had been surprised to hear the first time he had heard it. Maybe he could put a rubber band on the stick or something and have some games with him… regardless, even Pierce got bored after awhile, and the trip would most likely get boring after awhile.

Wait, who was that behin- oh for f-

"Pierce, you moron! You almost forgot this!" Matt yelled, carrying on what was likely a box full of fifty pounds of stuff, and from all the Nyteblade pictures on it, he could guess what was it, and Aaron also noticed a portable terminal under his armpit.

Great, three days with those two. Honestly, Aaron didn't have anything against Matt either, sure like everyone else he was wary of him after the stuff he did in Steelport, but he did change, and honestly Aaron liked having Matt around. He brought class to the gang.

Kid needed to unplug once in awhile, though. And he still wore that same Decker jacket with the glowing neon blue trim. And the goth makeup. The NyteBlade addiction, Aaron liked the show too but there was a limit, the British accent he could understand due to it being his homeland, but the goddamn makeup.

Aaron spared Boss a glance. "I hate you" he stated coldly.

Boss put on a big grin. "I know"

"Ah shit, sorry man," Pierce apologized, taking the box from Matt. "Spent all night packing a few crates of Saints Flow. Six days to get there and back and another day to unpack the guns make a week, so I needed to prepare"

"Well did you at least get the food?" Matt asked.

Pierce laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah, uh, thing is the Flow took priority, so… yeah…" Pierce backed up when he saw the deadly glare Matt was giving. "I, uh, put a pool table in there, too, if it makes you feel better"

"Guys, I already put some food in the ship, your good to go" Boss informed. Matt backed off, Pierce breathing a sigh of relief while Aaron grunted "Come on" and walked to the dropship, the other two following and piling into the dropship, the Kodiak flying them to the actual ship.

Boss waved goodbye to them, Shaundie walking up next to him. "They gone?" she asked.

"Yup"

She nodded. "I give 'em two days"

"I give them a few hours"


Day 1

The ship was a fairly decent cruiser, painted purple, zin make. Most Saint ship really were just an amalgamation of human and zin design, mostly human interior and zin technology, mostly because Boss thought that standard zin decoration was too dark and depressing.

Cargo bay full of crates of guns, mess hall cleared to house the pool table stacks of crates full of Saints Flow in the corner, and Matt sitting at the counter messing with his terminal while Aaron and Pierce played chess on the pool table, both sitting in stools while Pierce's omni-tool projected a holographic board, the R.C. Possessor somewhere in the cockpit with a rubber band attached.

Aaron had to admit, Pierce was better at this than he had thought. Oleg taught him well.

Speaking of which…

"'Sup, Oleg?" Aaron waved, looking at Matt's terminal which had a vid-chat window open, Oleg's face on it.

The large Russian nodded towards Aaron, saying, "Hello Aaron, Pierce"

"What's up my man, hey," Pierce pointed to the chessboard, "should I move the knight to take that pawn over there, it'll leave him open and let me take his bishop"

Oleg shook his head. "No, I've seen this play-style before, he is expecting that. Move your rook up three spaces, it'll corner his queen and get you in a position to move either you knight or bishop to it, you'll lose one but take the queen with the other"

Aaron raised his hands in protest. "Dude!" he yelled.

Oleg chuckled, then looked at Matt. "So, back to the matter at hand, you… you have the file, yes?"

"Yes, let me just send it to you… and there, window should pop up" Matt said.

Oleg face glanced down, then a smile formed. "Ah, good, good, thank you, friend. I, uh… need to go now, bye" and like that, he shut the chat off.

"Well that was shady as all hell" Pierce noted.

Aaron nodded in agreement. "Yeah… Matt, you didn't just, like, send a file of nude pictures of Kinzie to him or something did you? 'Cause CID told me you have those"

"No, I didn't… and I don't have them anymore, Kinzie made me delete them," Matt said, shuddering. He still remembers the pain from that time she had found out he had taken satellite pictures of her. "He just asked me for a file of information I gathered on her back when she was FBI and I was ruining her life"

Aaron shrugged. "Makes sense, her birthday's coming up soon, right? Probably wants to get her a good gift" he said. Come to think of it, he should probably get her a present eventually, mostly out of fear of what she would do to him or anybody who didn't get her something.

Girl could be scary when she wanted to be.

"Checkmate!" Pierce suddenly called after a few rounds, Aaron staring at the board while noticing he had followed Oleg's advice, taking the queen out and sub-sequentially leaving his king unguarded.

And the flipped the virtual board, the pieces fizzling out when they hit the floor.

"Fuck this rigged game" he growled as he stomped away, Matt and Pierce chuckling behind him.


Day 2

"CARDINAL!" NyteBlade yelled, holding both his swords while screaming to the sky on top of a building, rain pouring down on his as helicopters approached.

Meanwhile in reality, Aaron, Matt, and Pierce were sitting on a couch watching the show on a projection from Matt's omni-tool, the latter two eating Saints Pop.

"So my main man Frank here," Aaron started, "he's, like, a vampire right?"

"I thought you were caught up with the show?" Matt asked.

"Yeah, I am I am, but, uh… I mean, but realistically he'd be shredded by those choppers"

Matt's left eye twitched. "He would not, he- he's got vampiric reflexes, he'd just dodge the gunfire!"

Pierce looked over at Aaron strangely. "And your really saying that when you know a man who's fought twice as many helicopters… with a fork?"

"A'ight, fine. Jus' saying" Aaron relented. Not his fault in pointing out the realism in the show, he saw something amiss he was going to point it out.

Still would never hear the end of when Boss did that, though.


Day 3

"~Thirty-one cans of Saints Flow on the wall, thirty-one cans of Flow! Take one down, pass it around, thirty cans of Saints Flow on the wall~!"

Sometimes Aaron hated his life.

"~Thirty cans of Saints Flow on the wall, thirty cans of Flow! Take one down, pass it around, twenty-nine cans of Saints Flow on the wall~!"

Sometimes Aaron really, really hated his life.

"~Twenty-nine cans of Saints Flow on the wall, twenty-nine cans of Flow! Take one down, pass it around, twenty-eight cans of Saints Flow on the wall~!"

But at no point in Aaron's life had he hated it more then when those two idiots got bored after three days and started singing a perversion of 'Beer on the Wall'.

"~Twenty-eight cans of Saints Flow on the wall, twenty-eight cans of Flow! Take one down, pass it around, twenty-seven cans of Saints Flow on the wall~!"

It didn't help this was the fucking fifth time they've sung this song on repeat after ninety-nine cans.

"~Twenty-seven cans of Saints Flow on the wall, twenty-seven cans of Flow! Take one down, pass it around, twenty-six cans of Saints Flow on the wall~!"

It wouldn't take much, a small flux in power. He could easily vaporize them and the entire ship and just float in space for awhile. He wondered how long it would take for someone to find him. Likely Boss would first.

Aaron wondered how long he'd be yelled at for killing Matt and Pierce.

Maybe he should test that.

"~Twenty-six cans of Saints Flow on the wall, twenty-six cans of Flow! Take one down, pass it around, twenty-five cans of Saints Flow on the wall~!"

Because he couldn't handle another three days of this once they were off Tuchanka.

"~Twenty-five cans of Saints Flow on the wall, twenty-five cans of Flow! Take one down, pass it around-"

"Go to twenty-four, you two! See what happens!" Aaron screamed, pointing the Lazer Razor at them both.

The two glanced at each-other momentarily, then shrugged after having a unspoken conversation, screaming at the top of their lungs, "~One can of Saints Flow on the wall, one single can of Flow! Take one down, pass it around… but now there is no more Flow on the wall…~"

"So you know what that means, homie!" Pierce yelled happily.

"And what does that mean?" Matt asked.

Pierce picked a new can of Saints Flow up, a steady pile growing under him. "Means we ~have got… ninety-nine cans of Saints Flow on the wall, ninety-nine cans of Flow…! Take one down~ whoa Aaron, calm down!"

And Aaron for his part, had finally snapped. The two couldn't see it, but there was a mad glean in his blue eyes as he charged a sphere of black and blue energy at his outstretched finger.

"Come on, we were kidding!" Matt pleaded.

Aaron just laughed. "Gonna have some peace and quiet now, can-singa!"

"For god's sake, Aaron-!"

"Hey look," Pierce pointed, "we're here"

"Oh seriously?" Aaron immediately canceled the ball of energy, the two breathing a sigh of relief, and looked out the viewing port of the cockpit.

Ah, yep. There it was, Tuchanka- still an irradiated wasteland full of things that wanted to kill you on a daily basis. Uh-huh, climate was still deteriorating. Bases on the smog-filled clouds Aaron assumed weather was still shitty as hell. And he had to go there. again.

He didn't know why, but somehow Aaron felt like there was someone out there who knew what he was going through by going to this nuclear wasteland. Meh, must've been one of those weird feelings he got time-to-time.

"Oh, finally," Matt sighed, sitting down next to Aaron. The hacker groaned as he stretched his arm, and Aaron could faintly hear a few joints pop. "It's been forever since I've touched ground!"

"It been, like, three days" Aaron reminded.

"Exactly, three days," Matt huffed, "you realize that I'm a person who spends their life plugged in, right? I know in this universe we basically have galactic wifi, but connection gets fuzzy when in the middle of nowhere in space, amplified by the fact we go faster than the speed of light, my internet connection sucks, and Tuchanka doesn't help with shitty servers"

"Then… why did you come?"

"Oh, you know, wanted to explore, get to know the people… get my space legs…?" the way Matt was saying it like he didn't fully believe his own excuse made it hard for Aaron to believe him.

"We did 'nose goes' and Matt lost" Pierce explained.

"Ah" Aaron nodded, ignoring the fuming Matt was doing next to him.

A few minutes were set in silence, mostly dread setting in as they got closer. Since they'd be spending a day unloading, that means they'd have to spend the night.

Now, normally it was very difficult to sleep on Tuchanka- good thing Aaron didn't need to, so that sucked for Matt and Pierce. For, to sleep on Tuchanka, one had to get used to extreme conditions, such as; the constant sound of artillery going off either to ward off attacking krogan or vermin. Winds that could blow anything not tied down away. Something crawling up to you to kill and eat you in your sleep.

And of course beds made of rock, for krogan it was fine, humans, well, it was probably killer on your back.

Yeah, he didn't envy the two at all.

In fact, Aaron would have laughed at them if he didn't see Matt squinting at something in the distance, and when Aaron followed his gaze, he was surprised to see four lights coming off the planet, and coming towards them.

"What are those?" Matt asked.

"What are what?" Pierce made his way up to the cockpit, standing between them as he peered through the window, then his face relaxed. "Oh, those are probably just the fireworks, probably celebrating us giving them guns with explosions"

Aaron flashed Aaron a deadpan look. It was times like these he really wanted to smack him.

Back to the matter at and, Aaron looked closer at the lights, noticing the distinct phallic-shape on front and the- shit those were missiles!

"Oh, come on!" Aaron screamed, taking hold of the R.C. Possessor and careening the ship to the left, avoiding the missiles as they sailed past him.

Missiles, really. Who even used those anymore!? He even knew somewhere on Tuchanka there were AA weapon placement facilities, and he didn't even think anyone produced missiles anymore, which presented the question of-

The missiles turned, still going towards them. They had homing capabilities, great. Well, even so… zin plating and shielding were the best in the galaxy, so a few missiles weren't going to bring it down.

Unless they were nukes. Aaron really hoped they weren't nukes, because if they were Matt and Pierce were screwed if they were hit, and Boss would have Aaron's ass for losing the shipment.

"They're still following us!" Matt cried.

Pierce shook Aaron's chair, yelling, "you gotta dodge that shit, homes!"

"Pierce, calm down! I'm piloting this damn thing with a damn joystick and a wheel-thingie on the side, give me some credit!"

Believe it or not, piloting a space ship using a controller meant for a toy car proved to be more difficult than it sounded. But unfortunately, Aaron didn't actually know how to fly anything more complicated than a jet, so this is what he was working with.

Wasn't working out too well, to be honest. Missiles were already closing in on them.

"Do aerial maneuvers!" Matt screeched, seeing the missiles were getting closer, surly doing some barrel rolls would get them off the ships tail.

Aaron shot Matt a glare, muttering, "yeah, aerial maneuvers in space, I'll get right on that"

"You know what I mean!"

"Matt, they're fucking locked on to us, me spinning the ship isn't gonna help!"

When Aaron uttered those words, Aaron could have sworn all time had stopped as they both glared at him, glares more in shock than anything, both uttering large gasps.

"Aaron…!" Pierce gasped, shocked beyond belief, "what would Boss say?"

"Is this really happening?" Aaron thought as he looked to Matt for help, the hacker in the same state of shock.

"Guess so" he internally mused, looking at his options.

FTL wasn't an option, too far from the relay, and this ship couldn't jump on it's own. He could try planet side, but the last thing he needed was for him to be targeted by all krogan again because someone thought he has bombed the planet with missiles.

Well, it was an option at least. Put that at the bottom of the list.

But honestly, he didn't even know if the missiles would hurt the ship, they were unknowns, so he couldn't really gauge any strategy until he knew their power, if they barely did anything he'd just tank the missiles, if they hurt, well… he'd blame it on the fact that the missiles were faster than the ship.

Worst part is that wasn't even a lie.

So, in a strategy some would either call the boldest or dumbest maneuver in the history of space battle, he slowed down so he could be hit by a missile.

"Are you insane!?" Matt and Pierce yelled as the missiles rapidly caught up to them.

Aaron shrugged. "I'ma be honest with you guys, I wasn't at first, but after all the craziness the Saints brought to the galaxy I'm trying to figure out if anyone's sane anymore," he said, "and at this point I doubt there is a sane man out there"

But, no time to dwell, as one of the missiles hit, metal being blown apart reaching the cockpit, tortured screeching that only increased the anxiety of two out of the three occupants.

Aaron hummed, looking at the displays on all the holographic dashboards displaying the status of the ship.

"Ah-huh," he hummed, "well the missile just shredded through the shield, so that's bad…" the two visibly deflated. "Oh, huh, well… that's bad"

Matt was almost afraid to ask, but did anyways. "What is it?"

Aaron sucked some air through his teeth. "So, uh… we didn't need that thruster, right?"

Pierce paled. "We lost a thruster!?"

Aaron shrugged, waving a hand. "Yeah, but I mean, come on, we still got five more-" three more massive explosions sounded at the back on the ship, rocking the three hard enough to send them sprawling to the ground.

Oh… the other missiles. Right, Aaron forgot to speed up to avoid the other three. Whoops.

Aaron groaned, dragging himself up and looking at the displays again, and saw a 2-D image of the ship, with all six thruster which were located at the back of the ship flashing red.

Well, that was bad. No thrust meant no steering, and since they were already being propelled by the missiles and they're initial forward movement, combined with the planets gravity pulling them in, it wasn't hard to imagine where they were going. Missiles were gone at least, so that was a plus.

"Scratch that," Aaron reported, "we're headin' for the dirt"

The other two shot up immediately, watching helplessly as the planet closed in on them, growing bigger and bigger in size, both screaming.

"We need to get to the lifeboats!" Matt yelled, already heading to the elevator.

"We don't got those" Aaron said. When he saw Matt's stare, he elaborated, "cargo hold ran out of room, so Boss filled the escape pods with guns"

In retrospect, that was probably a major oversight for Boss to make. Or it would be if he hadn't done even stupider stuff in the past, so in all honesty this should really have been expected.

"So we'll just throw them out!"

"No time, we got about a minute and a half before we hit the ground," he stuck his thumb to the window, the ship already having entered the atmosphere, brown clouds whipping past the ship.

And what did those three do? Well, mostly they just held on to each other, screaming as they waited for Pierce and Matt's inevitable demise, the ground getting closer and closer.

Funnily, seconds before impact, Aaron noticed a lone figure in the middle of the wasteland, standing right under where they were about to hit. Aaron figured it must've been a random krogan, and figured he must just be a innocent bystander. Ah, well, bad luck for him, huh? Aaron almost felt sorry for the poor guy.

Those feelings of sorry immediately halted when the figure glowed in blue biotic energy, and held his hand out, the entire ship glowing blue as it immediately came to a standstill in midair, stopping inches from the ground.

Another thing to note was that the force of the ship being stopped slammed the three into the window.

"Hey guys," Matt groaned, peeling his face off the window, "what just happened?"

"Something important, probably" Aaron answered, feeling the ship move as it was lifted a few more feet off the ground. "Pretty sure that someone just caught us…"

Pierce's face lit up. "Oh sweet, they're gonna put us down! We're saved!"

Aaron frowned. Saved? Nah, that can't be right, Saint Luck didn't allow something like that, must've been something else.

And of course, he was proven right when the ship was cocked back slightly.

"Um, I'm sure they're just trying to find a nice spot to set us down on… heh heh…" Pierce assured.

And that assurance was immediately erased when the ship was sent flying forward, tumbling and spinning out of control.

And so here they were again, screaming for their lives, only this time being tossed around the cockpit instead of being stationary.

"We're spinning! Spinning!" Aaron screaming as he was bashed from wall to wall, making noticeable dents.

He was really glad he didn't have bones, at least most of the time.

The other two, not so fortunate. But two turned to three when the ship hit a mountain.


Boss coughed, sunglasses falling off his face as he dropped to his knees, eyes bulging.

"Boss!" Gat yelled, kneeling next to him, Boss breathing heavily.

"You okay, Playa?" Ben asked, stomping over to the two.

They saw the look in his eyes, and that look… that was the look of someone who had just sensed.

"I don't know, I…" he swallowed, hard. "I feel like the lives of hundreds of cans of Saints Flow have just been instantly crushed…"

Gat blinked. "You, uh, sure your feeling alright, Boss? Haven't had much to drink or anything like that?"

Boss shook his head slowly. "I don't think anyone's gonna be drinking anything for awhile, Gat…"


The burning wreckage of the ship was currently in the same state as the rest of Tuchanka; wrecked and burning. Grounded, too, if one were to account for the fact that this slag pile was never going to fly again.

A blue/black energy blade pierced through the hole, slowly cutting a square opening through the wall while the krogan from earlier had walked up to the wreckage. The second the square of metal fell away, Aaron had jumped out of the wreckage at a speed most would not be able to keep up with, flying directly at the krogan.

But, this krogan happened to be in the minority that could see Aaron dashing at him, and as he got closer the krogan glowed blue with biotic energy, using his own biotic-fueled dash to go right past Aaron, slamming something on his neck, causing Aaron to scream as he hit the ground, purple energy arcing around him as the krogan slowly walked up to his convulsing form.

Aaron, grimacing in pain, turned his body to see the approaching krogan. His vision was swimming in white, which usually lead to a decrease in eyesight, but slight blindness couldn't stop him from aiming a hand, dammit.

Or maybe it did, considering that when Aaron tried to blast the krogan with some fire more of the purple electricity sparked around him, causing him to cry in pain.

"Don't bother," a deep, baritone voice stated. And coming from a krogan, that was a lot. "That collar's restraining your powers, you aren't going anywhere"

"What!?" Aaron angrily thought. There was no way- NO, WAY, that someone finally made something to suppress his powers, it couldn't be done! Especially if pretty much every alien government in the galaxy couldn't figure it out!

But, it must have been true. Aaron trying to jump away yielded similar results, so movement was out, too.

"Damn," he had thought, "can't get away…" but he could still slash a sword.

And he tried, using every ounce of willpower he had to stand up and slash the sword at the krogan, who effortlessly caught his wrist and twist it, and make him drop his sword.

Not deterred, Aaron made a pistol and aimed it at the krogan's head, but he just swatted it out of his hand, punching Aaron on the side of his head in the process, flooring him.

"Forget it," the krogan rumbled, "your just a man with that collar on, give it up"

Now Aaron was starting to panic, no powers, no weapons, and he could barely move. Usually he'd joke about being in better situations, but right now wasn't the time for that.

He saw the large, meaty hand of the krogan come down, and could do nothing as it grabbed his face, walking away with a struggling Aaron, his yells muffled by the palm of the scaly hand.

Hearing footsteps behind him, the krogan turned around, two smaller ones behind him.

"Search the ship," the krogan bellowed in an oddly soft way, "take the weapons. And any Saints you find"

Now Aaron was redoubling his efforts, pathetically slapping the hand. He could worry about how he knew about the guns later, he couldn't let them get to Matt. Or the guns. Yeah, those two concerns.

But more electricity arced around him, tendrils of energy licking his entire body but just bouncing off the krogan, and he finally went limp, the krogan gesturing to the ship while he walked away.


Matt groaned, trying to dislodge him from the debris he was trapped under.

When the ship had crashed, a large part of it had fallen on him, Pierce was thrown somewhere else, Aaron had cut a hole through the ship to escape- to be honest a little help would have been nice- and with the ship in a smoldering wreckage around him, he wasn't rating his chances as being that good.

His hopes were lifted suddenly when he heard the metal in front of him shifting, Pierce lifting a chunk of the ship away using a torn bar of metal as leverage, running over to Matt.

At this point Matt would have thanked Pierce for saving him… until he ran completely past Matt.

Confused, Matt looked back at Pierce, yelling, "where the hell are you going!?"

"The Flow! I need to go get it!" Pierce screamed, "no telling how much survived from the crash, I gotta go get it before it all pours out!" Or even worse, he had thought, it goes flat. Nothing was worse than flat Flow.

Matt's jaw dropped, and he banged on the ground a few times. "Forget the Flow and come get me out of here, you damn addict!"

Oh, they were seriously talking about this when they got back to Illium.

Pierce looked at Matt, then the hallway leading to the Flow, then back to Matt, the hacker's eyes widening more and more the faster Pierce looked between the two of them.

"He's- he's actually trying to decide!" Matt thought, shocked. How was this even a choice, he was going to die! Flow may be replaceable, but his intelligence and good looks isn't!

"I'm going to burn to death if you don't help me up!" Matt pleaded. Maybe that would snap Pierce out of it, but Matt was starting to get pretty positive that wasn't going to happen.

"Eeeh, uuugh… fine, fine! Hold on!" it was a hard decision to make, but Pierce made it. Matt was very relieved he chose the blatantly right choice.

Standing in front of Matt, Pierce crouched down and gripped the wreckage pinning Matt, both grunting with effort as they tried to get the wreckage off of him, using all the might they could ever muster. Slowly, they started tapping into the hidden strength all humans had when the situation was dire, adrenaline fueling them as their strength was pushed more and more-

Yeah that hunk of junk wasn't moving.

"Keep… pushing…!" Matt encouraged through gritted teeth, the wreckage still not moving. If anything it was sinking lower.

"Can't… hah… too… much…!" Pierce groaned in exertion. "If only I had… more… energy…!"

"Pierce I swear to god if you go back for Saints Flow I will haunt your omni-tool!"

"Alright, alright! Damn man, so pushy"

"I'm going to die any second!"

"And that's no excuse for rudeness, dawg"


Two krogan walked into the wreckage, surveying the scattered parts that was tossed about in the crash. According to their leader, there should be a cache of guns here somewhere, guns he desperately wanted. Now if only they could find them…

"See anything?" asked.

"No…" the second answered, then pressed his helmeted head to the wall, gesturing to his partner, who went over to the wall with him, the second muttering, "wait, I hear something…"

"Keep pushing, Pierce!" a voice, human, had said from the other side.

"I'm pushing with all my might here, Matt!" the other had said.

"Okay, okay, it's good, it's giving away…!"

"Matt my arms are tired"

"I don't fucking care, keep pushing!"

"Ugh, Matt…!"

The two krogan looked at each other, speechless and shaking their heads. Humans, they swore. And of all the times… with the same gender…!

They walked into the room they heard the two in, attempting to break them up when they saw that 'Matt' was actually pinned under rubble and 'Pierce' was trying to dig him out.

"Oh, I get it," the first krogan said, "they're trying to get him out the rubble and in the process it sounded like-"

The other krogan hit him on the head, shaking his own. "I know what it sounded like, just get them"

The first krogan nodded, lumbering towards the pair while the second just stared at his partner, shaking his head, and following.


"Matt man, it just isn't any good!"

"Pierce, don't say that!"

"Look I know your trying to play the hero and sacrifice yourself to try to invigorate me to try harder, but it ain't working man, I just can't lift it!"

"I'm no hero here, I'm not sacrificing myself! I'm telling you to try hard-" Matt's voice caught when he saw the two forms walking behind Pierce. "P-Pierce! Behind you!"

"No-can-do, Matt!" Pierce grunted, "I'm gonna get this offa you, I won't give up until-" whatever Pierce was going to say was cut off when one of the krogan's wrapped his arms around Pierce's neck, Pierce struggling until he fell, to the ground.

As Matt looked in horror as the krogan dragged Pierce away, a second walked up to Matt, his helmeted head looking down, the red lenses of his helmet looking more sinister due to the lighting the fire was giving off.

"Mommy…" he had whispered, trying to shrink into the rubble with no avail.

The krogan released a rumbly chuckle. "Momma ain't helping you where your going"

The last this Matt saw was a boot going down towards him before everything went black.


A/N- So apparently there's multiple parts now! Dunno how that happened since this was supposed to be just one part, but somewhere in making this the chapter got out of control and decided to be super long, so yeah, part 2 coming soon.

Which means more work for me, yay…

Anyway, should probably do an outro of some sort, signify this split. -Ahem-

Is this the end of the true heroes of this story, Matt and Pierce?

Who is this mysterious krogan, and how did he manage to subdue Aaron and carry out this plan?

Will Boss come to save the day?

Will Pierce ever get an intervention?

Find out next time on Mass Miscalculation Z Kai…!

Yeah that was pretty terrible, cya.