A/N – Thanks for the comments! Lots of going on in this fic lol. I like to keep you guessing! * doralupin86 – re: Stefan, too soon for being in love. Thanks!
Chapter 18
Liz approached the bed and he held his arms open and she hugged him as she cried. "I'm going to make an appointment to see a therapist. I don't know why I put it off."
"You weren't ready to face it."
"Why are you so understanding?"
"Should I be another way?"
"No. I think you're great just the way you are."
Jason closed his eyes. "I couldn't find a better friend."
She shook her head. "I basically kidnapped you into coming here and wouldn't let you go."
He smiled. "That was very dramatic."
She grinned through her tears. "You always make me feel better." She pushed off the bed and wiped her face.
"Make the call." It wasn't easy for him to watch her struggle.
"I'm going."
She went into the other room and called the hospital and asked for Lainey.
"Hello?"
"I know it's late, but it's Elizabeth Webber. I wondered if you had any openings tomorrow."
Lainey was caught off guard, but glad that Liz had sought her out. She knew all about the wing collapsed and wondered if Liz was having problems because of it. "Let me check."
She looked at her calendar. "I can fit you in at two o'clock."
"I'll be there."
"See you tomorrow."
She poked her head into the doorway. "Done."
"I'm proud of you."
"Thanks."
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Carly walked into Jason's room. "Did you miss me?"
"That depends on what is in that bag."
She smiled. "Contraband."
His eyebrow rose. "Please tell me it isn't cheese curls."
She laughed. "Nope."
"Hmmmm. Beer?"
"Nope."
He was stumped.
"Ribs, hot salsa, and chips."
He smiled. "Sounds good. Did you bring enough for Elizabeth?"
"Yup. I called her before I came over and brought her something."
She got out a tray and put down plenty of napkins before they dug in.
"Good," Jason said before taking another bite.
"You have to try the salsa. It's to die for."
They happily ate.
"This is messy."
"Don't worry. I'll help you clean up. The messier they are the better they taste. Next time, you should be able to have a beer with it."
"Do I like beer?"
"Francis told me what kind. I've got your back."
"Thanks."
When they finished, she went into the bathroom and ran a washcloth under the water and brought it back and cleaned him up.
"I can get used to this service."
"Trust me, once your back on two legs, the cleanup is all up to you. You forget I do this all day long."
"Thank you, Carly."
"You are very welcome."
"So, how was your day?"
"Okay, I guess. Do you remember the little girl that drew on your cast?"
"Kylie."
"Yeah. She's back in the hospital."
"Why?"
"She was having seizures. They aren't sure what is wrong with her."
Jason frowned. "You should tell Elizabeth. They bonded."
"I will on my way out."
Someone knocked on the door and Jason wondered who it was.
"Anything new?" Carly asked.
"I'm going to talk to my dad about staying with them after I get the cast off."
"Really? Why?"
"I just—Elizabeth is going through a lot and I feel like I'm interfering."
"Does this have something to do with Johnny?"
"Yes."
"Is he jealous of you?"
Jason shrugged. "I don't know, but they need some time to themselves. Elizabeth has too many things going on to babysit me constantly."
"Was that why she looked like she was crying?"
He nodded. "She'll be okay."
"I heard that her ex is in town."
"I met him."
"And?"
He made a face and Carly grinned.
"Was someone jealous?"
"He has nothing I want."
"Because she's not into him?"
"No."
Carly was convinced that Jason was falling in love with Elizabeth, but had no clue. She just hoped that in the end Liz chose him or she was scared Jason's heart would be broken.
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Liz sat next to John on the couch. "You should have called first."
"Why?
"I could have been busy."
"Johnny isn't here."
Her head tilted. "And how do you know that?"
He smirked. "Good question."
"One you're not going to answer?"
"Nope."
"You are still a pain in my ass."
"But you loved me."
Their eyes were locked like they were in battle. "I did."
"I hate that when you look at me, you look sad—that I remind of you what you lost."
"I'm sorry."
"Sometimes, life isn't fair. We could have been married and had several kids by now."
"Or not. We were kids."
"I know what love is and I loved with you with all my heart."
She looked away as tears threatened to fall.
"We were robbed. Nothing has made sense in my life since then. I mourned you. I was miserable."
"I was too."
"I know you're with Johnny, but it's not serious. I need you to give me a chance to prove that I can be the man that you always believed in."
"I'm not the same person."
"Fundamentally, you are, but you buried her with the pain. I'm asking you to let her be free so you can be whole and just maybe, we can be together."
She stood. "You just can't come waltzing back into my life and expect me to drop everything and be with you."
"Why not? We were good."
"It doesn't work like that."
"You can do anything you want too. We have history—unfinished history and I think we both deserve a chance to see if we should be together or not."
"I'm begging you to not push me on this. I can't handle it right now."
He stood and pulled her into his arms. "I'm sorry. Don't cry. I wrote you so many times, but I take it you didn't get the letters?"
She shook her head.
"I guess my dad confiscated them. When I tried to call your house, it said the number had changed. I eventually gave up."
She gripped his shirt as she tried to fight for control over the sadness that was permeating her body. He was everything to her and then he was gone and now he was standing in front of her begging for a chance and she felt nothing but the urge to scream due to the unfairness of the situation.
He laid tiny kisses all over her forehead. "I could fall back in love with you so easily and that scares me too. You are the only woman who has ever had the power to crush me. Please don't cry, baby."
Slowly her gaze met his and she stepped backwards. The level of intimacy was just too much. "I need some time alone."
He wasn't very happy about that, but he understood. "I'll call first next time." He turned to leave and she touched his arm.
"Please don't be mad at me."
"I'm not. I'll call you tomorrow."
He left and Carly walked into the room.
"He's playing you."
Liz's head jerked towards her voice as she swiped at her face. "What?"
"He wants you and he's not going to back down. Right now, he's freaking out and trying to come up with a game plan to win you back because you are the one that got away and he can't get over it."
"You sound like you have some experience with that."
"I do. Be careful. He's not a bad person, but sometimes when a person wants what they can't have, they go to extremes to get it."
"I'd like to say that John would never do that, but he was the bad boy."
"If you don't want him, then you are going to have to tell him in no uncertain terms that you aren't interested."
Liz didn't say anything.
"Are you interested?"
"No."
"That didn't sound convincing."
"I had a baby with him and they were both ripped away from me. Seeing him is equal parts happiness and pain. I loved him. I've always wondered where he was and then he shows up and wants to be with me and I'm not going to lie. I'm thrown. Wouldn't you be?"
Carly sat on the couch. "Hell yeah. I don't envy you at all, but you can't go backwards. You are not the same person and you also have Johnny and Jason to consider here."
Liz plopped into a chair as mental exhaustion set in. "I don't even know who I am anymore. I've buried who I was in a tomb of pain. I'm starting therapy tomorrow."
"Sounds like it's just in the nick of time. Trust me, you don't want to let all that angst implode. If you do, you're gonna say and do things to people that you can't take back." Carly knew that lesson all too well.
There was pounding on the door, making Liz groan. She wiped her face and threw open the door and was immediately tackled.
Carly jumped up. "What the hell?"
"You bitch. You're ruining my life," Maxie said as they rolled around on the floor.
"Get off me before I kick your ass."
"Oh no, the only person getting her ass kicked tonight is you. How could you?"
"What the hell do you think I did?" Liz said as she straddled Maxie and held down her hands.
"You had someone steal my sex video and then post some of it online."
Liz sighed. "Maxie, you are the last thing on my mind."
"I find that hard to believe."
"You run around town talking shit about everyone, mostly spreading lies, and then when the tables are turned, you act like you're the victim. Priceless," Carly said.
"Oh shut up. At least I didn't sleep with my step-father."
"And who did you sleep with Maxie?" Liz asked.
"Don't act like you don't know."
"This is how this is going to play out. I'm am going to get off of you and you're going to take your skanky ass home. You will not come near me again or there will be hell to pay. And if you ever touch me again, I will have you arrested. Is that clear?" Liz yelled.
Maxie's eyes filled with tears. "He'll leave me."
"You should have thought of that before. I hope Dante was worth it."
Liz got up and Maxie slowly stood.
"This isn't over."
"You may want to change your mind about that."
Maxie slammed the door on her way out.
"Are you okay?" Jason yelled.
"Yeah," she said as she smoothed her shirt down. "Just peachy."
"I have to go. I don't think she's coming back."
Carly left and Liz walked back to the bedroom.
"What was that all about?"
"Maxie was here. She thinks that I did something that will blow her life apart."
"Did you?"
"No. It was Sarah, but I agreed with it. It's about time she knows what it feels like to be exposed. She cheated on her boyfriend and everyone is going to know. If she doesn't stop splattering my personal life all over the place, then we'll reveal another affair. I'm done taking her shit.
Jason smirked.
"What?"
"I like it when you're feisty."
"Well, get used to it. I have a feeling that side of my personality will be more prevalent. I didn't realize how much I missed her."
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The next morning, Sarah woke up to find Stefan looking out the window. She sighed and sat up and he walked towards her.
"Good morning."
She wiped some hair out of her eyes. "Hey. I'll be right back." She went into the bathroom and splashed some cold water on her face and then went to the bathroom. Her life was a shit show and she wasn't quite sure what she was going to do about it. After a few minutes, she went back to him.
"You okay?"
She nodded.
"Doesn't look like it. Do you regret it?"
She swallowed hard. "I know."
"What?"
"I know that you were with my mother."
Stefan took a step backwards as he processed that. "How?"
"I overheard them talking."
"And you came over here?"
She took a deep breath. "Yes."
"Sarah," he groaned.
"I kept thinking that you would stop it, but you didn't."
"Did you want me too?"
"Yes. I had all figured out that you would do the noble thing and let me down and then confess, but you didn't. Why?" Her eyes filled with tears. She was embarrassed and disappointed at the same time.
"I—Sarah, I didn't sleep with your mother."
"I find that had to believe."
"It's true. We made out, but that is as far as it got."
"Why her?"
Stefan sat down. "She was upset and came to me and I was comforting her—."
"—and one thing led to another. You know that I cared about you."
"I wasn't thinking."
She made a noise. "I'm so glad that I was just some blip on your radar."
"Sarah! Stop this."
"So you couldn't have her so you decided that I was the next best thing?"
"No. It wasn't like that."
"Or are you just a sucker for vulnerable woman?"
He stood and took a few steps forward. "I never said I was perfect. I'm as screwed up as everyone else."
She rushed at him and pounded on his chest as Stefan tried to grab her wrists. "Why am I never enough? I'm not some cheap whore."
He grabbed her and hugged her to his body so she would stop. "I would never think that you were. I'm so sorry that you are hurting."
"I can't believe she did that to my dad."
"I did it to him to. Do you hate me?"
She pulled back. "I only feel anger and pain right now. Give me a minute. I'm sure that's next."
"How can I fix this?"
"You can't. I don't want your pity." She tried to pull away and he pulled her back and crushed his lips against hers, kissing her torridly. At first she was stunned and then she tried to fight him, but he continued to ravish her mouth until he heard her moan and her body started to relax.
"I don't want her. I want you."
"I don't believe that. I am nothing compared to her. I have to go."
She picked up her clothes off the floor.
A tear ran down Stefan's cheek and she froze.
"Everyone leaves me. My whole life has been doing what everyone else wanted me to do. I have never really felt loved. I stay to myself because Helena drummed it into my head that I wasn't worthy. I pushed you away because I thought I wasn't good enough for you and that I would just hurt you and that is exactly what I ended up doing anyway. I returned your mother's kiss because the fact that she would put me in that position crushed me. It just fed all my insecurities. This is who I am, Sarah. I'm weak, twisted, and flawed. I'm good at one thing and that is saving lives, so that is what I concentrate on. Love, I don't understand. I don't know how to navigate it." He dropped to his knees as he fought a sob.
The clothes tumbled from her hands and she slowly moved towards him and he gripped her legs as he cried. She was in shock that Stefan was so wounded. He pulled her down onto his lap and cradled her.
"I'm so sorry for hurting you. Please forgive me and let me make it right."
A tear spilled down her cheek and she gently touched his face. "Okay."
He kissed her reverently and they slowly made love again.
