PoVi's note's on ch. 3:

voo: a Homeworld Gem made, handheld electronic musical instrument consisting of two small panels (one for playing notes, the other for modifying how the notes sound) connected by a rotating hinge. Older models have small keypads and dials, while newer models make use of touchscreen interfaces. The sounds a voo is capable of producing are comparable to those of a synthesizer.


...

Like the finest of cut diamonds, the stars twinkled in the most mesmerizing way against their endless, twilight background.

In every direction white, red and light-blue points of brightness adorned a midnight-blue expanse, lending it an intriguing and inspiring beauty; in return, the dusky surroundings served to bring out the brilliance of the stars, and they shone as majestically as anyone could ever hope to see them.

Closer to the ground a number of ethereal, pale-gold ribbons radiated from a point above the centre of a small lake. Like waves suspended in time and space, the curious sheets gently rose and fell all the way along whatever path they traced through the air — dimming to near-invisibility as they extended above the fountains that hung, unsupported, over the surface of the lake.

The stars, the ribbons and the sky's gentle gradient from deep-blue to pale-purple, gave the area a mystical atmosphere — and it was here, in the room she had so meticulously designed for herself, that Pearl chose to sit as she contemplated the more upsetting aspects of her life.

There was just so much to deal with at the moment: unwanted reminders of how life was going to be from now on, unpleasant developments that reinforced who Rose's new favourite was, the anxiety that never really went away; and then there was the recurring thought that she should be looking for a long-term solution to her problem with 'Rose and Greg'...

Problems with 'Rose and Greg' was more accurate… And some of them might not even be problems, if she could feel differently about them; perhaps what she needed to figure out more urgently was how to avoid getting swept up in the same whirlwind of unhappiness?

…Should it even be necessary to figure that out though?

From time to time she found herself asking if her pain was usual, justified... or if she was overreacting to what was happening with Rose —like she had been overreacting to everything else lately...

With a renewed sense of purpose, Pearl exhaled deeply. She wouldn't be overwhelmed, not this time... She'd chosen the perfect place, she was dedicating this time to constructive thought, and she was making adequate progress towards a more positive outlook for herself.

On all sides, water cascaded down around her in an illuminated cylinder — overflow from the fountain above; the rushing sound it made as it poured into the lake was just quiet enough for her to hear herself think, but loud enough to be relaxing and to keep her focused — all of which were crucial for what she was trying to do. …It was actually something she should've done a long time ago, back when she had first realised that she was losing the fight for Rose…

'Everything is a fight now— or ends in one.' she thought, feeling negativity try to creep into her mind. But with the three people she valued most carrying on with their lives like nothing was wrong, she saw it as an unsurprising consequence that she'd become rather confrontational. Maybe that was her problem: she'd decided that her reaction was the appropriate one and everyone else didn't care enough, when actually she cared too much, and was making things out to be far worse than they were.

That made sense. It explained why nobody else was as upset as she was, and when she thought about it further they did have a point: Rose was still going to be Rose, even if she did marry Greg — only the way she spent her time was going to change.

No... That wasn't… It was more complicated than that.

Greg was receiving the very specific form of Rose's love that she had always wanted, the love that she had always expected to get, eventually... It wasn't fair; it had reduced her to tears on more occasions than she cared to count, but what terrified her was the idea that that love Rose had decided to give to him, would in time come to sever their unique connection. Yes, Rose would still love her, but it would be the same love she had for Garnet and Amethyst: she would become 'one of the Gems'… and while the others were content with being that, she never could be. Her special relationship with Rose was the most precious thing she'd ever gained, and had become a key part of who she was; of all the things she had achieved, the fact that someone like Rose had chosen her as a confidant was what she looked to whenever she questioned her self-worth...

She took a slow, deep breath in... and after a moment released it just as slowly, feeling calmness fill her once again.

'It isn't going to come to that.' she told herself as firmly she could.

This was 'Rose and Pearl' she was talking about: Rose Quartz, and her, Pearl. They had been together for millennia — through struggles that most people couldn't possibly imagine, and they had overcome them all, together. Their trials had brought them as close as two Gems could be without being permanently fused (which she knew wasn't really Rose's 'style', and actually, that suited her fine as well: being fused with Rose was a wonderful, empowering experience, but she preferred being able to see, and touch, and interact with her favourite person with her own body) — a bond like theirs was easily strong enough to withstand some human boy, even if he had managed to steal a worrying amount of Rose's love...

'Yes,' Pearl thought, 'everything is going to be fine.'

Rose was occupied a lot of the time: she was a busy person with her own life, but it couldn't… it wouldn't be much longer before she realised how upset her best friend really was. Something very small would be done: a stray word spoken, a response might take fractionally too long to arrive, or the right (or wrong) question might be asked and instantly, Rose would be able to tell that she wasn't okay at all…

…And she would know how to change that.

It was all a matter of time… The upcoming wedding cut deeply because it affected her in a very personal way, but the serenity of her room allowed her to think past that temporarily and instead see it as a more general 'significant event'. When she thought of it like that, the problem finally started to look like one that she could cope with: hearing about Greg all the time was torturous — even when she was talking to the others she never really got the chance to focus on anything other than why she felt the way she did — but just like with finding Amethyst, or with the war, this wouldn't be the focus of their lives forever. Things happened to them, significant things, life-changing things… but they didn't talk about those things every day, and ultimately it would be the same with Mr. Universe.

She hoped it would be the same anyway…

But she'd underestimated him before…

Pearl opened her eyes and sighed. With things the way they were, trying to be positive was difficult. She did feel better than she had in a while though (not that that was difficult to manage)… maybe after a few more months, or years of this she'd feel like she had before he came along.

The meditative Gem sat in place for a few minutes longer as she decided on what she wanted to do next, quickly realising that she didn't want to do anything except talk to Rose. It was then that she heard the unmistakable chime of the warp pad; the sound was faint, barely audible over the noise of the fountains and central waterfall, but it was enough to catch her attention. Perhaps it was wishful thinking but something told her it was Rose who had just arrived, and at once she stood up with the intention of finding out before whoever it was could go elsewhere. The curtain of water momentarily parted to let her out without getting wet, and she skipped briskly over the surface of the lake towards her door, opening it only slightly in case the noise had just been Amethyst or Garnet leaving the Temple.

What she saw through the narrow gap wiped the small smile from her face:

On the far side of the warp pad stood Rose in all her pink-haired glory, absolutely enthralled by none other than Greg himself. He was talking in a most animated fashion about something, so much so that it looked to Pearl like he was attempting some form of dance. Rose's eyes didn't leave him for even a moment; her smile was wide and bright… she hung onto his every word.

It was plain to see that she adored him.

The way Rose looked at him… it was the same way she looked at Rose…

Pearl could almost feel the layer of frost forming on her gem as anything positive was drained from it: there he was… this unremarkable, scruffy-looking, impulsive, interfering human — the architect of her misery — in front of the temple like he was welcome to be there. And how long had he been waiting there before she arrived anyway?

What she wouldn't give to make him disappear…

He must have said something particularly amusing, because Rose suddenly threw her head back and her shoulders bounced cheerfully as she laughed. Pearl had had enough of watching the infuriating spectacle, and once Rose's laughter had subsided she opened the Temple Gate to its widest and walked over to the pair, wanting to know what he was even doing here.

They'd been so focused on each other that neither of them had noticed the small divide she'd been peering through, but the movement and sound of the Gate opening completely made it impossible to miss. Greg abruptly stopped what he was doing and fell silent — 'Good.' Pearl thought smugly — while Rose beamed welcomingly, clearly pleased to see her.

"Hello." the larger Gem said brightly as she approached.

"Hello, Rose," she replied with a smile, taking her place in the conversation, "…Hi, Greg." she added brusquely.

"Pearl." Greg acknowledged politely.

"How's my pearl doing?" Rose asked.

"She's doing okay… How are you doing?"

"Wonderfully, thank you: today is turning out much better than I'd expected."

"That's great; your mission must've been fairly straightforward for you to be back so soon; I wasn't expecting you until this evening…"

"Oh, it was… And I probably wouldn't be back yet, but luckily I've had some help: there's this lovely tribe that's settled into one of the smaller structures around the Ziggurat, and they'd found and dissipated most of the corrupted Gems in the area before I arrived. From what I could understand, hunting the poor things is a part of how they choose their leaders." Rose explained.

"That's quite impressive." Pearl admitted. Confrontations between humans and corrupted Gems tended to end messily (to say the least) and not in the human's favour; thankfully it was very infrequent, but when it did happen… it was a sharp reminder that the Earth still needed their protection.

"I thought so too. But one of the fights I did have to have, revealed a hidden door inside one of the rooms in the Ziggurat itself — concealed by a secondary security system just for that room."

"What was behind the door?"

Rose grinned and leaned in close:

"It's nothing too exciting: just a data prism with some battle plans on it, a few small, personal things and a really beautiful, old-fashioned voo." she whispered into Pearl's ear.

"Oh, okay. But why are you whispering?" Pearl whispered back (though she did like how close they suddenly were, and the fact that Greg couldn't hear).

"Because I don't want to spoil the surprise. When I saw the voo I knew I had to show it to Greg: it's the sort of thing he'll love! And it'll be nice to show him something that wasn't made for fighting for once."

"Oh." Pearl responded coolly, her voice returning to its normal volume. "You're not staying then?"

She didn't know why she was even bothering to ask, she already knew the answer…

"Rose, I'm gonna go wait over there…" Greg declared before Rose could reply. He found it weird how the bitterness that had crept into Pearl's voice was subtle, sort of, but at the same time it was still really obvious… Either way it was there, and he was gonna let the ladies finish their conversation before the ice queen found another reason to give him that death stare…

"Okay, I won't be long." Rose called back before turning to answer Pearl: "No, I can't stay — I need to get those corrupted Gems back, but I don't want to just… take them—".

"I could do it…" Pearl suggested hopefully.

Rose chuckled at the pragmatism of her left-hand Gem:

"I know you could," she agreed, "but it'd be nicer to give them something for their trouble. Something useful, that can't regenerate and harm anyone."

"Yes, you're right. That does sound better."

The pink-haired Gem smiled.

"So, I'm not staying for long: I just came to get something to exchange with the tribespeople, then I'm going to give Greg a tour of the Ziggurat before we watch the sunset." she informed Pearl. Then, she noticed how disappointed the Gem looked and added, "But after that, I'll be back for the rest of the night. …Was there something you wanted to talk about?"

Staring out into the ocean, Greg decided that the Gems had built the Crystal Temple in a really sweet spot. It was a little cut off from the rest of the city, but between the amazing view, the peacefulness of the area and having the beach as a front yard, he felt that it was the sort of location he'd be happy to live in (if he ever decided to live in one place; the world being his garage and all… or something…).

A tickling on his exposed heels made him look down in time to see a narrow ripple passing through the sand towards the ocean. He was watching the first strange wave dampen to nothing when a second swept past him, once again throwing sand against his foot.

"What the…?" he began, turning around to see source of the freaky occurrences.

"Whoa."

Along the line where the polished stone of the Temple met the beach, long, conical spikes were slowly extending out of the sand. Their steady growth from the material around them was fascinating, but so creepy at the same… It was like they were possessed, the way the little shapes tilted and slid around in random directions… like they were being controlled by someone who couldn't concentrate…

Another pulse moving across the sand snapped him out of his daydream — with a shudder he looked up from the floor, to watch Rose and Pearl briefly instead. They were still just talking… maybe the sand thing was normal around the temple?

He was beginning to wonder if he'd ever get used to their magical Gem stuff…

"…Good. Now, you wait right there, and I'm going to grab the amulet I plan to exchange." Rose said when Pearl looked a little happier.

"Okay." Pearl replied.

With that, Rose moved towards the Temple Gate and vanished into her room. As Pearl impatiently waited for her to return a frown spread across her face: the sight, and the thought of Rose and Greg enjoying themselves together was making her as miserable as ever, and the realization that her meditation had been a complete waste of time was making her feel stupid. She should have stayed where she was when she heard the warp pad but no, she had forced herself to believe that seeing Rose would change something —or prove that something had changed, when in fact she and everything else were very much the same.

She walked slowly around the edge of the warp pad to pass the time, eventually coming to a stop on the opposite side; seconds later, the y-shaped seal of the Burning Room slid apart and Rose stepped out — the amulet she had mentioned hanging around her neck.

When she'd made the short walk to where Pearl was standing she took some time to regard her: neither Gem said anything for a few long moments, they simply… focused on one another, each taking something different from the exchange. Rose opened her mouth for the briefest instant and then closed it again, remaining silent; instead, she carefully reached out and placed her hand on the soft, pale skin of Pearl's cheek…

Pearl made no attempt to move under Rose's delicate touch; she felt like she was really being noticed, by the only person it was important for her to be noticed by, and for as long as the contact lasted she wasn't going to do anything to disguise how she felt or influence Rose's reaction…

But all too soon the hand was removed from her face. Rose must have concluded that whatever was wrong with her was temporary, because she chose not to make anything more of their interaction.

"Alright, I think we should get going now: Greg wants to get something from his van first." Rose announced in a slightly more serious tone that she'd been using earlier. "I'll see you later."

"Yes, see you later." Pearl confirmed, bringing herself to smile.

Rose returned the gesture and then turned to begin her departure: Pearl watched her make her way around the warp pad, across the Temple's shiny floor and onto the sandy ground beyond, where Greg was waiting. They began to talk again and shortly after that, proceeded to stroll in the direction of the city.

She was left standing by herself, staring at their backs... Forgotten already. Watching them — so excited about the trip they were going on — made the feeling of loneliness almost physical, like a draft she couldn't ignore; involuntarily she wrapped her arms around herself, wishing they were Rose's arms instead.

Then something inside of her spoke up:

'But when Rose could've hugged you, she didn't.' it reminded her.

In the scheme of things it wasn't important: understandably, Rose was in a hurry to do something she wanted to do, and before she left she said that the two of them would spend time together when she got back — one missed hug shouldn't matter…

But in that moment, there, in front of the warp pad… it had mattered to her.

In a flash of resentment her misery ignited, becoming fuel for the flames of her anger. She glared after the happy couple — growing more and more enraged the longer she thought about how much had been taken from her. Then, just as they were about to disappear from her line of vision, she saw their hands reach for each other and their fingers interlock…

For a few seconds the ivory Gem could do nothing but stand, unmoving, where she was; stunned by an emotional overload. As soon as regular thought had resumed she turned and stalked single-mindedly towards the Temple Gate, violently snatching her spear from her gem on the way. She hadn't summoned the weapon for any particular reason, but as her hand trembled around its pearlescent shaft she was glad that she had: it had never failed her when she'd needed it… Comforted by its solidity she put her other hand on the spear, and tightened her grip on it to try and stop her hands from shaking.

A few more steps brought her to the gate, which responded to the presence of her gem and opened without ceremony. She froze in surprise when her door shifted to admit her, because her room was not entirely as she had left it: at the edge of the lake closest to her stood Garnet, looking up at the ribbons above the fall that led to Amethyst's room.

Now on her guard, Pearl slowly began to approach Garnet; and Garnet — who had heard her arrive — turned to face her:

"What are you doing in my room?" she asked quietly. Her measured, even tone served to make the question extremely menacing.

"Trying to stop you from destroying your stuff." Garnet replied, totally unfazed by the frosty welcome she'd been given.

"Excuse me?"

"I'm sorry for coming in uninvited, but the things you keep in here —your things… you keep them because they mean something to you. When Holo-Pearl fails to calm you down you're going to—"

"I'm going to what, break everything I can get my hands on!? HOW IS THAT ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS, GARNET!?"

"It isn't, but I—"

"No, it isn't! So just go back to your own room and watch someone else's future, okay!? I don't need you keeping an eye on me, I can look after myself!"

"…I know you can, that's not what this is about. I'm here because I care about you." Garnet explained with genuine concern.

"If you want to show me that you care then get out of my room! Now!" Pearl unyieldingly insisted.

"…Okay. If that's what you want… I'm sorry, Pearl." Garnet said softly.

Respecting her friend's desire to be alone she began to make her exit: she passed Pearl in silence and the door opened to let her out, but she didn't go through it — instead she stopped, and without turning round she said:

"You're not alone, you know. Amethyst and I… we need you. …We're going to need to need you…"

Pearl didn't reply, and as quickly just as their talk had started, it was finished — marked by the closing of the door behind her. Her grip on her spear tightened to a painful level as everything that had happened in the last hour or so flashed through her mind…

She just… didn't know what to do.

Not about Greg, about Rose, with herself… everything was a mess; she was a mess! Her whole life was falling apart around her and she wasn't doing anything to stop it!

'WHY CAN'T I JUST BE OKAY!?' she asked herself hysterically, desperate for an answer that she never received.

With a long, high-pitched scream she threw her spear as hard as she physically could, not caring what it hit, or if it hit anything at all. Utterly spent, she stepped backwards — and after a few paces came up against the door with a soft bump; she slid lifelessly down the smooth surface, finally coming to rest in a sitting position with her hands either side of her.

She started to cry: two heavy streams of tears meandered down her face to collect under her chin, forming into drops which then fell through the air and dappled her veil and the top beneath. For a long time she stared off into the distance… defeated and hopeless… lacking the will to put any effort into thinking…

When sitting became uncomfortable she changed positions and lay on her side; the fighting, determined, merciless part of her was disgusted by the way she'd given up, and as if to make sure that she stayed where she obviously belonged, it delivered its final assessment of the situation:

'There's no one to blame for this but yourself. If you had really wanted her, then you would've fought harder for her when you had the chance.'

As usual she was right, she was so weak… so ineffectual: even at the point when Rose had first announced her marriage she'd pretended to be happy, and then run away to cry.

She drew her arms and knees closer to her body, trying to make herself as small as she felt…