Chapter 7

2017 OR3, SGMWH, Seattle

Once Cristina arrived at the scrub room, April was already there cleaning her nails.

"Cristina! You should not be here! You are not supposed to be working on Meredith!" She screamed as she saw Cristina took a pack of soap from the rack.

"No, I need to get in there. He couldn't fix it on his own." Cristina ignored April and tied the mask around her neck. The red head surgeon was surprised by what her just said.

"Woah, no. Arizona paged me just in case. Dr Burke didn't say anything. He didn't ask for you. Please, Cristina, let us do our job. You are technically her family. We are not supposed to…"

"Every freaking person in this hospital is her family." April's tiny figure couldn't stop Cristina marching into the OR. She threw her hand into the air in frustration, and pulled a mask over her face before following Cristina.

"Burke, I am here." Cristina's tear was about to run down her face when she saw Meredith on the table, looking as pale as a corpse and have a thick tube inserted into her mouth. But she knows that she has to pull it together for her person, so she tried her best to suppress her fear.

"Yang! I paged Kepner not you!" Arizona didn't thought she would march into the OR. It is not that Cristina is incapable, it is just too cruel for her to operate on her best friend. Arizona can still vividly recall the day when Callie was in a car crash.

She was devastated when she saw Callie covered in shredded glass and blood. She wanted to help, and was furious when Richard kicked her out of the OR. But deep down? She knows that Webber was right. She couldn't trust herself not to have a breakdown when she slide the scalpel on Callie.

Arizona's mind was only out for a few seconds, but Cristina already made her way through the scrub nurses surrounding them to Burke's side.

"Talk to me, Burke. What do you want me to do?"

Burke didn't answer her. He just look up from the wound and stared right into Cristina's eyes. Only one glance is enough for her to understand what he wants and what he was thinking. She returned him an assured glance and ordered the nurse,

"Get me two bags of FFP, a bag of factor VII, more lap pads and right angled clamps. I need more lights in here."

Once the nurse got everything she needed, Cristina handed Burke some clamps when she soaked the lap pads with blood. The two of them worked seamlessly as if they are controlled by the same brain. They know exactly what the other person wanted to proceed. Gradually, the blood loss reduced its rate and provided a better view.

"Right there, I found the tear. Cristina, clamp the vein there and get me some 2-0 silk."

"Right away doctor." The scrub nurse handed him the suture he needed. As Burke began to sew the tear, Cristina's hand moved accordingly to make it easier for him. The tear was not huge, so the repairing was done within seconds. Burke breathed out relived, but the monitor began to beep.

"V-fib. Charge to 200. Clear." Burke picked up the paddle immediately and gave Meredith a shock. Nothing has changed. She was still in V-fib. After two more try, her heart flat-lined, Burke instantly started CPR. Cristina felt like she couldn't breathe. She looked up at the gallery and saw Lexie crying uncontrollably and Derek, who couldn't stop himself from watching the surgery, sobbing silently. Cristina grabbed Meredith's hand and said,

"Come on. Come on Mer. Come back to us Meredith, like what you've done after you were drown. Please, you can't leave Derek, Lexie, Zola,Bailey and I… Come on… Live. Live Meredith! I will never forgive you if die here, right now, on my watch! Can you hear me? I won't forgive you if you died!"

As if Meredith heard her, her heart started beating again. Cristina stared at the monitor and finally letting the tears she had been withholding flow freely.

"Dr Yang, are you ready to continue with the procedure?" Everyone has returned to their position except Cristina. Arizona couldn't help but asked.

"Yes, of course. But, um, could you wipe my tears for me please? Thank you." Cristina whispered to a scrub nurse near her and tried to ignore the giggles from her colleagues.


Maternity Ward, SGMWH

Cristina gently closed the door of Meredith's room, trying her best not to disturb the McDreamys. She sat down on one of the chairs in the nurse's station and started writing the post-op notes.

"I thought Burke did the surgery." Alex peeped at her chart from behind and asked. Some crumbs of his Danish landed on her head. Cristina swept off the crumbs annoyed.

"If you can't keep the crumbs in your mouth, don't eat it." She sighed and wheeled away from Alex. "Burke disappeared once the surgery was done. So I have to chart for him."

"I heard he made a mistake and almost killed Mer?"

"It's nothing near that alright? He nicked the umbilical vein, but it was under controlled. Mer is fine now, that's the only thing matters."

"Whoa, calm down. I am just asking. Don't be so dramatic. Jeez." Alex was apparently surprised by Cristina's over-reaction. "I am a freaking fetal surgery fellow. I understand how easy it is to accidentally cut a blood vessel."

"I know. I just… don't like your tone. You sounded like a cop."

"And you sounded like a bitch. Seriously though, if I weren't your friend, I would definitely say you have a thing for him."

"That doesn't scream friend to me." Cristina shot Alex an angry glare before got up from her chair.

"Where are you going?"

"A quiet place so I can chart without being distracted."

"Ha, you mean to screw Burke without being disturbed?"

The only thing answering Alex is Cristina's finger.


Cristina, carrying two cups of coffee with Meredith's chart under her arm, peeked into one on-call room and shut its door. Cristina keep on telling herself that she is only searching for Burke so she can finish the notes and go home. Which, is actually unnecessary, as she was in the OR basically the whole time herself. Burke can't tell her anything she doesn't already knew.

But still she is disappointed whenever she walks into an empty on-call room. She doesn't think Alex could see through her, but she couldn't explain why her legs are guiding her to search for him. Maybe because her brain kept on replaying the day when Eugene Foote died on his table, how Burke grieved and doubted himself in a dark on-call room, and how that makes her heart aches. Just now, he nearly killed Meredith by mistake, that guilt must be eating him alive. She felt like she has to be with him. AS A FRIEND.

Finally, she arrived at one specific on-call room. Being a surgeon is tough, and most of the time it means sleeping on bulk beds in hospital on-call rooms. Among the numerous rooms in SGMW, this is the one she never slept in after the divorce. It is the room where everything started: their first sexual encounter, the room where they finally established their romantic relationship, the room where she comforts him after Eugene Foote's death, the room where she found him when he was missing on their wedding day… She couldn't bear to walk into a place with so much memories after the person she create these memories with had left her.

She grasped the door knob, and twisted it after taking a few deep breaths.

"There you are."


A/N: Thank you for all of your kind reviews! I got really motivated to write when my readers ask for updates! Just to give you all a heads-up, I am going on a volunteer trip to Cambodia soon, probably won't bring my laptop with me... But I will try to update with my iPad when i have a better internet connection! I am going to update one or two more chapters before I left for the trip, it shouldn't be a long wait... I guess? :D