Author's Note: So I have an interesting little announcement. I have been requested to write a one-shot. I've never written one before so I really have no idea what I am doing, but I am going to try it anyways. It will be a Loki/Sigyn one-shot, and I will be using their incarnation from this story (though it will obviously not be plot related since it is a one-shot). With that being said, I will be writing and posting that before I write and post another chapter for this story. I am sorry for the little delay it will cause, but it might be nice for everyone to have something to read that isn't so depressing. Now on to the reviews! Nevvy Thank you so much for your lovely review! My goodness, you did have a lot of reading to do in two days, I'm impressed. Yes, it is wise of you to keep Hel's warning fresh in your mind. Coronation day is getting closer, and given the Marvel movie verse cannon we all know who isn't there... Taytayfanatical I am not sure I can cover all of your reviews here without writing a whole chapter so I will try to summarize... I am glad you are so excited about this story. Every single one of your reviews brought a smile to my face (yes, even the ones in which you were crying. Author's are so cruel like that, we like to know we can make our audience cry.) As a clarification for one of the earlier reviews Iounn drowned, Arnora (which looks a lot like Amora on my computer... so confusing!) died giving birth. It is possible you came across that after you posted that review, but it is good to remind all my readers of that. Sigyn has three deceased siblings. Anyways, I hope you enjoy the chapters to come. RebornRose1992 thank you! I am glad you are liking it :) SnowWhiteQueen Oh yes, how could I forget. You are my spokesperson for the darker side of life! Oh yes, Loki is beginning to wander down the path that we see him take on by the end of Thor, and seeds shall continue to be planted. I do not doubt that had any other member of the Council tried to speak to Loki as Odin did they would have found themselves at Loki's mercy. Yes, coping with loss can be a very strange thing sometimes. You never know what someone might find as comforting.
Four weeks of extended mourning had come and gone before Loki and Sigyn found themselves sitting at her parent's table for dinner. Though both Sigyn's brother and sister and their spouses were present at the meal, her nieces and nephews were absent. The conversation was kept rather trivial, but it seemed far less strained than those had with the members of his family. It was clear who was more accustomed to dealing with loss, and it was the first time since their child's death that Loki felt he and Sigyn were acting close to normal in the presence of others. The meal progressed smoothly, and Loki even caught Sigyn giving one or two reluctant, but genuine, grins. The dining party moved to the sitting room once they had finished eating, and the four women took seats to chat while the four men went to stand on the balcony of the room. Loki had desired to take his mother's suggestion and speak with Halldor about how to best deal with the loss of a child since she had made it, but he hadn't had the opportunity till this evening. It was a topic that he didn't particularly wish to bring up in the presence of his brother-in-laws, so he would avoid mentioning it till they had left. In the meantime, he did desire to speak with them about the events that had occurred in the healing rooms before Sigyn awoke. He had been able to derive little in regards to the particulars from Livia, but he found it difficult to believe that Halldor and his family would have taken the news not being delivered to them immediately well. It might have been a difficult subject to bring up with most people, but eventually the conversation allowed Loki the perfect opportunity to.
"How are you faring Loki?"
His father by law had long since abandoned referring to Loki by his title, and Loki was admittedly glad of it. It gave him a sense of familiarity that he hardly felt towards his actual father.
"As well as I can be I suppose."
Halldor nodded in understanding.
"And Sigyn?" Marcus inquired.
"She is faring better than I am, or she is just a better actress."
"She is more accustomed to handling loss than you are, so it would not surprise me if the shock wore off more quickly for her." Halldor assured.
"Getting Sigyn and yourself out of the palace for a while is a wise idea." Hallsteinn added. "Sometimes putting distance between yourself and a place associated with grief is enough to help you regain touch with reality."
"That is certainly my hope, it is fortunate that such a necessary task may serve that purpose."
"When do you expect to leave on your little tour?" Marcus asked.
"We are scheduled to leave in three days. We will begin with the estates furthest from the palace, and then we shall work our way in from there."
"And exactly how many estates are there?" Hallsteinn pressed.
"Seven, and we will spend a few days at each of them to give us a general feel of the areas they are located."
"Seven estates? You will be away for quite some time then." Halldor remarked.
"Probably around two months."
"Will your brother and his friends attend you on this journey?" Hallsteinn queried.
"No, only Livia, Sigyn's maid. We will, in all likeliness, choose one of the estates closer to the main city, but I think it would be wise to keep an open mind regardless of each estates distance from the palace. I personally wouldn't mind putting some distance between myself and my childhood home."
"Livia… she was the maid who brought Sigyn to the healing rooms was she not?" Halldor asked.
"Yes, she was the maid." Loki affirmed. "Her level-headedness through the situation is why I have asked her to accompany us on our excursion, and to serve us on our new estate."
"She seems like a dependable young lady, and I am sure Sigyn will appreciate some feminine companionship while she is away." Halldor mused.
"She was also the one who informed me that Sigyn was in the healing rooms when I returned to the palace." Loki added.
"So Odin didn't send word to you as he said." Halldor sighed.
"He did not. He knew I would have dropped my mission and come straight to Sigyn's side."
Hallsteinn swore under his breath and Markus shook his head disapprovingly, but Halldor didn't seem surprised by the revelation.
"I hadn't thought he would. That mission was trouble from the start, and I warned your father that Sigyn was in no condition for you to leave her on her own. Sure enough, you were gone a week and she was bedridden."
Loki gripped the rail in front of him tightly as his anger began to simmer again. He had learned of Sigyn's troubling reaction to the pregnancy from Sigyn herself, and he still couldn't make sense of it.
"The Council hadn't bothered to inform me of that either…" he muttered. "I assume their decision to send me in regardless was the reason you stepped down from the Council?"
"It was." Halldor confirmed. "I insisted that there were other members of the Crimson Hawks who could have handled the situation, but they were adamant that it had to be you. One of the other members suggested that my opinion on the matter wasn't to be trusted since my reason was being clouded by my fear for Sigyn. It was to that accusation that I stepped down. I was not about to take part in a Council that would send my son by law into a dangerous mission while my daughter was four months pregnant."
"So you have severed all ties with them for good?" Loki pressed.
"I have. I am old enough now that I should be spending time with my grandchildren, not talking of war."
"Are you finished working with the Council now as well?" Hallsteinn inquired of Loki.
"I am."
"You've said so before." Markus pointed out.
Loki couldn't suppress a little grin.
"I have a feeling that there is not a member of the War Council that would desire to be in my presence after my last meeting with them. I displayed my displeasure with them rather…sharply."
"Yet another reason to distance yourself from the palace." Hallsteinn observed.
Loki nodded.
"How did the AllFather react to your… displeasure?" Halldor questioned.
"He certainly wasn't thrilled by it. In truth, we have not really spoken since. I requested that he allow Sigyn and I time to visit the Royal estates, and he gave us his leave to do so. Both the request and the admission of it were brief and aloof."
The men stood silently looking out over the balcony for a short time, each captured in their own thoughts. It was Markus who finally broke the silence.
"I still cannot understand why the AllFather felt he had the right to keep the news of Sigyn's miscarriage from you."
"I see his reasoning as to why he did," Loki admitted, "but that hardly means it was right of him to do so. Although, I was told that I was not the only one he kept it from. Were you not all informed of her miscarriage the morning after it occurred?"
"Yes, and we were all less than enthused that the AllFather had waited so long to send word to us. Our daughter was in danger, and though the danger would have already passed by the time we reached her, I know Signy would have desired nothing more than to stay the night by her daughter's side." Halldor observed.
"I cannot argue that he didn't make the logical choice in not telling us till morning," Hallsteinn defended, "but in a case like that, logical decisions should sometimes give way to emotional ones."
Loki had to agree. Odin had handled the entire situation logically, but those involved weren't looking for reasoning that appealed to their logic. They were looking for their emotional needs to be fulfilled. His father had put off telling Loki and Sigyn's family important information till the logical moment arose, but sometimes the logical moment wasn't the correct one. A soft pair of footsteps came onto the balcony, and the men turned to see Frida standing there.
"Good evening gentleman. I hate to disturb your conversation, but it is time Markus and I headed home. Sigrún has probably driven the servants mad for long enough."
"How is Siggy?" Loki inquired.
"She is rambunctious as ever, much like her namesake was at that age." Frida answered with a nostalgic grin.
"Yes, our Siggy was quite the handful too." Hallsteinn remarked, while leaning on the railing.
"Oh shush Hallsteinn, I can hear you you know." Sigyn stated as she, Signy, and Aldís joined them on the balcony.
"Not to mention that you were hardly around when 'our Siggy' was that age anyways." Signy remarked with a smile towards her eldest surviving child.
Hallsteinn shot his mother a grin.
"True, but I recall coming home on more than one occasion wanting nothing more than to relax, only to find that Sigyn had decided she had wanted to play dress-up with my things and hadn't put any of them back."
Sigyn shrugged.
"Arnora was no longer living with us and Frida, Halli, and Iounn wouldn't let me play with their clothes. You were never really there to say I couldn't, so I did." Sigyn explained.
Loki wrapped his arm around Sigyn's waist and pulled her against him.
"You seemed to have had an odd habit of wearing men's clothes when you were younger." He reminisced.
"Yes, she somehow managed to leave her first banquet in your garments." Frida recalled.
"Indeed she did." Loki confirmed.
"In my defense, it was your mother who lent me them."
"Hmmm I still stand by what I said to you the next day…' he muttered in her ear.
Sign gave an almost inaudible laugh and Loki smirked. Apparently she did still recall what he had said to her regarding his pants.
"We really should be going now though." Frida reiterated. "Sigrún really might drive our servants insane. She was so upset when we told her that her Aunt Sigyn and Uncle Loki were going to be here, but that she wasn't allowed to come. I almost relented and brought her, but she still doesn't understand why the baby is no longer coming and I didn't want her to say anything that might upset you both any more."
"I believe the worst is behind us now, but thank you for thinking of us." Sigyn replied before pulling away from Loki and giving her sister a goodbye hug.
"You're my little sister, it's my job to look out for you." Frida replied with a smile.
Markus pulled Sigyn into a hug next.
"Have a safe journey to the estates, just don't pick one that is too far off. Sigrún will throw a fit if you do."
"We will most certainly keep that in mind when we choose."
"When you choose." Loki corrected before firmly shaking hands with Markus.
"Of course, when I choose." Sigyn repeated.
"It would be best if we returned home as well." Aldís encouraged.
"Afraid the boys have almost set the house on fire again?" Hallsteinn queried playfully.
"With those two? That is the least of my worries." Aldís retorted.
"It would seem mischief runs in the family." Loki remarked before shaking hands with Hallsteinn.
"I suppose it was only fitting that Sigyn marry the 'Prince of Mischief' then." Sigyn's elder brother remarked good humoredly.
"Now don't do my husband such a dishonor! Loki is the 'god of Mischief'." Sigyn interjected before wrapping her arms around Hallsteinn.
"Of course, how could I have forgotten?" He replied.
Sigyn released her brother and gave Aldís a hug as well before returning to Loki's side.
"Be safe in your travels." Hallsteinn encouraged before turning to leave with Aldís, Markus, and Frida.
Loki nodded in reply, and Signy left to escort them all to the door.
Loki only spoke once he was sure the others were out of hearing distance from the balcony.
"Lord Halldor…"
"Yes?" His father by law prompted.
"I am not certain how to ask this… or what I am even really wanting to ask, but... how do you deal with the loss of a child?"
Halldor glanced at Sigyn, then back to Loki.
"Just as you have been. You take solace in your spouse, and you handle the grief day by day."
"But how do you handle the grief? It's not just merely sadness. It is frustration and anger… and helplessness… and…"
"Yes, it is all those things, and more, but there is no one way to handle it. Each person must grapple with loss in his or her own manner. Losing a child is especially difficult to cope with, believe me, I understand that better than most."
"It is why I am asking you, neither my mother nor father quite understand…"
"All the more blessing on them. I would not wish my worst enemy to suffer the loss of a child. It seems wrong for a baby to die before their parent." Halldor remarked.
"I don't know what I am supposed to do with all these conflicting emotions. One moment I am fine, and the next I want to break down and cry… or throw something."
"All natural reactions, I assure you. You are not experiencing anything that any grieving parent has not experienced before."
Sigyn wrapped her arm through Loki's and leaned her head against his shoulder.
"All things considered, I would say that you have both handled this situation with as much poise as anyone your ages possibly could. There will always be a small part of you that grieves for your baby, but now is the time to look forward. You are about to take on an estate of your own, which will mark the beginning of a new chapter for you both." Halldor encouraged.
Loki turned his gaze to the stars. Though Halldor hadn't been able to tell him exactly how to deal with his warring emotions, it was nice to know that he too had suffered from them at one point. If Lord Halldor had been able to conquer these same feelings after the loss of not one child, but three, then Loki could pull through as well.
There was silence for a time between the three Asgardians on the balcony, but that changed when Signy returned.
"What a somber gathering we have here." She remarked as she approached her husband's side.
"We were just taking time to enjoy the beautiful evening." Halldor replied.
"I see." She answered, obviously unconvinced. "So do you have any exciting plans before you head out on your tour?"
"I am sure Thor won't allow us to leave without spending at least one entire evening with him." Sigyn guessed.
"Two months are a long journey." Signy mused.
"And it could take longer. Two months are assuming that everything goes according to plan in regards to travel and the weather. There is a high probability that we will be gone longer." Loki pointed out.
"Best not tell your brother that, or he will insist on going with us." Sigyn determined with a small smile.
"What makes you say that?" Loki queried.
"Will it not be the longest amount of time you have ever been separated from one another?" She pressed.
Loki was taken a back a bit by the revelation. Sigyn was right, the longest he and Thor had ever gone without seeing one another was a little over a month. It was a separation that Thor would have to grow accustomed to though, when Loki left the confines of the palace.
"Well I am certain your brother will be able to keep himself occupied while you are away. Surely the AllFather will have him busy studying the ways of a good ruler." Signy remarked.
"My father has groomed us both for the throne since we were young. It is unlikely he will add any new duties to Thor's list." Loki remarked.
"He would do well to add any duties to your brother's list, aside from training and sitting idly about with his companions." Halldor muttered.
"Father!" Sigyn scolded.
"Prince Thor is no king, not yet. He has never faced any true challenge to prove him ready for the throne." Halldor asserted.
"That is not you decision to make." Signy scolded softly.
"I am well aware of that, but I dare say that none of you here would argue with me on that observation."
"Prince Thor will simply have to learn his role as king through trial and error." Sigyn finally assessed.
"With some professions that is an acceptable learning method, but taking up the responsibility as the protector of the Nine Realms is not one of them. Trial and error as the king of Asgard could carry a high price to its people." Halldor rebutted.
"That is true, but there is no way anyone can be thoroughly trained to take on such a position." Loki argued. "No one can forsee every challenge that might present itself to a king."
"No, no one can prepare fully for such a task, but there are ways to prepare for some scenarios. Has your brother ever studied anything of Asgard's history aside from its wars?"
"Halldor, that is enough." Signy insisted. "Loki does not need to hear your misgivings. Odin is handing the throne over to Thor perhaps a bit too early, but he will be there to guide his inexperienced son."
"And when Odin dies?" Halldor rebutted. "We are all not as young as we once were, Signy. The AllFather's strength weakens."
"All the more reason for him to turn over his responsibilities to Prince Thor now." Signy returned.
"Father, I understand your reservations, but Thor will have good counsel even once Odin has passed. Do you really believe that he will not confide in Loki?" Sigyn pointed out.
Halldor focused his eyes on Loki, and Loki returned his stare. His father by law seemed to be trying to convey something with his gaze, and Loki felt he understood the unspoken message.
"I cannot convince my father to put off the coronation." He stated. "I couldn't do so before this last argument, so there is no hope of it now."
"But you do not believe Thor to be ready?"
Loki let out a sigh, he had never admitted as much to anyone aside from Sigyn and his father.
"No, I do not believe he is ready, but there are no number of words that can convince the AllFather of that."
"Then we best hope that your brother's actions demonstrate his rash immaturity before he takes the throne, otherwise his future actions may place the Nine Realms in danger." Halldor finished.
Loki wrapped one of Sigyn's hands with his own. Lord Halldor was right. Thor's rash and immature nature was his greatest stumbling block. Loki had failed to convince the AllFather of this, so all that could be hoped for was that Thor would betray his true colors to their father. Even then, would that be enough? It would take a serious act of defiance for Odin to see any ill in his firstborn.
"Loki?" Sigyn cooed, bringing him out of his thoughts.
"Yes?" He replied instinctively.
"It is getting late, and I think it is time we returned to the palace."
"Yes, of course. We have accosted your parent's enough for one evening."
"Nonsense, we have enjoyed the company." Signy replied with a smile. "It is always lovely to see you both outside of the decorum of court."
The elder couple escorted Loki and Sigyn to the courtyard and waited while servants fetched their horses.
Sigyn threw her arms around her father in farewell, and Loki placed a kiss on his mother-in-law's cheek.
"Don't let her overtax herself while you are away. Try to remind her that this trip is as much about enjoying yourselves as it is about choosing a new estate." Signy requested.
Loki replied by giving Signy's hand an affirming squeeze before allowing Sigyn to embrace her mother. Lord Halldor took Loki's hand firmly and pulled him in a little closer.
"Keep an eye on Sigyn." He muttered.
"I always do."
"I know, just be very wary now lest those in high places determine she is to pay for our indiscretions."
"Surely that is an unlikely scenario."
Lord Halldor's eyes flashed.
"Do not be so certain. The War Council has no reason to be fond of Sigyn, and the tide of power is beginning to shift within the ranks of nobility. I do not need to tell you of Asgard's instability. Should someone on the Council take it in their mind to pressure either of us through Sigyn your father will be unlikely to shield her."
Loki gripped Halldor's hand tighter. Surely no one on the Council would take their anger towards him or Lord Halldor out on Sigyn… then again, hadn't he been the one to warn Sigyn of trusting anyone? If the War Council truly wanted to press him into their services again they knew that she was their best leverage.
"Goodness Loki! We could have been half-way back to the palace by now!" Sigyn teased from her mount.
Loki quickly turned to smile at his wife.
"Forgive me, your father wanted to offer some last-minute advice." He excused before throwing a look at Halldor and Signy, who had taken her husband's arm.
Apparently she had overheard part of their exchange for the same glint of worry lit up her eyes as well.
"And what advice was that, may I ask?"
Loki strutted over to his horse and quickly mounted.
"I can't possibly say it aloud, but I could show you when we reach our chambers…"
Sigyn rolled her eyes and Loki chuckled at her reaction. She obviously didn't believe him, but was too embarrassed to retort in front of her mother and father.
"Make sure you write to us." Lord Halldor requested of his daughter.
Sigyn sent him an angelic smile that only a daughter can give her father.
"I will." She promised.
Loki gave Lady Signy and Lord Halldor a nod of mutual understanding before he spurred his mount on and out of the courtyard. Sigyn was out of the courtyard right behind him, and galloping right by Loki's side in a flash. She had to hold Roan back so she didn't leave Loki behind, but Loki almost wished she would go on ahead of him. He needed some time to think over her father's words. This was now the second time he had been warned of some danger that could befall Sigyn. He had not forgotten Hel's warning to him all of those years ago.
Hel.
Now that was someone who had not been on his mind recently. Had Sigyn thought of her, or more importantly, had she seen her? It wasn't likely she had, since she would have informed him. Hel had been wrong so far in her warning to Loki, but now Halldor had his nerves on edge again. The problem he was confronted with at the moment was whom was he even supposed to be protecting Sigyn from? His enemies, or the people he had once served. Where they now one and the same?
