A/N: This was the chapter which was hardest to write of all. I had planned it from the beginning, but rewrote it time and time again until I felt like there was nothing more I could do to make it better. Hopefully it has the desired effect...
As always, I'm happy to know if you liked it!
Chapter 15 – The Disir
I watched them until they were out of sight. I hadn't seen them in months, only four times in all within the last year, and there was not a day that went by without me missing them. It was like I was torn from the second world I had felt at home in, only this time it was worse, because I was still there. In theory I was only hours away from Camelot. In reality, I was an outcast who would be hanged if I ever made my way back to the citadel. But still, I was responsible for the mess I created, and I wanted to set it right. I needed to set it right. I needed to know my friends were save before I left this world for good.
The necklace Gwaine had returned to me was safely hidden in one of the pockets of my dress. I hadn't tried to put it on, afraid I would be sucked out of this world right away (maybe there was a council's member who would push some buttons and I would be back for questioning before I could say 'Camelot'). Additionally, I wasn't able to look at it without feeling lost and alone, so I almost never took it out. Especially not at nights, when I was constantly afraid of being attacked by some mythical beast or, even worse, a man. Now that I was back to being a woman (hoping this would give me extra protection, in case they were still looking for William) I felt vulnerable.
Especially while watching my friends disappear between the trees.
While I had waited for them to return to Camelot, I had almost run into Gwaine and Percival, who had been talking worriedly about Mordred. Even the mere mention of that name made my skin crawl. The knight had joined Arthur's army a few weeks after I had fled from the citadel, and until now, I had never seen him.
He was younger than I pictured him in my mind, smiling, boyishly, beardless, and, apparently, best friends with the inseparables. I felt jealous the moment I saw him, feeling like he had taken my place with them, but then I pushed the thought aside. For all they knew, I was a liar and an impostor, and for the one who knew the truth, he believed me to have withdrawn to my own world. It was somehow natural they would forget me or stop talking about me after more than a year. Maybe they even pretended I never existed.
I hadn't been sure what to do after I fled the castle. I only knew I would not leave my friends now. Maybe there was still a chance that by withdrawing and stopping to meddle with the King and his court directly, I might be able to stop my presence to mess with the time line any more. It had seemed like the only possible choice anyway, seeing that I wouldn't be able to return to the city and live to tell the tale.
The only person who knew about me staying was Gaius. It took me a lot of pleading with an unknowing tinker (I had no money at all with me then), but the man was kind and thought me a wretched beggar, so he delivered a letter of explanation to the physician.
Gaius had sent me word three times about how things were going at the castle – the last time deeply worried about the Disir's message to Arthur. Only when I read the name, I remembered the creepy messengers of the triple goddess and formed part of a plan in my mind.
After all, I had an important question to ask of them. With a bit of luck, they might just answer it.
I entered the Disir's cave carefully and slowly. I had left my sword outside, and without its familiar weight on my waist, I felt even more naked than before. I had to watch my step because the ground was uneven, and mind my head because of all the magic-sacred-thingys hanging from the cave ceiling. I was careful not to disturb them.
The deeper I got in, the colder it got, and I was soon shivering in my thin dress, wishing to be back outside in the unusually warm spring sun.
Finally I reached the mouth of the tunnel, where it widened into a cave. It took me quite some time to discern the dark-blue clad women in the semi-darkness. They were standing together in one corner, in almost inaudible conversation with each other.
If they were noticing my presence, they ignored it.
I stood in awkward silence until suddenly one of them made a strange, sniffling sound (not unlike the one the ring-wraiths made in Lord of the Rings) and they turned around in perfect unison, so fast I could hardly believe it. I couldn't see much of their faces, only their mouths, the rest was shadowed by their hoods. The one on the left showed her teeth and it looked more like the snarl of an animal and not much like a human facial expression.
"Who are you?", the one on the right asked, clutching her staff tightly.
"My name is... Was William of Camelot", I answered, not because I wanted to lie to them, but because the question took me by surprise. After all, the goddess was praised as the one knowing everything, wasn't she?
"You speak the truth", the one in the middle murmured and added, like she had an afterthought, "but you are also dishonest."
"What brings you here?", another one asked.
I made a bow, feeling like it was expected of me, and said: "I have a question I need answered."
"We will answer your question, but only if you answer ours in return."
I nodded my agreement, wondering what they wanted to know of me, when the left hooded figure, who had kept her silence until now, hissed: "Tell us what you have in your pocket, 'William'."
Somehow her voice differed from the other two, and when she pointed to me, her fingers were shaking.
In reflex, I raised my hand to the necklace.
Funnily enough, a tiny voice in my head screamed 'we hates it forever!', remembering another thing hidden in a pocket. The thought distracted me, so it took me a few seconds to answer the question.
"It's a device that enables one to move between different universes."
"It is surrounded by strange magic. Very powerful magic", she muttered, as if to herself, and then pointed at me again: "Give it to us."
"You haven't answered my question yet!"
"It does not belong here. Give it to us", they repeated, speaking as one.
It took me the length of two heartbeats to decide. I handed the necklace over, then made another bow, wondering if I had just given away my only save way out of this world.
The three women all inspected the necklace thoroughly before turning back to me.
"So it is you", one of them exclaimed, clearly outraged, pointing an accusing finger toward me, "who has double-crossed the goddess' biddings! You who clouded our vision for this long!"
"You do not belong here", the left one added. Her voice had a menacing edge.
Then, like they were chanting, they all spoke in unison again, the cave echoing with their voices: "The goddess knows all. She sees all. She provides for all who live the ways of the old religion. And we are the ones who serve her. We carry out her orders. We speak her judgement."
There were moments of uncomfortable silence after this outburst. Then the one in the middle hissed: "Ask your question, girl."
"Is Mordred destined to kill Arthur or is their another way?", I asked, my voice quivering, because I was sure that I already knew the answer. But I needed to try anyway, I needed to give him a chance. Maybe there was a way how I could not only save Mordred and Arthur, but also myself.
The woman on the right threw the necklace at my feet without making a sound, and the cloaked figure in the middle said, with her voice back to emotionless: "The magic you have brought into our world is strong, but is it stronger than the greatest destiny of all? The goddess has seen into the future and has judged your beloved King. He has but one chance to escape his fate, but even now that you are here, he is on the edge of sealing it forever. Do you really believe you could save him? Save your friends? Save Camelot? You can't even save yourself!"
The one on the left started talking the second the woman in the middle closed her mouth: "You call yourself tale-changer, but you do not know what you did to this world. It is unravelling because of you. Either you leave for good, or stay here and see its destruction. You are powerless. There is nothing you can do."
"Nothing! Nothing!", the other two echoed. And then they started to laugh, a horrible, crazy laugh which echoed from the cave walls and repeated itself over and over again. Suddenly I was sure I heard four women laugh, not only three, and felt like someone was forcing their way directly to my heart with the intention of crushing it.
I stooped, picked up my necklace, turned and ran. I fled as fast and far as I could, not caring any more about stumbling and falling in the cave or disturbing the magic thingys. The sun was gone by the time I crawled out of the cave, but still I felt the urge to get away from there. I stopped only when my legs gave way beneath me. I collapsed against a tree somewhere in the middle of the woods, in total darkness.
This world is unravelling. There is nothing you can do.
